₦airaland Forum

somehow:
Maybe when men are judged less on what they have rather than what they can do will you see a man soft pedals on ego and pride.

do men judge themselves by what they can do themselves?

Do men judge women by what they can do?

Men base their own worth on superficial things like the expensive watch they have on, the cars they are driving, the money they have. Go to the profile pictures of most men on social media, they are either flaunting a wrist watch, shoes, a car, money, or some bottles of expensive champagne in the club. I once added up a guy on sociak media, who asked this your question, to tell him that the picture he has up, flaunting wads of cash, is why only women who want money are approaching him.

The kind of people you attract says a lot of you as a person.

Do men judge themselves by what they can do? Or are they more interested in being strangers in their own bodies?

True

mimyselfai:
I honestly think this is a convenient excuse for women who are either not married or have a failed marriage. I am not saying everyone must be married. No. But if you are married or you want to be married, there are so many things you should consider and so many rules you should follow. But your achievements or what you hope to achieve isn’t, shouldn’t, and wouldn’t be a factor. Simple.

What should now be a factor?? love for mediocrity, slothfulness, shamelessness

Ladies avoid men like this, they are going no where and building nothing and do not wish to build anything.

They rather shout sugar daddy up and down as if the sugar daddy is not a man like them. Lazy things!

Times are a-changing. Many women are now the ones bringing home the moolah and keeping their marriages together.

Ego that is the main thing. Two heads they say is better than one but most guys see it as an avenue to show "who is the macho man" and show gender superiority. They think cooperating with your significant order and building together is a show of weakness and leaves no room for them to be "incharge".

kay4kay:
The issues is that while struggling, she would have served all the sugar daddy the juicy part of the cookie. Her age bracket now wise up will rather go for the smalies with juicy kitten.

A sugardaddy is a man like you - Are you not a man. Provide her with what the sugardaddy provides and watch him poof into thin air.

A man like you is enticing the woman you want to marry - entice her too. It is the normal competition and if you think because of age he already has a head start my dear there are people younger than you who are self made richer than you - double your hustle!

Women are egoists.

Agnostic

To be a man is not a day's job, hey hey hey na so e dey be

Ybaby:
The solution to this problem is simple.

Ladies stop giving poor men the puussycat - trust me! Adam was incredibly lazy that Eve had to be created to entice Adam to work.

The only way Lazy men can have a little ambition is if you do not entertain them.

Lazy men are happy to dance soapy - let them! Give the soap and vaseline - only gravitate towards men with means.

Thank you.

In which version of the Bible did you read this? Make your point but please don't include untrue statements.

safarigirl:
So many men on this site are in this boat Ali Baba is dragging.

You see them here, calling every woman with the guts to have an opinion or self-esteem, a feminist. Calling women who know what they want evening newspaoer, accusing every successful woman of being an ashawo or "food for oga"....shameless 'men' that want to be worshipped just because they came to this world with a penis.

See a man old enough to understand life and values, giving advice, but watch how they will turn this thread into an opportunity to drag Yvonne Jegede and Toke, accuse them of being the reason their marriages failed, rather than address Ali Baba's concerns.

Co sign.

Okay, I just saw my Safarigirl make plenty sense. Let me take this back

pocohantas:
Okay, I just saw my Safarigirl make plenty sense. Let me take this back

lol, abeg add your 2cents as the saying goes "meat too much for soup nor dey spoil am".

Is there a jobless who knows what will fetch him 3k daily and says he won't explore it even when he is hungry??

People forget to ask that environments favour women to be more successful when they both seem the same thing and have almost equal advantage.

And until you move in with a woman in her apartment that you would know why the "wo" is added to "man" to have made her a woman!

6Milk:
If you go through his post, he is indirectly suggesting men should just roll with the tide without proper planning which to me is illogical
Why should an unemployed 32 year old man marry and move into his wife's house ?
What Ali baba just put together is a huge pile of beautiful nonsense

You dey mind am..He simply wants to sound Woke..

Hamachi:
Parents also need to change the way they train their children. There is something fundamentally wrong the way they treat the male child and the girl child. Until we start to realize that there is nothing like a MALE OR FEMALE CHILD, the problem will persist.

A marriage is a partnership not an EGO TRIP UNION. If the Husband is blessed good, if its the wife good but that does not mean the husband should now become lazy.

acknowledged the author naa.

You copied Gbenga Adeyinka's comment.

Simplep:
Bitter truth.
Most Nigerian men nowadays are very lazy,they don't want to start from the scratch,especially the so called graduates.
That is why I will never marry a jobless man or a man who feel comfortable feeding from people,yahoo boys included because for me they are jobless and lazy.

Did you even think before you spew that, so becos most gurls are now on olosho levels making cash off men ... nigeria average guys are now lazy.
Ali baba was just thinkin out loud, is view as nothing to do with the reality, if toke or jegede where to be a case study both women lost there marriages becos of there past (oloshoes) not becos they are rich ... i will rather move into my father house with one room than move in with a gurl that owns a mansion.
Don't flatter yourselve any further no jobless man will consider marriage. In the whole of africa there are no other men as hardworking & good providers as naija men.

[s]

solmusdesigns:



Someone should tell these folks : marriage doesnt need love to work

Marriages needs commitment and daily sacrifice from both parties involved

Human beings have been marrying and making families since Hundreds of years Ago 100.000 years before Christ.. and 90% of this marriages were arranged marriages, that started from very young age like 16 to old age and no case of divorce despite differences,

All of a sudden we started forgeting our roles in family building and comuinity building for trival things like love and gender equalities and since 1930s till date things have been astronomically getting bad for the marriage instituition


..

