midnighter:


I agree with everything you said except this sentence

If you go to somebody's house and they don't give you something to eat then it's a humongous issue oh

That's if you people are not fighting. I can't go to my sisters house and there's no food and two of us would be sitting there looking at each other, no way on earth

sarutobi:
@jonhmba

Please listen sir,

Leave him alone. don't call anymore. He is your brother does not mean he has to pick your calls or even give you face. There is no law in the world that mandates that.

This is what you should do. WORK ON YOURSELF.

Yes, leave him and concentrate on the rest of your family (nuclear and otherwise).

I will not blame anyone since we have not heard your brother's story. Just stop disturbing him.

Forget that "want your brother back" idea. Where do you want him back from??


Something went wrong somewhere. Also from your writeup it looks like the guy is running from financial burden.

What he failed to do is to tell you guys that he can only provide what he has. Cutting family off is immature.

Well, please heed my advice. I know i am saying something completely different from what others have said but that is the only solution.

Work on yourself and dont worry about anyone else.

egobetatoday:


U are assuming that the lady sits at home with the OP from morning to night. What if she's Working and doesn't have time to cook. What if when she returns home she is too tired to cook? What if over time the man and his wife have discovered there is no need to cook since they are always at work during meal time? All I know is if her husband does not complain, then the OP SHOULD ADAPT WHEN HE VISITS THEM, especially as the man gives the OP MONEY FOR FEEDING. what else does he wants? In-laws just like to look for trouble, when the trouble finally finds them they start looking for who to blame. I will only blame the lady if she cooks for herself alone, or just for her husband alone without caring for a visitor in the house. Apart from that, if that lifestyle works for them...fine, as long as I've been given money for lunch.

johnmba:
Fellow NL . Am bringing this issue to seek advice.

I come from a family of 7, we are all graduates except the first son who is into business. The second son is very very rich,he works with a big multinational company.

When we were growing up he hardly play with us the younger ones but he was close to the first son. But he totally changed after he got married 15years ago. Though our parents did not initially support his marriage because of the girls background (her father died and the mum went back to her house with the daughter) and her character too. My brother got angry and said nobody should visit him or ask him for money. He used to help us in school.

Later my parents accepted and gave their support but since then my brothers attitude towards us really changed. Each time I visit him , he does not give me money in the presence of the wife. Also he usually give me money to go and eat outside because she hardly cook(maybe cos of the initial rejection)

The way he talks to the first son is degrading and he hardly pick our calls. The first son business is not moving at all but he does not care though he has given him money and car some years back and they don't talk to each other again. On several occasions people have told the third son why his brother refused to help his family. They said he helps people alot in the multinational company and he is a very nice guy.

Please what do we do? I don't want this separation to continue till death.. Our children are watching and I want us to relate as brothers and sisters.

Nb.
Nobody is calling him to ask for money. Am an engineer but works in a hospital. All we want is that brotherly love. Since I finished school I have not asked him for money likewise some of my siblings.

How do we bring him back

Eze2000:
When they say Nigerian youths are useless, rude and can't read, the same Nigerian youths think we mature adults are insulting them. Just look at these two talking trash to me when they don't have all the information about my family or me. Mynd44 how can people ever be expected to answer a question honestly with dedicated trolls like these running wild on this website?

Your dad's story is pathetic, it also has significant lessons. Now I know some person's reactions are as a result of bitter lesson/experience they had previously and that me as a person shouldn't be quick to pass judgment in my heart against an individual/group without proper understanding of their motive/reason.




When you are greatly offended in life you have 2 choices.

1. Fight for yourself or
2. Let God fight for you.

In fighting for yourslef you can do so physically or with the aid of evil powers i.e witches and native doctors. I chose number 2 above and that means waiting for God to deal with him. And hey, before you start trolling me about waiting in vain let me inform you that the multi-millionaire of yesterday is now finding money difficult today, has already shut down 3 business and sold one of his 3 cars in Nigeria.

God may be slow in action but never fails. I chose him.





My father was a young captain in the Biafran war. He fought in war fronts until Canada started helping Biafra by supplying it food and so translators of French to Igbo were needed. That was how my dad, an Igbo man who spoke French fluently, got promoted to Captain and given an administrative job. After the war, one of the white men he worked with took him to Canada. My dad was in Canada when his only brother was jailed for rape in the village in Nigeria and no one among the illiterate villagers could help because it was a policeman's daughter he allegedly raped and the guy jailed him even while the case was yet to get to court. My father returned to carry that case so his brother would not go to jail and damage his life. Unfortunately, in his haste, he came back without the right papers and could not return.
My father made huge sacrifices that turned his only brother from a primary school dropout selling acara in an Igbo village to a highly qualified secondary school teacher. Some of those sacrifices world have sent my dad to jail if caught. For example, when this same secondary school teacher got a chance to go to America he could not pass the English exam. Guess who took it for him? Before that guess who forged his papers with govt stamp so he could go to Teachers Training College after failing the exam?

