₦airaland Forum

nairalandposter:
Going by your post history today, and probably other days, can you blame anyone for watching you more closely?

taiwoawoniyi:
So I was even being minimalist with the 150k budget...imagine.
School fees alone is worth a whole lot. So school fees for Nursery school isn't a joke. And two children.

Let's do some maths too:
#50 per diaper
3-5 diapers, let's take an average of 4 diapers a day.
That is #200 daily.
#1,400 a week.
#5,500 a month roughly,
#65 k a year...on diapers alone. My God!
Imagine you were bountifully blessed with twins, multiply that figure.

If you can't take care of a child, learn to wait till you have the capacity .

Many people commenting are NOT married. Marriage isn't a bed of roses.

So for pooing, you'll spend roughly more than #65k in a year. School fees isn't there ooo...every term, you'll buy stationeries o.
You'll buy socks, sandals/shoes, lunch boxes, bags, you'll take your child to the beach or eatery.

Let me not even start analysing those ones sef.

mzhorlah:
It depends on the individuals involved. As for me, I will enjoy my husband well before inviting any third party(babies)

midnighter:
I can't see anything remarkable about my posts today, or any other day. In fact my posts are quite mundane most of the time

Is it the Bedouin proverb that bothered you this much?

midnighter:
Hmm see how everybody has changed their tune because its a Ghanaian talking...

Nairaland men from certain tribes or regions against Nigerian women, specific nairaland Nigerian men and women against Ghanaians and other Nigerians and Ghanaians against the world...

KIDfurniture:
Wait till your partner and ur self is ready financially..that's the koko..some idiots would say baby will bring her own food , monies , Pampers from heaven. Awon sick people.

nairalandposter:
Let's revisit what you said was an Arabian and then a Bedoiun proverb:

donstan18:
I don't know for women, but I strongly believe that children are one of the major reasons why most men settle down.

Reason the day a man becomes a father is more memorable than his wedding day.

So I think it's proper not to wait for anything before making babies, especially these days where 70% of slay queens are womb-less. Start immediately to help you know if you married a fertile woman or not.


In fact, any lady that fails to take in at most, 2 months after wedding should be questioned or sent packing.

LewsTherin:
Not trying to start an argument here but this is your opinion. And as James Blunt once said, opinions are like a*seholes. Every body has one.

Here's mine.

First, family planning is the act of planning the number of and the spacing between said children. There are many methods of family planning. The easiest and most convinient are called condoms.

Yes, many families start with a plan for the number of and spacing between the children. A family that want to have children immediately and want to have 4 on the bounce, that's their family plan. It is family planning.

Except you have problems with condoms, that's a viable method of family planning. And not everyone has problems with them. So those that don't can use that method.

God gives and takes away according to Job. But God gives us the free will to make a choice. And as long as that choice is not in opposition to Him or His plans, we are good to go. And even if they are not, Moses proved we can get Him to change His mind.

safarigirl:
It is better to wait a year, if you have the time.

Kids will create a gulf between a couple unconsciously and the enjoyment will be over too quickly. Unless you can barely stand each other, and kids are the only things bringing you together, it is advisable to wait a year and get your bearings first, before inviting a third party

Yaba4sure:
am a victim to this ur write up

taiwoawoniyi:
Many people who are commenting aren't being objective.

Ask any married person and they will tell you that adjusting to married life takes some effort. Marriage isn't something that happened in a day. You have to gradually adjust to the quirks and peculiarities of your spouse.

Before having babies, you both should be in tango emotionally. Having a baby tends to share the affection from two into three.

Also, finances MUST be considered. You must understand the financial implications of having a child. If you don't have a child yet, you and your spouse can still "manage" yourselves . You can't "manage" a baby/parenthood.

What if your wife has to undergo Cesarian operation? That's about #150k for childbirth alone. We've not discussed ante-natal, baby clothes (which must be changed maybe every month or two), baby food, baby diaper, school fees when the time comes, and the overall responsibility of training a child properly.

Don't go into something you're not prepared for.
A friend decided with her husband to wait for three years...yes, three years before she got pregnant and they have a beautiful baby now. TheyreT doing very fine.

If you're not thoroughly prepared, enjoy your spouse for now.

Modified: I just heard toys are very expensive too.

Think and plan well before plunging into the decision to give birth early .You see people who are pressuring you - mothers, friends, general talkatives - they won't be around when you're thinking of how to pay school fees.

Now imagine if you give birth to TWINS! Those things I wrote, multiply them conveniently by TWO. You'll understand that responsibility isn't for children.

TRIPLETS nko? I cannot even begin to can .God works in wonderful ways!

LewsTherin:
Thank you very much. By the way, that 150k is too small in many places. 300k even in a government general hospital. Let's not forget the school fees when they start coming. My kid was to start nursery school. When they showed me the bill, my whole day just spoilt. And only 2 children at that oh.

Why rush? Take time and prepare. Life is bloody expensive with children. Only poo poo is N50 each for diapers! 3 to 5 poo poos a day. Do the maths.

taiwoawoniyi:
So I was even being minimalist with the 150k budget...imagine.
School fees alone is worth a whole lot. So school fees for Nursery school isn't a joke. And two children.

Let's do some maths too:
#50 per diaper
3-5 diapers, let's take an average of 4 diapers a day.
That is #200 daily.
#1,400 a week.
#5,500 a month roughly,
#65 k a year...on diapers alone. My God!
Imagine you were bountifully blessed with twins, multiply that figure.

If you can't take care of a child, learn to wait till you have the capacity .

