₦airaland Forum

computergeek:
So I’ve never actually brought a personal issue to this forum, but this one is beyond me and I don’t know the best course of action to take here. I believe that there are people here who may have had a similar experience or might know what best to do. This may be a bit long.

So there’s this neighbor of mine whom I have an after-school agreement with. She’s a stay-at-home mum with two kids (a nursing baby and a four-year-old) while I have one child (also four). I usually leave my office at 4:00pm, so the agreement is, after-school at 12:30pm, I’ll go pick up the kids (they go to the same school) and return to work while she watches my son for me. I get my son his lunch and snacks before he goes there, even though she’s begged me to stop doing that, but I can’t saddle her with feeding a child that’s not hers.

The issue now is, a lot of violent things have happened in that house and as of this week, my son won’t be returning there. But I fear for the woman. Our homes are separated by a wall, but we often hear the arguing and crying sometimes. I knew she was having marital issues but I didn’t know the extent.

About two weeks ago, I went to get my son from the house and I noticed he wasn’t talking as usual. My son is the very boisterous type who likes to bounce as he walks, and he’ll usually try to take the key from my hand so he’ll open the door himself. That day, he wasn’t talking as usual. He seemed scared and shaken up. I knew the woman would sometimes punish the kids by asking them to kneel down when they fought, but she wouldn’t hit them. I asked him what the issue was, if anyone at school or home had been looking for his trouble, the guy said no.
He’s very close to his father (they are best friends), so when my husband came home I asked him to talk to the boy because he couldn’t choke his food down. After about a while, my son opened up. Apparently, he’d witnessed a very violent beating that he was struggling to find the right words to explain. He said that David’s father had been punching his mother in the passage with two hands at a time, and when she’d tried to run, he brought her back and beat her more. He said that he and David had to hide under the table because they were scared of getting hurt. He then said the mother raised a flower vase and hit him on his head, but the man continued beating her and shouting at her.

I didn’t know what to say. My son had witnessed a violent beating and it traumatized him. We soothed the boy and told him to forget about it. I then knew why the woman didn’t come out to hand him over as she usually did when I went to get him. He just came to me by himself.
The next day, I was skeptical about taking my son back there but he said he doesn’t want to stop playing with David and Sandra (the one-year-old baby). After school, I picked the boys up and drove them home. David’s mom came to the door and her face was badly bruised. I had to ask her what was wrong, but she hurriedly said she fell down and then took the kids from me.

On Friday last week, two days ago, the worst happened. It was around 3:00 or 3:30 when the woman called me at work. I picked the phone up and it was my son. He said that David’s mummy was lying on the floor and wasn’t opening her eyes. He said she was still moving but she couldn’t open her eyes. That blood was coming out her nose and mouth and their daddy had driven away. My heart literally flew out of my chest.

I called my husband as I was driving home and told him to meet us at the hospital. Long story cut short, she was badly battered and torn apart, almost about to give up life. I took her and all the kids to the hospital. While they were cleaning her wounds and hooking her up to the IV, I sorted out the bills. My husband tried to reach out to hers but he was rejecting the calls, so he went to make a statement at the area police command. They told us to contact them once she wakes up to give her statement. The police doesn’t usually like to dabble into marital issues but the woman was disfigured beyond imagination.

Sadly, you won’t believe what she said when she came to after a few hours. She started begging us to not report to anybody and not even call her family. That she’ll refund us the hospital bills and we should just call her friend that lives in New Haven to come and look after her. She was trying to protect the beast that had beaten her and left her for dead. We tried to reason with her because the man would certainly kill her sooner or later. She said he’s her husband and the father of her kids, bla bla bla. She told us that she’d been confronting him about a girl he’d been gallivanting openly with him, and that’s been the cause of all their issues.

She told me to use my number and call her husband because he doesn’t have me as a contact. I called him and told him the wife he tried to kill was in the hospital. He told me that she had better remain there because he’ll kill her if she ever comes near his house again. He hung up on me. She’s still insisting that he doesn’t mean it and she must go back once she’s discharged.

The issue now is, should we withdraw the police report or take the case up? The woman’s life is in danger and she doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of her situation, writing it off as momentary anger. I don’t know why women choose to remain in these violent situations even when they have children to live for. She’s not even thinking about her one-year-old who has been with me all weekend.

