₦airaland Forum

Ibk2048:
Don't you think its better to remarry than loosing your life to a that don't worth it? If she comes back, I bet she's going to be bossy, autocratic and want to dominate every decisions. This from experience.

Fountainofyouth:
Honestly this is sad, from all your write up, the problem started when you lost your job, meaning all was fine before then, meaning you enticed her with money when you both started dating, meaning there was never real love in the first place just love for material and financial gain, well,since she is still interested in the marriage, give her more time that she needs, do your part by calling and seeing her not just sending your mum to go there, make steps too towards getting her back cos it's obvious you both still want to be together, all the best.

P.S To all those guys that says "make money first then women will flow your way" this is the end result.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

bonnez:
You don't womanize? That's the mistake you made bro. In the long run, women get bored with a man no other woman wants. I won't say more than this.

JudasNaCarrot:
Op if you have ears make you listen to the above advice.

Many people are not meant to be together in marriage....some marry other people's wife or husband unknowingly.

Go and celebrate your freedom and move on.
Soon as you start another relationship, honestly you'll experience open doors and your fortune will change.

Samsonklin:
Invest in Forex. I can help you

Debaiz:
Bros for you sanity, start thinking of life outside your wife.

The two of you are not kids. When I first started reading I was expecting someone in the age range of early 30s. If she doesn’t know what it means to hold a family at this age then bros there’s nothing you can do about its.

There’s nothing you can preach to a woman of that age that she hasn’t seen or heard before. What ever she’s doing now, she’s in perfect control of it. Its only ego and arrogance that is keeping her from seeing it.

From your write up I don’t think you guys have had more than 1 or 2 children. She’d soon realize her foolishness when menopause starts knocking on her door.

Leave her and face your career. Call to ask about your kid/kids but not her. When she starts realizing she’s about to loose you, she’d retrace her steps.

Tunagee:
wow! thank you

abiodunfat:
Why will any reasonable and god fearing woman tarnish her husband's image before her people. It is possible for women at times to expose their hubby 's weaknesses because they were angry at that moment though it is not good.
Just like others said,if your story is true.Please talk to God to touch her heart. For a woman to leave her husband's house, it is a serious thing.

Golden41:
My brother, free the woman for now, let her miss u bad. Find a job, improve your self and the babe will come begging

spiritedtete:
You are from a broken home, now you are captive in your marriage... uncle you never see wife o.

1. You married from a bad family...


2 your wife dont love you atall

3. You can't end your life this way...

Painful thing is your wife can't plan with you... or even encourage you to beat the fear.. bros.. you want to know the truth...

This is not marriage neither is it love... find a woman who loves you... get her preggy... and extend the divorce paper to your wife you will see how quickly court will Answer you.. then marry the peggy lady.

See you are suffering emotionally you need a woman in your life.. not a woman who dont care about your existence.


I remember telling my wife as we were watching a movie... that if I hear a loud nag from her like the movie scene... I will marry 3 wives for that.. lol. I might be joking but I can do it. Bros please be in control pleassseee

I have rules in my house

No abuse

No nagging

No malice

No one must hear about anything we do.. no one. It start and die with us.. and 8 years it's been like that.

Dont hide behind faith and die miserably... I beg you.

VRDroid:
It is commendable that you have the courage to speak out. But have you noticed that you are addicted to the thought of your wife?

To get your wife back, you must first of all, forget about her totally. Both you and your wife are now entangled, totally connected on a quantum level and to break through your addiction to the pain of the love, you must become a new creature, which means the things you do now, you wll no longer do them and the things you do not do, you must begin to do them. So, when your brain wave changes to a different resonance frequency, you will be psychically disconnected from your wife and that is when magic happens.

Unfortunately, you will not believe and will not take the following advice, but here lies the solution;

The things you do, that you should not do;
1. Disconnect your mind from the thought of your wife, kill the thoughts once it comes into your head.
2. Delete her number from your phone and any location you can find it. And do not call her even if you have the number in your mind.
3. Do not pick her calls even if she calls, and never pick at all except she returns, which will certainly happen if you follow this advice.
4. Do not talk to any of her relatives and do not answer their calls. And if you eventually do, tell them you are no longer interested in her.
5. Remove all her cloths and accessories from site and store them in boxes so you do not see them.

The things you do not do, which you must do;
1. A little alcoholic red wine, just very little to change your brainwave. Jesus turned water to wine.
2. Get green Cannabis (the one created by God, for healing of nations ) and make tea for yourself with it every morning to deprogram your subconscious mind and nervous system and alter wife's addiction pattern.
3. Get a lady friend, and I mean a great beauty that can actually mentally replace your wife, what you do with her about from loving friendship is up to you, if I was the one, she wll be my companion on bed.


With these strategies, within months your thoughts pattern will change and the addiction to your wife and the thoughts of her will break and connection to her will be deactivated and both of you will no longer be entangled.

Once that happens, your wife will return as a prodigal son, and you will give her condition for forgiveness.

The above is practically the solution, the other alternative is Meditation and I do not mean prayer, I mean meditating till you connect to the Unified field, until your sub-conscious mind resets. And she must also do same, if she does it and you do it, you will see your dreams begin to change and the energy vampire destroying your marriage will not be able to handle the new vibration.

After this you will equally get a job. It is magic. A practical way to get your desires.

Those are the two ways, and I recommend you do both. You are over 40 and have nothing to loose.

