BeeJay, the husband of my good friend, Alero left home since August 11, he hasn't return since then. His phone is switched off while all means of communicating with him has been severed. His elder brother was able to trace him to the house of one of his former colleagues who is a single mother of one, they were colleagues while BeeJay was still working in a commercial bank. It was one of the drivers in the bank who helped the elder brother to locate him yesterday. I went in company with his brother, elder sister and her husband to see him this afternoon and he explained that he is tired of living with his wife who has been making life unbearable for him since he lost his bank job earlier this year. His elder sister told us that she has had to help in settling issues between them recently. His decision sounds strange, how can he relocate to another lady's house simply because he had issues with his wife? We didn't see the other lady though. All effort to explain things to him hasn't yield any result, he is adamant on not returning home. He is still there. His wife is now planning to get the single mother arrested but we pleaded with her to stay action and let's see if we can prevail on him first. Please house, is the option of getting someone arrested a good one or we should continue to find ways of resolving the issue, thank you all.

Arrest ke?

mamajohn:
BeeJay, the husband of my good friend, Alero left home since August 11, he hasn't return since then. His phone is switched off while all means of communicating with him has been severed. His elder brother was able to trace him to the house of one of his former colleagues who is a single mother of one, they were colleagues while BeeJay was still working in a commercial bank. It was one of the drivers in the bank who helped the elder brother to locate him yesterday. I went in company with his brother, elder sister and her husband to see him this afternoon and he explained that he is tired of living with his wife who has been making life unbearable for him since he lost his bank job earlier this year. His elder sister told us that she has had to help in settling issues between them recently. His decision sounds strange, how can he relocate to another lady's house simply because he had issues with his wife? We didn't see the other lady though. All effort to explain things to him hasn't yield any result, he is adamant on not returning home. He is still there. His wife is now planning to get the single mother arrested but we pleaded with her to stay action and let's see if we can prevail on him first. Please house, is the option of getting someone arrested a good one or we should continue to find ways of resolving the issue, thank you all.

Unless the single mother kidnapped him, she didn’t commit a crime. Only hungry, bribe fed policemen would arrest her. The man is an adult and has chosen to leave his wife. Instead of pleading with the wife to not harass the single mom, you should leave husband and wife to solve it on their own. If they can’t resolve it, everyone should mind their own business. Maybe his eyes “ saw some things “ and maybe not.

If a man does not want you, respect yourself, have some dignity and let him go. If you need child support from him, follow due process to get that.

Oh dear!

There are obviously unresolved issues between the couple and this is the man’s way of handling things.

For an amicable resolution I advice they give a few days or weeks and have each party itemise and decide the next steps ie are our issues worth resolving?! Especially with the hard and decisive stance the man has taken.

A sit down with an intervention committee ie family members would be next. At this meeting they will look at or itemise the remote causes of the conflict, ponder on possible resolutions and leave with an action plan on the way forward or an amicable split up.

It is what it is, the Mrs should brace up! Cry privately and move onto the next level or position with a dry eye and clear head.

Good luck to Mrs Alero and mr husband!

Arrest ?
He was not kidnapped na

Leave him alone please. As much as its good to always try to resolve things, some things are best left unresolved.
As much as I am not in support of his decision, see what he said "he is tired of living with his wife who has been making life unbearable for him since he lost his bank job earlier this year"....
Sometimes people are just there for you when you have everything going well for you, and turn "crazy" when things go south.
Some women are very good at doing this, frustrating and abusing your husband who has lost his job does not help him get a new one, instead encourage him, motivate him, tell him everything would be fine, that way he would be encouraged to get another job and get back on his feet.Never underestimate the potential of a man who constantly gets encouragement from his wife.

The society at large expect men to be strong always, men have feelings too, they get depressed too, they cry too, they feel bad about situations too, they have emotions too, they feel sadness too....No reasonable man would be happy about his joblessness or his inability to cater for his family, making life unbearable for him would only make it worse.

Her wanting to arrest the woman, gives an inkling on the type of woman she is.
Again, I am not in support of the man's decision, but they should both fix their faults, especially the wife.

Arrest is not an option...some women lacks the wisdom to encourage their husbands when facing life challenges...but have the understanding of the word"infidel"..but 4gotten when he paid rents,fees,bills and others...lastly,women should stop listening to friends that says "if na me i no go gree"...this is the problem with most marriages.

Donald3d:
Arrest ?
He was not kidnapped na

Leave him alone please. As much as its good to always good to try to resolve things, some things are best left unresolved.
As much as I am not in support of his decision, see what he said "he is tired of living with his wife who has been making life unbearable for him since he lost his bank job earlier this year"....
Sometimes people are just there for you when you have everything going well for you, and turn "crazy" when things go south.
Some women are very good at doing this, frustrating and abusing your husband who has lost his job does not help him get a new one, instead encourage him, motivate him, tell him everything would be fine, that way he would be encouraged to get another job and get back on his feet.Never underestimate the potential of a man who constantly gets encouragement from his wife.

