TonyeBarcanista:

Thank God you married a GREAT GUY
 
 
This is a generic term used by women when their bid to separate in-laws from their husbands failed them.


The older sisters are your own older sisters too. You have to be in their good book at all times as long as it isn't against your legitimate interest. As long as they are not telling you to do overboard


There is no manipulation whatsoever. It is you trying to separate your husband from his sisters. As a wife, you have to accept your in-laws as yours and live in peace with them as long as they aren't perpetuating evil against your interest. Your husband has lived with them for MANY years before he met you. He knows them better than you do. You have to find way to sort it with them than try to make him see reason to separate from them.

   What transpired among you in the 10 years? What is the recurring issue?

   
This is irrelevant to the subject

  
I'd do same if I was your hubby! There is no way you can claim to love hubby without showing same love and respect to his BLOOD!

  
Your mind has always been made up and you are done pretending! His elder siblings are all he has and you must take them.likewise


Go and make peace with your in-laws and stop creating this arrogance.

Do know that you will never enjoy hubby as long as you are warring with his blood!

If you like take the advice of all these frustrated, angry, bitter and aggressive feminists, and male she-men, NA YOU SABI

TonyeBarcanista:

Thank God you married a GREAT GUY
 
 
This is a generic term used by women when their bid to separate in-laws from their husbands failed them.


The older sisters are your own older sisters too. You have to be in their good book at all times as long as it isn't against your legitimate interest. As long as they are not telling you to do overboard


There is no manipulation whatsoever. It is you trying to separate your husband from his sisters. As a wife, you have to accept your in-laws as yours and live in peace with them as long as they aren't perpetuating evil against your interest. Your husband has lived with them for MANY years before he met you. He knows them better than you do. You have to find way to sort it with them than try to make him see reason to separate from them.

   What transpired among you in the 10 years? What is the recurring issue?

   
This is irrelevant to the subject

  
I'd do same if I was your hubby! There is no way you can claim to love hubby without showing same love and respect to his BLOOD!

  
Your mind has always been made up and you are done pretending! His elder siblings are all he has and you must take them.likewise


Go and make peace with your in-laws and stop creating this arrogance.

Do know that you will never enjoy hubby as long as you are warring with his blood!

If you like take the advice of all these frustrated, angry, bitter and aggressive feminists, and male she-men, NA YOU SABI

EJanni:
you are so unfortunate and pathetic. Grow up

freecocoahubby:


Women like you are just too dumb for my liking!
.. once a man refuses to lick your dirty butts, you start accusing him of "abuse"

Listen girl, there's power in words and I believe that henceforth, all the types of abuse you've listed in this stup!d comment will be your portion and the portion of any other idi0t dumb enough to agree with your senseless opinions.

jakandeola:
ur hubby is doing well and u want him for ur self alone dats wrong

Moboj:
Nigeria's culture has really promoted elders being really biased
Someone will ask for advice on how thing's hurts
Everyone hurts from different shoe's, you'll never see it from their own point of view
Since we can't know if the story is true biko just go with logic and give two scenario's
Be a logical elder and not a sentimental one

DMerciful:
Are his sisters not women like the wife? Why do women hate themselves and make men's lives miseAQ0Aable?

Oyiboman69:

The lady is jealous of their coming to their house
. she also complained that it's only when they are around,that was when the hubby will take the kids and her in-laws out. She's just being selfish if you ask me

Oyiboman69:

The lady is jealous of their coming to their house
. she also complained that it's only when they are around,that was when the hubby will take the kids and her in-laws out. She's just being selfish if you ask me

ImaIma1:


Most of these guys are single and don't even know what they are talking about. They are still running with an archaic idea of marriage.

Adedayobusayo12:
Single ladies, shine your eyes before you marry. Some men are not worth it. A man will leave his family and cleave to his wife. When you marry into a lowlife family where they all depend on kobo from the man, this is the results. Poor and aggressive siblings.

TonyeBarcanista:

I answered her in page 2.

The thing is, her SILs have no moral ground to question her Baby staying with her mother as long as HER HUSBAND permitted her to.

I have married sisters too and I don't expect them to take any decision without the permission of their husbands!

TonyeBarcanista:

Your mother/parents lost influence over you the day they accepted dowry from your husband and his family. That was the day you dropped your maiden name for your husband's name.

Why should wife's mother be having influence in marriage? You and your kids belong to your husband and his family by marriage traditions.

Once married, your culture becomes irrelevant as a woman, what is relevant is the culture of the family you are married into. But his sisters don't have any valid reason to be angry towards your mother! You only need your husband's permission, not theirs.


If your husband agreed abinitio for the distant relative to come live with you, then he should sort himself with his siblings. However, I think your husband need to also accommodate your relatives and make this clear to his sisters.

