₦airaland Forum

Bro...do a DNA test. Drop her from your petition. She has not changed... just that you are now seeing her true colors. If she can behave like that at home.... how would she in the US?... when she would have the law on her side? If you know what's good for yourself... don't ever step foot in the US with her... your life will be doomed.
My advice.... divorce her...let her officially rejoin her ex.

Jacinthe:
No, the only fool here is YOU.

And you're a big one at that.

U and the OP wife, na the sam mama born una two

Firstly, go for DNA test to confirm whether the child is urs or not,cuz I fink ur wife still had something with her else....
Don't u ever think of taking her with u in US (women have right there plenty ) cuz she will definitely destroy u..... If I were u just end the marriage cuz its not working. That lady will kill u one day.

Mizwisdom:
No perfect marriage, you've known your wife before now, learn to deal with your differences and keep your lives off social media

If this is all you have to say then shame on you. You must be her type

Una de scare people like me from marriage oooo

AwkaetitiBabe:
Lol.... @Op your wife won't change when you get to US, unless you become very financially successful. How many women have you actually seen insulting or shaming a rich man they are dependent on?

So all these men catching cruise on a lady's money, be guided.

Nwuyem!

I really understand what u maybe going thru now, as i speak to u am in toronto in canada, i leave in new jersey in america, but i was transfer from my work to here in canada just 3month ago. My advice for u about ur wife is to think very well before u bring her down to america, seventy percent of good wife from nigeria came to america change to bad woman, not to talk of ur wife that have been behaving bad to u from nigeria. I will advice u to come first and see what is going on ur self. If u need any advice i will give u my #

I am deeply sorry for you bro.please find a way to trash it out if possible for the sake of the child involved(after DNA test,even if u go borrow money do am).no matter what the outcome may be after trashing it out,don’t ever think of taking her to US with you for now.she may need to be correct in a hard way bro.best wishes

Logobenz2:
Woman insult your family in your presence you no jam am till she collapse
Bros you dey fall hand o
Please no one should advise this kind of weak man.spits!
Who wouldn't know what to do at this point?some people dey born sha
Just look at someone's son.e be like na pap den use raise you.
Your mom comes to your own house and your wife not only mistreated her but tried to insult her in your presence?you know why?she knows you are a weak man.
That was your golden opportunity to teach her a bitter lesson that will be justified anywhere in Nigeria.
I wonder what she will do to you if you take her to the US.
Better cancel all plans of that visa,withdraw the application,divorce that woman whether the child is yours or Not,do not care!just be sending upkeep money for the child and get yourself another woman.
Jesus Christ!

This is the best advice, a woman that Lacks respect does not deserve to remain a wife. She might end up killing the man if this situation does not change for better. I hate nagging and disrespectful women. God knows I can't stand one for a week, let alone having her as a wife.

My guy! You need to be a Man and stand for your right as husband! First, call her or take her out to discuss what you have been observing and pour your feeling out for her since she is your wife, if no changes.... Go for DNA of that your baby... I think she has misbehaved during her birthday which has made her to have guilty mind since... If no changes from her you need to take firm decision as Man...and let her know you are the head...but don't beat her...

VULCAN:
And you say this because you have personally confirmed that there are no "black" women shey?

Nope, I say this because there are 3 sides of every story.

What we've read here is 1 of 3 and I'm not going to base my judgement on such an uneven ratio.

obiekunie2:
Nwuyem!

Eziokwu

Sammiel:
This is the best advice, a woman that Lacks respect does not deserve to remain a wife. She might end up killing the man if this situation does not change for better. I hate nagging and disrespectful women. God knows I can't stand one for a week, let alone having her as a wife.

But why wasn't she disrespectful when they were dating? Pretence? She must be very good at hiding her true colors..

/

sholikay:
well i'm not married, but from what you typed,it seems she has given you clue of what you are doing to her,which is prompting her to act that way...that's the issue of not giving her enough attention, care and love...some ladies might be so funny and crazy when you tend to deny them some things..she knew she is married now and since she can't cheat on you,due to conscience or whatever. she expected you to be giving her all she needs,irrespective of your busy schedule... why not deal with that first by planning your time with her,then see if she will change... I believe she can be easily manipulated by you,since she is not giving you a silent and cold treatment.... her constant nagging shows she needs you to amend immediately... women can be so funny...
note:I'm currently in such with my fiancee presently.. due to my NYSC posting we have been on this LDR thing for now,and I have not really had time for her like before..we hardly see,and she complains,nags at my little mistakes.but when I started shifting my attention back to her,her head is calming back a bit....



just be calm and amend...she is your wife now and not a fiancee or girlfriend...

