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Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed - Family - Nairaland

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Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Simpleete: 4:49pm On Nov 05, 2019
Dear All,

Taking this drastic decision has not been easy with me so far,but I will appreciate mature counsel only.

I got married to a lady and we have one issue(child),but she had a male child for her ex before I got married to her.However due to certain issues I discovered after our marriage and in our marriage I got offended and travelled out,and in the process I proposed to another lady who seems more appreciable to me and in the process of our relationship we had an issue as well.On returning from my travel I told my wife all that happened to make her aware.Right now with all I have been through with this other lady I feel very guilty abandoning her right now,but want to go into marrying her next week.Though I have made her know I had a family before,but want to start a new life with her in my new base,does the law prohibit this?
Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by OTayobami(m): 4:52pm On Nov 05, 2019
You are not 1 serious person

32 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by OTayobami(m): 4:54pm On Nov 05, 2019
You had a wife before, and you want to marry another or had plans settling with another in the name of starting a new life at your new base?

*Modified*
Wait! What if you discovered something wrong with this one later, what would you do? Travel to another base, to get another girl, to start another life again?

50 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Carbon2Oxide: 4:57pm On Nov 05, 2019
You are actually more wicked here... embarassed

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Carbon2Oxide: 4:58pm On Nov 05, 2019
And you type like an arrogant person too

9 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 4:59pm On Nov 05, 2019
Big boy!!!!! The guy got offended and travelled.



when me I get offended, I go to ketu junction to drink jèdí......

23 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by 1kbusiness: 5:00pm On Nov 05, 2019
grin grin
They wee soon come for you.

Lemme grab a chair.

2 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 5:03pm On Nov 05, 2019
Carbon2Oxide:
You are actually more wicked here... embarassed

He said he found out the wife had a child with her ex after their marriage.....that huge ooooo..

As regards starting a new life with the abroad wife...:that a Nigerian way of saying he wants to get citizenship...

4 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Carbon2Oxide: 5:05pm On Nov 05, 2019
1StopRudeness:


He said he found out the wife had a child with her ex after their marriage.....that huge ooooo..

As regards starting a new life with the abroad wife...:that a Nigerian way of saying he wants to get citizenship...

That child came before the marriage. Thats her past even though she should have told him

6 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by olabrinks(f): 5:08pm On Nov 05, 2019
.
Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 5:08pm On Nov 05, 2019
Simpleete:
Dear All,

Taking this drastic decision has not been easy with me so far,but I will appreciate mature counsel only.

I got married to a lady and we have one issue(child),but she had a male child for her ex before I got married to her.However due to certain issues I discovered after our marriage and in our marriage I got offended and travelled out,and in the process I proposed to another lady who seems more appreciable to me and in the process of our relationship we had an issue as well.On returning from my travel I told my wife all that happened to make her aware.Right now with all I have been through with this other lady I feel very guilty abandoning her right now,but want to go into marrying her next week.Though I have made her know I had a family before,but want to start a new life with her in my new base,does the law prohibit this?

While traveling abroad, if u didn’t disclose while filling the form online that u are married...u are free to do whateva u want....if u said u are married and have a child...
I think it’s best u have documentary evidence of divorce before u go and initiate marriage proceedings with a citizen of that country

I don’t know of other countries..the Uk home office can possibly bounce ur marriage on such grounds even though ur marriage was registered under another jurisdiction...

2 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by liberalchick(f): 5:09pm On Nov 05, 2019
1StopRudeness:


He said he found out the wife had a child with her ex after their marriage.....that huge ooooo..

As regards starting a new life with the abroad wife...:that a Nigerian way of saying he wants to get citizenship...

He knew about her first child before they got married. New issues cropped up during their marriage.

20 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 5:12pm On Nov 05, 2019
olabrinks:
You have a wife. She lied to you about her child, fair enough but there’s a reason why she lied. The shame of single motherhood in Nigeria is so bad, she was probably ashamed. You are jumping from woman to woman thinking that will solve your problem, misery awaits you, you hear?

