₦airaland Forum

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

I know it’s a problem bt then I don’t think it’s a cause for alarm. Smtmes a man needs a break or space to sort himself out especially when the wife isn’t very understanding or cooperative as he wud want or expect, In such cases a temporary separation is helpful and this shudnt mean break down of communication. Smtmes it’s better that way than to get provoked by everything she does because of ur situation and present work issues and frustrations. She probably trying to avoid an escalation. Get ur self back in track and take care of ur family.


2ndly why isn’t ur wife working or running a business to support u or the family. This is a huge mistake. Never have only one source of income.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

You don't womanize? That's the mistake you made bro. In the long run, women get bored with a man no other woman wants. I won't say more than this.

Hmmm. Its well.

GeniusWannabe:
Should Oyakhilome be his standard?......

I have not said that.... But I would presume, Oyakhilome is more spiritual than OP.......

The former divorced his wife....... That was my point....

elmagnifico411:
Problem number 1; you don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you don’t womanise, I hope you watch football, cos if u dont eeehn, na wahala u dey so oh. See ehn, for we brotherhood of the bar, we don’t entaitain this kindaissues. If I were I , I wouldn’t go looking for her again. This is time to test your skills( have your female friends come check u at home. Not that you want to do anything oh, but for reports to get to her that it seems another woman wants to take her place. She will leave her yeye mother), borrowing that phrase ‘if your story is true’.

You got no vice. Now she seems to be like the only thing u got, every now and then you seem lost and empty. Bros, get out there and start looking for a good woman who would love u for u. You don’t even know if she was the one that brought bad luck to u. Abeg celebrate her departure.

A friend of mine got married while he was jobless. Thank God he got a good family. They all rally round him and helped him out, though the wife had a job.. a month into their marriage, dangote fkndtirctions offered him a nice job and oga is doing well now. Thata the kinda luck a good woman come with. Everyone has foregotten that when he wanted to get married baba no get job. Bros, that woman isn’t for you. Go get a new woman who’s gonna be a source of open doors to u. Ire o

Op if you have ears make you listen to the above advice.

Many people are not meant to be together in marriage....some marry other people's wife or husband unknowingly.

Go and celebrate your freedom and move on.
Soon as you start another relationship, honestly you'll experience open doors and your fortune will change.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

My only advice is try and ignore her just keep hustling to make both ends meet, I assure u she will regain her sense.

Tunagee:
Wow! I appreciate your advise. But a responsible woman now would want me to divorce her and marry her; the court process, my age 44, having to go through all that marriage procedure and process again, that is, God forbid, I don't end up with someone even much more worse as a wife.

Bros for you sanity, start thinking of life outside your wife.

The two of you are not kids. When I first started reading I was expecting someone in the age range of early 30s. If she doesn’t know what it means to hold a family at this age then bros there’s nothing you can do about its.

There’s nothing you can preach to a woman of that age that she hasn’t seen or heard before. What ever she’s doing now, she’s in perfect control of it. Its only ego and arrogance that is keeping her from seeing it.

From your write up I don’t think you guys have had more than 1 or 2 children. She’d soon realize her foolishness when menopause starts knocking on her door.

Leave her and face your career. Call to ask about your kid/kids but not her. When she starts realizing she’s about to loose you, she’d retrace her steps.

densiks:
Lol
This dude is crazy..lol

Oga, OP said his religious stand forbids divorce..... His wife is clearly not giving him joy and he wants to die dere...........

Marriage is not by force..... Orphans survive, Bastards survive...... So kids would always survive in a divorce...

Why will any reasonable and god fearing woman tarnish her husband's image before her people. It is possible for women at times to expose their hubby 's weaknesses because they were angry at that moment though it is not good.
Just like others said,if your story is true.Please talk to God to touch her heart. For a woman to leave her husband's house, it is a serious thing.

Sorry bro but let me state this first. I am over 40 too, with 3 kids and by grace a pastor. your wife is 100% from a broken home or the one that the woman is the one wearing the trousers. she never was there with you but for the money and to be sincere pastors will always tell you to be patient and prayerful but the fact is that when will you have peace of mind. I won't tell you to jump into the hands of another woman but you need to simply try and delete her memory from your brain keep on doing whatever you are doing now and gradually come to terms with looking for another woman. If a woman can spend 10 months outside her matrimonial house then someone is simply helping her to weed the garden. so bros abeg forget her or do you think that when you gradually get on your feet back she will come back what of if there is a downturn in finances again in future when you don't have the strength to work again what do you think she will do. Let me give you one. She will tell your kids that you are a worthless father whose star is cursed and will bring bad luck to anyone who helps you. shey you go deny am den? Please pick up your life and forget what anyone says God gave us brain to think out our situations at times not to pray over it. paint future scenarios of bad things and contemplate what will be her stand considering what she is doing now. Please forget her. guy I am also from a broken home and I know how much you are trying to avoid it but the truth is that I will not think about what people will say but what will give me peace more so if I die today the kids will not die with me

Nice men will always carry last or dealt with.

