₦airaland Forum

@ madridguy
you deserve some accolades.

kaywhy09:
These kinds of people are toxic. I almost end up getting hooked with one. They don't really care about your real status, they see the well to do with as their debtor. May God save us from the toxic relatives, or perhaps, possess wisdom to safe one self.

So much o. Avoid them right from the beginning if you can.

Moboj:
Thank you jare
Forget it some people don't have love for their siblings
There's nothing like natural phenomenon in love,if love is absent,it's absent
People like that the thing that can make them come and start doing normal normal back to you or over normal sef is a sense of competition, you can imagine nonsense

inside life my dear.life is fully per head.

1Sharon:
If money wasn't the issue. He wouldn't have titled the topic, my RICH brother.

You need to learn to read between the lines.

You need to learn to look before you leap,read the content before you quote next time,don’t just read the headline and rush to comment.

Angelfrost:
You can't compel love and companionship... Family is different from friendship... Your true family are your close friends, not exactly members of the same household.

That said, your brother has chosen his true "family"... Respect that, pray for him, and leave him to it!!!

You should go and build your own circle of love and companionship (FAMILY)!!!

Every man should learn to walk his God-given and distinct path in life. Your true success is within, work it out!!!... Be focused and encouraged!!!

Bad advise

johnmba:
I had to explain to give you background of what happened at the early stage.

But we have good relationship with the wife now.

You sound as if we are begging him money. Nobody is begging him for money.

By the grace of God am feeding more than 10 people and I have people on payroll monthly.

What am asking is how to establish the family bond again

Modify your topic to "My Brother Doesn't Care About Us".

Lose the "Rich" as it is one of the reasons you're getting a lot of attacks (mostly from the females who obviously perceive your kind as threats to their marital happiness and total ownership of their husbands) than constructive help.

johnmba:
Did u read the post. Nobody is asking him for money

u never see anythg my own sister we Dey Dey 1yr she no go call anybody me no go call her too.im not talking of money nobody can give me the kind of money I need.

johnmba:
He did not deprive himself anything. He works with shell(manager) and helps alot of people in the company. Sometimes people he helped wondered why am working in a hospital for someone that read engineering.

Then the people your brother once helped should help you too.

shogsman:
You need to learn to look before you leap,read the content before you quote next time,don’t just read the headline and rush to comment.

Who told you I didn't read the content? The content still confirmed that OP is interested in money.

Again, read between the lines.

madridguy:
Is your mum still alive?

I keep laughing at people saying the OP should leave his brother alone and work for himself.

To me, in life we all need someone to lean on to climb our own ladder. A good example is Linda Ikeji, may God continue to bless her. I believe she hustle her way alone, but immediately she got to the top she never neglected her siblings. God bless her more.

I'm sure we all have different background and upbringing but none of my siblings can do this. We have community training and my father of blessed memory used to ring it to our ears before he passed on. He used to say, i pray you all get to the top, but you all cannot get there at once, but whoever get there first must make sure he/she help others. This is our motor in my own family.

Ma G when you are not supporting Buhari you have sense ooo..just compare how you get likes when you are not supporting Buhari

IFELEKE:
I think it's more than what you wrote up here...a crisis or badly managed dispute apparently led to this present resentment.
Get people he respects alot involved, you may also involve your parents.
You need to act fast also before it becomes irredeemable.

It's well!

It's indeed a sad situation-the lose of filial love and bond never minding the cause. It's like a sear in the heart.

After a while, you beging to ask yourself "what are we even fighting about" and would be ready to do anything to make things up, but, like you rightly said, if one doesn't act fast, it becomes too late and evolves into a generational showdown. And when this happens...it is over.

You are an adult and not your brothers responsibility, let him live his life the way he wants to and you live yours. His behaviour should be an incentive for you to work harder.

johnmba:
Did u read the post. Nobody is asking him for money

pls.stop replying everybody.
If You guys have tried,then ignore him.Everybody should.One day he will realise the importance of family.

peeps4u:
From your post, his withdrawal started since his marital choice. I advise the family, siblings and parents, begin to show his wife love. You can't have your brother's ears when he still feels you all hate his wife.

I'm beginning to think the wife has nothing to do with this.

The issue is with the man. You may be surprised how hard the woman is fighting for the family but Oga, nor gree, he prefers to hide behind the "Una no accept my wife" pillar thus placing suspicion on the innocent wife. A lot of women are suffering for things they are totally innocent of in today:s marriages.

vikkyndu:
I have experienced this, trust me, I resulted to brain reset, my primary responsibility is first to my immediate family, my wife and my children, then to my mum, if she decides to give them all I give her good luck, anything outside this will be voluntary contributions not mandatory responsibility. I hope this help you.

