₦airaland Forum

Dpharisee:
I did the same thing, called her family that I was sending her back. They called her and I gave them my condition for continuing with the marriage and the consequences of violating the terms of the agreement, now she control her emotions better.
I even went to court to start divorce proceedings but stopped midway.
I was like a sissy in the marriage for long until I woke up one day and decided to take full control of my house.

Her family were shocked by my sudden change, she attacked me and I gave her serious 'controlled' beating, by controlled beating I mean she pushed me to the wall but physically I was very angry and vibrating but in my heart I was loving her but had to show her my strength as a man and to let her understand how it felt inflicting harm on our maids.
Never beat a woman, but if it's the last option only do it when you are not reacting in anger but pretending to be angry.
She tried to blackmail me into apologizing but I never did, for sometime now she has been abiding by the tenets of the agreement and I try to encourage her, watch her mood changes and how to keep it in check, it has not been easy but it's better now.

Gud2knw the situation is getting beta buh don't relax yet, you'll av to mask ur love for her much longer ... what could possibly resuscitate are love n craving for you @these times is her worries & doubt u don't send her anymore.
i don't need to say much, seems you figure how to be a man out already. gudluck

baby124:
This is not depression. This lady is extremely violent, paranoid and lacks empathy. She’s not depressed. She has other serious mental health problems that OP cannot manage without psychiatric help.

Very true. She definitely has issues that needs psychiatric help. I have been around similar people, and when the OP said she accused him of sleeping with his nieces, I knew right away the woman has serious mental issues.

It is well

baby124:
This is not depression. Depression by its very meaning is that you are in a depressed state. Not someone who is this active, fighting, harming, lack of remorse... doesn’t care even if her children eat!!! Paranoid. Are you joking? We are so quick to ascribe depression as a blanket illness when there are so many different mental illnesses out there.

GBAMMEST!!! Thanks for schooling that girl, but I know she wont accept being wrong.

Oga u have to be careful and vigilant before iether her attitude make u comit suicide or she poisoned u... Try as possible to make urself happy and train ur children urself... Try involve two or three elderly Pple to make peace but if she doesn't change her attitude.... My brother run for ur deal lifeooo... Such woman are very toxic and easily kill and frame up their story.... Am even afraid of getting married.... After all the stress one goes thru in Lego's ur wife still carry her own join...

[s]

kings2079:
big bros am not married yet, but if I eventually married this kind of woman, here is how I will solve the problem: do not divorce her, you are blessed already with 3 kids. just ignore her attitude and character; you need to live like a single father, don't pay attention to her for now, just do the right things, take care of the kids, do house chores, you will need humility and don't cheat on her. just focus on your work and kids. be happy and complete without her, and always put her in prayer. Be kind to her, just let her be for now. She will eventually come back to her senses. it's just time it will take. just wait for the spell to clear.

[/s] Please don't get married with this mentality before we read of your demise on nairaland. The one and only option for a violent wife is DIVORCE. Or better still go and become a Rev Father(priest).

How could u open your eyes and marry a demon..I think the worst thing that can happen to anybody in this life is marrying a wrong partner. U are killing yourself with all these things. U NEED to divorce her as she doesn't add anything positive to your life

Try going on a vacation with her if you still love her but if symptoms persist go see your lawyer

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

Officialgarri:
Tell her you have made up your mind to marry a younger wife. Eat outside, come home late. I hope she will begin to use her senses

so u want the op to be killed in his sleep abi??�

I have a girl that my instinct is telling me will be exactly like this .... Though she has the Charisma to cover the negative sides but Red flag is red for me .... Once I see Red flag I japa unless there are other Juicies enough to cover the redness and it ain't beyond my management!!


A beast woman will either turn you to a beast like her or Hurt you till depression set in !!

firstly, you married a bad wife. secondly, you were releasing sperm in d woman when your baby was stil sucking breast?biologically,your baby was sucking yur sperm with breastmilk. thirdly, i am puzzled to advise u because yur wife is unremoseful. if i advise you to shun her and do yur thing alone, she wont give a Bleep bout u and she might start fucking outside. this is a toxis marriage. may God help u bro

Kindly send your nieces back to their parents.

