somehow:


The parents were never separated, he was the one that went AWOL against his dad based on reasons best known to him.!

this op is manipulating narrative, na wah o

theoilguy:


Exactly!! They just do not want to loose out the potential windfall from the death of their father and they are here preaching about forgiveness.. the fact that someone is your parent or your sibling doesn’t give them permission to be toxic..

Become successful and see if your father will not reconsider!

When you have kids and one turns out to be the black sheep, just get a knife and delete him/her ok.

It's natural for people to do right or wrong and it's not out of the ordinary but our intelligence can help to leverage.

Ladycewhy:
i think the op is the one who defended his mum the most during the time when his parents had issues, ever heard of the saying "dem nor dey talk put for husband and wife matter"? This is what played out. He was the most vocal of them all and now that his parents have settled he is going to be affected more in fixing his relationship with his dad. Hence the apology and gift. Imagine everyone except you is now cool with the person all of you used to beef, now i understand why the op needed to apologize ,he needed to fix the relationship with his dad at any cost lest he becomes the black sheep of the family.

Maybe he insulted the father
fought him physically
became rebellious

now his conscience is having him for dinner now that he is about to become a man too

This thread is by far the most emotional one I have read on this platform, so much hope, despair, sentiments,bitterness all envelope in one hell of a post, although I have a lot on my mind, I choose not too yet.

Ladycewhy:
my bf/husband is aware of dunderheads like you on nairaland,so he will not have a problem with it. Now shooo,off you go. --------->

You're not even sure...lol state of confusion indeed.

Now I know where the problem lies...sorry ehn!

Dande55:

You are right.
I'd rather abort that child than raise him/her alone after the rejection and humiliation from the man's part.
God forbid. Some women never learn.
Men always know that those children will still come back to them hence, they misbehave hoping to welcome back the fruits they never watered and it has never failed.
Women wake up!! Don't train your child alone unless you are a widow.

So you'll rather kill an innocent child because of your stupid mistake?

DRPAIT123:
This thread is by far the most emotional one I have read on this platform, so much hope, despair, sentiments,bitterness all envelope in one hell of a post, although I have a lot on my mind, I choose not too yet.

This was the intention , the beauty is in the diverse emotions and reactions.

Don't you appreciate the complexity of humans?

midnighter:


Yes dear, its not well but try not to implicate yourself so as not to appear as a troublemaker

He painted his dad black to feel justified for his rebellion.

If the dad was a demon, why then is he apologizing?

He must have vowed not to get anything from his dad for that 6 years even though the same dad raised him for 20yrs

your conscience has deprived you of peace!

He's afraid of karma!

KanuSE:



You're not even sure...lol state of confusion indeed.

Now I know where the problem lies...sorry ehn!

lol, you think i will play into your stupid games? You want to know my relationship status, boy you aint that sleek. Go learn more tricks.boy. Actually with way you have been jyrating on this thread one would think you and the other attention seeker shouting in capital letters have mummy issues ,lol freeing themselves from maternal slavery. so you see you are the one with the problems ,whatever bones you have to pick with the women in your life, leave me out of it.

Nairaland. Lol

somehow:


Maybe he insulted the father
fought him physically
became rebellious

now his conscience is having him for dinner now that he is about to become a man too

what i dont appreciate is misleading people with the narrative he painted.very tastless and tacky.

Ladycewhy:
what i dont appreciate his misleading people with the narrative he painted.very tastless and tacky.

This is why I hardly respond instantly to a post, I wait for supporting comment from the op or I ask questions!

No one ever paint themselves guilty or bad in their own narrative!

Ladycewhy:
lol, you think i will play into you stupid games? You want to know my relationship status, boy you aint that sleek. Go learn more tricks.boy. Actually with way you have been jyrating on this thread one would think you and the other attention seeker shouting in capital letters have mummy issues ,lol freeing themselves from maternal slavery. so you see you are the one with the problems ,whatever bones you have to pick with the women in your life, leave me out of it.

Loool you're a handful seriously. Also, it's kinda easy to hide the fact one has no confidence in their relationship let alone their other half...

