..

Did you let the suitors know you have a child?

Kids are indeed a blessing and a lucky charm. I am a witness to this irrefutable fact.

It is a good thing that you understand the above mix but how you could believe in the same breath that she'd hamper your chances of getting betrothed beats my mugu imagination.

Do you plan on hiding her forever?

Listen, sis, there are men like me who love kids and would love you no matter how many of them you already have. Any man who can't love you with your daughter sure isn't the right one for you.

You had better stopped allowing old school mumsie design and plan your 21st-century life going forward.

Wish you well...

SweetPreeq:
Did you let the suitors know you have a child?

yes

Awww
Your mum will Miss her company wella.
Just make sure She receives quality Education wherever She is.

Anyone serious with You must know About her.

LadyBeee:
yes

Maybe they just wanted to sleep with you
If the person really liked u he would have stayed

Will your daughter get quality education where she is?
I don't know what they mean by blocking your chances of getting married except you plan to hide her from your would-be suitors.
In my opinion,bring your child and raise her yourself.It will make you monitor her progress yourself and also keep the bond between you.

SweetPreeq:


Maybe they just wanted to sleep with you
If the person really liked u he would have stayed

none of them slept with me. I was very cautious

LadyBeee:
none of them slept with me. I was very cautious

Take your child back

And good luck on your search

Peace....

Leave her so she won't PEEP when you are getting BLEEPED.

Bring her back when you travel for the Christmas celebrations as your daughter needs to bond with you at this stage of her development. If any man is uncomfortable with the reality of your daughter, it is an indication that you should not have a relationship with him as the existence of your daughter should be known upfront by any man who cones your way.

I agree with those saying bring them back. Take good care of your daughter. No let your pikin come hate you or lose a relationship with her over a unsure condition.
I had greater issues than a child outside wedluck but never hid them from my suitors because in the end them go still know, so better be plain from the start. That u can take care of your child is a great sign of responsibility.
Be Strong My Strong Nigerian Woman!

Please bring back your child and know the kind of men you deal with. Look for a single Dad too or a very matured man that knows the place of your child in your life. Children are capital given to us by God for investment. It is not the duty of your mom to train your child, she has already done hers by training you. Bring her back and teach her how to be today's woman. Invest your time, energy, money and emotions in her. Set the record so that when a man comes in, he will know the child's worth. Don't make her feel abandoned

LadyBeee:
I had a child in 2015. Her father abandoned us and ran away, so I took up the responsibility of taking care of her till she was 4 years. Was staying in lagos with my mum. My mum later relocated to the village and requested that I bring my daughter to stay with her since I was still single and need to get married. My daughter has been my good luck charm since I had her. Things became so easy for me. My bank account trippled and God's Grace has always been with me. Everything she needed was provided for. Since I took her to my mum last year, I've been so lonely. I miss her so much. I plan to bring her back when I travel for Christmas but people re advising me not to try it because it would block my chances of getting married. But it's been one year since she travelled and yet, I haven't even seen the husband that I'm searching for. It doesn't make any difference if she were here or not. I even had suitors when she was still with me but now i dont even have any serious person asking for my hand in marriage. My mum doesn't want me to bring her back. I am also undecided about bringing her back. Please i need your mature advice on this issue. Thanks as I await your opinions.

You had suitors and drove them away? Why didn't they stay? Is it your bad attitude?

Baldwretch:


You had suitors and drove them away? Why didn't they stay? Is it your bad attitude?

It's not every suitor that's suitable...

Baldwretch:


You had suitors and drove them away? Why didn't they stay? Is it your bad attitude?

No. They were after something. You won't understand. Like I said earlier, I was cautious. Once bitten, twice shy

LadyBeee:
No. They were after something. You won't understand. Like I said earlier, I was cautious. Once bitten, twice shy

Lol, I won't understand? Wetin man want again besides sex? Anyway sis, I pray the Almighty sends that man that would commit soon. Amen?

yeyeosoronga:


It's not every suitor that's suitable...

I agree, some just want casual fun and nothing serious, but should we call them suitors?