Withdraw the live-in maid and let her come in daily for cleaning.

Let your kids start spending their holiday with your parents or older siblings if possible

Then you and your wife can use one of those free time to address the issues.

@op only one solution dont divorce,rent another house without her knowin..move u and ur kids into the house and look for a sibling like your younger sister or niece who is matured to take care of them..note never allow a stranger take care of them..most preferably make sure there is a good school around there with facilties for adult supervision after school.. ur wife is
a time bomb loading.. i pray God delivers her from whatever is tormenting her..

Divorce Her Asap.She's Evil

eni4real:
Not only her..
Many ladies' opinions on this topic impress me...
There is hope for marriage in this Country afterall...
Everyone supports wholesome marriage without manipulation.. Lovely

I swear not only u, av bn readin tru all bfor i slpt and i must say their coments drops my jaw, i tot dey would go with their usual side taking techniques even wen its very clear dat the acused is faulty on all fronts.

Maybe d ladies are just trying to counter the men here to salvage some egos dats why dey make outrageously baised coments at tyms, and who knows, it might actually b d fault of the men here.

Laslas just pamper dem and i asure u dey wil loose all guards

Sorry oga ur wife is a feminist ,na her type dey pray for the death of their mother in-law so that they could deal with their husband without any intervention

stinflame:
You apologizing after beating her shows you are a good man. Truth be told a man like me will never do it provided that her accusation have been on for a long time.

For goodness sake what did she take u for. A sleep around. Definitely that is a disrespect to me and I will never take that.
Sorry but she have to learn the hard way. Involve her parents into the situation, if she truely wants it to work out she will harken to their advice. And if the parents choice to side their daughter. Am sorry you in for it. And divorce looks like ur bet.
The truth is only a woman can make it work. It's easier for a woman to kick up a conversation with her husband after a quarrel. Using her feminine influence, and the man will gladly join her. And all things are resolved.
But if your wife is hard hearted. It will be something else.

it takes divine wisdom for a man to know the underlying reason for a woman's actions..despite all her fault,trust me there is always a niggling itty bitty reason it all started..something the op either doesnt know or has forgotten as s.thing inconsequential.. i hope it aint too late

olabrinks:
I honestly think your wife is suffering from serious depression, she’s not happy deep down inside and they’re some internal issues bothering her. She’s taking it out on you and everyone around her. The problem started once children came into the picture, she’s probably feeling the same regret you are feeling. This is not the time to divorce, this is the time for communication. This is the time for patience. This is the time for understanding. This is the time for wisdom. You are the man of the house, you need to take control of your territory.

If it means her getting help for depression, taking medication such as anti depressants let her do it. If it means going for therapy/counselling, then do it. If it means involving a third party who can transfer wisdom to you, then do it. If it means sitting down and communicating one on one thoroughly then do it. This is not the time to run away from your problems, you will find more problems leaving your wife and children in the long run. Once you cure the root of your problem, you will live peacefully.

madam or oga inspirational speaker..... Don't deceive yourself or this innocent and good man, he is hard working and deserve a good, caring and understanding wife by his side.
This man has seen it all excerpt you want him to die before his time. I even pity him, his story makes me feel endless very very grateful to God that I married the best wife.

My brother, it is time to make use of your head, boycott her food, stay late out, transfer every atom of love you have in your soul to your kids only visibly, threaten her with all manner of seriousness that you have decided to bring home a second wife that will bring you peace of mind, loyalty and love, That from the look of things she has refused to give it to you reasons best known to her.

That you will also make your intentions known to her parents and yours too.

Immediately, go see her parents and your parents and disclose this false plan,
Tell them that it is the last chance your giving to her. Be a man ooh.. Your the one suffering it alone at home.

