I’m not married but...

I won’t justify his words asking you to leave each time. From my small experience I get angry when I’m broke, when I feel I’m not doing enough for my spouse. She feels, it’s about her. It’s not, it’s about the money that was supposed to come and didn’t come due to one constraint or the other.

Solution; you guys need to see a counselor and he must let it out. I don’t think it’s about you. Something is eating your hubby up.

All the best!

The man has tired of the relationship u just care to know, he tired because you only produce children’s and sex no other value you had to his life, like idea and money.....that’s genesis of the problem

Madam, am sorry to say this. I feel you have done something that hurts him in the past and secondly, dont argue with him and respect him more. Try this and feed us back with good news. God will bless your home

Na wah b like say d man don Dey chop kitten for outside.


Money issues

It seems

Midas01:
Like your mama own abi?

Na from sampling ya mama anoos na im I take know..ya mama tautau dey smell veli bad

Zhuhilat:
[b]

I am sorry if am not concerned about how you feel pr how you are being treated, I rather ask why you allow arguement btw you two degenerate to the lever where he ask you to leave 5 times now.

Is it that you lack the intelligence to back down from an argument till he is provoked to the extent he make those comment ? He as also proven he regret his actions judging from your write up, he now decide it beta to leave the house for you since he doesn't always want to tell you to leave his house.

Finally, I will tell you what I tell couples that are too foolish to resolve their differences without outside help " break up the union" if you can't cope. Every adult should own a working brain capable of determining what is acceptable n not acceptable to you in a relationship.

You guys don't understand the issue. That woman talk too much, must you have to argue with your husband? Tell him your feelings and don't argue with him when his start his own argument.


secondly, we men don't like collecting from our In-law especially when you're okay to take care of your family, because of future issue, cos wife will still rembr. you that it was my family that was feeding you so so year, cos you have small change now, you are feeling on top of the world. You can collect anything from your parent in your own use only not for the entire family.



Try this and thanks me later.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

the same thing my mum is facing

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else

You already have a solution ! Why do you need anybody's opinion again madam? Good luck!

Zhuhilat:
Thanks all. I appreciate.

Truly speaking, i am just tired of it all.
I do not know how a very comfortable young girl, working in the health sector, traveling to different countries for conferences ended up here.

I feel like this is my life now, no light at the end of this tunnel

No my husband isn’t broke we earn really really well and i am not doing baldly either.

My biggest worry is for my child.
Also when is enough is enough?
I dont want to loose myself. I am just 26.

So sorry for ranting but it is better than talking to family members that will gossip about you.

.
wen d Foundation is destroyed, even d righteous becomes confuse.
u saw all this during courtship but decided to ignore it, saying "he'll Change".
.
make Ur marriage work. u don't have to reply him every time arguments ensued Btwn both of U. watch him rants & control ur lips.
Above all commit ur marriage into God's hands. make it work. .
Bring down ur pride .

Zhuhilat:
It is very easy to say stay, work on it, watch war room. Nobody knows how it feels LITERALLY.
. It is well.

Thanks for the Advice or constructive criticism, I appreciate.

Think about that one thing he always complains about. That one thing that always gets his goat. That should be the trigger for the 'leave my house' rant.

hint: it's probably an attitude thing on your part. not saying it's your fault, or that he's right always telling you to leave though. but if he meant it he wouldn't always apologize to you afterward.

it's crazy how we're all wired so differently but am sure there's a trigger for this somewhere within your relationship dynamic. Since it's not money, sex maybe? Identify that trigger, do away with it & voila! problem solved.

Kokaine:
na wa oh
This marriage of a thing is very difficult. When I see issues like this it makes me want to marry a white woman

Ill advise u bcom gay because u see the thing of a woman enh, no be here.

For instance as this op dey run mouth so, do you know there are a number of things she deliberately may not divulge to make her appear right in the eyes of the jury?

Oga, no be by black or white jare. Women will always be women.