My friend go back to your wife and stop behaving like a child. Marriage is full of challenges, better deal with it.

It’s enuf reason to end a marriage..it’s called deception....why bring out the child later.....she has assumed well the marriage is done already, there’s nothing the man can do...that’s bullshitt.

a lot of men don’t want women with children, and some men don’t mind...why hide such when it’s a factor for men..:
A child is a whole human being..... u don’t hide that and trick a man into a marriage saying u have reasons...

1 Like

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 5:13pm On Nov 05, 2019
liberalchick:


He knew about her first child before they got married. New issues cropped up during their marriage.

That’s not what I read..he said he found out in the marriage

1 Like

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by liberalchick(f): 5:16pm On Nov 05, 2019
1StopRudeness:


While traveling abroad, if u didn’t disclose while filling the form online that u are married...u are free to do whateva u want... if u said u are married and have a child...
I think it’s best u have documentary evidence of divorce before u go and initiate marriage proceedings with a citizen of that country

I don’t know of other countries..the Uk home office can possibly bounce ur marriage on such grounds even though ur marriage was registered under another jurisdiction...

OP, this except the bolded. Most countries where polygamy is illegal accept marriages from another country as valid, so your second marriage to this woman will become invalid if there is proof you have contracted marriage to another.

If you want to get married again, you would’ve to legally divorce your first wife. It seems you like running away from issues rather than deal with them. Please do the right thing and give your wife closure.

12 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 5:17pm On Nov 05, 2019
Carbon2Oxide:


That child came before the marriage. Thats her past even though she should have told him

It’s her past.... but it’s the guy’s present. she never allowed the guy process such information b4 making marriage decisions.....

This is clear deception... everyone in this world knows that a child from a previous relationship is a possible deal breaker for many guys...while some guys don’t mind.....it’s almost like hiding the fact that u lost ur womb to a past abortion from a previous relationship....and u just expect him to forget just because the marriage ceremony is done...when there’s a huge possibility he might not have gone ahead with the marriage if he knew the fiancé was an after-1

5 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 5:18pm On Nov 05, 2019
You're legally married to someone and went proposing to another. Na wa ooo.


1StopRudeness:


That’s not what I read..he said he found out in the marriage
Then read it again because that's not what he said.

Don't put words into his mouth or make excuses for him.

1 Like

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by bujebudanu1(m): 5:21pm On Nov 05, 2019
liberalchick:


[s]He knew about her first child before they got married. New issues cropped up during their marriage[/s].


He discovered during the marriage.
Read and understand again
Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 5:25pm On Nov 05, 2019
theButterfly:
You're legally married to someone and went proposing to another woman. Na wa ooo.


Then read it again because that's not what he said.

U are the one that needs to go read it again...that’s the reason he said he got angry and travelled abroad...cos he found out in the marriage..
Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by StPete: 5:29pm On Nov 05, 2019
bujebudanu1:



He discovered during the marriage.
Read and understand again

You’re the one who seem not to understand his write up. The person you quoted was right, read and understand.




As for the OP, my verdict is that you’re not mentally mature for marriage

1 Like

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by boldx(m): 5:34pm On Nov 05, 2019
Will comment later
Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by liberalchick(f): 5:46pm On Nov 05, 2019
OTayobami:

*Modified*
Wait! What if you discovered something wrong with this one later, what would you do? Travel to another base, to get another girl, to start another life again?

lol very confused being. He had issues with his wife, he ran away to start another relationship. He had issues with the new woman, he ran away again, back to his wife. However, his papers conscience got the better of him, now he wants to do the right by his new family.

17 Likes

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 6:09pm On Nov 05, 2019
The OP married his wife knowing she had a male child with her ex before the marriage, meaning this was and is not the issue for him. It's baffling that you and Bujebudanu1 are trying to make it one and saying what he did not. It seems you both didn't comprehend his post.