Mature advice is needed here. Pease push to front page. I don’t know if we’ll be overstepping our boundaries by trying to help her.

sisisioge:
Dearest Lord in heaven! Ahhhhh! Heavens please be kind to me and mine.

Madam OP, you've done your bit. Thank you. Kindly seal it by calling her family too. That crazyyy little Mrs is destined to die with the title. As for your kid, biko find him another place to stay after school.

We are all responsible for our choices. Please let the world know, let her family know, let the police remain in the know so that he could easily go to the prison he so desperately sort after. Afterall, either could have chosen to walk away. I just pity his kids.

Sterope:
If he is truly a police officer, this country is seriously bleeped. I am pretty sure he came from a fu.cked up home too.

Jaqenhghar:
He is just a troll

computergeek:
So I’ve never actually brought a personal issue to this forum, but this one is beyond me and I don’t know the best course of action to take here. I believe that there are people here who may have had a similar experience or might know what best to do. This may be a bit long.

So there’s this neighbor of mine whom I have an after-school agreement with. She’s a stay-at-home mum with two kids (a nursing baby and a four-year-old) while I have one child (also four). I usually leave my office at 4:00pm, so the agreement is, after-school at 12:30pm, I’ll go pick up the kids (they go to the same school) and return to work while she watches my son for me. I get my son his lunch and snacks before he goes there, even though she’s begged me to stop doing that, but I can’t saddle her with feeding a child that’s not hers.

The issue now is, a lot of violent things have happened in that house and as of this week, my son won’t be returning there. But I fear for the woman. Our homes are separated by a wall, but we often hear the arguing and crying sometimes. I knew she was having marital issues but I didn’t know the extent.

About two weeks ago, I went to get my son from the house and I noticed he wasn’t talking as usual. My son is the very boisterous type who likes to bounce as he walks, and he’ll usually try to take the key from my hand so he’ll open the door himself. That day, he wasn’t talking as usual. He seemed scared and shaken up. I knew the woman would sometimes punish the kids by asking them to kneel down when they fought, but she wouldn’t hit them. I asked him what the issue was, if anyone at school or home had been looking for his trouble, the guy said no.
He’s very close to his father (they are best friends), so when my husband came home I asked him to talk to the boy because he couldn’t choke his food down. After about a while, my son opened up. Apparently, he’d witnessed a very violent beating that he was struggling to find the right words to explain. He said that David’s father had been punching his mother in the passage with two hands at a time, and when she’d tried to run, he brought her back and beat her more. He said that he and David had to hide under the table because they were scared of getting hurt. He then said the mother raised a flower vase and hit him on his head, but the man continued beating her and shouting at her.

I didn’t know what to say. My son had witnessed a violent beating and it traumatized him. We soothed the boy and told him to forget about it. I then knew why the woman didn’t come out to hand him over as she usually did when I went to get him. He just came to me by himself.
The next day, I was skeptical about taking my son back there but he said he doesn’t want to stop playing with David and Sandra (the one-year-old baby). After school, I picked the boys up and drove them home. David’s mom came to the door and her face was badly bruised. I had to ask her what was wrong, but she hurriedly said she fell down and then took the kids from me.

On Friday last week, two days ago, the worst happened. It was around 3:00 or 3:30 when the woman called me at work. I picked the phone up and it was my son. He said that David’s mummy was lying on the floor and wasn’t opening her eyes. He said she was still moving but she couldn’t open her eyes. That blood was coming out her nose and mouth and their daddy had driven away. My heart literally flew out of my chest.

I called my husband as I was driving home and told him to meet us at the hospital. Long story cut short, she was badly battered and torn apart, almost about to give up life. I took her and all the kids to the hospital. While they were cleaning her wounds and hooking her up to the IV, I sorted out the bills. My husband tried to reach out to hers but he was rejecting the calls, so he went to make a statement at the area police command. They told us to contact them once she wakes up to give her statement. The police doesn’t usually like to dabble into marital issues but the woman was disfigured beyond imagination.

