genq:



Most women of these days are nothing but beasts. You guys wanna be equal right? Then you can equally get an ass whooping just like any other dude who tries to disrespect me. Miss me with that bullsh***.
OP has no dignity or self respect.

Gloriagee:
He does have dignity, I think. He's just completely stunned by it all. He's the calculating kind - the type that doesn't act till the proverbial straw touches the camel's back. My prayer is that he doesn't snap one day and lose it all.

@op - marriage counselling and yeah that DNA

genq:



You are mad for this stupid advice. He should be calm and amend?

I swear you will marry a woman who will reduce you to trash in your own house. You will spend hours licking that putrid hole in between her legs just to satisfy her and she will still cheat on you and bring home b@stards for you to raise. She will continually insult you and your entire lineage and you will be adviced to amend and remain calm.

I wish you all the best bro. Simping ain't easy.

GrabHisBalls:
I don't pity some of you when you end up with bad wives. This your wife is everything bad. No character, no home training, no respect for elders, and you want to say you didn't notice any of these while dating even if she's the best pretender in town.

Marriage is for better, for worse. Carry your cross.

madridguy:
This is not a battle field. Make your point and respect others view of point.

genq:


Dude don't try it. Being a simp apologist will always backfire. Those who see evil and sit back without speaking up are just as evil as the perpetrators.

Yes, I know I may come off harsh in my tone but it's because of how deeply passionate I am about this matter.

Society has programmed men to be weak and subject to the fluctuating emotions of women. Don't get me wrong, I love and respect beautiful women who are smart and hardworking (and there are still lots of them around)

But most women we see in this generation lack grace and true inner beauty. Men are getting weaker by the day. The true essence of masculinity is lost and if we continue like this, society will plummet into ... only God knows.

sassysure:
I wonder why u said only experienced married men.

Some men are not married yet has more experience in marriage matter than the married ones.
Also why did u exclude women?

Anyway,

I stopped reading at a point.

Ur wife has gotten what she worked for, a ring on her hand.
When I saw, she cook for me, do this and that, I knew she is out to hook up by any means necessary.
She never did hate her ex remember?
Just that the guy don't want to settle down so it's possible She was still attached to him emotionally. Okafor's law may have played out significantly and she got pregnant, pressured u into marriage. Marriage after two yrs of graduation cos she was pregnant and u did wedding of 2 million with borrowed funds.whom were u trying to impress?
What manner of man are u?

Don't u have a voice?
What makes you the man of the house if u can't stamp your authority?
I am not saying beat or abuse her but talk like the head of ur family. Let ur wife stop trampling on your manhood.
Her excuse that her ex called her first is extremely childish.
So u guys still keep in touch with ex's?
There is a reason why they are called ex. Unless you are colleagues, u guys don't have anything in common.
That was where u would have scolded her seriously still keeping in touch with her ex, yet u are apologising.
What are u apologising for. U went to work. Birthdays will continue coming. Is she a kid that put so much meaning into birthday?
Why the fuss?
She has never stopped her relationship with her ex and the guy is ok as long as she dey open her leg.
Now, small soft words from him and she is admitting she never liked ur people.
Pls do give her the needed break.
Don't disturb her during the break and also make sure u provide for the kid, go and see ur child. As her only general things concerning ur kid and go ur way.
If u ignore her( u give her so much attention),she will be confused and start seeking u out.
If she eventually come back for talk, read her the riot act.
The relationship is still early and it's better this early than late.

It's hard but start seeing urself as a single man once again.

If u have the money, do a DNA test to be sure u are not training another man's child.

What a woman!
Her self entitlement is too much and she successfully played u.

U were a fool in love when all the signs are there.
Why will she insult your people? What did they do to her?
Why didn't u call her to order?
Are u even a man?

Some ex will do anything to destabilise ur marriage especially guys if u give them the chance. And they will end up not marrying u.
If ur woman had loved u, she will tell you that her ex is contacting her.
I so much hate pretenders.

I'm a lady but I will say that we naija ladies are mostly pretenders.
The reason why it was said that more than 50% of the first child don't normally belong to the husband. (Na DNA specialist for Lagos talk am o)
Mtcheew

sassysure:
I wonder why u said only experienced married men.

