KanuSE:


Stop buying him wine coz he could easily get himself a carton if he wants. I believe he would be fascinated if you can show the man in you with regards to conflict resolution. What I mean by 'the man in you' is finding an amicable way of warming up to him i.e tell it to his face that you miss him a lot & you need him - a child's words are powerful!

He may kick you out once again but do not be deterred coz he would have heard those words and in his solitary time those strong words would reverberate in his ears until he looks in your direction.

Secondly, write down those moments you needed him most in your life, those instances you felt only he could fit in. This is necessary so that you won't forget to let him know when he finally grants you an audience.

Do not bring up your mum's issue coz you wanna fix you&him first - don't throw a spanner in the works. Try not to create a tensed atmosphere for this kind of conversation, be relaxed and ask if he would like to talk over a drink.

You're his blood remember, that's your DAD.

super story

This right here is exactly the point. Life is unfair you know?
You earn my RESPECT!!

ibkayee:


Yeah I think he's doing it to get along, which is the safest and most 'peaceful' approach, it just sucks that it won't address let alone fix the deep underlying issues. That's life I guess so I don't blame him

JONNYSPUTE:
..That's not the right way to go about it.Let us endeavour to show love and forgiveness at all times. If not for the other party but for your own sake.What he did is not bad.

you are truly the peacemaker.

IceColdVeins:
This right here is exactly the point. Life is unfair you know?
You earn my RESPECT!!

Yup

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Good you can now get a clearer picture of the whole scenario.

The op was corny for that. He painted a wrong narrative of how he apologized to his deadbeat dad and i can understand the reason people made the comments they made in the first two pages . What came to my mind when i first read his comments was oh ,his father is rich now he is the one going to apologize to his rich dead beat father. But now we know why, the op is just late to the party,all his other siblings have dine that even his mum and dad now live together. Very interesting.

Graxie:
super story

You need a remarkable date... seriously!

lol you are my buddy oooo, its by force..Not deliberately though.

Ladycewhy:
lol i am not chewing on anything ,and i am not your buddy ,just pointing out what i think cos you deliberately changed the narrative and left people to form their opinions blindly.

ibkayee:

Yup

9ice DP. Those cleavage tho, wish i can bury my pee pee inside

Ryan03:
ah! Now I get the whole picture. But icecoldveins you should have stated that the first time na, it means your dad has apologized to your mum and settled everything while you refused to mend fences (I stand corrected). You should have been plain from the beginning

i just tire for the guy, giving half stories here and there.

BRATISLAVA:


What emotions? Logically if the man is so bad, why sentimentally going back to him because of illogical fear?

Are you saying you've been perfect all your life ? We all deserve a second chance. Let's just enjoy every moment of our life and take every burden off our mind . We should learn to forgive and forget and move on with our lives. Life is too short to be bitter about the happenings of life .

IceColdVeins:
lol you are my buddy oooo, its by force..Not deliberately though.

see how you made people to be insulting themselves on this thread ,i dey vex for you o. If to say i nor do investigation now na so i for join ,becareful buddy

BRATISLAVA:
you are truly the peacemaker.

what about me?

He did not apologise at all ooo
Life is unfair you know.

Ryan03:
ah! Now I get the whole picture. But icecoldveins you should have stated that the first time na, it means your dad has apologized to your mum and settled everything while you refused to mend fences (I stand corrected). You should have been plain from the beginning

Romanoff:
Some parents will provoke their kids and will still expect an apology from them.

Meanwhile, your dad types like a teenager. Lol. See abbreviations.

Are you sure your dad in the village can hold a phone up?

Omakraid:

In one of the Op's post, he said he is the only one at loggerheads with his dad. His siblings and mum are cool with him asides the Op himself...

that info is new and was never in the original post. I guess it's been modified. And even then, we still haven't heard the crime guys mother committed that warranted the neglect

Ladycewhy:
The op was corny for that. He painted a wrong narrative of how he apologized to his deadbeat dad and i can understand the reason people made the comments they made in the first two pages . What came to my mind when i first read his comments was oh ,his father is rich now he is the one going to apologize to his rice dead beat father. But now we know why, the op is just late to the party,all his other siblings have dine that even his mum and dad now live together. Very interesting.

..Agreed But do you see anyone apologizing even when he or she is right as a wrong thing to do? I asked because I personally can still apologize to the person that wronged me.

Ladycewhy:
i would have appreciated if IceColdVeins ran with this narrative from the beginning instead of letting this thread degenerate into something else. If i hadn't queried why he had to apologize i wouldn't have gotten this part of the detail he left out.

He made seem like he was doing it to find peace bla bla bla when the truth is the rest of the family already moved past the reconcilaition phase and he is the only one late to the party.

Thats why you should look before jumping into marriage issue

At times the person you are fighting for is not complaining.

If you dislike your father because of what he did to you and your mother no problem but dont fight on the womans behalf

The bond between husband and wife is very strong to the point of making you forget whatever the person may have done to you. Thats the only way marriage even works sef, when two of you just dey do like mumu wey no remember anything

At the end you as an outsider will be feeling like somebody lied to you

KanuSE:


what about me?

you?

abimbola74:

Are you saying you've been perfect all your life ? We all deserve a second chance. Let's just enjoy every moment of our life and take every burden off our mind . We should learn to forgive and forget and move on with our lives. Life is too short to be bitter about the happenings of life .

is this about perfection? Or it's about a guy who has a father who he said treated he and his mother badly? People depend too much on second chances, so they live their lives terribly and do wicked, stupid things just so that they will get the second chance. Many don't get it. So why not live right in the first instance?

midnighter:


Thats why you should look before jumping into marriage issue

At times the person you are fighting for is not complaining.