My dad was a man who did not build houses or buy cars in his main years but spent all he had on his brother first, then his own kids later in life. The family agreement was my Uncle would train me in the USA and I train my younger ones. My dad fell seriously ill just after I left secondary school and it lasted for 15 years. His brother did one of the most famous vanishing acts you will ever see till my dad died five years ago. During this time, i was told to get ready to go to the USA for studies 3 times only for it to be called off.

After my dad died without seeing his brother, I blocked the man in my heart for life. I've turned down more pacifying gifts in dollars within the last five years than both of you trolls will ever see in your life. My rejection carried spiritual consequences due to the circumstance and so my uncle, in desperation offered one of his cash gifts to a struggling younger brother of mine. He accepted and that was how he found the huge capital needed to become a money exchanger and bitcoin trader. He's a millionaire now and doesn't bother with Nairaland again where he learnt the trade.

So how about me. I'm a self-taught writer and author waiting to answer my calling as a man of God in an international church. I have to answer that calling because not answering it since it first came 20 years ago has affected my life in a way you cannot understand. It has also preserved it. Yes, I did not mention that my uncle is diabolical... a user of native charms who has to return to Nigeria to renew his evil power yearly. People die in our house every 4 years now and a lot of destinies have been tied down. He has poisoned me via food 2 times and tried to drive me mad 3 times - God stopped all five attempts. I can't feel my toes well till today from the first attempt in 1998. Check my profile you will see me pleading for advice from doctors in the health section just 2 moths back to save a woman's life. That was my stepmother, she is dead now from a simple leg injury that worsened and spread incredibly fast.

@Enculer my attempts to survive have been superhuman spiritually and physically, something 10 of you can never do. I'm neither poor nor lazy. I earn well above minimum wage in a job no one taught me to do or helped. I own 3 houses all to myself in Lagos and Imo state. I battle demons to a standstill, eat poison and live, render the powers of some of the most powerful prophets you know useless because God is my power. The only area you can taunt me is being unmarried at 39 due to the fact that I have not found a godly woman I like in a society so rotten.



Please, please go away both of you and let me mourn in peace.

Eze2000:


Forget psychology, if your head was complete you wouldn't be mentioning me at this point or trying to shove you worthless ideology down my throat even after I tell you 4 times now to Go AWAY.

Your device is very important seeing as mine is flagging all your sentences in red as I try to reply to your rants. As for the cost of it all, that's the most important part, you see man get size. I'm fighting with a sitting king and you come with 25k property to waste time? Use you wisdom to make money and you shall dine with elders... it's an Igbo and Yoruba addage that shows up in other cultures.




You don't know squat and you can't read squat even if its written in pidgin English, with proper spacing included. You are just a useless busy body.



Fact is you don't know what I know but just doing your thing as a busy body. In your magnificent stupidity, you forgot to wonder about simple things age or health status that can put a time stamp on people's life. How smart are you again? Or how is it your problem? Maybe he will live longer than you. Busy body no dey mind him business

DAVE5:



You quoted 0monnak0da saying some things about his type of device and other stuffs you’ve said, I’m not here to judge you or any of thing like that

I have some words though;

First, nairaland is a faceless forum and the said person 0monnak0da might be a billionaire who you book months long appointment to even see him face to face or yet he cld b a stack poor person that has nothing going for himself (my most sincere apologies to you 0monnak0da for the poor part, lol) my point is I feel he was pulling ur legs by saying his device is 20k and 5k respectively and his device whatsoever has nothing to do with his ideology but I believe he is a good guy to some extent, typo errors when typing occurs to even the best most brilliant richest guy in the room

Secondly, I’ve followed ur statements here, in life, as a Christian Bible say u must forgive person 77 * 77 * 77 times (I’m not 100% sure on that part though) but then what that means is there’s nothing a person does to you that is unforgivable

But if u no believe Bible, in life forgiveness actually gives you more inner peace than holding grudges against a person, I’ve held grudges against people and I know how I felt, I had to give up on why I was even holding grudges and just forgave the whole occurrence, but my catholic priest taught me once that we should not deceive ourselves, you cld forgive but forgetting is a very hard thing but just because u remember should not take away the forgiveness