The society at large expect men to be strong always, men have feelings too, they get depressed too, they cry too, the feel bad about situations too, they have emotions too, they feel sadness too....No reasonable man would be happy about his joblessness or his inability to cater for his family, making life unbearable for him would only make it worse.

Her wanting to arrest the woman, gives an inkling on the type of woman she is.
Again, I am not in support of the man's decision, but they should both fix their faults, especially the wife.

In fact you don close the thread.

It is well...

Well said @ Donald3d too much wisdom
Sometimes us women forget men are emotional beings too because they express their emotions differently from ours. Women are often verbal while men tend to do otherwise.
Arresting the mistress will complicate issues. She can never get her husband back that way.
I think she should change her behavior, try to reason with the man and convince him she has truly changed, get people he respect to talk to him, and pray he gets a change of heart

His wife is now planning to get the single mother arrested

how does this make any sense?

seems he was kidnapped?


and please you should tell the man he is a weak fool

how can a man leave his house because of a mere woman?

I pity Nigerian women having to deal with these little boys calling themselves men. So b|c you're having issues w| your wife regarding the loss of your job, the next thing is to move into another woman's home?

The single mother too should be ashamed of herself for allowing a married man [she knows he's married!] to be living w| her.

Will she be arresting her for kidnapping ni abi what?

The wife should just continue to hold her side o. Her contention should be about getting him to continue to support the house while in his exile. Very funny tale!

mamajohn:
BeeJay, the husband of my good friend, Alero left home since August 11, he hasn't return since then. His phone is switched off while all means of communicating with him has been severed. His elder brother was able to trace him to the house of one of his former colleagues who is a single mother of one, they were colleagues while BeeJay was still working in a commercial bank. It was one of the drivers in the bank who helped the elder brother to locate him yesterday. I went in company with his brother, elder sister and her husband to see him this afternoon and he explained that he is tired of living with his wife who has been making life unbearable for him since he lost his bank job earlier this year. His elder sister told us that she has had to help in settling issues between them recently. His decision sounds strange, how can he relocate to another lady's house simply because he had issues with his wife? We didn't see the other lady though. All effort to explain things to him hasn't yield any result, he is adamant on not returning home. He is still there. His wife is now planning to get the single mother arrested but we pleaded with her to stay action and let's see if we can prevail on him first. Please house, is the option of getting someone arrested a good one or we should continue to find ways of resolving the issue, thank you all.

when they are telling them to calm down , they will forming superwoman see her life

The only way to bring him home is to tie a rope around his neck.
But be careful.
For he may turn that rope into a suicide noose.
A word is enough for the wise.

A woman who does not value yams do not need to attend the new yam festival, the power of palm wine is better felt when a woman has served some to her husband before bed time, since she has no use for her jobless husband, someone needs him, she feels she can just pick someone's son and marry him not thinking who made him in life, most men are made by either their mothers, girlfriends or wife, so why cry when someone is helping him, can she pay for his feeding since he's been away? No, she has to go back o his family nd set the record straight, and beg for repentance, seems she's uneducated because only poorly brought up women create problems for a man when he's going trough trials, thinking that would motivate him, if his family fail to compel him to return then she's burnt.

theButterfly:
I pity Nigerian women having to deal with these little boys calling themselves men. So b|c you're having issues w| your wife regarding the loss of your job, the next thing is to move into another woman's home?

The single mother too should be ashamed of herself for allowing a married man [she knows he's married!] to be living w| her.

the thing me ooooo,
Show me one marriage wey nor grow through serious crisis at one time,oga u better handle your home

donbachi:
Arrest is not an option...some women lacks the wisdom to encourage their husbands when facing life challenges...but have the understanding of the word"infidel"..but 4gotten when he paid rents,fees,bills and others...lastly,women should stop listening to friends that says "if na me i no go gree"...this is the problem with most marriages.

U are so correct. They are quick to bring up the infidel thing, forgetting that the bible was actually referring to men who have the money but refused to take care of their family or those who are plain lazy.

Let her promise to allow him marathon sexx with no work and steady food, I'm sure he will return, since she must beg a loafer to stay in marriage

The man registered his displeasure by embarking on a Strike action just like workers due to unfair treatment @ home...

The wife (as the federal government ) instead of addressing the issue raised about unfair treatment or making life a living hell for him..threatened arrest

Does that sound familiar

Richy4:
The man registered his displeasure by embarking on a Strike action just like workers due to unfair treatment @ home...

The wife (as the federal government ) instead of addressing the issue raised about unfair treatment or making life a living hell for him..threatened arrest

Does that sound familiar

Funny!

What won't I read on nairaland?

Of all places he chose a female friend's house is it that he's discussing his marital issues with the woman or they are having an affair. This is not good shaa o. If it were a woman now

Hmmmmm. If women gets to see the pains in us when they nag unnecessarily yet we form the head of the house and not react most times.