We Sweet Boys Association are proud of ours and we flaunt it...no sweat!

If you smell it and want a bite, please jump on it.

somehow:


This is why I hardly respond instantly to a post, I wait for supporting comment from the op or I ask questions!

No one ever paint themselves guilty or bad in their own narrative!

i wanted to jump on the train too. Infact my first comment leaned towards that cos i was angry the op was giving a pat on the back to his bead beat father when the rest of the family were not aware or in support.

Not knowing it was a different narrative all together.

BRATISLAVA:
how sure are you that we are feminists, either male or female?

maybe the tone of your argument?

KanuSE:


Loool you're a handful seriously. Also, it's kinda easy to hide the fact one has no confidence in their relationship let alone their other half...

We Sweet Boys Association are proud of ours and we flaunt it...no sweat!

If you smell it and want a bite, please jump on it.

you are so thirsty. Lol OK you have been noticed. Have a great day.

Ladycewhy:
i wanted to jump on the train too. Infact my first comment leaned towards that cos i was angry the op was giving a pat on the back to his bead beat father when the rest of the family were not aware or in support.

Not knowing it was a different narrative all together.

The thread actually gave us another way to learn in life and how not to tackle issues or judge others

Kindly need advise please

My child's father is not present in her life,his family helps in raising her,my problem now is that he neither calls nor ask about his child,even when i was pregnant. I've forgiven him for my own peace of mind and i'm also trying to move on. His sisters are now demanding that i keep mentioning him to my child,i told them that whenever the dad wants a part in his daughters life that i won't hold him back.

BRATISLAVA:


So now that you heard his side it has justified the cruel treatment to your mother that you said made her to suffer? What do your unborn children have to do with his unkindness to your mother?. Problem is that many men do evil to their wives not knowing that the people who will never forgive them are the children. The way your unborn children will have nothing to do with this is if you treat your future wife well. I have no pity for men who do evil and get abandoned by their kids. This is why abuse in any form is foolishness, because it is the children who will suffer it not even the spouse you want to hurt. His side means nothing. The oppressors do not need sympathy except from fellow oppressors. And yes, it will be taken as a pat on the back. Loyal or disloyal, nobody deserves to be abused . Just divorce. Don't torture yourself and kids.

There's ALWAYS two sides to a story and saying his side means NOTHING doesn't convey maturity and appreciation of circumstances..

Before you jump in and judge a case,ALWAYS endeavor to here the two sides,you might just be amazed by the truth that might crawl out..

#MYTWOCENTS

Ladycewhy:
you are so thirsty. Lol OK you have been noticed. Have a great day.

Lol

somehow:


The thread actually gave us another way to learn in life and how not to tackle issues or judge others

True, but the baby daddy commitee where already gyrating and foaming in the mouth one even called it "freeing ones self from maternal slavery" lol what does that even mean? Geez sick dudes with bones to pick with their mothers.

DaphneBr:
Kindly need advise please

My child's father is not present in her life,his family helps in raising her,my problem now is that he neither calls nor ask about his child,even when i was pregnant. I've forgiven him for my own peace of mind and i'm also trying to move on. His sisters are now demanding that i keep mentioning him to my child,i told them that whenever the dad wants a part in his daughters life that i won't hold him back.

Ladycewhy & BRATISLAVA must not see this o...

DaphneBr:
Kindly need advise please

My child's father is not present in her life,his family helps in raising her,my problem now is that he neither calls nor ask about his child,even when i was pregnant. I've forgiven him for my own peace of mind and i'm also trying to move on. His sisters are now demanding that i keep mentioning him to my child,i told them that whenever the dad wants a part in his daughters life that i won't hold him back.

i think what you should do is to try and take her to see him, its better kids see their fathers reject them so they don't think you manipulated them. Like my uncle did, that one will insult them and their mother when they go and ask him for school fees,its the kids that used their sense to stay away from him .

somehow:


He painted his dad black to feel justified for his rebellion.

If the dad was a demon, why then is he apologizing?