Tunagee:
Thanks I appreciate, Ionelydora. I hope u are not too lonely?

joe120120:
move on ,remain stable ,don't think about her often ,if u don't sleep well ,get some pill every night .soon u will forget about her and her family .life have being like these since 2000 yrs ago .life is never 4ever .everyone have a limited time to live .pray for ur future endeavour to progress .find a living church to study bible ok .

1234IKECHhukwu:
Oga,just bear in mind that no woman on earth, ever stays with a jobless man, or one who has no money .

Martinez39:
When ubunja, lukui, myself and others are speaking, people like the OP and the frustrated woman called lilwetd.ick would call us frustrated, bitter and broke. Hope you can now see that no money, no love.

A woman cannot love a man except he if satisfies both or one of the following conditions:
1) He has plenty money.
2) He might not have much now but he shows great potential to acquire a lot in the nearest future.

It doesn't matter whether you are handsome or morally upright, if you satisfy these conditions or one of them, they will love you. No money, no love. Too bad you are just realising this.

Surrogate mums for giving you children; a nanny to take care of them until they can safely find their way around the house; and a wide variety of slay queens/prostitutes to pleasure you anytime you want and how you want would have been better.

Typewriter:
Bro you never hard a wife you only have a hang on lady, I'll advice you get on the street and look for your real wife, get job no matter how small it pays, to make your days smooth too. And pls. Don't blame your mother in law its only natural she stand by her daughter, they have the same view to marriage no money no romance MONICA= Money+Car. Now that she has free you don't go back to enslave yourself, remember if she can do this now that you are young enough to fend for yourself what will she do when you are 80+ thinks and learn. You can never make her change her DNA

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

DrObiHogan:
The first thing I noted in this issue is this woman is not for you man, you just married her a stranger. You courted her for a year and that's not enough to me. The solution will not be a divorce, not now. There's a young child already so I will advice you to call all the people that bore witness to this union to a meeting. Both your parents and her parents with you and the lady present. This issue will be treated and a solution will be obtained but if this process fails to resolve the problem, then its over. A lot of comments here failed to differentiate the expectations of a wife and a woman in a domestic partnership with a man. For the former, a legally married wife, you don't leave because there's no money, that's a huge no. You can only leave because the man is living on austerity when it's a domesti partnership. For your problems to start when you lost your job means that this woman is not your wife irrespective of the cloak of marriage cert she's hiding in but your domestic partner. I will not advice you to start wooing her again, sending flowers, being nice, bullshitting, no this is not time for that. Pray for directions on how to improve financially, take it slow, don't you ever think of cutting corners to get money and sort this out, it will only boomerang and destroy you. Seek out the welfare of your son and be sure he's OK. If the witnesses to this partnership can't resolve the issue, then pls quit. I think the best way to avoid issues like this is to marry your friend, your long time 5-6 years friend.

goosast:
Op please I kneel and beg you FOLLOW this advice 100%

tianshie:
I don't know if you want your wife back because you love her or because her absence from home challenges your idea of who you are as a man. If it is the latter, then put as much urgency into looking for a job as fighting to retrieve her from her parents.

If it is love, then try to reach her and tell her how you're hurting. what you miss about her. How her physical presence completes you. If she doesn't return after that, know you've done your best. Keep the door open, but never stop looking for a job. Good luck.

chinchum:
@Tunagee No matter how little , make sure you send monthly upkeep for your son to your wife via bank transfer for record purposes. Allow for 12 months from the time your wife left your home to see if she retraces her step. IF after October 2019 she is not back, then i don't think she is still interested in you. Never mention the ultimatum to her. Keep the hustle and improve your earnings. By 2020, hopefully things will have improve for you, start a new relationship, and request for a divorce.

foolbuster:
Are you guys feeding properly in your house? Is the economic situation in your house making staying together a bit uncomfortable? Despite her staying staying away against your will, do you think your wife and kid (if you have any) are better off in terms of living standard where they are without you?

If the answers to the above questions are yes, then you should realize you married a materialistic woman. Dont misunderstand me, what i mean is your wife is the type of woman that has low tolerance for inconvenience. She might be a good woman but las las na woman she still be. She needs to be taken care of.
Not every woman can stick with a man through thick and thin. Some men love those kind of women thou. As long as they are representing well as the man of the house financially then they have her loyalty and respect and it kind of drives the man to achieve more because he knows he will be disrespected by her if he fails. but fail and subject her to inconvinience as a result and she starts giving you attitude.

That said. Judging from your account, you cant entirely blame your mother in law because according to you your wife has been feeding her lies. naturally mothers will side with their daughters talkless of when your wife is turning her mother against you.

Now here comes the bitter truth.
Women dont like effeminate men. If i were you. I would stop bitching around. I will call her and tell her that even thou i am down temporarily i will still rise again stronger. I would tell her that her actions now is what would determine her place in my heart when i stand again. I would tell her she should come home now that i need her. Then i would take my mind off her matter and concentrate all my energy on pulling myself back up. If she comes back great. If she doesnt, i'll be pained but atleast i'll have known the type of woman i married.
But whether she comes back or not. I'll stop whining about losing my job and how things were when things were good and i will put all my energy into getting out of my present predicament.

One last thing.
Brother even if you are 56 you are still a young man and can be with any woman yo desire. Your wife at 40 would be lucky to get a decent man.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

Tunagee:
You are right. I was overreacting whenever she offended me, using abusive words;i guess it affected her state of mind.