Come and thank me later.

If she does not change after this... Bros, Divorce her, She is lost and continuously living with her will most certainly end "like he was beating her and she stab him in self defense" death is certain.

A wife that is disloyal to a faithful and hard working man no matter his income is a ticking time bomb. Be very very care with a wife that is not loyal to you.
Hmmm she go kill you oooh....!!!!

As it is now, she is not loyal, the love and care in her for you is dead, wives only disrespect men they don't love and care about. Be warned bro.

Brother, your wife is possessed by some demons. One of the demons is a Lion demon. 2nd is Pig or swine demon and 3rd is a spirit husband. All you need is to have her delivered by a very strong Deliverance Man of God. You can contact me. Or better Still, try Prophet TB Joshua. It's more of a spiritual problem than a physical one. And if you don't handle it now it will soon Attack your finances and return you to a begger. You are sharing your Wife with a spirit man that you cannot see. Act fast. God bless you you..!

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

The second I saw 'lazy', I knew it would just be a matter of time before trouble will brew.
She is just a bad woman, period.
In as much as I hate external interference, you may have to resort to this.

mkoabiola:
Even wen she is misbehaving u stil got her pregnant under 6months wen things are falling apart......



God go help una

this part got me oooo... I couldn't stop laughing.

You have to look for a marriage counselor to counsel you, because divorce is not an option, that's why one has to pray before saying I do, if that does not work, report her to her parents to talk to her and then meet your pastors to talk sense to her, you shouldn't be suffering in your marriage, it's meant for enjoyment.

All thee rubbish long talk. You can save us all and your life by divorcing that modafoka you call wife.




Listen, she will soon be violent towards you and she will find a way to spin it all against you. Be wise




Divorce HER NOW

mechanics:
You have to look for a marriage counselor to counsel you, because divorce is not an option, that's why one has to pray before saying I do, if that does not work, report her to her parents to talk to her and then meet your pastors to talk sense to her, you shouldn't be suffering in your marriage, it's meant for enjoyment.

why did you say divorce is not an option?

mc cashman mc cashman mc cashman ... how many times did call you , three times... your life is in danger like a prisoner , your wife does not love you anymore she is laziest among the lazy ones ,, your wife is hot temper , guys have stated telling her queen of.my heart ,, she don't bloody care about you ,,, I advised you to report this ridiculous behaviour to her parent and also your if any thing does work out it ,,, pls brother I no wan come here one nairalander diel oooooo just break up jeje I mean run for your life ooooo ... if this woman does not change that means devil don settle you b that ooo toh

tosynbaba:
why did you say divorce is not an option?

God is against it, read your Bible well, and whoever does that won't make heaven except the person returns to his or her partner.

My brother,the best advice I can give you is that if it costs you your peace of mind then it's not worth it.

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

When will nairaland stop posting stories from a pu**y carrying on as a Man.

You have been in the same house with your wife for 4months without speaking to each other, she comes home whenever she wants, she is violent and you're here asking for advice on what to do?

You must be stupid. REally reallly stupid. Mtshew

U don’t want involve third party. But uve involved thousands of Nairalanders. That’s a good start. Better call family meeting cos last last it will land on ur head if u take any decision dat doesn’t favor her. This ur marriage is scary cos ur woman is heartless. She can runaway with d kids sef. But u let dis linger for long o.

Crownbefitsme:
Don’t know how true is dis story
But if is true
That your wife is mean
Stop giving her attention
Start eating outside
Till she is ready to make peace
But give her money for feeding
Stay in a different room with her
N be happy
She never ready for marriage

Obviously made up

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

I have always said that Marriage is a life of it's own and a world of it's own.
People changes in marriage and not that Marriage Changes people.
The hidden characters of your wife is what you are now seeing in your Marriage with her.
It will be better for you to report her to her family, this is touch, this is what usually leads to domestic violence even though you have already hit her once.
She is going too far.
Report her