LadyBeee:
I had a child in 2015. Her father abandoned us and ran away, so I took up the responsibility of taking care of her till she was 4 years. Was staying in lagos with my mum. My mum later relocated to the village and requested that I bring my daughter to stay with her since I was still single and need to get married. My daughter has been my good luck charm since I had her. Things became so easy for me. My bank account trippled and God's Grace has always been with me. Everything she needed was provided for. Since I took her to my mum last year, I've been so lonely. I miss her so much. I plan to bring her back when I travel for Christmas but people re advising me not to try it because it would block my chances of getting married. But it's been one year since she travelled and yet, I haven't even seen the husband that I'm searching for. It doesn't make any difference if she were here or not. I even had suitors when she was still with me but now i dont even have any serious person asking for my hand in marriage. My mum doesn't want me to bring her back. I am also undecided about bringing her back. Please i need your mature advice on this issue. Thanks as I await your opinions.

So because you want to marry, you dumped your daughter in the village? Unbelievable. Wont you still need to tell whomever you are marrying that you have a daughter?

ireneidiva:

So because you want to marry, you dumped your daughter in the village? Unbelievable. Wont you still need to tell whomever you are marrying that you have a daughter?

excuse me! I didn't dump her. She's with my mother and she's taking good care of her

LadyBeee:
excuse me! I didn't dump her. She's with my mother and she's taking good care of her

In the village? Please get your daughter.

Please bring home your child.

At her young age, your daughter needs to bond w| her mother. She should be staying w| you. You can always take her to visit her grandmother.

[quote author=LadyBeee post=83665728][/quote]

Please for the love of Mike, go back and take your child. A child should be raised by the mother and not the grandmother.

You will get married if it is so destined. Hiding your daughter so that you can further your own interests will not bode well for all involved.

Do you plan to lie to the man you want to marry that you don't have a child?

Have you considered the implications of keeping your daughter with your mother?

She will grow up to regard you as her aunty.

What if she becomes sexually abused in the village? What if she becomes pregnant for some village boy?

Your mother shouldn't have taken that child with her 'cept that she wants her granddaughter to be with her not minding the fact that the mother of the child is still very much alive.

Celebrate your daughter and be proud of her. Show her off every single chance you've got. She's your precious gift.

Don't be ashamed of her.

Please, don't delegate the welfare and upbringing of your child to anyone. You are still alive. Be there 24/7 for your daughter.

You may even need to sacrifice your happiness and the prospect of future marriage just to see that your daughter is properly raised.

Grandparents have a tendency of SPOILING their grandchildren.she can always go and spend holidays with her grandma.

Thanks for not aborting her. You are already blessed for that. Now step up and be her mother.

op op op, I just hope you will never regret taking that child to the village. Your story remains me of an old mama like that. This was same thing she did by taking her daughter to the village. She got married like she wanted , but the day the Young Man got to know that his wife already had a child that was hide in the village, that was the end of a peaceful marriage. The husband went and married a fresh girl who just finished secondary School and when people question him, the man use the first wife mistake as an excuse to why he married new wife. To crown it all, the child that was hided in the village grown up to love her grand ma and dislike her biological mother.
So it up to you make your final decision base on this long episode I narrated.

Make a decision and stick with it. You unsettle the child and stunt her development with the indecision.

With or without a child, It changes nothing when your man shows up.

FrLukas:


Please for the love of Mike, go back and take your child. A child should be raised by the mother and not the grandmother.

You will get married if it is so destined. Hiding your daughter so that you can further your own interests will not bode well for all involved.

Do you plan to lie to the man you want to marry that you don't have a child?

Have you considered the implications of keeping your daughter with your mother?

She will grow up to regard you as her aunty.

What if she becomes sexually abused in the village? What if she becomes pregnant for some village boy?

Your mother shouldn't have taken that child with her 'cept that she wants her granddaughter to be with her not minding the fact that the mother of the child is still very much alive.

Celebrate your daughter and be proud of her. Show her off every single chance you've got. She's your precious gift.

Don't be ashamed of her.

Please, don't delegate the welfare and upbringing of your child to anyone. You are still alive. Be there 24/7 for your daughter.

You may even need to sacrifice your happiness and the prospect of future marriage just to see that your daughter is properly raised.

Grandparents have a tendency of SPOILING their grandchildren.she can always go and spend holidays with her grandma.

Thanks for not aborting her. You are already blessed for that. Now step up and be her mother.

and what about the father? Must it be only me?

wait you allowed your child to go to the village to make suitors feel you are single?
You actually denied your child motherly care which nobody in this world would have given not even your mother.