Sadly, you won’t believe what she said when she came to after a few hours. She started begging us to not report to anybody and not even call her family. That she’ll refund us the hospital bills and we should just call her friend that lives in New Haven to come and look after her. She was trying to protect the beast that had beaten her and left her for dead. We tried to reason with her because the man would certainly kill her sooner or later. She said he’s her husband and the father of her kids, bla bla bla. She told us that she’d been confronting him about a girl he’d been gallivanting openly with him, and that’s been the cause of all their issues.

She told me to use my number and call her husband because he doesn’t have me as a contact. I called him and told him the wife he tried to kill was in the hospital. He told me that she had better remain there because he’ll kill her if she ever comes near his house again. He hung up on me. She’s still insisting that he doesn’t mean it and she must go back once she’s discharged.

The issue now is, should we withdraw the police report or take the case up? The woman’s life is in danger and she doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of her situation, writing it off as momentary anger. I don’t know why women choose to remain in these violent situations even when they have children to live for. She’s not even thinking about her one-year-old who has been with me all weekend.

Mature advice is needed here. Pease push to front page. I don’t know if we’ll be overstepping our boundaries by trying to help her.

FatherBona:
You took the words out of my mouth.
That man has no regards for either her or her life and wants her out of his way the sooner the better.
If he kills her and gets caught, he goes to jail. What then becomes of the children.
Its an abusive relationship, she has pride issues in her family that's why she can't tell them.
She has to leave, no two ways about it.
Count your blessings, take those kids out and settle elsewhere. Forget about men and their troubles. You can survive without them.
Don't close the police case. He should be prosecuted for domestic abuse .

computergeek:
So I’ve never actually brought a personal issue to this forum, but this one is beyond me and I don’t know the best course of action to take here. I believe that there are people here who may have had a similar experience or might know what best to do. This may be a bit long.

So there’s this neighbor of mine whom I have an after-school agreement with. She’s a stay-at-home mum with two kids (a nursing baby and a four-year-old) while I have one child (also four). I usually leave my office at 4:00pm, so the agreement is, after-school at 12:30pm, I’ll go pick up the kids (they go to the same school) and return to work while she watches my son for me. I get my son his lunch and snacks before he goes there, even though she’s begged me to stop doing that, but I can’t saddle her with feeding a child that’s not hers.

The issue now is, a lot of violent things have happened in that house and as of this week, my son won’t be returning there. But I fear for the woman. Our homes are separated by a wall, but we often hear the arguing and crying sometimes. I knew she was having marital issues but I didn’t know the extent.

About two weeks ago, I went to get my son from the house and I noticed he wasn’t talking as usual. My son is the very boisterous type who likes to bounce as he walks, and he’ll usually try to take the key from my hand so he’ll open the door himself. That day, he wasn’t talking as usual. He seemed scared and shaken up. I knew the woman would sometimes punish the kids by asking them to kneel down when they fought, but she wouldn’t hit them. I asked him what the issue was, if anyone at school or home had been looking for his trouble, the guy said no.
He’s very close to his father (they are best friends), so when my husband came home I asked him to talk to the boy because he couldn’t choke his food down. After about a while, my son opened up. Apparently, he’d witnessed a very violent beating that he was struggling to find the right words to explain. He said that David’s father had been punching his mother in the passage with two hands at a time, and when she’d tried to run, he brought her back and beat her more. He said that he and David had to hide under the table because they were scared of getting hurt. He then said the mother raised a flower vase and hit him on his head, but the man continued beating her and shouting at her.

I didn’t know what to say. My son had witnessed a violent beating and it traumatized him. We soothed the boy and told him to forget about it. I then knew why the woman didn’t come out to hand him over as she usually did when I went to get him. He just came to me by himself.
The next day, I was skeptical about taking my son back there but he said he doesn’t want to stop playing with David and Sandra (the one-year-old baby). After school, I picked the boys up and drove them home. David’s mom came to the door and her face was badly bruised. I had to ask her what was wrong, but she hurriedly said she fell down and then took the kids from me.

On Friday last week, two days ago, the worst happened. It was around 3:00 or 3:30 when the woman called me at work. I picked the phone up and it was my son. He said that David’s mummy was lying on the floor and wasn’t opening her eyes. He said she was still moving but she couldn’t open her eyes. That blood was coming out her nose and mouth and their daddy had driven away. My heart literally flew out of my chest.