He must have vowed not to get anything from his dad for that 6 years even though the same dad raised him for 20yrs

your conscience has deprived you of peace!

He's afraid of karma!

Lol. We have all bursted it but at least he has apologised, which is the main thing.

As far as his conscience is still functional he is okay

Ladycewhy:
True, but the baby daddy commitee where already gyrating and foaming in the mouth one even called it "freeing ones self from maternal slavery" lol what does that even mean? Geez sick dudes with bones to pick with their mothers.

We're in perfect harmony with our mums coz they're not manipulative and bitter mothers.

We Sweet Boys Association just want to make the world a better place for all, including the bitter souls moaning&climaxing on this wonderful thread.

Ladycewhy:
i think what you should do is to try and take her to see him, its better kids see their fathers reject them so they don't think you manipulated them. Like my uncle did, that one will insult them and their mother when they go and ask him for school fees,its the kids that used their sense to stay away from him .

Chai... You're a devil ! So in your obnoxious half sense, the sole purpose of taking the child to her dad is to go and test him, not necessarily to bond - You are a scheming fox!

And about your uncle, you have only shown how insensitive you are as it's all about the money (school fees) isn't it?

Your uncle must see this walahi - WTF!!!

DaphneBr please don't follow this advice o! You will only create more cracks, if you know what I mean.

My 2kobo

Ladycewhy:
i think what you should do is to try and take her to see him, its better kids see their fathers reject them so they don't think you manipulated them. Like my uncle did, that one will insult them and their mother when they go and ask him for school fees,its the kids that used their sense to stay away from him .

He travelled out of the country this year,and the sisters keep making excuses for him whenever i tell them about their brother's actions towards his daughter,they keep saying that he's struggling for money and thats why he doesn't call. (he's 33 yrs old)

DaphneBr:


He travelled out of the country this year,and the sisters keep making excuses for him whenever i tell them about their brother's actions towards his daughter,they keep saying that he's struggling for money and thats why he doesn't call. (he's 33 yrs old)

if he can call his sisters then he should be able to call his daughter, there is now WhatsApp video call. Let your daughter know its not in your hands, infact take her there to his sister's place let your daughter hear the conversation.The mistakes many women make is they try to shield their kids from the rejection. If he doesn't want to be in his child's life let his child see it themselves,just be ready to be there when your kids need you and fill that void.

There is this narrative going on in the society that mothers estranged from the father of their kids are emotional recks so they use their children as weapons and turn the kids against their fathers,is that how you want your kid to perceive you ?

You better let her see and feel it herself. If possible ,request for his number from his sisters in your daughters presence. You better be wise lest you raise a child and be labelled a villain in the end, see how the op in his first comment called his mom a nagger and wailer.

DaphneBr:


He travelled out of the country this year,and the sisters keep making excuses for him whenever i tell them about their brother's actions towards his daughter,they keep saying that he's struggling for money and thats why he doesn't call. (he's 33 yrs old)

Stop listening to the likes of ladycewhy coz they will lead you there and leave you there to fight on your own.

My 2kobo

Congratulations OP for reconciling with your dad. It's a great feat. I remember when my dad returned to the east and finally started having a relationship with his family. It was a dream. My advice for men is just be a father. Two parts that made a child is needed to wholly raise the child. Providing is not an excuse to abdicate your responsibility. My own mum was providing 80% our dad 20 but she raised us alone. Things have changed my neighbour is World best dad.

One of my neighbours is world best dad. He bathes, groom,feed, teach,play and provides. Has two children under 2 and his wife is the one struggling to keep up. This one is exceptional. I was once discussing with him when his daughter is ill. He feeds her himself,takes her to hospital, discuss with the doctor,give medication himself. If he doesn't like the treatment, he takes the child to another place. Yet he has and runs a successful business.

Ladycewhy:
True, but the baby daddy commitee where already gyrating and foaming in the mouth one even called it "freeing ones self from maternal slavery" lol what does that even mean? Geez sick dudes with bones to pick with their mothers.

cut both ways