1. If my phone and bible are falling at the same time what will I do? I will catch my phone and let the bible fall because the word of God can not be broken 2. Blessed are those boys that have no girlfriend for they shall enjoy their pocket money 3. This people that keeps asking can u exchange me for 1million naira,can u slap me for 10million naira, they don't even know that with the present situation of nigeria now i can exchange them with bread and minerals 4. Dating a short girl is really good but not until you enter bus Dem tell you Oga pls lap your daughter 5. I Saw a girl crying at the mall I asked her what happened? She Told me that she lost her 1000 naira So, I gave her 200 naira from the 1000 naira which I found at the Entrance of The Mall. When God gives you , You must share it too! 6. Be shouting smal body no be sickness, until they start sharing drinks in an event, and dey got to ur turn &giv u bobo 7. Neighbours will always see the girl u brought home last night But they will never see the thief who stole from your place even during the day!!! *Nonsense bunches of idiots* 8. I asked A Girl on Facebook to tell me more about herself. I Fainted after she told me that She is SLIM IN COMPLEXION. 9. Big boy is not when you manage buy iPhone x max and behave rude to your elders. Big boy is when your girlfriend ask you for money and you give her your ATM with the password and tell her to withdraw any amount. Ladies am I making Sense? Any girl that thinks I’m making SENSE. Hmm Electric Pole FALL on U. Thief 10. Nobody is careful than a guy composing an SMS for a new girl. He can even go to dictionary to confirm the correct spelling of "IS" just to be sure 1. If my phone and bible are falling at the same time what will I do? I will catch my phone and let the bible fall because the word of God can not be broken 2. Blessed are those boys that have no girlfriend for they shall enjoy their pocket money 3. This people that keeps asking can u exchange me for 1million naira,can u slap me for 10million naira, they don't even know that with the present situation of nigeria now i can exchange them with bread and minerals 4. Dating a short girl is really good but not until you enter bus Dem tell you Oga pls lap your daughter 5. I Saw a girl crying at the mall I asked her what happened? She Told me that she lost her 1000 naira So, I gave her 200 naira from the 1000 naira which I found at the Entrance of The Mall. When God gives you , You must share it too! 6. Be shouting smal body no be sickness, until they start sharing drinks in an event, and dey got to ur turn &giv u bobo 7. Neighbours will always see the girl u brought home last night But they will never see the thief who stole from your place even during the day!!! *Nonsense bunches of idiots* 8. I asked A Girl on Facebook to tell me more about herself. I Fainted after she told me that She is SLIM IN COMPLEXION. 9. Big boy is not when you manage buy iPhone x max and behave rude to your elders. Big boy is when your girlfriend ask you for money and you give her your ATM with the password and tell her to withdraw any amount. Ladies am I making Sense? Any girl that thinks I’m making SENSE. Hmm Electric Pole FALL on U. Thief 10. Nobody is careful than a guy composing an SMS for a new girl. He can even go to dictionary to confirm the correct spelling of "IS" just to be sure

1: I will never buy film from street hawkers again... Today bought IRON MAN from one of the street hawkers, when i played it on my DVD it was showing a man IRONING his shirt I just switched off the TV and cried for 2hours
2: U won't know that u are a fine boy untill u are caught stealing in the market that's when people will start saying, "ah, eyah, this kind fine boy na thief
3. U are slim, ur girlfriend is slim, when u both walk and holding hands.....u will be looking like capital letter H
4. Black people should stop praying in English, i heard someone saying "Lord i forgive u
5. If You're looking for a wife in a Church don't go on Sunday. Go on midweek service... Slay queens don't attend midweek service 6. The Most annoying Soup To Steal Meat From Is Orkro Soup,The Lines Can Even Follow You to Another Country
7. I'm still wondering All those people that fly at night Can't they use that chance and fly out of Nigeria? Abeg come carry me I know the road to america
8. That moment u re having dinner with ur family, then NEPA performed wonders by taking the light, den u stretch ur hand to take ur junior bro's meat....den NEPA brought back the light only for u to notice that...its ur Father meat u took.... Chai that's when you will know the difference between I will be dead and I shall be dead.
9. Oya English Gurus in the House answer this Question!!! .. A Mother beat up her daughter because she was drunk!! ... Now; who was drunk? The mother or the daughter