The family you created are your immediate family.

johnmba:
Nb.
Nobody is calling him to ask for money. Am an engineer but works in a hospital. All we want is that brotherly love. Since I finished school I have not asked him for money likewise some of my siblings.

How do we bring him back

Almost all your talk is focused on his money. Why mention he being the richest and all that?.... what that has to do with bringing back the love from 15 years ago? You are all grown.... graduates.... you don't ask for money...but visit often and accept lunch money...why not refuse it?... eat before you go instead of arriving and clutching your stomach forming starvation. Not all of you ask for money... some do. As I see it... he has a problem with you guys and entitlement. ... all grown graduates... battle your way through life like men ... the quicker you guys can stop looking at his possessions... the quicker beggarly brotherly love will return.

CanadianNaija:
Then call him, and check on him. Just don’t visit him and take the gist of his house to go and gossip back home. He gives you money to eat out, but you had to point out that his wife doesn’t like to cook, I wonder how that’s your problem when you’re not her husband.

animal talking I know is u dats d broda wife. how can u marry and hate to cook for inlaw. any woman who do DAT is mad

johnmba:
All I explained happened some years back.

We don't depend on him for money. We are all hustling our own but he is our brother. I don't call him to ask for money but I should be able to call my own blood brother and talk with him.

You already said that when you were growing up, there wasn’t really any relationship. What makes you think anything is going to change now?

johnmba:
Thank you bro. Pls how do I go about it

Most second borns are like that. Close to the first born and arrogant to the rest. He would have been closer to your parents if not for that incident of marriage. But the problem is they hardly forgive and forget.

ahiboilandgas:
hustle you own money he will relate fine with you ..my elder bros started exhibiting same character after working for the United nation as a lt -col but my sister hubby became the c.s.o to an oil rich state , then I hustle my way up I moved my income from 70k monthly to 1.2m monthly then our last born got job in first bank Dubai his calm him down

Baba is your name " from glory to glory "?

Blackfinegirl:
Exactly something must have happened. He said when they were growing up, the brother was not close to them.

Op, How did your parents bring you guys up, did they bring you guys up in love? Some parents encourage discord amongst their children directly or indirectly.

I have noticed that less privileged parents with many kids do not really pay attention to their children until one starts making money.

Also the topic says "MY RICH", so I believe this thing is centred around money, trust me if he was broke, you will not Care. I understand this story because my coudin married into a family like the ops family. Nine kids and her young husband already has high BP because of demands from his family. The siblings have refused to do anything with their lifes. They are in the village waiting for chop money.

You're very on point. Probably the man was neglected, not shown equal love, compared to his mates when he never blow, not supported when he needed them, backstabbed or even abused physically, mentally or emotionally. Everything built up over time. Only if we can hear his own side. I'm sure they might not be as concerned if he wasn't as successful. Inside five alive

madridguy:
Is your mum still alive?

I keep laughing at people saying the OP should leave his brother alone and work for himself.

To me, in life we all need someone to lean on to climb our own ladder. A good example is Linda Ikeji, may God continue to bless her. I believe she hustle her way alone, but immediately she got to the top she never neglected her siblings. God bless her more.

I'm sure we all have different background and upbringing but none of my siblings can do this. We have community training and my father of blessed memory used to ring it to our ears before he passed on. He used to say, i pray you all get to the top, but you all cannot get there at once, but whoever get there first must make sure he/she help others. This is our motor in my own family.

With these, I swear I don't mind taking u out... when we remember our own blood God will definitely see reasons to elevate us more

grandstar:
The writer of this post johnmba is writing based on his sojourn in Canada. I'm sure there is a deluge of people on his neck everyday asking him for money from Nigeria.

He is probably in the same position as your brother. It isn't easy.

Anyway, that said, it is your duty to make yourself successful and not your brother. That is your motto. Once you feel he isn't keen on helping, then consider that you're on your own. Stop this whingeing and whining and triple your hustle. Pretend he doesn't exist and move on (Read Ecclesiastes 3:6)

Lol...On the contrary, I don’t have a parasitic family o.
Everyone in my family sorts themselves out, and we plenty. We also come together to help with the parents when we need to, not leaving it for one person.

But I have seen my father experience being bread winner, and he taught us to be the way we are.
My father sacrificed his life for his extended family, and until now that he’s retired and we are all adults them never still stand, they still shamelessly ask him for money.