You must be high on Oshogbo weed. I have been married for 14years now. And I glorify God over my marriage. Don't give this kind of advice next time because you are absolutely wrong 200%.
I don't have any advice for the OP because he needs brain formatting ASAP.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Eziokwu

Pastor anyi siri na obu gi ji o'bim!

biko bia ka anyi ga fu pastor'm!

Your finished as soon as she gets to the united states..................never marry in america and live with a woman.........i live in america...

Everybody has given you good advice.

With all you've said, it seems your wife is a narcissist....That's the worst kind of woman to be married to. And unless God changes her heart, things will only get worse.

pls and pls, whatever you do, DON'T MIGRATE TO THE U.S. WITH YOUR WIFE. You think it's bad now, when you take her to America, you will experience real hell on earth.

sassysure, you must be a very intelligent woman ... exceptionally intelligent, I must say

Kudos for putting it so eloquently. I would've given you a pat on the back if you were here. I love great minds!!!


O pari

sassysure:
I wonder why u said only experienced married men.

Some men are not married yet has more experience in marriage matter than the married ones.
Also why did u exclude women?

Anyway,

I stopped reading at a point.

Ur wife has gotten what she worked for, a ring on her hand.
When I saw, she cook for me, do this and that, I knew she is out to hook up by any means necessary.
She never did hate her ex remember?
Just that the guy don't want to settle down so it's possible She was still attached to him emotionally. Okafor's law may have played out significantly and she got pregnant, pressured u into marriage. Marriage after two yrs of graduation cos she was pregnant and u did wedding of 2 million with borrowed funds.whom were u trying to impress?
What manner of man are u?

Don't u have a voice?
What makes you the man of the house if u can't stamp your authority?
I am not saying beat or abuse her but talk like the head of ur family. Let ur wife stop trampling on your manhood.
Her excuse that her ex called her first is extremely childish.
So u guys still keep in touch with ex's?
There is a reason why they are called ex. Unless you are colleagues, u guys don't have anything in common.
That was where u would have scolded her seriously still keeping in touch with her ex, yet u are apologising.
What are u apologising for. U went to work. Birthdays will continue coming. Is she a kid that put so much meaning into birthday?
Why the fuss?
She has never stopped her relationship with her ex and the guy is ok as long as she dey open her leg.
Now, small soft words from him and she is admitting she never liked ur people.
Pls do give her the needed break.
Don't disturb her during the break and also make sure u provide for the kid, go and see ur child. As her only general things concerning ur kid and go ur way.
If u ignore her( u give her so much attention),she will be confused and start seeking u out.
If she eventually come back for talk, read her the riot act.
The relationship is still early and it's better this early than late.

It's hard but start seeing urself as a single man once again.

If u have the money, do a DNA test to be sure u are not training another man's child.

What a woman!
Her self entitlement is too much and she successfully played u.

U were a fool in love when all the signs are there.
Why will she insult your people? What did they do to her?
Why didn't u call her to order?
Are u even a man?

Some ex will do anything to destabilise ur marriage especially guys if u give them the chance. And they will end up not marrying u.
If ur woman had loved u, she will tell you that her ex is contacting her.
I so much hate pretenders.

I'm a lady but I will say that we naija ladies are mostly pretenders.
The reason why it was said that more than 50% of the first child don't normally belong to the husband. (Na DNA specialist for Lagos talk am o)
Mtcheew

1- i doubt if dat child is urs..
2- there's definitely another man involved..
3- i repeat nd i repeat again, if u love urself DO NOT take her to the US, don't say because u av one child she will then tie u down,... Better to even forfeit the trip, stay here, hussle nd hope to get another opportunity of leaving the country without them.