1. One girl posted on Facebook "RATE MY BEAUTY" her mom commented "NKECHI! WHERE DID U GET THOSE CLOTHES U ARE WEARING"? She blocked her own mom
2. Am tired of hiding this ooo, am d one that introduced dangote into cement business
3. I mistakenly ran in between cockroaches den immediately I remembered Daniel in d lions den. I pack courage and walked to Dem, believe me they all ran away
4. That moment u re running around for a plate of rice at a wedding ceremony and u mistakenly disconnect d speaker wire with ur leg and all eyes turn on u, You go belle full 3 sec
5. My cousin is very dull and stubborn. He always fail his Assignments everyday even when i do it for him, he still fails
6. We could have been in 2020 by now, if not for all these fat girls walking slowly
7. Dating A Slim Guy is very Sexy and Romantic, until Breeze blows him away from the Relationship
8. Nobody say u should not fat, but don't come and be squeezing me and my friend inside keke and still pay N50
9. Boss lady! Boss lady! Because you are fat you are calling yourself boss lady, and the hand of your bra look like olden days motor seatbelt
9. Watching tv with a village girl is very sweet until she throw stone at the snake on the tv
10. you calls your girlfriend honey and you are complaining other men are chasing her; now tell me who do not like sweet things

1. Dating A married man is fun until you discovered that he saved your number as Engine Oil
2. ADVICE FOR OUR LADIES! PLEASE, feed your man with plenty of good food. A fat man can't runaway, He will feel too lazy to even go out and cheat on
you. If you know you know 3. If i post on Facebook DAT "I am in America and u see me in ur street, pls just know u are also in America. Let's not make things awkward
4. If a carpenter was enough for Mary, the mother of Jesus, then what's wrong with the girls of nowadays?
5. If you are fat and we dating you're free to cheat, I can't eat the whole cow alone

1. Just because i gave this goat a
lift, People are now saying
rubbish that I want to steal it...
So human cannot help
animals again

2. Nigeria Barbers will use powder to deceive u making u
Look like Chris Brown
But once u get home & bath
BOOM! Ur back to MR IBU

3. Avoid taking WEED in the
morning. Now someone just dropped his children in his office
and has gone to their school for
work

4. What a life?
The lawyer hopes you get into
trouble, the doctor hopes you fall
sick, the police hopes you
become a criminal, the teacher
hopes you are born stupid, the
coffin maker wants you dead,
only the thief wishes you prosperity in life so that he can
steal from you.please hug the
next thief by you. He is your
only
true friend

5. I paid N100,000.00 for one night for an hotel room and you
are asking me why I am taking
away their television. Are you
okay?

6. If not for the love I have for
Nokia touch light how much is iPhone 11 that someone cannot buy

7. It's only in Africa that people
will go to the hospital and start
confusing Doctors.. They will be
like "Doctor i'm having chest pains
all
over my body, from my head to my toes

8. Ladies Did you know that
the real meaning of "DATE" is Dick
At The End?

9. There is a special heaven for
those people selling kpomo,
they will tell you the kpomo is
soft, only for you to get home and realise you bought leather
belt

1. eating suya with the person who bought it is stressful you will be asking de holy spirit when next to pick one
2. you came to kidnap me with benz and you expect me to shout for help are you OK??... A Abeg shift small make i balance well
3. shot girls are cute until it's time to say goodnight and she hug your leg
4. you can't walk faster like a person who has been given a extra change in the shop. Try it and see 5. my dog is so useless can you imagine we were both chased by Another dog today
6. Even my phone wants to leave Nigeria. I am typing MALARIA its typing MALAYSIA.
7. One time in high school, i was dozzing in physic lecture, the teacher from no where asked me, "what is the unit of power equivalent to joule per second ?? Me: what ?? Teacher: clap for him, it is called (watt) my dear that's when i knew that miracle still exist
8. In this our hard economy, someone wants to buy a foreign dog of 500k* *If you give me that money, I'll stand at your door and bark *
9. Having younger siblings around you is stressful, See my life now, am drinking yoghurt in the Toilet
10. Sister!!..if you have flat boobs, flat yansh, and even flat chest.....congr atulations, your three bedroom flat is now complete
reward me with a share