Both you and your mum are a little bit selfish. (Sorry to say).
You, you are more interested in getting married than the future of that smallie. Mummy on the other hand is using marriage as an excuse to have her grand child by her side 24/7.
Go and bring that girl back to the city.
Forget about getting married. If it comes for you, fine. But if it doesn't, no big deal. Just find happiness in your baby.

That babe doesn't deserve to grow up in the village. She needs to stay in the city and get exposed.
As she grows up, she'll get to learn many things from the hundreds of opportunities that abound in Lagos.
But you should be very careful with her. Lagos life is both good and bad. If she grows up in a bad environment, you'll not like what she'll become.
Handle her well and you'll be glad you had her.
But whatever it is, pull her out of that village.

All the best.

24kmagic:
Both you and your mum are a little bit selfish. (Sorry to say).
You, you are more interested in getting married than the future of that smallie. Mummy on the other hand is using marriage as an excuse to have her grand child by her side 24/7.
Go and bring that girl back to the city.
Forget about getting married. If it comes for you, fine. But if it doesn't, no big deal. Just find happiness in your baby.

That babe doesn't deserve to grow up in the village. She needs to stay in the city and get exposed.
As she grows up, she'll get to learn many things from the hundreds of opportunities that abound in Lagos.
But you should be very careful with her. Lagos life is both good and bad. If she grows up in a bad environment, you'll not like what she'll become.
Handle her well and you'll be glad you had her.
But whatever it is, pull her out of that village.

All the best.

This is actually very insensitive. She should forget bout marriage because someone put her in the family way before wedlock?

Nah, you should think your words a second time before writing them.


I always go against the grain in many aspect of discussons so let me advocate for the OP a bit and criticize her a bit. I hope she reads this.

The truth is, many and I mean many potential suitors who see her and her kid would subconsciously assume she's married, so in a sense, her state is driving potential suitors away. At the mall. In the market. Her customers. Would you woo a damsel you met on the street who's with her kid? No, you would not, and only flingers would. Let' tell ourselves the truth. Single mothers have a somewhat slimmer chance of getting a mate. It's real. It's hard. We shouldn't be oblivious to it.

On the other hand, she should tell men who she senses may be interested in her about her mistake before it gets serious. That's the turning point of her actions to me. She didn't really do bad (save for child's exposure) keeping child in her mother's place in the village.

Let me give you one example: There's a single mother in the church I worshiped while I lived in the SW some months ago. This woman gave me signal like kilode, hmm, but she has a child; she breastfeeds in my presence. She's very okay and I would be willing to settle down with her if providence permits, but she has a child. Fullstop.

On the other hand, if I was oblivious to the fact that she has a child before the relationship gained momentum, I would be incredibly hard-pressed to call it quit because she has a child. I just would never do it. You may call me a bad person but that's my cup of tea, haha, we are different. Who cares the worth of your home's interior when the exterior looks like a garbage dump. You get my point.

LadyBeee:
I had a child in 2015. Her father abandoned us and ran away, so I took up the responsibility of taking care of her till she was 4 years. Was staying in lagos with my mum. My mum later relocated to the village and requested that I bring my daughter to stay with her since I was still single and need to get married. My daughter has been my good luck charm since I had her. Things became so easy for me. My bank account trippled and God's Grace has always been with me. Everything she needed was provided for. Since I took her to my mum last year, I've been so lonely. I miss her so much. I plan to bring her back when I travel for Christmas but people re advising me not to try it because it would block my chances of getting married. But it's been one year since she travelled and yet, I haven't even seen the husband that I'm searching for. It doesn't make any difference if she were here or not. I even had suitors when she was still with me but now i dont even have any serious person asking for my hand in marriage. My mum doesn't want me to bring her back. I am also undecided about bringing her back. Please i need your mature advice on this issue. Thanks as I await your opinions.

Wether she is staying with you or not, once it's God's time for your suitors to come they will come

If she is staying with your mum and your mum can't let her go, pls leave her with your mum as that's the only play mate she has at home

If you bring her down, and you need to go clubbing or parting over night, where will you keep her

Any man that comes to you, he must be notified of your daughter and if he loves you, he will love your daughter

Once in holiday times, she and mum can come and spend the holidays with you

Your mum have all the time on earth to train her for you I terms of discipline and correction

Keep making the money you will need when you finally get married

Lastly, lower your standard to get a man that you will be complacent with and start life with him

If your standards are high, you may not start with a one room man

Forget about her dad, he is not coming back and don't wait for him, move on and carry your child and mum along