I had to bring this here maybe I could get some helpful advice here as I am really clueless about what to do about her.

My younger sister is too dull. She is not smart and brilliant at all. She doesn't love studying at all. She is doing so poor in school due to her lackadaisical attitude towards studying. I have tried to talk her and advice her into studying, but she will just looking through it as if she doesn't know what she is reading and all.

During the time she was doing WAEC and NECO, you won't even know she was writting exam. My mum bought textbooks for her but she will end up misplacing them since she won't read them. What she enjoy doing most is just to eat,sleep and all these children story books. She is now fat like Bleep.

I always try to make her study or sometime even force her but there is little I can do for her as I can't put all the book in her head and I am not even always around because I'm in school.

I helped her check her waec result yesterday, and what I saw made me sad. She failed 6 subjects and passed only 3 subjects which she even had only C5 and C6.

I don't know what do to about her because I am tired. I don't want her to gain admission into the university with this kind of spirit because it's not going to help her at all. What can I do for her? How can I help her become more serious and become a better girl. She is 17.

Useful Advices will be highly appreciated.
Mods, please do the needful.

Thanks

petux:
I had to bring this here maybe I could get some helpful advice here as I am really clueless about what to do about her. My younger sister is too dull. She is not smart and brilliant at all. She doesn't love studying at all. She is doing so poor in school due to her lackadaisical attitude towards studying. I have tried to talk her and advice her into studying, but she will just looking through it as if she doesn't know what she is reading and all.
During the time she was doing waec and neco, you won't even know she was writting exam. My mum bought textbooks for her but she will end up misplacing them since she won't read them. What she enjoy doing most is just to eat,sleep and all these children story books. She is now fat like Bleep. I always try to make her study or sometime even force her but there is little I can do for her as I can't put all the book in her head and I am not even always around because I'm in school. I helped her check her waec result yesterday, and what I saw made me sad. She failed 6 subjects and passed only 3 subjects which she even had only C5 and C6. I don't know what do to about her because I am tired. I don't want her to gain admission into the university with this kind of spirit because it's not going to help her at all. What can I do for her? How can I help her become more serious and become a better girl. She is 17.
Useful Advices will be highly appreciated.
Mods, please do the needful.
Thanks

if you try to change the behavior without dealing with the underlying cause,you wont suceed.......it might be your sister might have linked massive pain to studying in her nervous system,or it could be a belief problem........listen to me very carefully bro,people are not their behavior...what am i trying to say?this means the behavior your sister is exhibiting,is due to some underlying causes which even she might not be aware of...............if she isnt willing to change,then you cant do anything to help i'm sorry.............until she links pain to her current behavior,she wont change.......anyway ftc

Go with her to see a counsellor.

RiyadhGoddess:
Op you and your mom or any other person in the family should stop forcing her. Just stop it!!! Instead of forcing her, channel all that energy to find out what her interest are. Like you said she loves reading story book so I am very sure that asides story books there might be some other areas of interest that you guys haven't discovered or she haven't discovered or she knows but afraid to talk about it since all you are after is Study Study Study. Find out what she loves(areas of interest) and use that as a tool to bring out the love to study again. Also please get her a mentor. It could be an educational mentor or counselor or something related trust me they will do the work and bring out the best in her. I know a lot of people whose lives changed after seeing one. They are doing well now...
See Op, I use to have a distant cousin who hates to study. He hates school that how he crossed secondary school I don't even know but his parents must have pushed him by force without taking time to know the reasons behind his lazy and unserious attitudes toward studies. The real deal blew out when he got to Uni. Nobody to bribe in the private Uni he was and his grades were so bad. Bad is an understatement. His parents talked and talked, scold and scold for where no changes. He was sent away from school because of his poor performance. Everyone thought that was the end for him. Some were already saying ko lo ko ise mechanic lols. Not until a man visited them and when he heard what happened, he called my distant cousin and spoke to him. The following week my distant cousin began a few weeks mentorship class and that was how my distant cousin in depth passion, interest was discovered. He use to like computer. He just loved playing around computer. He will pieces and fix it, do one thing one thing with the computer but nobody noticed it. When he was in the Uni before being sent away, the only class he loved and enjoyed was CIT and he was a business admin student imagine.
My distant cousin dropped out of school but today he is an IT Guru working with an oil firm. Them dey fight for am sef... I hope he doesn't get to read this...