If I may react based on what you have written, you have brought you extended family into your new home and there will be "war" as long as that remains. Try and respect your husband and ignore certain things if you want your marriage to work. Marriage is not a competition between a man and a woman, you are supposed to complement your husband. If he came back and didnt buy baby food, nothing stopped you from going to buy it without quarrel. Doing this two or three times alone can even change the man. Your family that is urging you to come back, would be the same asking youto go and find a man and move out. Be wise and build your home!

olabrinks:
The man is the head of the home. The leader, the example setter and the main component that keeps the house together. Once the man fails to excel in his responsibility as the head, the foundation becomes extremely faulty and the union begins to crumble. Women submit to responsible men. A Woman cannot build a home on sand. I think some men really need some marriage counselling because most of you are so unaware and lost. And before you quote me, I am not single, miserable or bitter. Thanks in advance.

a 23 year old baby mama. Please take several seats.
Adults are talking .. Don't bother to quote me. You won't get a response

You can be all you want to be but once you decide to can't cope being a wife to your husband by all pleasure divorce him. It silly of anyone to convince a woman like you whose mind is already made up to stay in a union.

Zhuhilat:
Thanks all. I appreciate.

Truly speaking, i am just tired of it all.
I do not know how a very comfortable young girl, working in the health sector, traveling to different countries for conferences ended up here.

I feel like this is my life now, no light at the end of this tunnel

No my husband isn’t broke we earn really really well and i am not doing baldly either.

My biggest worry is for my child.
Also when is enough is enough?
I dont want to loose myself. I am just 26.

So sorry for ranting but it is better than talking to family members that will gossip about you.

midnighter:
Get him to a marriage counselor..stat...

You mother sent you some foodstuffs and it made him angry ...maybe he's seeing it as a competition between his family and yours...

I think maybe you come from a wealthier background than him? That would be the reason why he keeps saying "i dont need you..you are of no importance to me" etc. Inferiority complex

What was his reason for not buying the baby food...? So what would the baby eat...

Is there any kind of detail you can add? Its not making sense. None of this stuff can lead to a full-blown argument... he seems to be harbouring some resentment about something and taking these opportunities to get back at you over insignificant things

Why didnt your father agree that you should go back? Did he have a reason?

That's what I thought too, probably the guy isn't ready for marriage but the op used pregnancy to force him ...they are both sounding like kids

/
You chose him and he chose you.

He is your problem.

Stop bothering people with your problems.

/

Now I understand why people would call a story one sided.

omonikiba:


Human beings unfold daily. Marriage is continous learning and the discovery of each other is daily.

Imagine, your hubby eat beans every other week, and then one day you cook beans and he's like 'don't we have food in this house?', and so many other funny attitudes. You can't know him in all areas during courtship. Whoever tells you you should know everything about him during courtship is not a realist.

Forget all these sweet mouth marriage seminars we attend oo. When you enter, you learn with real marriage experience.

If we know it all, no need to build after marriage. The bible says, only a wise woman build her home

The poster will learn so many things from the man and she will begin to overcome those things that triggers argument with time. And the husband too will grow older to learn to stop reacting rudely to trivial things.

The rate at which marriages break nowadays, the best advise to give any young couple is just patience patience patience not reacting back in the same gesture.

no wise men? How can heads not be able to build a home? So why don't women just build theirs alone after collecting their children? The problem with you religious types is that you've exonerated men from doing anything in their homes. They've been made tin gods and worshipped as heads, but at the end of the day still cannot be wise. All the seminars held are for women. Women should clean, have children, hold the family, cook, please the in-laws, be industrious, be sexy. What are men taught to be? The exact opposite of them, or worse still, they are encouraged to do nothing. The problem is that women are their own enemy. Women advising women to remain in toxic relationship, to salvage what their husbands have trashed and destroyed, to apologize even when they are right. Why would men ever be good when they make mistakes and the advice is always to apologize to them so as to keep them; and they cheat but women are instead told they were not good enough for their husbands? Are they God? The worst excuse for men is that wise women build their houses. If so, who is destroying it? Must be the men who do nothing and have no responsibility in homes except to be men and demand help from their wives, but turn around to destroy the homes.