I called my husband as I was driving home and told him to meet us at the hospital. Long story cut short, she was badly battered and torn apart, almost about to give up life. I took her and all the kids to the hospital. While they were cleaning her wounds and hooking her up to the IV, I sorted out the bills. My husband tried to reach out to hers but he was rejecting the calls, so he went to make a statement at the area police command. They told us to contact them once she wakes up to give her statement. The police doesn’t usually like to dabble into marital issues but the woman was disfigured beyond imagination.

Sadly, you won’t believe what she said when she came to after a few hours. She started begging us to not report to anybody and not even call her family. That she’ll refund us the hospital bills and we should just call her friend that lives in New Haven to come and look after her. She was trying to protect the beast that had beaten her and left her for dead. We tried to reason with her because the man would certainly kill her sooner or later. She said he’s her husband and the father of her kids, bla bla bla. She told us that she’d been confronting him about a girl he’d been gallivanting openly with him, and that’s been the cause of all their issues.

She told me to use my number and call her husband because he doesn’t have me as a contact. I called him and told him the wife he tried to kill was in the hospital. He told me that she had better remain there because he’ll kill her if she ever comes near his house again. He hung up on me. She’s still insisting that he doesn’t mean it and she must go back once she’s discharged.

The issue now is, should we withdraw the police report or take the case up? The woman’s life is in danger and she doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of her situation, writing it off as momentary anger. I don’t know why women choose to remain in these violent situations even when they have children to live for. She’s not even thinking about her one-year-old who has been with me all weekend.

Mature advice is needed here. Pease push to front page. I don’t know if we’ll be overstepping our boundaries by trying to help her.

computergeek:
Babe me sef don tire. She's already seeing the repercussions of enduring domestic violence and how it affects her kids. I'm the one taking care of the baby while David is in the hospital with her. They are already suffering.

This kain matter just tire me. Her family is too local and would try to make peace and return her there.

Ishilove
Pocohantas
Naptu2

I need mature advice.

BRATISLAVA:
nobody is asking to hear his side of the story. Maybe she's a nag. Maybe she opened legs for another man. It could be that her tongue is acid and the man reacted. These women can make a kitten become a tiger with their mouths. Who knows if she hit him first. She set him up. Where are the men with these questions? Waiting for them.

computergeek:
So I’ve never actually brought a personal issue to this forum, but this one is beyond me and I don’t know the best course of action to take here. I believe that there are people here who may have had a similar experience or might know what best to do. This may be a bit long.

So there’s this neighbor of mine whom I have an after-school agreement with. She’s a stay-at-home mum with two kids (a nursing baby and a four-year-old) while I have one child (also four). I usually leave my office at 4:00pm, so the agreement is, after-school at 12:30pm, I’ll go pick up the kids (they go to the same school) and return to work while she watches my son for me. I get my son his lunch and snacks before he goes there, even though she’s begged me to stop doing that, but I can’t saddle her with feeding a child that’s not hers.

The issue now is, a lot of violent things have happened in that house and as of this week, my son won’t be returning there. But I fear for the woman. Our homes are separated by a wall, but we often hear the arguing and crying sometimes. I knew she was having marital issues but I didn’t know the extent.

About two weeks ago, I went to get my son from the house and I noticed he wasn’t talking as usual. My son is the very boisterous type who likes to bounce as he walks, and he’ll usually try to take the key from my hand so he’ll open the door himself. That day, he wasn’t talking as usual. He seemed scared and shaken up. I knew the woman would sometimes punish the kids by asking them to kneel down when they fought, but she wouldn’t hit them. I asked him what the issue was, if anyone at school or home had been looking for his trouble, the guy said no.
He’s very close to his father (they are best friends), so when my husband came home I asked him to talk to the boy because he couldn’t choke his food down. After about a while, my son opened up. Apparently, he’d witnessed a very violent beating that he was struggling to find the right words to explain. He said that David’s father had been punching his mother in the passage with two hands at a time, and when she’d tried to run, he brought her back and beat her more. He said that he and David had to hide under the table because they were scared of getting hurt. He then said the mother raised a flower vase and hit him on his head, but the man continued beating her and shouting at her.