Many people commenting are NOT married. Marriage isn't a bed of roses.

So for pooing, you'll spend roughly more than #65k in a year. School fees isn't there ooo...every term, you'll buy stationeries o.
You'll buy socks, sandals/shoes, lunch boxes, bags, you'll take your child to the beach or eatery.

Let me not even start analysing those ones sef.

Iamsane:
How much do you spend on ogogoro and alcoholic drinks yearly.

Raalsalghul:
The wisest post on this thread.

taiwoawoniyi:
Thank you for your compliment. It's not the wisest tho, I just gleaned the wisdom of wise people who have contributed and complied it.
RThank, once again.

spiritedtete:
Waiting ..in marriage depends on the plans agreed by both parties... because you will really need to settle and rekindle the real meaning of liviing together has husband and wife... while you also map a Future and save towards it...


I personally waited 1 year before i start shooting... and no regrets on that. More also, dont rush, and try spacing to as it will allow the first baby(ies) to enjoy their parents.

Absolutely no need to rush if you get married in your late 20s and early thirties.


Note this... once the children start coming... your love life will never remain the same again. Because this time you will need to all share it... it won't be that easy. You might even grow apart while still married and be having kinds...

Wife might suffered hormonal imbalance, which will affect attitude and life style...

Husband will seek side chick to be calming nerves...


Alot of things... however it takes a matured mind to understand this and encourage each other as they grow.

LewsTherin:
I will always advice to wait at least a year before tryimg for kids. Not so as to "sexually enjoy each other " but so as to get to know each other. No family, no extras, no one but you both. Then you know who the other person really is.

We waited 3 years before one pastor prayed one kind prayer like that wey no be im business.

I miss those early days.

We could just get up and go on a night out. Go to the movies. Dinner. Go to a concert. Take a weekend off just like that. We could go visit friends whenever we wanted and if the traffic got too bad, we go to a hotel somewhere for the night.

And yes the sex. Palour, kitchen, bathroom, any room.

I miss those days. Now everything is "where are the kids?" "Where do we keep the kids?" "The kids can't go there" "We have to hurry to pick up the kids" and of course "not so loud. You'll wake the kids up!!!"

I miss those early days.

Raalsalghul:
Stop being modest.

jenifer007:
You should have discussed all these you said with your spouse before getting married. You don't need to rush and spend so much for your wedding.Wedding is for few hours...Your guests will eat and go leaving you and your wife on your own....Bro planning a marriage is not a child's play....Be prepared and once you are prepared finanacially ,bringing the number of children you can cater for into the world won't be hard.

LewsTherin:
I will always advice to wait at least a year before tryimg for kids. Not so as to "sexually enjoy each other " but so as to get to know each other. No family, no extras, no one but you both. Then you know who the other person really is.

We waited 3 years before one pastor prayed one kind prayer like that wey no be im business.

I miss those early days.

We could just get up and go on a night out. Go to the movies. Dinner. Go to a concert. Take a weekend off just like that. We could go visit friends whenever we wanted and if the traffic got too bad, we go to a hotel somewhere for the night.

And yes the sex. Palour, kitchen, bathroom, any room.

I miss those days. Now everything is "where are the kids?" "Where do we keep the kids?" "The kids can't go there" "We have to hurry to pick up the kids" and of course "not so loud. You'll wake the kids up!!!"

I miss those early days.

donstan18:
I don't know for women, but I strongly believe that children are one of the major reasons why most men settle down.

Reason the day a man becomes a father is more memorable than his wedding day.

So I think it's proper not to wait for anything before making babies, especially these days where 70% of slay queens are womb-less. Start immediately to help you know if you married a fertile woman or not.


In fact, any lady that fails to take in at most, 2 months after wedding should be questioned or sent packing.

Richdad50:


Advantage
It is always good to stay for a year with your bride before getting her pregnant. This gives you the opportunity to properly enjoy each other sexually and interactively. You will have enough time to extend the fun of courtship into marriage before the stress and distraction that comes with children.

Disadvantage
The contraceptives taken to avoid pregnancy takes a while to wear off. This can invariably cause you stress when you are ready to take in. So be prepared.

Richdad

donstan18:
I don't know for women, but I strongly believe that children are one of the major reasons why most men settle down.

Reason the day a man becomes a father is more memorable than his wedding day.

So I think it's proper not to wait for anything before making babies, especially these days where 70% of slay queens are womb-less. Start immediately to help you know if you married a fertile woman or not.


In fact, any lady that fails to take in at most, 2 months after wedding should be questioned or sent packing.

philip0906:
1. Your bank account
2. Agreement between you and your wife
3. Please don't bring any child into this world when you don't have enough to cater for him/her
4. As I dey hustle wey to marry no even dey agenda, if you bring pikin enter this world wey you no fit train am, he turn nuissance come climb my fence say he wan thief, i go shoot am down

greatbrian:
Sometimes I ask myself if there is more to an African live than waking up, going to work, paying bills, making babies and paying more bills.

midnighter:
What do you want to revisit about it??

A Bedouin is a type of Arab who lives a nomadic lifestyle in the desert, similar to Fulanis. So it's an Arabian, more specifically Bedouin, proverb.

Secondly I didn't say that that was the proverb, I said it was a reference to the proverb. Why are you quoting my comment without quoting the proverb that I provided you with....

And why are you quoting what you edited instead of what I actually said? So you just felt like quoting yourself...?

I used that proverb because I have noticed a lot of men rubbishing the sex-for-grades claims over the past few days but most were still defensive towards the Ghanaian lecturer