1 Both of u has anger issue 2 Must u talk when he is talking to u remember men has Ego 3 Just 2yrs you have already thinking of looking outside WATCH URSELF VERY WELL U MIGHT BE THE CAUSE OF UR PAIN IN DAT MARRIAGE. 4 if u can send him to get a baby milk for u meaning he is a cool guy u just need a little work on him STOP GIVING DAT MAN STRESS PLEASE,ALLOW HIM TO HAVE PEACE@HIS OWN HOME I PUT ALL DIS BLAME ON U because OF UR STATEMENT ABOVE DAT U WILL START LOOKING OUTSIDE WHILE WETIN DEY LAGOS STILL DEY ABUJA TOO. 6 if he is talking or trying to correct u just keep calm don't try to rub shudder with him he is the man of the house ad u always push him to say things out of anger like leave the house etc. 7 Woman build ur home noting dey outside abi u neva tire for runs? 8 Above all pray more.

happney65:
Your husband is a weeree guy and he should be locked up at aro or taken to a church make them beat his weere comot..He dey vex He dey vex,He vex so tey he no buy your child food all because he dey vex..He dey vex,He comot house 12AM.If Ritualits come cut his head comot nko?
Which kain wayree man be that?small thing,comot dey go..leave my house..Am sure he grew up in a family where the father is feared and treated like a Demi god..

Divorce the murdafucccker,nothing more,nothing else

By the way,Is he also a Buharists?cos na Buharists dey reason that way..

setobaba:


Don't start using collective words (marital problems) yet, the guy is having serious anger issue and some tribes are known to be angry

Pleas do not hesitate to mention the very tribes that are naturally endowed with anger issues... I strongly believe that tribe(s) has or have got nothing to do with marital problems.

Dpaulie:
Dear OP, don't take advice from feminists because they will mislead u, by the grace of God, I'm married and my marriage is 5+ now, in the first and second year my wife experienced this a lot from me, any slight argument, I'll tell her to leave, as a matter of fact the day our marriage was a month exactly, we had this argument and I told her to pack her things and leave and that was around 11pm. There was one like that her mum came to our house and I told her infront of her mum to leave my house, that I will leave for both she and her mum (is there anything more ridiculous and disrespect than that ?) I left her and her mum inside and went to a friend, but her mum unexpectedly was waiting for me at home, I later went back home, her mum expressed how hurt she was with my statements, this is a very rich woman and popular in ibadan, I humbled myself and plead with her, after that, it happened time without numbers yet my wife endured it, by the grace of God it's been over 3 years now that we had any serious argument, and my wife remain my best friend because after the Almighty, she's the pillar of our marriage...dear op, 2 years is too early, pls endure it, it's just a matter of time, pray and reject what u dont want in your marriage

it's pretty clear that men are the architect of their family problems. They are always looking for ways to destroy homes. After you will want your wife to apologize to you, after your home destruction, so that you will feel like a man again, right? Why should anyone have to endure what you did, telling her to pack out? If done to you, you couldn't stand it. Women must endure, but what must men do It's because she was rich you listened. Otherwise you would've divorced her and been here ranting full of MGTOW about gold diggers when you were the problem in the relationship. The only people who destroy relationships are men. Just look at the above.

We all are hypocrites with our comments.

A Yoruba adage aye any one who hears a once sided story and gives judgement is the father said mother of all wickedness.. The same way you heard a part of dakolo rape case ND gave your judgement. Always a sided story.. In this case. We don't need the other side..

Woman... You seem too be the one who can't be totally submissive or willing to asap down from an argument..housewife does not need that. What happened to dropping your opinion and backing of but seems you always have to have the2 ast say. Seems you enjoy the argument and when. A man is broke or going through issues that you don't help them with? They nag. You should thread carefully This times.

I'd you have your mind made up about finding love Ellie where them you don't need any advice..its part of the reason why instead of backing down on an argument to let peace rain, you be willing to Provoke the more.