I didn’t know what to say. My son had witnessed a violent beating and it traumatized him. We soothed the boy and told him to forget about it. I then knew why the woman didn’t come out to hand him over as she usually did when I went to get him. He just came to me by himself.
The next day, I was skeptical about taking my son back there but he said he doesn’t want to stop playing with David and Sandra (the one-year-old baby). After school, I picked the boys up and drove them home. David’s mom came to the door and her face was badly bruised. I had to ask her what was wrong, but she hurriedly said she fell down and then took the kids from me.

On Friday last week, two days ago, the worst happened. It was around 3:00 or 3:30 when the woman called me at work. I picked the phone up and it was my son. He said that David’s mummy was lying on the floor and wasn’t opening her eyes. He said she was still moving but she couldn’t open her eyes. That blood was coming out her nose and mouth and their daddy had driven away. My heart literally flew out of my chest.

I called my husband as I was driving home and told him to meet us at the hospital. Long story cut short, she was badly battered and torn apart, almost about to give up life. I took her and all the kids to the hospital. While they were cleaning her wounds and hooking her up to the IV, I sorted out the bills. My husband tried to reach out to hers but he was rejecting the calls, so he went to make a statement at the area police command. They told us to contact them once she wakes up to give her statement. The police doesn’t usually like to dabble into marital issues but the woman was disfigured beyond imagination.

Sadly, you won’t believe what she said when she came to after a few hours. She started begging us to not report to anybody and not even call her family. That she’ll refund us the hospital bills and we should just call her friend that lives in New Haven to come and look after her. She was trying to protect the beast that had beaten her and left her for dead. We tried to reason with her because the man would certainly kill her sooner or later. She said he’s her husband and the father of her kids, bla bla bla. She told us that she’d been confronting him about a girl he’d been gallivanting openly with him, and that’s been the cause of all their issues.

She told me to use my number and call her husband because he doesn’t have me as a contact. I called him and told him the wife he tried to kill was in the hospital. He told me that she had better remain there because he’ll kill her if she ever comes near his house again. He hung up on me. She’s still insisting that he doesn’t mean it and she must go back once she’s discharged.

The issue now is, should we withdraw the police report or take the case up? The woman’s life is in danger and she doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of her situation, writing it off as momentary anger. I don’t know why women choose to remain in these violent situations even when they have children to live for. She’s not even thinking about her one-year-old who has been with me all weekend.

Mature advice is needed here. Pease push to front page. I don’t know if we’ll be overstepping our boundaries by trying to help her.

marvelous000:
Beating her is bad enough, but beating her in front of his kids, is unforgivable and untenable.
The only question here is the veracity of Op's account, and if there's nothing mendacious in her account, then he should be abhorred with the profoundest contempt reserved for malicious bush animal that is better quarantined than left at large.

Hangulsaram:
Is that all you could say? Let’s assume that all you said are truth, so she deserve to die by beating?

Midas01:
Why are you making contrasting comments?

Midas01:
I need to be with my fellow mad people at yabaleft. I should Allow sane people to discuss and where I don't understand sarcasm or other literary tools,I should shut up so that nobody else can tell I'm insane.

Midas01:
I am a mad man. I pray such happens to me.

CeterisXVII:
Any man that says such things should be jailed. What kind of irresponsible talk is that? Does that justify the kind of beating he gave her? Why not divorce her or send her packing? Why resort to violence?

cococandy:
Ode

computergeek:
So I’ve never actually brought a personal issue to this forum, but this one is beyond me and I don’t know the best course of action to take here. I believe that there are people here who may have had a similar experience or might know what best to do. This may be a bit long.

So there’s this neighbor of mine whom I have an after-school agreement with. She’s a stay-at-home mum with two kids (a nursing baby and a four-year-old) while I have one child (also four). I usually leave my office at 4:00pm, so the agreement is, after-school at 12:30pm, I’ll go pick up the kids (they go to the same school) and return to work while she watches my son for me. I get my son his lunch and snacks before he goes there, even though she’s begged me to stop doing that, but I can’t saddle her with feeding a child that’s not hers.

The issue now is, a lot of violent things have happened in that house and as of this week, my son won’t be returning there. But I fear for the woman. Our homes are separated by a wall, but we often hear the arguing and crying sometimes. I knew she was having marital issues but I didn’t know the extent.