Plus like 0monnak0da has said, when you understand the fact that life is not yours you would know that your uncle might outlive you, even Jesus died at age 33, he cld have live as human for as long as he wanted, but God had a different calling and his wisdom far surpasses our imagination


IMHO u saying u eat poison and all other stuffs says u r a strong man by ur own understanding, but then u r spiritually weak by my own standards if a wrong done to u would go without forgiveness and I guess 0monnak0da would understand my view too

First, nairaland is a faceless forum and the said person 0monnak0da might be a billionaire who you book months long appointment to even see him face to face or yet he cld b a stack poor person that has nothing going for himself (my most sincere apologies to you 0monnak0da for the poor part, lol) my point is I feel he was pulling ur legs by saying his device is 20k and 5k respectively and his device whatsoever has nothing to do with his ideology but I believe he is a good guy to some extent, typo errors when typing occurs to even the best most brilliant richest guy in the room

Secondly, I’ve followed ur statements here, in life, as a Christian Bible say u must forgive person 77 * 77 * 77 times (I’m not 100% sure on that part though) but then what that means is there’s nothing a person does to you that is unforgivable

But if u no believe Bible, in life forgiveness actually gives you more inner peace than holding grudges against a person, I’ve held grudges against people and I know how I felt, I had to give up on why I was even holding grudges and just forgave the whole occurrence, but my catholic priest taught me once that we should not deceive ourselves, you cld forgive but forgetting is a very hard thing but just because u remember should not take away the forgiveness

IMHO u saying u eat poison and all other stuffs says u r a strong man by ur own understanding, but then u r spiritually weak by my own standards if a wrong done to u would go without forgiveness and I guess 0monnak0da would understand my view too

Plus like 0monnak0da has said, when you understand the fact that life is not yours you would know that your uncle might outlive you, even Jesus died at age 33, he cld have live as human for as long as he wanted, but God had a different calling and his wisdom far surpasses our imagination

Eze3000:


Hi there Daves,

For being mellow in tone I will take the time to answer your questions. One bite at a time. But may I point out that, though you claim differently, you are already being judgemental and biassed?




Yeah, NL is indeed a faceless forum. If 0monnak0da a billionaire, he's a billionaire in his house not mine, not a faceless forum. If he chooses to use a 25k or 5k device that's his business, not mine. My problem starts when that device begins to quote upandan. He's pulling my lege? He's doing that even when I begged him to stop and go away severally? And you think he's a nice guy?

The problem with his device is technical, not common typos like everyone makes including me, I'm a tech guy, I build websites and play with different advanced software on pc, tv, and phones. I'm no pro but I can spot cheap devices or faulty ones just by what they do online. Go to facebook, cheap china phones write certain things in red. The errors his device was making indicates it is substandard, which I pointed out because only a fool or an immature person leaves his own life which needs fixing to go out and criticize others in better positions than they are. Don't forget this was a guy that was telling me rudely to go make my own money as if he read somewhere that I was begging. Maybe he did not read at all.




Forgiveness is a tricky topic but I can tell you for sure that only God forgives, the rest of us humans just pretend. I missed an important interview last year because a man I offended by mistake refused to sign my application letter. That man is the head of 4 churches with the rank of Rev. Pastor.

I have a very delicate heart that finds it so hard to hurt people even when they hurt me. I shout and scream bloody murder but when the time for full vengeance comes I can't. A lot of people think I am weak because of that but thats me. Recently, I travelled 500 miles from Lagos to a remote village and stayed there for 5 days to help someone who caused me a lot of discomfort in life, someone I wished never existed some times, we quarrelled bitterly many time. I was one of the last people that person saw before death.

You and 0monnak0da have nothing to teach me about forgiveness or the bible. If you had stopped to think, you would have realised that i am under a lot of stress, I said so too, and in such conditions, people react or talk badly. But when calm much later we act differently.

Another thing is if you read my comments well you would realise that the person you are telling me to forgive does powerful things to make life terrible for me at least 3 times each year. I bet you don't have that kind of enemy or know anyone who does. If you are me you will tie a rope around your neck and hang yourself from the nearest tree or ceiling fan to end it but you are not me that;s wny you are quoting me instead and calling me weak.




Never said I was a strong man but my God is strong. Why he chose me I have no idea but I assure you that I'm a dead man more than 20 times over. You will not understand. You are not there. You are just in your house operating a device on a faceless forum. Feel free to eat poison and see how it tastes.




1. If I thought I owned life I would change mine cos I don't like this one again. And Jesus did not die at 33 my dear. No historian has the figures or life story right, it is just estimated. I'm more than 33 though. You and this 0monnak0da can keep hoping but my uncle will not march my grave as he did to my father, mother and stepmom. You two can keep hoping in vain. God's wisdom and ways are indeed full of mysteries but sometimes he makes it all know to humans in such ways as visions and dreams.