[/s]

safarigirl:
do men judge themselves by what they can do themselves?

Do men judge women by what they can do?

Men base their own worth on superficial things like the expensive watch they have on, the cars they are driving, the money they have. Go to the profile pictures of most men on social media, they are either flaunting a wrist watch, shoes, a car, money, or some bottles of expensive champagne in the club. I once added up a guy on sociak media, who asked this your question, to tell him that the picture he has up, flaunting wads of cash, is why only women who want money are approaching him.

The kind of people you attract says a lot of you as a person.

Do men judge themselves by what they can do? Or are they more interested in being strangers in their own bodies?

one can also say that you are meeting men who do this.

solmusdesigns:



Someone should tell these folks : marriage doesnt need love to work

Marriages needs commitment and daily sacrifice from both parties involved

Human beings have been marrying and making families since Hundreds of years Ago 100.000 years before Christ.. and 90% of this marriages were arranged marriages, that started from very young age like 16 to old age and no case of divorce despite differences,

All of a sudden we started forgeting our roles in family building and comuinity building for trival things like love and gender equalities and since 1930s till date things have been astronomically getting bad for the marriage instituition


..

Marriage needs commitment and sacrifice to work, but you can't commit to and sacrifice for someone you don't love. So love is still one of the basic requirements for keeping and sustaining marriage as no marriage will be pleasant without it.

jadyclem:
Marriage needs commitment and sacrifice to work, but you can't commit to and sacrifice for someone you don't love. So love is still one of the basic requirements for keeping and sustaining marriage as no marriage will be pleasant without it.

You can commit and sacrifice for what you dont love if you have enough reason to want to make it work, like giving your kids a good financial and educational background, you can commit and sacrifice if you have moral belief in keeping marriage even if its loveless just to create a better family and society at large

Not everyone goes to work because they love to, but because they have sense of purpose, obligation to family and society and bills so we make rationale decission to work daily

Ehn but wait ooo is it a must to marry,live your life all alone how is that hard

[s]

solmusdesigns:
You can commit and sacrifice for what you dont love if you have enough reason to want to make it work, like giving your kids a good financial and educational background

[/s]

@thebolded, it is a YES


Look at the example he gave. He wasn't talking about being jobless.

Stillthebest:



Is there a jobless who knows what will fetch him 3k daily and says he won't explore it even when he is hungry??

People forget to ask that environments favour women to be more successful when they both seem the same thing and have almost equal advantage.

And until you move in with a woman in her apartment that you would know why the "wo" is added to "man" to have made her a woman!

Ali Baba hit the nail on the head.

if his post hit home, its time to sit up and do the needful not whine and curse as usual.

From where I stand these females don’t want men to have their pride, that tells you that it’s exactly what you ought to have.

solmusdesigns:
You can commit and sacrifice for what you dont love if you have enough reason to want to make it work, like giving your kids a good financial and educational background, you can commit and sacrifice if you have moral belief in keeping marriage even if its loveless just to create a better family and society at large

Not everyone goes to work because they love to, but because they have sense of purpose, obligation to family and society and bills so we make rationale decission to work daily

Have you ever observed how someone that doesn't love his/her job behaves? He/she does everything grudgingly and without putting in their best. They're just doing it for the pay and should they have a better option, they wouldn't think twice before quitting. That's how someone that's in a marriage without love is.

Marriage can never survive without love. People leave their marriages or divorce not because they don't have cogent reasons to want to stay back and make it work but because love is no longer there. I'll say it again, sacrifice, commitment and every other thing that powers marriage are influenced and sustained by love. A marriage without love is already dead; though not yet buried.

Simplep:
Bitter truth.
Most Nigerian men nowadays are very lazy,they don't want to start from the scratch,especially the so called graduates.
That is why I will never marry a jobless man or a man who feel comfortable feeding from people,yahoo boys included because for me they are jobless and lazy.

By the time you are 40 you'll be searching far and wide for any available jobless man to marry but it will be too late as all of them would have been gainfully employed by then.

Duggedised12:
lol, abeg add your 2cents as the saying goes "meat too much for soup nor dey spoil am".

I been wan ask why Yvonne and her crew dey always react. Then I realised it shouldn't be about them, but the post.

StrikeBack:
All they tell you is how successful and enterprising they are.

You never get to hear what they do for a living, all they say is work hard, work smart and all those nonsensical motivation bullshit.

Nonsense

Whatever a woman is doing for a living - the worst she can be doing is Ashawo - very few women can be armed robbers due to their physical strength and the Ashawo matter it is a man like you that is paying them. You are a man too you know - go get some money so you too can be a big g@d to a small girl and stop feeling intimidated. Being a man is the highest a human being can be not so....men are presidents, govenors women are only campaigning and shaking bumbum to see what we can get from your fellow man but you is a man like your fellow man - Please get to work.

Simplep:
Bitter truth.
Most Nigerian men nowadays are very lazy,they don't want to start from the scratch,especially the so called graduates.
That is why I will never marry a jobless man or a man who feel comfortable feeding from people,yahoo boys included because for me they are jobless and lazy.

they re jobless and lazy .. ,#smiles
yet you can not marry a wheelbarrow pusher . olosho