Some men are not married yet has more experience in marriage matter than the married ones.
Also why did u exclude women?

Anyway,

I stopped reading at a point.

Ur wife has gotten what she worked for, a ring on her hand.
When I saw, she cook for me, do this and that, I knew she is out to hook up by any means necessary.
She never did hate her ex remember?
Just that the guy don't want to settle down so it's possible She was still attached to him emotionally. Okafor's law may have played out significantly and she got pregnant, pressured u into marriage. Marriage after two yrs of graduation cos she was pregnant and u did wedding of 2 million with borrowed funds.whom were u trying to impress?
What manner of man are u?

Don't u have a voice?
What makes you the man of the house if u can't stamp your authority?
I am not saying beat or abuse her but talk like the head of ur family. Let ur wife stop trampling on your manhood.
Her excuse that her ex called her first is extremely childish.
So u guys still keep in touch with ex's?
There is a reason why they are called ex. Unless you are colleagues, u guys don't have anything in common.
That was where u would have scolded her seriously still keeping in touch with her ex, yet u are apologising.
What are u apologising for. U went to work. Birthdays will continue coming. Is she a kid that put so much meaning into birthday?
Why the fuss?
She has never stopped her relationship with her ex and the guy is ok as long as she dey open her leg.
Now, small soft words from him and she is admitting she never liked ur people.
Pls do give her the needed break.
Don't disturb her during the break and also make sure u provide for the kid, go and see ur child. As her only general things concerning ur kid and go ur way.
If u ignore her( u give her so much attention),she will be confused and start seeking u out.
If she eventually come back for talk, read her the riot act.
The relationship is still early and it's better this early than late.

It's hard but start seeing urself as a single man once again.

If u have the money, do a DNA test to be sure u are not training another man's child.

What a woman!
Her self entitlement is too much and she successfully played u.

U were a fool in love when all the signs are there.
Why will she insult your people? What did they do to her?
Why didn't u call her to order?
Are u even a man?

Some ex will do anything to destabilise ur marriage especially guys if u give them the chance. And they will end up not marrying u.
If ur woman had loved u, she will tell you that her ex is contacting her.
I so much hate pretenders.

I'm a lady but I will say that we naija ladies are mostly pretenders.
The reason why it was said that more than 50% of the first child don't normally belong to the husband. (Na DNA specialist for Lagos talk am o)
Mtcheew

genq:



You are mad for this stupid advice. He should be calm and amend?

I swear you will marry a woman who will reduce you to trash in your own house. You will spend hours licking that putrid hole in between her legs just to satisfy her and she will still cheat on you and bring home b@stards for you to raise. She will continually insult you and your entire lineage and you will be adviced to amend and remain calm.

I wish you all the best bro. Simping ain't easy.

sassysure:
I wonder why u said only experienced married men.

Some men are not married yet has more experience in marriage matter than the married ones.
Also why did u exclude women?

Anyway,

I stopped reading at a point.

Ur wife has gotten what she worked for, a ring on her hand.
When I saw, she cook for me, do this and that, I knew she is out to hook up by any means necessary.
She never did hate her ex remember?
Just that the guy don't want to settle down so it's possible She was still attached to him emotionally. Okafor's law may have played out significantly and she got pregnant, pressured u into marriage. Marriage after two yrs of graduation cos she was pregnant and u did wedding of 2 million with borrowed funds.whom were u trying to impress?
What manner of man are u?

Don't u have a voice?
What makes you the man of the house if u can't stamp your authority?
I am not saying beat or abuse her but talk like the head of ur family. Let ur wife stop trampling on your manhood.
Her excuse that her ex called her first is extremely childish.
So u guys still keep in touch with ex's?
There is a reason why they are called ex. Unless you are colleagues, u guys don't have anything in common.
That was where u would have scolded her seriously still keeping in touch with her ex, yet u are apologising.
What are u apologising for. U went to work. Birthdays will continue coming. Is she a kid that put so much meaning into birthday?
Why the fuss?
She has never stopped her relationship with her ex and the guy is ok as long as she dey open her leg.
Now, small soft words from him and she is admitting she never liked ur people.
Pls do give her the needed break.
Don't disturb her during the break and also make sure u provide for the kid, go and see ur child. As her only general things concerning ur kid and go ur way.
If u ignore her( u give her so much attention),she will be confused and start seeking u out.
If she eventually come back for talk, read her the riot act.
The relationship is still early and it's better this early than late.