If you dislike your father because of what he did to you and your mother no problem but dont fight on the womans behalf

The bond between husband and wife is very strong to the point of making you forget whatever the person may have done to you. Thats the only way even marriage works sef, when two of you just dey do like mumu wey no remember anything

True i would rather let the kids feel the rejection themselves. My uncle was the one that pushed his kids away, they will go to him for school fees he will tell them to go to their mother, they will go for holiday, he will say nasty things to them and even about their mother ,till they stopped going to see him. So many things i dont want to touch on. My mum even had to take my cousin in take the load off their mother,she sef tire for her brother. Lol

So its better the kids see the rejection themselves.

BRATISLAVA:
you?

One thing that bothers me is that expression 'Deadbeat', why coin such a word if people mean well.

I think if they had the chance they prolly prefer the runaway dad dead.

Wicked people everywhere.

BRATISLAVA:
you are truly the peacemaker.

.. Most times,I do apologise even if I'm right.Like there was a day I came back and noticed that my wife is not happy. I didn't bother to start asking what the problem was,I simply held her and said,i'm sorry for anything that might be the problem cause I believe as the keeper of the house,I should keep it in order.Does that make me weak ? No. Rather it shows maturity.Lets stop seeing people like that as fools. Note. Sometimes I do apologise to my staffs just to reassure them that we are one and equal.

No not like tha.

I want peace doesnt mean all is well.

midnighter:


Thank you

He just has to save himself from being awkwardly frozen out of the family since his mother doesnt have any quarrel with the man again

JONNYSPUTE:
..Agreed But do you see anyone apologizing even when he or she is right as a wrong thing to do? I asked because I personally can still apologize to the person that wronged me.

This is not a matter of wrong or right,i find it very intriguing. I watched the video of the guy that hugged his brother's killer in court. I was intrigued.

I have heard of stockholme syndrome who knows what we will call that part. I am more interested in finding out the psychological pathway behind it that if it is right or wrong.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Most times,I do apologise even if I'm right.Like there was a day I came back and noticed that my wife is not happy. I didn't bother to start asking what the problem was,I simply held her and said,i'm sorry for anything that might be the problem cause I believe as the keeper of the house,I should keep it in order.Does that make me weak ? No. Rather it shows maturity.Lets stop seeing people like that as fools. Note. Sometimes I do apologise to my staffs just to reassure them that we are one and equal.

keep it up. It takes a lot to lead. And I mean true leadership.

Ladycewhy:
True i would rather let the kids feel the rejection themselves. My uncle was the one that pushed his kids away, they will go to him for school fees he will tell them to go to their mother, they will go for holiday, he will say nasty things to them and even about their mother ,till they stopped going to see him. So many things i dont want to touch on. My mum even had to take my cousin in take the load off their mother,she sef tire for her brother. Lol

So its better than kids see the rejection themselves.

Exactly, not the one the lady will stop them from going to see their dad "because I dont want him to poison you against me"

If the fellow is really as useless as you think, let everybody see it for themselves. You cant shield a person all his life. At least a child must be curious about his parent

Now your cousin can never blame your auntie for depriving her of her father so her conscience is clear

Why would you, a child, get yourself involved in fights between your parents?

IceColdVeins:
No not like tha.

I want peace doesnt mean all is well.

Yes dear, its not well but try not to implicate yourself so as not to appear as a troublemaker

Ladycewhy:
This is not a matter of wrong or right,i find it very intriguing. I watched the video of the guy that hugged his brother's killer in court. I was intrigued.

I have heard of stockholme syndrome who knows what we will call that part. I am more interested in finding out the psychological pathway behind it that if it is right or wrong.

.. Ok. Like me for example. I do it most times. I mean apologizing to the other party even if I'm right. I don't see anything there. Sometimes it's ego and pride that makes people see it as a special stuff.

midnighter:


Exactly, not the one the lady will stop them from going to see their dad "because I dont want him to poison you against me"

If the fellow is really as useless as you think, let everybody see it for themselves. You cant shield a person all his life. At least a child must be curious about his parent

Now your cousin can never blame your auntie for depriving her of her father so her conscience is clear

The first son that raised a cutlass on him while they were still kids because he was beating their mum has mended fences but they are just cool,na still all man for himself you know those kind of hi hello kind of relationship, but my cousin my mum raised that one nor wan hear o, still addresses him as old man. Lol

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Ok. Like me for example. I do it most times. I mean apologizing to the other party even if I'm right. I don't see anything there. Sometimes it's ego and pride that makes people see it as a special stuff.

I see ,i need to learn this ,i can apologize when wrong, but not when i have been wronged ,i would rather tell you how you wronged me and tell you i forgive you instead of telling you to forgive me for wronging me.

Lewandoski20:


Are you sure your dad in the village can hold a phone up?

Sadly, my dad died about 12 years ago. If your mum had known you'd be this daft, she for use you do menstruation instead of bringing you into this world to be this senseless.

Talk about my dad one more time and watch me take you to the cleaners.

Uduozuo.