1StopRudeness:


U are the one that needs to go read it again...that’s the reason he said he got angry and travelled abroad...cos he found out in the marriage..

1 Like

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 6:17pm On Nov 05, 2019
theButterfly:
The OP married his wife knowing she had a male child with her ex before the marriage, meaning this was and is not the issue for him. It's baffling that you and Bujebudanu1 are trying to make it one and saying what he did not. It seems you both didn't comprehend his post.



Can u explain what the OP said annoyed him and caused him to travelled abroad
Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 6:20pm On Nov 05, 2019
If I understood you then I could advise you but I ain't got a scobby doo... undecided

1 Like

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by ireneidiva(f): 6:30pm On Nov 05, 2019
1StopRudeness:


Can u explain what the OP said annoyed him and caused him to travelled abroad
Oga calm down and read the story well na. The man stated other issues came up after the marriage. He knew about the baby before the marriage. Read well.

1 Like

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 6:46pm On Nov 05, 2019
He did not specify what the "certain issues" are - that led to him travelling out [he said "out" not abroad/he could've traveled to another state in Nigeria], and unfortunately I reside not in his mind and cannot speak for him nor will I concoct what isn't stated in his post like you're doing. Perhaps you should be directing your question to him.

1StopRudeness:


Can u explain what the OP said annoyed him and caused him to travelled abroad
Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 6:52pm On Nov 05, 2019
ireneidiva:

Oga calm down and read the story well na. The man stated other issues came up after the marriage. He knew about the baby before the marriage. Read well.


Please...:which one is calm down....who is fighting you??

did u read the part he said “however, Due to certain issues I found out after the marriage”

So what did he find out exactly....why is he using “however”... if not to connect the initial statement that the wife had a baby before....I don’t know how u read ooooo...obviously it’s different from how I read..

And that goes for u too thebutterfly
Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 6:55pm On Nov 05, 2019
theButterfly:
He did not specify what the "certain issues" are - that led to his travelling out [he said "out" not abroad/he could've traveled to another state in Nigeria], and unfortunately I reside not in his mind and cannot speak for him nor will I concoct what isn't stated in his post like you're doing. Perhaps you should be directing your question to him.


Let’s not argue any further...I’m tired...he knew about the baby...are u happy now...

@ireneidiva
Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by Nobody: 7:12pm On Nov 05, 2019
Yes, I am.


1StopRudeness:


Let’s not argue any further...I’m tired...he knew about the baby...are u happy now...

@ireneidiva

1 Like

Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by ireneidiva(f): 8:02pm On Nov 05, 2019
1StopRudeness:



Please...:which one is calm down....who is fighting you??

did u read the part he said “however, Due to certain issues I found out after the marriage”

So what did he find out exactly....why is he using “however”... if not to connect the initial statement that the wife had a baby before....I don’t know how u read ooooo...obviously it’s different from how I read..

And that goes for u too thebutterfly
You really don't know how to read o. You connected 'however' to that? For real? Me sef don tire abeg.
Re: Can I Still Marry Her,advise Needed by drmikeadams(m): 8:19pm On Nov 05, 2019
Simpleete:
Dear All,

Taking this drastic decision has not been easy with me so far,but I will appreciate mature counsel only.

I got married to a lady and we have one issue(child),but she had a male child for her ex before I got married to her.However due to certain issues I discovered after our marriage and in our marriage I got offended and travelled out,and in the process I proposed to another lady who seems more appreciable to me and in the process of our relationship we had an issue as well.On returning from my travel I told my wife all that happened to make her aware.Right now with all I have been through with this other lady I feel very guilty abandoning her right now,but want to go into marrying her next week.Though I have made her know I had a family before,but want to start a new life with her in my new base,does the law prohibit this?
grin grin grin.


U see as ur prick dey make u dey complicate ur children lives

1 Like

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