It's hard but start seeing urself as a single man once again.

If u have the money, do a DNA test to be sure u are not training another man's child.

What a woman!
Her self entitlement is too much and she successfully played u.

U were a fool in love when all the signs are there.
Why will she insult your people? What did they do to her?
Why didn't u call her to order?
Are u even a man?

Some ex will do anything to destabilise ur marriage especially guys if u give them the chance. And they will end up not marrying u.
If ur woman had loved u, she will tell you that her ex is contacting her.
I so much hate pretenders.

I'm a lady but I will say that we naija ladies are mostly pretenders.
The reason why it was said that more than 50% of the first child don't normally belong to the husband. (Na DNA specialist for Lagos talk am o)
Mtcheew

madridguy:
You're too harsh madam.

She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc

zimunachimdi:
Kai! If what you wrote up there is true, then I am seriously weeping for you.

You simply lack COMMAND and CONTROL. In other words,you are FINISHED!

genq:


Dude don't try it. Being a simp apologist will always backfire. Those who see evil and sit back without speaking up are just as evil as the perpetrators.

Yes, I know I may come off harsh in my tone but it's because of how deeply passionate I am about this matter.

Society has programmed men to be weak and subject to the fluctuating emotions of women. Don't get me wrong, I love and respect beautiful women who are smart and hardworking (and there are still lots of them around)

But most women we see in this generation lack grace and true inner beauty. Men are getting weaker by the day. The true essence of masculinity is lost and if we continue like this, society will plummet into ... only God knows.

lilmax:
well I didn't read your story

but the comments here says you're foolish


I believe those comments

lilmax:
well I didn't read your story

but the comments here says you're foolish


I believe those comments

Donald3d:
Marriage hmmm....
As I always say every problem(s) has a solution .
My advice would have been different if you were not married yet.

And from your story she was "perfect", cooks, financial supports and all that before marriage. I am also assuming there was also no sign of insults to you or your family before marriage....

The first sign of trouble(according to you) was the birthday issue, after that multiple issues followed.

There are two possible sides to this, she is either a pretender(faking being good at the beginning) or she changed .
If she was faking her good character, to be honest, its almost impossible to resolve this.
If she changed, there is a chance things can be fixed, thankfully, you are showing signs of willingness to fix things.
The next thing to do is to find the root cause of what the issue is.


Please do not listen to people trying to make you violent . As much as they deceive themselves into thinking they are " Alpha Males " , as I always say, a true "Alpha Male" is one who knows how to neutralize situations before they escalate, who knows how to earn respect even with silence, who knows when to be tough and when to act like a fool (yes !, like a fool !), you have no idea the things you can learn and the problems you can avert just by keeping quiet and not reacting. Also a true Alpha Male knows how to Listen !!....He handles issues with wisdom and logic, he understands how to create a balance

No matter how this is viewed, she was/is wrong on all levels to be disrespectful to you and your family. But you are in this already, it can be fixed (if you both are willing to) . Pause your travel plans for now .And remind yourself about this, a good number of women act "emotionally" and not "logically", so you should be the bigger person here. Remember this advice is coming under the "impression" that she was not pretending to be a good woman and she actually just "changed", I am also giving this advice under the notion that this is not a case of pre/postpartum disorder/condition.

Do you remember this statement :



From all you wrote, you are a good man, but I want you to please Listen better, pay more attention. Take her out, buy her gifts, send her romantic text messages, leave hidden notes around the house to make her feel appreciated and wanted, ask her how her day went and be interested in her daily activities, even ask her how she prefers sex !, create time for her and remember to [b]Listen attentively to every single verbal and non verbal message she sends across[/b] ......The gifts and outing doesn't have to be very expensive(it can if you can afford it), just show you care, buying her something she loves as frequently as you can. I used to know a lady that would be swept off her feet when you buy her this chewable chocolate called Parago, it used to cost just #10 Naira. I know it sounds crazy but that's what she loved. What does your wife love Sir ?. What sweeps her off her feet ?