SocialJustice:
You're just wasting quality advise. This OP is a woman wrapper, he won't have the courage to do anything. How can your gf be seeing her ex again, got pregnant and brought the baby to him and he foolishly rushed a marriage. By the time they get to USA the girl will leave him, take the baby away and probably bring the baby's dad to the USA.

That birthday was just an excuse for her to justify fucking her ex. They've been fucking long before the issues started and this OP has been a mumu for so long the girl is playing him at the worst level.

The OP is the GOAT when it comes to foolishness . Imagine apologising to the wife for linking up with the ex o. Like what type of men do they breed this days. No street OT no sense. The moment the ex came into play was the end.
Anonymus010 hold your two ears and read this guy''s post

Anonymous010 , you're too soft. Go for a DNA, then divorce her if confirmed.


You take too many sh1t!

obiekunie2:
Pastor anyi siri na obu gi ji o'bim!

biko bia ka anyi ga fu pastor'm!

Okwa fake pastor.

Anonymus010:
I Need The Advice Of Experienced Married Men

NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.

Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.

Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.

Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school.

Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her).

After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry.

Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.

Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid.

Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......

THE PROBLEM:

2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking.

After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.

The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).

I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.

Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.

Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.

Guy don't do it..let her go.. she is no longer in Love with you..Dont bring her to the US..she will divorce you and strip you.i guarantee you..you know the system empowers women to do shiit to men.. so get ready to receive shiit if you bring her along ..i tell you as one having first hand experience of what obtains here in the USA/Canada

Let her go....you don't need all that B.S in your life..I strongly suspect her ex is the father of that child.Make sure you secretly do a DNA test before any further step..they say these hoes ain't loyal..irs more than the truth..

sholikay:
well i'm not married, but from what you typed,it seems she has given you clue of what you are doing to her,which is prompting her to act that way...that's the issue of not giving her enough attention, care and love...some ladies might be so funny and crazy when you tend to deny them some things..she knew she is married now and since she can't cheat on you,due to conscience or whatever. she expected you to be giving her all she needs,irrespective of your busy schedule... why not deal with that first by planning your time with her,then see if she will change... I believe she can be easily manipulated by you,since she is not giving you a silent and cold treatment.... her constant nagging shows she needs you to amend immediately... women can be so funny...
note:I'm currently in such with my fiancee presently.. due to my NYSC posting we have been on this LDR thing for now,and I have not really had time for her like before..we hardly see,and she complains,nags at my little mistakes.but when I started shifting my attention back to her,her head is calming back a bit....



just be calm and amend...she is your wife now and not a fiancee or girlfriend...

op kindly consider this advise, but still do DNA test to avoid stories

Icon79:
sassysure, you must be a very intelligent woman ... exceptionally intelligent, I must say

Kudos for putting it so eloquently. I would've given you a pat on the back if you were. I love great minds!!!


O pari

Which pat on the back eh?
Who that one EPP?
I know what you really meant...

karika2018:
Your finished as soon as she gets to the united states..................never marry in america and live with a woman.........i live in america...

I don't understand. Do u think it's all ladies that will desert their husband when the d states?

Carry your cross, bro. You married a non-virgin despite how many times we don warn una!

Bro u should have marry that first girl, she is the best for u, this one na another man's wife na. u will soon know.

Logobenz2:
Woman insult your family in your presence you no jam am till she collapse
Bros you dey fall hand o
Please no one should advise this kind of weak man.spits!
Who wouldn't know what to do at this point?some people dey born sha
Just look at someone's son.e be like na pap den use raise you.
Your mom comes to your own house and your wife not only mistreated her but tried to insult her in your presence?you know why?she knows you are a weak man.
That was your golden opportunity to teach her a bitter lesson that will be justified anywhere in Nigeria.
I wonder what she will do to you if you take her to the US.
Better cancel all plans of that visa,withdraw the application,divorce that woman whether the child is yours or Not,do not care!just be sending upkeep money for the child and get yourself another woman.
Jesus Christ!

OP. if you are not a stupid weak man.. you will do as this advise has stated.Over to you?

fortune120:
I'm here to read comment

So you need to announce that to the world? Or will havoc struck if you don't comment?? Mtcheeeeww

Go for a DNA to confirm the paternity of the child and secondly try to confirm if she's having any fling with her ex before u come to conclusion. God bless u with wisdom to sort itself out of this mess