Another case is a young lady who the parents pushed her all through secondary school but she had no interest but the parents didn't care because she must just go to school by fire by force. She just knew no jack, nothing but the parents had the money for special centres and all. She got into the Uni, the girl just didn't understand what was happening there. She began to skip classes and even miss school. Of course she lots of carry overs. Her mom will come to school and cry and cry until one day during her parents visit to the school, after the usual cry and cry, she told her parents ENOUGH! Stop it! I do not like School. I don't want to be in school but you all keep forcing me. Her parents were shocked. Her room mates and friends tried talking to her to stop it. Her mom cried more saying people will mock them and it's the work of the enemies. Her mom begged her friends to talk to her but this girl begged her parents to stop wasting their money. She said she wants to be a Top Fashion Designer. That was how this girl dropped out of school to pursue her dreams. Her parents are rich, she was sent out of the country to pursue her dreams after the parents got counseled. Today she's a big Time designer.

So Op or whoever reading that is also experiencing this, find out what your passions or area of interest are. It is a tool to bring out the greatness in you. Op find out what your sister likes or even ask her what she wants to become in life, what are her dreams? Start with that. Then we can then use that as a tool to bring out or unlock the greatness in her.
Lastly pls show her love! Not just you but every member of your family. Do not call her, I repeat, do not call her NEGATIVE names.
Read my signature

God has a destination for you. He has an ultimate plan. He knows where you are right now and where you are going to. He is not just interested in the destination. He is interested in the process and the progress. Oh when God picks you up, He has a destination in mind for you and He wants you to be there.
Good Morning FAM. I wish you a Blessed Day Ahead.

*Shile*

Op this person has answered all you seek.

Okay, firstly cool it with all the advice for a bit. Now, have you tried talking to this girl about what she's actually interested in? Like an actual, lively discussion about her interests and goals. Just talk to her about what she's interested in, what she feels like doing and also try asking her why she's unable to study properly. Is school boring to her, does she lose concentration over time, or is it that she forgets everything she reads? Could it be she spends too much time with friends who lack any educational ambition?
Just get to actually know her. While doing this, try to avoid the usual scolding or telling her what to do with her life.
She just failed the external exams so she'll probably be on the defensive or just not even care about what you're trying to say, thinking you're coming with the usual advice. She'll probably have thought a lot about herself. Try to be calm and let her say what she wants to say. Ask her these questions and give us feedback if you can. That's where the foundation of whatever problem may exist is.

Modified: RiyadhGoddess has actually covered everything. Especially the part where she said do not be negative to your sister. She'll probably be beating herself up already, the family joining her to do it won't help matters at all.

So people that have sense are still on nairaland like this
Nice reposnse
Am impressed

Its very easy....either u consult the Oracle to show u guys (family) what her destiny really wanna be....Or you sit her down en ask her what does she wanna do.... sometimes education doesnt worth it

Still trying to understand what you trying to say

futurist369:
if you try to change the behavior without dealing with the underlying cause,you wont suceed.......it might be your sister might have linked massive pain to studying in her nervous system,or it could be a belief problem........listen to me very carefully bro,people are not their behavior...what am i trying to say?this means the behavior your sister is exhibiting,is due to some underlying causes which even she might not be aware of...............if she isnt willing to change,then you cant do anything to help i'm sorry.............until she links pain to her current behavior,she wont change.......anyway ftc