About two weeks ago, I went to get my son from the house and I noticed he wasn’t talking as usual. My son is the very boisterous type who likes to bounce as he walks, and he’ll usually try to take the key from my hand so he’ll open the door himself. That day, he wasn’t talking as usual. He seemed scared and shaken up. I knew the woman would sometimes punish the kids by asking them to kneel down when they fought, but she wouldn’t hit them. I asked him what the issue was, if anyone at school or home had been looking for his trouble, the guy said no.
He’s very close to his father (they are best friends), so when my husband came home I asked him to talk to the boy because he couldn’t choke his food down. After about a while, my son opened up. Apparently, he’d witnessed a very violent beating that he was struggling to find the right words to explain. He said that David’s father had been punching his mother in the passage with two hands at a time, and when she’d tried to run, he brought her back and beat her more. He said that he and David had to hide under the table because they were scared of getting hurt. He then said the mother raised a flower vase and hit him on his head, but the man continued beating her and shouting at her.

I didn’t know what to say. My son had witnessed a violent beating and it traumatized him. We soothed the boy and told him to forget about it. I then knew why the woman didn’t come out to hand him over as she usually did when I went to get him. He just came to me by himself.
The next day, I was skeptical about taking my son back there but he said he doesn’t want to stop playing with David and Sandra (the one-year-old baby). After school, I picked the boys up and drove them home. David’s mom came to the door and her face was badly bruised. I had to ask her what was wrong, but she hurriedly said she fell down and then took the kids from me.

On Friday last week, two days ago, the worst happened. It was around 3:00 or 3:30 when the woman called me at work. I picked the phone up and it was my son. He said that David’s mummy was lying on the floor and wasn’t opening her eyes. He said she was still moving but she couldn’t open her eyes. That blood was coming out her nose and mouth and their daddy had driven away. My heart literally flew out of my chest.

I called my husband as I was driving home and told him to meet us at the hospital. Long story cut short, she was badly battered and torn apart, almost about to give up life. I took her and all the kids to the hospital. While they were cleaning her wounds and hooking her up to the IV, I sorted out the bills. My husband tried to reach out to hers but he was rejecting the calls, so he went to make a statement at the area police command. They told us to contact them once she wakes up to give her statement. The police doesn’t usually like to dabble into marital issues but the woman was disfigured beyond imagination.

Sadly, you won’t believe what she said when she came to after a few hours. She started begging us to not report to anybody and not even call her family. That she’ll refund us the hospital bills and we should just call her friend that lives in New Haven to come and look after her. She was trying to protect the beast that had beaten her and left her for dead. We tried to reason with her because the man would certainly kill her sooner or later. She said he’s her husband and the father of her kids, bla bla bla. She told us that she’d been confronting him about a girl he’d been gallivanting openly with him, and that’s been the cause of all their issues.

She told me to use my number and call her husband because he doesn’t have me as a contact. I called him and told him the wife he tried to kill was in the hospital. He told me that she had better remain there because he’ll kill her if she ever comes near his house again. He hung up on me. She’s still insisting that he doesn’t mean it and she must go back once she’s discharged.

The issue now is, should we withdraw the police report or take the case up? The woman’s life is in danger and she doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of her situation, writing it off as momentary anger. I don’t know why women choose to remain in these violent situations even when they have children to live for. She’s not even thinking about her one-year-old who has been with me all weekend.

Mature advice is needed here. Pease push to front page. I don’t know if we’ll be overstepping our boundaries by trying to help her.

BRATISLAVA:
you didn't get the sarcasm

decrownprince:
Have handled a similar case while in Gombe Police Command. The police can't really do much if the woman doesn't corporate. If by chance the police get enough evidence and arrest the husband, he will be charge to court for causing grievous hurt, attempted homicide, domestic violent etc which on conviction he will be send to prison for a very long time. Now if that happen, the wife will blame you, the wife will tell everyone that care to listen that you refuse to mind your business and send her husband to prison, she will also tell her children how you send their daddy to prison. If the lady is unable to take care of herself and her kids she will blame you. The world will turn against you for sending someone husband to prison and letting the wife suffer. The only thing you can do is to inform the lady family and let them look into it and find a solution. Sometimes we get into trouble when trying to help someone.

Duggedised12:
this is not the time nor the place for sarcasm shuo ,na was for you o