1. In nigeria, whenever rain is about to start, nepa must take light... Pls is it written in the constitution?
2. I seriously need to stop listening to peoples conversation in Public transport, I once followed someone to his house just to hear the rest of the story
3. I am on bike and something is telling me to totori de bike man in de armpit
4. On my wedding day, i will cook beans, pls if you are coming dnt bring gift ooo!! Just com with bread or garri it'll be unique
5. Dear men! If u are a short man, biko dnt date a benin girl, Because it will b easier to put You in a spiritual bottle
6. In china earthquake for 3 days electricity still on. In Nigeria 2 birds sitting on the wire then boom no light for 4 months WHY? 7. Only a black person will steal your thing and help u to search for it after
8. I cooked today and everyone have been going to toilet. Biko what's wrong With Dem? Na only 13 Maggi I put oh
9. Imagine someone owing you 100k just posted "I wish i could die now" die go where? My dear you're covered with the blood of jesus
10. I wake up this morning and found my self in the market, people were pricing me.. My girlfriend nearly sell me just becus of iPhone 11+ my broda fear Igbo girls
11. If You want to know your wife's secret?, call your neighbour's wife a prostitute then you'll see revelation Happy sunday

Top 10 jokes 1. Dating A Slim Guy is very Sexy and Romantic, until Breeze blows him away from the Relationship
2. I hate people who don't forget the past. Especially this woman am owing money
3. Yoruba boys be like "Aunty, give me 'Empty Hen' Biko its MTN, don't let me faint the second time oh
4. Since I borrowed N200 from MTN last month, they keep sending me message that “Recharge with N200 to win 7 houses at Lekki” They think I don’t have sense
5. I fooled a keke man today I paid him and ran away without entering his keke; Sense no go kee me
6. Some naija guyz sha, If U don't have anything to say, just end the Chat with her already . Which one is "What is Ur favorite age?"
7. Those guys that use 5 secs to UnCloth a girl in the dark and can't open psalm 23 in broad day light, come and enter Heaven lemme see you
8. The way I’m broke these days sef, it’s like I’ll sell my neighour’s dog and do the barking at night
9. don’t trust girls that visit with large hand bags. I have lost my phone, charger and Tv remote. Please if you know any girl called stella tell her to bring back my ceiling fan blades. The room is hot
10. Which number make you laugh the most

5
sense don kee u finally

utimichael:
Top 10 jokes
1. Dating A Slim Guy is very
Sexy and Romantic, until Breeze
blows him away from the
Relationship

2. I hate people who don't
forget the past. Especially this
woman am owing
money

3. Yoruba boys be like "Aunty,
give me 'Empty Hen' Biko its
MTN, don't let me faint the
second time oh

4. Since I borrowed N200 from
MTN last month, they keep
sending me message that
“Recharge with N200 to win 7
houses at Lekki” They think I
don’t have sense

5. I fooled a keke man today I
paid him and ran away without
entering his keke; Sense no go
kee me

6. Some naija guyz sha, If U
don't have anything to say, just end the Chat with her already .
Which one is "What is Ur
favorite age?"

7. Those guys that use 5 secs to
UnCloth a girl in the dark and
can't open psalm 23 in broad day light, come and enter
Heaven lemme see you

8. The way I’m broke these days
sef, it’s like I’ll sell my neighour’s
dog and do the barking at night

9. don’t trust girls that visit with large hand bags. I have lost
my phone, charger and Tv
remote. Please if you know any
girl called stella tell her to
bring back my ceiling fan blades.
The room is hot