You have hurt that man in the past with an action he can't say out or doing something at the moment he doesn't like,using style to tell you to stop but you are proving stubborn..

He likkrssbyou. That's for sure.. You need to know what you are triggering.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

Madam you really need to calm down , I have been married for twelve years now so don't think I have no experience.
You have to submit yourself totally, both of you can't be a goat , one has to be a sheep while the other is a goat . if your man call you names and asked you to leave his house and you also left, then something is wrong with you . do you really think its a good thing packing your stuffs and leaving your matrimonial home ?
So long he is not beating you , why must you pack out ?
All the names he call you, is it a true reflection of your character ?if not , why are you bothered ?
One of you have to sacrifice for the marriage to work .
As you both grow , you tend to understand each other the other .
The worst mistake of your life is to start giving attentions or thinking there are better men out there .
Don't fool yourself or make yourself a subject of ridicule .
Sit down and stop packing out . stay put in your marriage and make it work .
Your only complain is the names he do call you .
Do you go hungry in his house ?
Are you lacking any other thing ?
No marriage is perfect but please make yours work .
I beg you in the name of whatever you believe in and it shall end in praise .

kevotek1000:
Firstly Nairaland won't give you advice on how to manage your home.

There are certain reasons a man behavior may become strange and unbecoming. Madam first thing check yourself have you wrong him in any way, do you always challenge him when an argument comes up. If No, then he might be seeing someone, if cases like this arises then wisdom is profitable. If you're Christian you can pray that God should change him, involve someone who you know he has great respect for to talk to him like your pastor or family members. For the fact that most times he is remorseful for his actions shows he still loves you. So you don't need to be hard on him, this is the other side of marriage and as a woman you have a greater role to play in all of this. If his recent behavior towards you didn't change you soon he will realize your important in his life and then bounce back. No marriages is all sweet, change your man with wisdom. I pray that God will give you the strength and wisdom to go about the affairs of your family.

if a man misbehaves the first thing to do is that the woman should check herself? Who did this to Nigerian men? Remorse means love? Who told you people that? No wonder women cheat. Too many excuses from men. If it were a woman what would you advice?

Rejoice5000:
1 Both of u has anger issue 2 Must u talk when he is talking to u remember men has Ego 3 Just 2yrs you have already thinking of looking outside WATCH URSELF VERY WELL U MIGHT BE THE CAUSE OF UR PAIN IN DAT MARRIAGE. 4 if u can send him to get a baby milk for u meaning he is a cool guy u just need a little work on him STOP GIVING DAT MAN STRESS PLEASE,ALLOW HIM TO HAVE PEACE@HIS OWN HOME I PUT ALL DIS BLAME ON U because OF UR STATEMENT ABOVE DAT U WILL START LOOKING OUTSIDE WHILE WETIN DEY LAGOS STILL DEY ABUJA TOO. 6 if he is talking or trying to correct u just keep calm don't try to rub shudder with him he is the man of the house ad u always push him to say things out of anger like leave the house etc. 7 Woman build ur home noting dey outside abi u neva tire for runs? 8 Above all pray more.

You nailed it . kudos

Prayer is the key

.

Pavarottii:

I pity u, sooner or later u will know what u av done to urself... Be thinking the money She is making is for Taking care of the family...

do you even believe him?

AntiBrutus:


I see. One alfa male has found love. He is mow retracting his previous submissions.

I wish you both the best.

how can you believe him? One moment he understands women, the next he is their worst nightmare. Giving loads of hogwash stories. I pity females who get with on-and-off guys. Perhaps he's one of those men who women use in real life, but come online to drill the rest to be "men"and how to be red pilled

Madam Relax a little. Let's use the next option.
1. Have you heard him use such hash words during your dating. Then it may be part of his life.
2. If it is not normal, or he didn't use abusive words during your dating, then scoop down investigate, something is wrong.
3. He may proud, or something is making him to say those things. For example having a particular notion about you or something
4. Use one his friend to trace things out.
5. Watch yourself too on one area or the other.
6. Something is pissing him off.
7. Do your best first and see the rest would work out