petux:
I had to bring this here maybe I could get some helpful advice here as I am really clueless about what to do about her. My younger sister is too dull. She is not smart and brilliant at all. She doesn't love studying at all. She is doing so poor in school due to her lackadaisical attitude towards studying. I have tried to talk her and advice her into studying, but she will just looking through it as if she doesn't know what she is reading and all.
During the time she was doing waec and neco, you won't even know she was writting exam. My mum bought textbooks for her but she will end up misplacing them since she won't read them. What she enjoy doing most is just to eat,sleep and all these children story books. She is now fat like Bleep. I always try to make her study or sometime even force her but there is little I can do for her as I can't put all the book in her head and I am not even always around because I'm in school. I helped her check her waec result yesterday, and what I saw made me sad. She failed 6 subjects and passed only 3 subjects which she even had only C5 and C6. I don't know what do to about her because I am tired. I don't want her to gain admission into the university with this kind of spirit because it's not going to help her at all. What can I do for her? How can I help her become more serious and become a better girl. She is 17.
Useful Advices will be highly appreciated.
Mods, please do the needful.
Thanks

she not dull the problem is from your guys ...after presenting school as a place of hell and boredom you then force her to go to school ....that not how shit works man.....and am sure you have been insulting her seriously ....if you want her to change all of you should change how you approach her....girls can be very fragile even words can hurt them beyond repair

dipseacon:
Still trying to understand what you trying to say

he meant like a mild disorder ..that doesnt let you concentrate while studying ...for example ADHD

PORP:
Go with her to see a counsellor.

Psychologist

Let her learn tailoring

U will be surprised how motivated teens become with a tangible reward for effort. Promise her what she really like and see her try to earn it by studying.... It works for most

Please upload her pictures. Let start from there first.

There must be other skills where her interest lies.

jesus of kenya, where r u?

[quote author=RiyadhGoddess post=80766616]Op you and your mom or any other person in the family should stop forcing her. Just stop it!!! Instead of forcing her, channel all that energy to find out what her interest are. Like you said she loves reading story book so I am very sure that asides story books there might be some other areas of interest that you guys haven't discovered or she haven't discovered or she knows but afraid to talk about it since all you are after is Study Study Study. Find out what she loves(areas of interest) and use that as a tool to bring out the love to study again. Also please get her a mentor.

This is one of the most beautiful comment i have read on Nairaland for a while.
Am an Educationatist Please permit me to share this to my Colleagues and Parents.

Lalasticlala i think this is front page worthy

petux:
I had to bring this here maybe I could get some helpful advice here as I am really clueless about what to do about her. My younger sister is too dull. She is not smart and brilliant at all. She doesn't love studying at all. She is doing so poor in school due to her lackadaisical attitude towards studying. I have tried to talk her and advice her into studying, but she will just looking through it as if she doesn't know what she is reading and all.
During the time she was doing waec and neco, you won't even know she was writting exam. My mum bought textbooks for her but she will end up misplacing them since she won't read them. What she enjoy doing most is just to eat,sleep and all these children story books. She is now fat like Bleep. I always try to make her study or sometime even force her but there is little I can do for her as I can't put all the book in her head and I am not even always around because I'm in school. I helped her check her waec result yesterday, and what I saw made me sad. She failed 6 subjects and passed only 3 subjects which she even had only C5 and C6. I don't know what do to about her because I am tired. I don't want her to gain admission into the university with this kind of spirit because it's not going to help her at all. What can I do for her? How can I help her become more serious and become a better girl. She is 17.
Useful Advices will be highly appreciated.
Mods, please do the needful.
Thanks

Education as in attending university, is not everything my brother, you may be surprise that she is good in vocational skills, in advanced countries, when someone is not good educationally, the government opens and sponsors vocational training across board.

Fashion designer, hairdressing, mechanic etc

You can't change people irrespective of the reason. It has to be a determination from the inside on her own parts, if she isn't good in academics she try to learn a skill. Talents pays more.