10. Which number make you laugh the most

1. I heard a girl talking on the phone this morning and i felt like asking her to give me the number she used to call God cuz all the things she was asking for can only be given by God
2. When i carry you inside my car stop greeting people through the window.. Such behaviors consume fuel
3. If You Ever Get Caught Sleeping At Work Just Slowly Raise Your Head And Say: ''In Jesus Name Amen''
4. Stop giving Children Bible names, without Bible lessons. Yesterday I was robbed by Abraham
5. I stole a cap from school yesterday then boom.. My father wears it to the school P.T.A meeting today
6. On my wedding day if you hear your name, you march forward and collect your rice.. The rest will explain who invited them
7. A Policeman was checking the assignment of his two sons. He checked the Senior child's work who scored 55 over 100 and flogged him. He turned to the junior child, who scored 14 over 100, opened his notebook and walk away without saying a word, The older child ask the younger one. "U wey no sabi anytin, why Papa no flog u? .The younger one replied: I put N200 inside my notebook! U forget say Papa na Policeman?
8. A man walks into a bar and say, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!
9. Human beings fall and rise, Dick fall and rise, currency fall and rise. But when breast fall, ehhhh ... It is finished!
10. A drunkard falls from the 1st floor of a storey building. A nearby crowd rushes to help him: Crowd: What happened? Drunkard: I don't know ooo. I also just arrived

1. Chatting with a Fat Girl
consumes more Data and
battery

2. Any woman that cannot
convert sunday remaining
stew to Monday jellof rice is not a wife material

3. Those of You who constantly
react to my Comedy Posts , you
will eat 2 plate each and extra
take away on My Wedding day

4. Teacher : Why do we Drink water
Me : Because we can't eat water

5. If she cheats on u , don't beat
her , just give her fake money ,
they will beat her for You in the
Market

6. What is Nigeria turning into?
how can I buy corn and the
seller is telling me to cut for
her

7. MTN Y na I sleep with 500Mb
and woke up 5Mb did I download my Dream from
YouTube

8. Relationship Stress Can Make
You To Scratch Someone's Head
In The Taxi Thinking its Yours
..chei it happened to me today

9. In Nigeria No Matter How
Beautiful your wedding is ,it
will Never Make Sense To Those
that Food did not Reach

10. English teacher will tell me
to write composition about myself and still score me 5/10 as how na Please sir , are u me? Is you me? Are me u? No wait are you I?

1. Who told Nigerian guys to always shake their dick 3times after urinating is it in the constitution?
2. Instead of using 350k to buy iphone, why dnt u use it to buy 20 bags of rice and give it to me, so that god will bless you
3. 1. Dating A Slim Guy is very Sexy and Romantic, until Breeze blows him away from the Relationship
4. Yoruba boys be like "Aunty, give me 'Empty Hen' Biko its MTN, don't let me faint the second time oh
5. Those guys that use 5 secs to UnCloth a girl in the dark and can't open psalm 23 in broad day light, come and enter Heaven lemme see you
6. No sound on earth is louder than a dropping pot cover when you try to steal meat
7. My fear for aboki weed increase when my neighbour sell his television to buy the remote
8. I was just coming back from work when I meet jehovah's witness knocking my door I join them; we knock knock knock until we get tired and they left
9. I never knew it was hard until I heard a man pricing nepa bill Abeg, how much for low current
10. When I was a kid sex means gender, pussy means cat, dick was a name and bang was a sound; what's happening to this generation

1. A famous prostitute died, people were confuse as to what should be written on her grave, finally, on the advise of an old man, they wrote, "At last she slept alone"
2. Boss lady! Boss lady! But the hand of your bra will be like danfo seat belt. Na joke oo Don't skip without a like or Comment
3. The way some people have mouth odors this days can even make Moses to wake up and add d 11th commandments which says "thou should brush thy mouth every morning" Yeeh! Who slap me
4. Poor people should stop pretending to be rich, u are confusing the Angel of blessings
5. U will never knw u have kung-fu skills until cockroach run over ur body. Fada lurd eep ya chid
6. Some guys can form sha. Carrying laptop bag with ludo inside, Bros u are doing ya sef
7. Those who dress smartly and smell fine but wear wristwatch that isn't working are among the problems we face in Nigeria
8. Fingering girls with our fingers should ends this year, next year we are using KNIFE. Ewo! Who stone me
9. I have a feeling that very soon am gonna own Banana island. I've bought banana remaining Island. Small small am making it in life
10. I sold out my industrial standing fan because of my slim gf. How will i put on my fan and it will be moving my girlfriend wherever it wishes. Nonsense

wow tanx man this just made my day

Very nice!