My brother, free the woman for now, let her miss u bad. Find a job, improve your self and the babe will come begging

Tunagee:
Bro, I thought of it, but my faith as a christian won't allow me. More so, am from a broken home so I know what separation is, and the effect on the kids. Thirdly, the courts can take some years to divorce couples, especially when they don't see any tangible reason, and in the end, they tell couples to go settle their differences, especially when one spouse still shows interest. Am in my early 40's

You are from a broken home, now you are captive in your marriage... uncle you never see wife o.

1. You married from a bad family...


2 your wife dont love you atall

3. You can't end your life this way...

Painful thing is your wife can't plan with you... or even encourage you to beat the fear.. bros.. you want to know the truth...

This is not marriage neither is it love... find a woman who loves you... get her preggy... and extend the divorce paper to your wife you will see how quickly court will Answer you.. then marry the peggy lady.

See you are suffering emotionally you need a woman in your life.. not a woman who dont care about your existence.


I remember telling my wife as we were watching a movie... that if I hear a loud nag from her like the movie scene... I will marry 3 wives for that.. lol. I might be joking but I can do it. Bros please be in control pleassseee

I have rules in my house

No abuse

No nagging

No malice

No one must hear about anything we do.. no one. It start and die with us.. and 8 years it's been like that.

Dont hide behind faith and die miserably... I beg you.

Lexusgs430:
Oga, OP said his religious stand forbids divorce..... His wife is clearly not giving him joy and he wants to die dere...........

Marriage is not by force..... Orphans survive, Bastards survive...... So kids would always survive in a divorce...

Yeah..you’re damn right!
It’s more important he stays alive.

lilmax:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017.









yep I stopped reading at this point

divorce am immediately

Baddest

Nnemuka:

Asking a broke guy to get someone pregnant
you guys are jokers, everything seems easy for you bachelors until marriage resets your brain

I told him to get a job first, slay queen that can't read.

Or you are supporting your runaway fellow woman?

theButterfly:
You know the reason why she left then. In that case, she was right about the complaints she gave her family and told no lies against you. Verbal and emotional abuse are a big deal. As you've admitted and are aware of your shortcomings: unguided vocal utterances [I reckon these must have been cruel and mean], impatience, anger, and intolerance, then I cannot blame your wife for leaving and removing herself from such a toxic environment.

If you still want your marriage, then get yourself together. Get a job [what have you been doing since losing your job in 2017?], work on your weaknesses above, then fight for your family. 10-months is a long time for you to be w|o your wife and child. The further apart you are, the further apart you'll become.

U this butterfly, it would b best u keep quiet and concentrate on nectar rather than spill rubbish. U want him to 'get a job' from??

Can not imagine what the man is going through... Women are evil. Some are out to make the life of their husband miserable.

Tunagee:
Bro, I thought of it, but my faith as a christian won't allow me. More so, am from a broken home so I know what separation is, and the effect on the kids. Thirdly, the courts can take some years to divorce couples, especially when they don't see any tangible reason, and in the end, they tell couples to go settle their differences, especially when one spouse still shows interest. Am in my early 40's

It is commendable that you have the courage to speak out. But have you noticed that you are addicted to the thought of your wife?

To get your wife back, you must first of all, forget about her totally. Both you and your wife are now entangled, totally connected on a quantum level and to break through your addiction to the pain of the love, you must become a new creature, which means the things you do now, you wll no longer do them and the things you do not do, you must begin to do them. So, when your brain wave changes to a different resonance frequency, you will be psychically disconnected from your wife and that is when magic happens.

Unfortunately, you will not believe and will not take the following advice, but here lies the solution;

The things you do, that you should not do;
1. Disconnect your mind from the thought of your wife, kill the thoughts once it comes into your head.
2. Delete her number from your phone and any location you can find it. And do not call her even if you have the number in your mind.
3. Do not pick her calls even if she calls, and never pick at all except she returns, which will certainly happen if you follow this advice.
4. Do not talk to any of her relatives and do not answer their calls. And if you eventually do, tell them you are no longer interested in her.
5. Remove all her cloths and accessories from site and store them in boxes so you do not see them.