The gods are wise

RiyadhGoddess:
Op you and your mom or any other person in the family should stop forcing her. Just stop it!!! Instead of forcing her, channel all that energy to find out what her interest are. Like you said she loves reading story book so I am very sure that asides story books there might be some other areas of interest that you guys haven't discovered or she haven't discovered or she knows but afraid to talk about it since all you are after is Study Study Study. Find out what she loves(areas of interest) and use that as a tool to bring out the love to study again. Also please get her a mentor. It could be an educational mentor or counselor or something related trust me they will do the work and bring out the best in her. I know a lot of people whose lives changed after seeing one. They are doing well now...
See Op, I use to have a distant cousin who hates to study. He hates school that how he crossed secondary school I don't even know but his parents must have pushed him by force without taking time to know the reasons behind his lazy and unserious attitudes toward studies. The real deal blew out when he got to Uni. Nobody to bribe in the private Uni he was and his grades were so bad. Bad is an understatement. His parents talked and talked, scold and scold for where no changes. He was sent away from school because of his poor performance. Everyone thought that was the end for him. Some were already saying ko lo ko ise mechanic lols. Not until a man visited them and when he heard what happened, he called my distant cousin and spoke to him. The following week my distant cousin began a few weeks mentorship class and that was how my distant cousin in depth passion, interest was discovered. He use to like computer. He just loved playing around computer. He will pieces and fix it, do one thing one thing with the computer but nobody noticed it. When he was in the Uni before being sent away, the only class he loved and enjoyed was CIT and he was a business admin student imagine.
My distant cousin dropped out of school but today he is an IT Guru working with an oil firm. Them dey fight for am sef... I hope he doesn't get to read this...

Another case is a young lady who the parents pushed her all through secondary school but she had no interest but the parents didn't care because she must just go to school by fire by force. She just knew no jack, nothing but the parents had the money for special centres and all. She got into the Uni, the girl just didn't understand what was happening there. She began to skip classes and even miss school. Of course she lots of carry overs. Her mom will come to school and cry and cry until one day during her parents visit to the school, after the usual cry and cry, she told her parents ENOUGH! Stop it! I do not like School. I don't want to be in school but you all keep forcing me. Her parents were shocked. Her room mates and friends tried talking to her to stop it. Her mom cried more saying people will mock them and it's the work of the enemies. Her mom begged her friends to talk to her but this girl begged her parents to stop wasting their money. She said she wants to be a Top Fashion Designer. That was how this girl dropped out of school to pursue her dreams. Her parents are rich, she was sent out of the country to pursue her dreams after the parents got counseled. Today she's a big Time designer.

So Op or whoever reading that is also experiencing this, find out what your passions or area of interest are. It is a tool to bring out the greatness in you. Op find out what your sister likes or even ask her what she wants to become in life, what are her dreams? Start with that. Then we can then use that as a tool to bring out or unlock the greatness in her.
Lastly pls show her love! Not just you but every member of your family. Do not call her, I repeat, do not call her NEGATIVE names.
Read my signature

God has a destination for you. He has an ultimate plan. He knows where you are right now and where you are going to. He is not just interested in the destination. He is interested in the process and the progress. Oh when God picks you up, He has a destination in mind for you and He wants you to be there.
Good Morning FAM. I wish you a Blessed Day Ahead.

*Shile*

MyVILLAGEpeople:
Please upload her pictures. Let start from there first.

Lol... Kidnapper sighted

Find her area of interest and skill she enjoys most, life is not all about passing exams and scoring A's.
If she is exposed to an activity she loves it will also rekindle her interest in academics without compulsion from anyone

She needs belle. Bring her let us release wisdom into her.

sorry op but ur sister dey collect big gbola

Eyyya. That's bad. Pls enroll her in skill

Ha ur sister!

Give me her number


This school thing is not for everybody expecially here in nigeria tha girl might be nursing a very dangerous skill or talents lets allow people to do what they love pls

Look out for what triggers her, since you said eat and sleep....

Intercontinental Chefs earn big... with such grade and you really forcing her, she would end up a mediocre in school and the certificate eventually pointless if not useless.