₦airaland Forum

NiCurious:
She is already never home to share each other's company, you already have house help for chores, you already aren't having sex any more...what is left?

It boils down to this...if she were no longer in your house, ie. you get a divorce, what would be different, except for no more arguments?

Ladycewhy:
it was,have a great day.

tosynbaba:
hahahaahhahahaaahahahahhhahahahhaha



So you mean you'd agree to live the rest of your life in misery because of a book written by your fellow men over 2000 years ago?




Don't be ridiculous

Mrcashman87:
My wife is 29 and I am 32

Blinkers:
Fill that diary, you lil bîtch!

LoneWolf200:
Itz a pity you didnt do what you are supposed to do at the right time, unfortunately late for you!!!
My point is this; Can you now realise the essence of praying for God to choose spouse for you? Out of your ill love you would say you love her she loves you in the first instance not knowing itz just only a layer that wont last long.

Warning- For the upcoming couples; pray for God's decision, stop chosing with your carnal brain.

Ire o

Filmewell:
Psychopath. Thank your God that I am the physician who is able to finally diagnose you correctly. so go and tell your mummy to find help because you need it.

Mrcashman87:
I have texted twice to say we need to talk for her to ignore the text. I am feeling really down dont know what I have done to her to deserve this treatment. I'm going to try talking to her one last time I think and if I dont get any form of positive response then i will call for family meetings and I will have to end marriage.

Guest007:
You are not going through this, it's an obvious copy and paste job but you have brought a valid discussion to the forum and I thank you for that.

There's no way on earth that you are experiencing this issue and you're probably single but the story was juicy

Blinkers:


Filmewell

Chubhie:
FBI don burst am

Mindfulness:

sophy17:
Sorry if you feel offended by that. So I change it to "our" or "their" house. But truth be told, the man is the head of the house and it was in that light I made the statement. Afterall, there cannot be two captain in a ship.

Camberlo:
Frankly speaking lots of men are passing through hell in marriage all in the name of children are involved and don't want to divorce.

My case looks like yours but mine is different because my woman have nobody to fight or injured, occasionally she spit venom on the two kids we have, by maltreating and reluctant to cook for them.

But my case have long have solution, because my religion allowed me to take another woman as wife which I did and am happy and left her with her altitude.

No communication, no food, no sex, nothing between except living in my house to look after our kids.

My second wife live in another apartment.

Conclusively, am planning of divorcing her finally, to set her free but I still love my two kids and the kids love me.

Just last week I got a call from my brother of their plan with her mother to visit our house for settlement which am not happy about, because I have made up my mind.

God, please save and protect married men out there.

BLUELemon:
It's not that hard to advise you but you will still do what you intend to do.
Whatever decision you decide to make kindly put your 3 kids in consideration.

Guest007:
Bruv... He could lead what or who he wants but the brick and water belongs to the family. Stop this bs mantra of returning to some man's house or the other!

African women should invest in properties

sophy17:
[s]
A man's money belongs to the family. Yes, its fine and ok with everyome but a woman's money is not so, and that's what needs to stop.
As for me, whatever I have belongs to my family-wife n kids. It does not change the fact that its still my house and the things inside it including my wife and kids.[/s]

Guest007:
Check his replies.. I'm not convinced hun

Filmewell:
Is that all?. I was expecting more b,i,tches sentences. Please don't stop on my account.

chrismymen:
Story story.
My brother you are not alone [color=#000099][/color]

I got married late 2018, I could not live with my wife for even 90days
Our problem start few weeks after weddings, we cant argee on any thing together as husband and wife, I also discovered that most of the things my wife told me about her where lies . Can you image lying with pregnancy, Age, Educational qualifications.( On my mind I done enter 1 chance.)
We start counselling 201 because the once we did before wedding was not enough.
I wanted to make it clear to my wife that lying to me will destroy trust between us which can damage the relationship.
We are in marriage already let us find a ways to make peace and live happily together.

Early this year 2019 Jenuary we had a argument which I did not handle maturely, that was the last time I saw my wife.
What was the arugment about?
I came back from work met her at home early. So I step out to a close friend who live around our house to watch football. When I came back to the house about 9:00 pm, our door was locked, I nocked the door perhaps she has slept off.
I discovered she was not at home.
I called many times but there was no answer.
After about an hour, I sent her a text message that I was out side because I did not go out with my keys. When I called again she answered and said she is coming.
11:pm I was still out side waiting,
I became very anger
When she finally came it was 11.05 pm
Out of anger I collected the keys from her and ask her to go back to where she was coming from.

That was the last time I saw my wife
The family came two weeks later with her to pack her things.
That if I want my wife back, I should come and re-marry her again.
I am 34yr my wife should be 29-31yrs.
Since Jenuary 2019 till now we are not together.
What should I do.

khaleesi:
Both you, your wife and her family are at fault here.
You should have been patient to ask her where she was and why she was away for that long. She ought to have known that you acted out of anger by asking her to go back to where she is coming from. If my husband was to act the way you did, I would just tell him this is my house too and enter the house, no need for too much drama. He definitely wont raise his hands on me or drag me out, so except you got violent with her I do not see why she should take your word for it and leave when you asked her to. Finally, her people ought to have listened to your own side of the story and try to resolve it rather than acting like they have been waiting for the marriage to pack up. As for what to do? January is a long time, You should reach out to her and see how she responds. She may be missing you as well. You can win her over again and then both of your meet her family to let them know you have reconciled.

wirinet:
Unless you are the actual khaleesi (Daenerys Targaryen ), you cannot get away with such effrontery. How can a married woman stroll out of her house without the Husbands knowledge, and stroll in at 11:00 pm without any explanation, and don't expect the husband to get angry?

Since she has been away from her matrimonial home for close to 10 months, it means she does not care for the marriage. The guy should just move one and find a woman who would respect him.
What exactly do you want him to do to win her back? Apologize for getting angry for coming in at 10pm without explanation. Maybe he can promise to allow her sleep out and come the next morning.
I remember when I was befriending a stubborn girl who was living with me. She no know say as far as stubbornes, she dey learn (according to Omatsola. Waffi guys no dey hear word.
She usually goes to her sister place and usually come back home by 8pm, one day she came in at 11pm. Even though I knew she was likely at her sisters house, I refused to open the door. I told her to go back to her sisters house. She got the our neighbours to beg. After much begging, I opened the door as I was highly embarrassed. Next day I told her to just pack her things and start living with her sister. That evening, she came with her sister and both promised me, that such incident would never repeat itself again.

I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

ednut1:
the stories i have read here is making me feel i should not marry and marriage is a scam. with all the problem in life person go add wife wahala join. our mothers and grandmas really tried

MhizGladys:
Seriously, I'm having Gamophobia

MhizGladys:
Seriously, I'm having Gamophobia

Shugargal:
Your wife has the qualities of a cancer zodiac sign.. if you don't know about that, please go study about them, they're very difficult people to be with, anger, dirty, manipulative, sensitive, unapologetic, unforgiving, will always make you a victim of their wrongs,any small thing they run back to their shell as crab is the symbol of their sign. beware!

kizwal:
Its always best to hear the two sides to a marriage issue but if the many cases of violence on your wife's part is true,you guys need some space. The violence isn't good for you or the kids,there is a reason why separation is first recommended by law. Note..it is better when a woman is more interested in saving her marriage because it is natural to them but when it's just the man,you will suffer and be miserable. Take action now,be firm and separate first,so that everyone can evaluate things properly because that violence is very very dangerous ,don't trivialise it.