Now to the most important questions, most men always fail to ask their wives . Have you asked her "Baby what do you want , what do you need, is there anything I am doing wrong, is there anything you want more of, is there anything you would like me to improve on". Sit her down and in a calm way ask her these questions, you would be very shocked at the replies you would get.

The thing about marriage is, sometimes we think we are getting it all right and we are perfect, but from our partners perspective, there is something we are not doing right, or they just probably misunderstand us. Asking her the questions above, would bring to light the things you probably need to amend and also bring to light the things she is misunderstanding that you need to clarify to her.

Remember, speak softly and act wisely while you do this, get her in a good mood, probably by buying things she likes.

Again, I am not justifying her actions, if she changed and she was not pretending to be good at the beginning, something might have caused her to change, and she is just handling it the best way she feels it can be handled, although badly.

Dear husbands and wives, if your spouse is doing something you don't like or not acting or living up to your expectation, please stop trying to pass non-verbal messages. People don't talk and communicate anymore !!! why !!!. Tell them how you feel !, call them aside, have a heart to heart talk with them about what you don't like instead of going on a rampage and acting up !!. Above all learn to be tolerant too, you don't have to react to everything, especially the things your spouse is not directly responsible for(your mother did this, your sister did this).

Let's all act in wisdom please.Remember that love and marriage cannot work without massive amount of commitment, sacrifice and selflessness....At one point or the other, you or your spouse would have to be the "fool", the "subdued", the "sacrificial lamb" to make things work. Be selfless.

Another important thing is boundaries, once you are married or committed to someone, understand that ex partners have to be eliminated in all possible ways from the picture.Make this known to your spouse and have an agreement on it

And OP remember to pray too, for God to touch her heart(Proverbs 21 vs 1), but also remember that just praying without acting is useless.

I pray your marriage is restored.

NB:I purposely left the child and suspected infidelity issues out, since you said you now trust her and she trusts you.

sassysure:
I wonder why u said only experienced married men.

Some men are not married yet has more experience in marriage matter than the married ones.
Also why did u exclude women?

Anyway,

I stopped reading at a point.

Ur wife has gotten what she worked for, a ring on her hand.
When I saw, she cook for me, do this and that, I knew she is out to hook up by any means necessary.
She never did hate her ex remember?
Just that the guy don't want to settle down so it's possible She was still attached to him emotionally. Okafor's law may have played out significantly and she got pregnant, pressured u into marriage. Marriage after two yrs of graduation cos she was pregnant and u did wedding of 2 million with borrowed funds.whom were u trying to impress?
What manner of man are u?

Don't u have a voice?
What makes you the man of the house if u can't stamp your authority?
I am not saying beat or abuse her but talk like the head of ur family. Let ur wife stop trampling on your manhood.
Her excuse that her ex called her first is extremely childish.
So u guys still keep in touch with ex's?
There is a reason why they are called ex. Unless you are colleagues, u guys don't have anything in common.
That was where u would have scolded her seriously still keeping in touch with her ex, yet u are apologising.
What are u apologising for. U went to work. Birthdays will continue coming. Is she a kid that put so much meaning into birthday?
Why the fuss?
She has never stopped her relationship with her ex and the guy is ok as long as she dey open her leg.
Now, small soft words from him and she is admitting she never liked ur people.
Pls do give her the needed break.
Don't disturb her during the break and also make sure u provide for the kid, go and see ur child. As her only general things concerning ur kid and go ur way.
If u ignore her( u give her so much attention),she will be confused and start seeking u out.
If she eventually come back for talk, read her the riot act.
The relationship is still early and it's better this early than late.

It's hard but start seeing urself as a single man once again.

If u have the money, do a DNA test to be sure u are not training another man's child.

What a woman!
Her self entitlement is too much and she successfully played u.

U were a fool in love when all the signs are there.
Why will she insult your people? What did they do to her?
Why didn't u call her to order?
Are u even a man?

Some ex will do anything to destabilise ur marriage especially guys if u give them the chance. And they will end up not marrying u.
If ur woman had loved u, she will tell you that her ex is contacting her.
I so much hate pretenders.

I'm a lady but I will say that we naija ladies are mostly pretenders.
The reason why it was said that more than 50% of the first child don't normally belong to the husband. (Na DNA specialist for Lagos talk am o)
Mtcheew