Over the years, money for business, single handedly carrying all family burial so that his colleagues won’t be embarrassed when they attend, paying off his sisters dowry because they don’t care that their parents are being embarrassed in kinsmen meetings, building house and being told after that the land cant go to a sixth son because it’s on prime location.

It just led to jealousy and bitterness from their side, hatred for my mum, accusations that she used jazz to hold their brother, even though he had all of them on payroll from day 1 of marrying her, then it changed that he did blood money so that only him will have money in the family. Where when my father tells you the story of how he got an education after the war, you’ll pity him and wonder what his parents were doing at the time.

Poor woman constantly dealt with forgoing needs because there was one more person that needed help, and it never stopped. Old man still used from his gratuity to send two of his brother’s sons abroad and one of them has come back now and back in same position. It never ends.

I pity people that marry into poor homes, poverty mentality is a disease that doesn’t have a cure when you have entitled in-laws, so this Op forming fake love is just lying.

babythug:
Let it be!


You all should keep reaching out to ensure the communication lines don’t completely shut off!
But beyond exchanging pleasantries and generally cordial stuff let him be.

If we ask for his side of things, he will surely have something to say in his defence.

It can sometimes be overwhelming when the entire family is looking up to one child or sibling for finances but it is what it is!

The rest of you focus on making even more success of what you currently have!

do you know the joy in helping your families? I used to reason the way you talked until I realized that wealth is not the amount you have but the no of people you helped. In the long run these people will become your security and prayer warrior. We are our parents living testimony

Enculer:
The OP is an example of an entitled and lazy sibling. Notice the "rich", "care" and "us" 8n the title.

It tells you all you need to know.

Go and work hard and leave him alone. Sounds like you guys contributed to him keeping his distance.

did you see where the Op said he's asking him for Money
the Op said he's working and you are saying another thing

see if that op's brother become sick or have problems his wife might depart and na that time he will cruel back to his brothers and mother

shogsman:
Did you even read the write up

I stopped bothering to quote and enlighten them.

Leave them be. The OP should be wise enought to pay attention to relevant posts and not these balderdash from folks who didn't read, read and couldn't comprehend or follow up on OP's comment.

A lot of times I wonder why people bring deep and troubling issues here? While I agree that there are matured and sensible folks who may throw light on these issues, the majority are just here to just "type" nonsense never knowing how they may be worsening issues depending on the psychological make-up of the individual asking for help or advice.

I tell folks to be careful what they say to others needing help as you might just be saving or killing a life. If the issue is beyond your level of wisdom, gently waka pass rather than confounding issues

Imagine folks attacking the OP inspite of repeated clarifications he's made...you can tell the OP is hurting deep inside and folks here are reducing the issue to "entitlement", "wicked wife", "lazy brother" etc.

Jeez!

Delete him from your program and carry on. At least he is taking care of your mum who should be a priority. Each plant had its unique harvesting day/period.....never forget that

pocohantas:
I can accurately guess what part of the country you are from and this is not me being tribalistic. Always fighting their brother's wife, expecting him to throw her away and bring them in. Sorry, not every man would do that. You people should make peace with the wife first. Na from her una fit get the brother...

Till then, you all will remain like the Okoye's (i.e) PSquares

By the way, I noticed this thing is very common is large families. They will have different parties in one nuclear family- PDP, APC, APGA... I can't deal mehn...

If you are a Nigerian woman and you marry the pillar of a home, be very prepared.

Expected more from you. A deeper insight to the issue at hand.

Well, you weren't put here to live up to my expectations anyway.

nick50:
Op I won't want to sound rude but please have ur father ever took all of u to the lab for a DNA test?..if no pls advice him to go for it now before it will be too late

Hehehehe...funny take on the issue but deep still.

Gabson001:
Act like he's dead bro

I have elder bro that ask me

"what do you want" whenever I call him

Family is just a name

I've learnt to live like am the only person on earth


#peace

Best advice here. Family is over rated. I'm familiar with this. He better lives his life like he's got no elder brother.

jclassiq:
How did you do it bro.? Business?

yes 80 percent ...

chidekings:
The worst that can happen to a man is to be the only rich man in one family.

Na those kain people dey do themselves sometimes.

Helping your dependants is not just by giving them money/bailouts.

Use your influence to fix them up and relax. Many go about that situation in the wrong way.

If na just handouts Tony Elumelu dey give those entrepreneurs, without pushing them to their best limit, e for don tire.