The things you do not do, which you must do;
1. A little alcoholic red wine, just very little to change your brainwave. Jesus turned water to wine.
2. Get green Cannabis (the one created by God, for healing of nations ) and make tea for yourself with it every morning to deprogram your subconscious mind and nervous system and alter wife's addiction pattern.
3. Get a lady friend, and I mean a great beauty that can actually mentally replace your wife, what you do with her about from loving friendship is up to you, if I was the one, she wll be my companion on bed.


With these strategies, within months your thoughts pattern will change and the addiction to your wife and the thoughts of her will break and connection to her will be deactivated and both of you will no longer be entangled.

Once that happens, your wife will return as a prodigal son, and you will give her condition for forgiveness.

The above is practically the solution, the other alternative is Meditation and I do not mean prayer, I mean meditating till you connect to the Unified field, until your sub-conscious mind resets. And she must also do same, if she does it and you do it, you will see your dreams begin to change and the energy vampire destroying your marriage will not be able to handle the new vibration.

After this you will equally get a job. It is magic. A practical way to get your desires.

Those are the two ways, and I recommend you do both. You are over 40 and have nothing to loose.

Nnemuka:
you are too proud, ego is your major problem which you need to work on.
see how you painted your wife , you just want us to see the demon in her and perfect husband in you.
for 10months your inlaws didn't call and you didn't bother calling nor visiting to know how she's fairing.
That woman should just leave you and focus on being better because being with you will never be productive.

Another mad woman on the loose...

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

move on ,remain stable ,don't think about her often ,if u don't sleep well ,get some pill every night .soon u will forget about her and her family .life have being like these since 2000 yrs ago .life is never 4ever .everyone have a limited time to live .pray for ur future endeavour to progress .find a living church to study bible ok .

lilmax:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017.









yep I stopped reading at this point

divorce am immediately

Oh maka why?

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

She has been gone for ten months, really? After one year, you are free to apply for a divorce, on the ground of separation. She can do so as well. I think you are being played here. Your claim to her faithfulness is funny and childish. Never trust a liar. Open your eyes. A woman never leaves what she has, unless she is holding onto something else. Be guided. I don talk finish. Be prepared.

I am married. Been for more than 10 years. So I am not telling you bs. Look for another woman after the 12th month, and file for divorce. You deserve better. That’s if you are telling the whole truth, and nothing but.....

Well we ve not heard from her so it will b wrong to conclude
But if all u said is true then it means she married cos u were doing well bfo so try and work hard and bring ur family back

Oga,just bear in mind that no woman on earth, ever stays with a jobless man, or one who has no money .

Stay.
Away.
From
Nigerian
Women.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

Sorry. Women are many, wives are few; obviously your wife is not a WIFE, because she's not among the chosen few.
To the single brodas wey dey NL, my prayer for Una b say when time to say "I Do" reach, make Una get luck find beta woman wey go complement you for YOU.

bonnez:
You don't womanize? That's the mistake you made bro. In the long run, women get bored with a man no other woman wants. I won't say more than this.

is that what you tell yourself to make you feel better Lol. His sexual escapades is not the issue here. Its his transition from employed to joblessness and how he is presenting himself at home that is the issue. He should stop trying to force her back. But try to be romantic and woe her back. But you wont understand love and romance. Mr cassanova lol. Just joking abeg

Guys don’t beg a woman to marry you ,marry a girl who can’t stay without when you guys were dating.

Martinez39:
When ubunja, lukui, myself and others are speaking, people like the OP and the frustrated woman called lilwetd.ick would call us frustrated, bitter and broke. Hope you can now see that no money, no love.

A woman cannot love a man except he if satisfies both or one of the following conditions:
1) He has plenty money.
2) He might not have much now but he shows great potential to acquire a lot in the nearest future.

It doesn't matter whether you are handsome or morally upright, if you satisfy these conditions or one of them, they will love you. No money, no love. Too bad you are just realising this.

Surrogate mums for giving you children; a nanny to take care of them until they can safely find their way around the house; and a wide variety of slay queens/prostitutes to pleasure you anytime you want and how you want would have been better.

You spoke my mind bro, this is exactly What im telling one of my friend today but him and the people around here was just abusing me, they said im insane. Well i just leave dem alone