1. The way people inside KEKE will be looking at you while trekking, it will be as if they're inside private jet
2. Our parents will be comparing us with our mates as if Bill Gates and Dangote are not their mates
3. Last night as I was coming home, some armed robbers stopped me and I ran, as I was running I saw SARS I ran back to the armed robbers for safety
4. Black people should stop praying in English, i heard someone saying "Lord i forgive u
5. U won't know that u are a fine boy untill u are caught stealing in the market that's when people will start saying, "ah, eyah, this kind fine boy na thief
6. I will never buy film from street hawkers again. Today i bought IRON MAN from one of the street hawkers, when i played it on my DVD it was showing a man IRONING his shirt. I just switched off the TV and cried for 2hours
7. Some people think my timeline is a library, they just come to read posts and leave. No like, No comment or share
8. Abeg, if u have been in a relationship for 10yrs. Pls I need Past question papers
9. I saw a woman jumping up and down, I asked her what she was doing, and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it
10. Snoring too is a gift. Not everyone can compose song with beat while sleeping

1. For me to Buy insecticide of #900 I will rather allow mosquito to bite me, and late I will buy malaria drugs of #400 and use the remaining #500 to buy suya
2. Bro if she opens her leg for u , close it At least surprise God for one day
3. It pains me when am coming back from shop rite with bags and non of my Neighbors are outside to see me
4. I don't know y my Neighbour stopped Rearing Broilers All dis his local fowl too get speed ,Person cannot even play with them
5. Dating a deeper life Girl is Great ooo Not Until u text her Good night I love you , and she replies you, Thank You, But "The Love Of God is All I Need'

1. Girls that takes their
boyfriends out and give them
money... Where do you live? Please I need one
2. Those of you who say love
hurts, abeg do you know the
pain of being taller than your
blanket in a cold night
3. that's how i mistakenly
stepped on a Yoruba girl Yoruba girl: are u in Zain? Me: no I'm in mtn
4. Some guys think girls black
bra are always dirty, it's not
always true.. Just ask them to drop their hair
net inside water and BOOM! Tea
is ready It's not my handwriting
oooo
5. Boss : ekaette, now that
madam has gone out, get this money, go to that pharmacy, buy a pack of condom and come to
my room for sex ekaette :, ok oga ( after the show ) boss: ekaette, ure so sweet ekaette : hmm oga, na so gate
man talk say i sweet pass madam o boss: what!!!and den he Fainted
6. my grandmother came to
me and said that her phone
ringing tone is finished, I asked
her to give me some money let
me go and download another
one for her...... All the money she collected from my grandfather
when she was young, I'll collect
them back
7. Some guys can deceive eeh..
They'll be like ''Baby i see my
future kids in your eyes'' Well-
done sir chairman of national
population census, Hope you're
seeing golden morn, pampers, school fees and other baby food
on her forehead too?
8. she broke up with me just
because of dis, She said nobody knows
tomorrow And i said tomorrow is sunday then she block me
9. Last night, I prayed hard and asked God to remove all the fake
things in my life... Boom! The next morning, I can’t find my dick
10. I never knew this quarantine period could be this difficult until this morning my neighbour brought his cat and ask me to buy it, I told him I don't have rats in my house, then he said "just buy the cat I will bring you rats later in the evening

1. Nigeria again: two coronavirus virus patient were caught having sex in the isolation room
2. Igbo mothers be like chinwe chinwe ooo.....!! Lower that music i want to taste this soup
3. They said no public gathering but sum idiots wil post nd stil tag me wit 99 others, wait oo, ona wan infect person
4. Village ppl r very Wicked, dey can mak u wear Glo T-shirt to an MTN interview
5. I just pass my Landlord witout him Recognizing me. Dis Face masks is really working
6. De way ATM throws out card
after withdrawing 1k is so disrespectful... I had to pick mine across de main road yesterday
7. Have you ever read a
comment that made you
click the person's profile to
see if they lookjust as stupid
as they sound?
8. Star: 2% alcohol
sanitizer: 70% alcohol
Are u thinking of what I am thinking
9.Just because of hand sanitizer, some
security men in the bank
now behaves like medical
doctors
10. Why is 9 found in so many
evil places?? 419, f9
COVID-19, ETC. even may 9
is also my house rent,
na even today oh
11. I swear to God I will like this post
U just swear just now oh

Nice jokes here