Cheers!

Eze3000:
[s][/s]

@DAVE5 see your Billioniare and his 25k phone raining insults on me cos I don't wanna swallow his 1k wisdom.

Go and hug a trasformer busy body

Eze3000:
[s][/s]

@DAVE5 see your Billioniare and his 25k phone raining insults on me cos I don't wanna swallow the useless wisdom from hsi 1k brain. At least he used a better device this time. No errors at all. I am really shcoked!!!

@0monnak0da Go and hug a trasformer, busy body.

DAVE5:


Well, I never wanted 2 force anything down ur throat boss, i simply passed my opinion, u might say forgiveness is tricky but for me it’s as simple as you either forgive or you don’t

As for the pastor or reverend u talked about, for him not to forgive means he lacks the spirit of God in him, then he’s simply a god of man not a man of God


And I believe Asmeans you well, all he is trying to do is to make u see letting go of the hurt is what God or whoever or whatever you believe in would have wanted you to do, well you might read it differently


In the end you’re entirely entitled to your choices and decisions, hope you make the right choices, but as humans, no one is infallible so I can’t force you to do what I want

Cheers

Eze3000:


I'm not weak, I'm just not you that can't read out of low mentality, yeah, just took a look at your topics.... Trash.

I have a steady income from forexing and online trading and Its more than ok for me to live on, build my house and buy devices better than yours.



He's not rich anymore if you think he will settle you for fighting for him. You see, he was a cop and so it was the inflation rate that made him seem rich here. Salary $38k a year. Times 360 per naira anmd he's got like 120 million in his pocket, minus tax and bills, that at least 10 million free to spend here.
He's a retired now... no money. You will work in vain




I know you will die before him. I've answereed that now. Just replying your loud mouth that jumped into my mentions with a phone that was making things hard for me to read. WHERE THE HELL DID YOU BUY IT?

0monnak0da:

I am not interested in your biography or your earnings .
You are waiting for your uncle to die so you can disgrace him in death by refusing him burial on family land .

This is because he refused to help you with his riches.

Do you know who will die first?
Do you know his plans for your dead body if you go first?
You are planning he is planning and the ground which will take all dead bodies is the best of planners

Eze3000:


And you say you are not interested in my Biography only my plans for my family

Mumu go and plan for your family, I'm not interested in whatever you got to sell

0monnak0da:

....

0monnak0da:

I am not interested in your biography or your earnings .
You are waiting for your uncle to die so you can disgrace him in death by refusing him burial on family land .

This is because he refused to help you with his riches.

Do you know who will die first?
Do you know his plans for your dead body if you go first?
You are planning he is planning and the ground which will take all dead bodies is the best of planners

asskush:

100%
@OP,

Take this advice and move on.

majarbimbo:


Bro some people we not or may not know what it takes to work in saipem talkless of being an oga at saipem, saipem is an Italian construction company , have once been in contact with them when I worked at Onshore construction company an Indian firm handling Dangote fertilizer refinery when I was in naija, those saipem workers are millionaire, we use to envy them then

Eze2000:


Forget psychology, if your head was complete you wouldn't be mentioning me at this point or trying to shove you worthless ideology down my throat even after I tell you 4 times now to Go AWAY.

Your device is very important seeing as mine is flagging all your sentences in red as I try to reply to your rants. As for the cost of it all, that's the most important part, you see man get size. I'm fighting with a sitting king and you come with 25k property to waste time? Use you wisdom to make money and you shall dine with elders... it's an Igbo and Yoruba addage that shows up in other cultures.




You don't know squat and you can't read squat even if its written in pidgin English, with proper spacing included. You are just a useless busy body.



Fact is you don't know what I know but just doing your thing as a busy body. In your magnificent stupidity, you forgot to wonder about simple things age or health status that can put a time stamp on people's life. How smart are you again? Or how is it your problem? Maybe he will live longer than you. Busy body no dey mind him business

adanny01:


As a Christian, my brother's money is my money based on



Christianity doesn't treat kindly those who for one reason or the other refuse to help their own relatives especially the immediate family.

2buffagain:


Disgusting human trash twisting scripture to suit your laziness and evil.
You are no different from a lot of so-called nigerian pastors.

HouseHOLD means children, spouse and parents....in that order.
Helping siblings is from the jara after these things (and after sensible savings)....and that is if you want to.

Your wellfare is NOT your sibling's responsibility, you lazy Bleep.