If they don't go to their brother's house, whose house should they go? You have to understand that by marriage you are also part of his family. However, as long as their coming isn't to undermine you then no cause for alarm. If they undermine you, you should sort it with your husband

This is wrong of him even though I think he wants everyone to blend. But it isn't right!

You didn't talk your own side of the conflict but conflict is imminent when two or more person live under same roof. It is up to you to decide how best to resolve and avoid further conflicts!

However, she "reporting" you is highly inappropriate. It shows she is a trouble!

If what you said is the whole truth then he should man up. But I suspect that you concealed some information

You did well and your reward will come but not necessarily from the person you showed kindness. You don't need anybody's appreciation for your good deed.

Hubby taking care of them is the appropriate thing to do to his BLOOD! There is no problem here as long as it is not at the detriment of your home. But the lasting solution is for your hubby to set them up!

As for "eating alone", I believe before you came hubby has been taking care of them, so don't expect it to change, and don't try to change him from doing that

Meanwhile, try resolve with your SILs... All of you should recognise your own fault and make amends for there to be lasting solution

Else, you may lose your man and home!


Meanwhile, I know that the story will be different when we hear the side of your SILs

Saintmary:

I'm not in a hurry

Nat404:
Reset my mindset? Hahahaha. I do not care if my wife makes me the number or not, what I value most is respect. Everyone in the house has to respect one another. Are you single or married?

ZIMDRILL:


its not a Nigerian thing only but a common bad culture among universal african customs whereby elders by birth think there are wiser than anyone younger than them and the young one tend to follow every bark by the so called elder

this woman's husband is the young who look up too much to his elders sister without realising that he is also damaging his own marriage

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

.....
.

bukatyne:
Often times, single ladies do not properly understand their men before getting married.

They don't know his stance on issues concerning in-laws, finances, relationship of the marriage, culture (what it states and his stance), religion, job/career/purpose and then they start complaining when issues arise.

If you are married to a man who believes you are an addition to his nuclear family, he will treat you different and have different expectations from when he believes you both a building a new home which is an offshoot of the extended family. Some ladies now use husband first name - last name to denote that they are a small part of a larger clan.

When I say a husband is the second most important decision a woman would ever make, it sounds like I am dragging women back to the 10th century or anti-women or anti-feminist.

If all is well, I do not know how in-laws who are not in the same space have such a great influence on the couple.

Women, shine your eyes and use your sense.

jakandeola:
dont mistake my word pls. is dis attitude DAT cause problem in a family. so bossy.we know it is ur own but dont put it DAT way please.ur hubby can still sell his house or do wat he want wit it without ur permission. DAT house belong to ur baby more Dan u

TonyeBarcanista:

Thank God you married a GREAT GUY
 
 
This is a generic term used by women when their bid to separate in-laws from their husbands failed them.


The older sisters are your own older sisters too. You have to be in their good book at all times as long as it isn't against your legitimate interest. As long as they are not telling you to do overboard


There is no manipulation whatsoever. It is you trying to separate your husband from his sisters. As a wife, you have to accept your in-laws as yours and live in peace with them as long as they aren't perpetuating evil against your interest. Your husband has lived with them for MANY years before he met you. He knows them better than you do. You have to find way to sort it with them than try to make him see reason to separate from them.

   What transpired among you in the 10 years? What is the recurring issue?

   
This is irrelevant to the subject

  
I'd do same if I was your hubby! There is no way you can claim to love hubby without showing same love and respect to his BLOOD!

  
Your mind has always been made up and you are done pretending! His elder siblings are all he has and you must take them.likewise


Go and make peace with your in-laws and stop creating this arrogance.

Do know that you will never enjoy hubby as long as you are warring with his blood!

If you like take the advice of all these frustrated, angry, bitter and aggressive feminists, and male she-men, NA YOU SABI

jakandeola:
I got lot of property will build my house soon but nothing can ever make me put my wife name.were am sweating my mum sacrifice a lot yet one woman will claim it later.a woman DAT can cheat.my baby comes first. imalma. u cant tell me to forget family cos am married

xty50:
what is wrong with you?

nautybride:


I didn't read all your posts, but getting to the part when your dowry is paid, your parents ....... Your wife is caged and in bondage, from your mentality. No insults intended. Women shine your eye very well. You are marrying the family not the man. When his family is challenging one, he is a problematic man.

TonyeBarcanista:
So a sister shouldn't visit her brother because of the arrival of a wife abi? The problem is that those of you family that are close knitted think differently.

Did the OP tell you that her husband isn't caring for her and his kids? Your problem is that you'all want the man entirely to yourselves

If that's how you see it, IT IS YOUR BUSINESS

Mutemenot:
I suggest you just forget all about them. Just close your ears and eyes to them, show them all their characters are non of your business. If possible give them all the food your husband bought for the kids, when he ask tell him you have them to his sisters. Just help the sister crucify your husband, by doing this he will realize his mistakes and then find ways to amend .never you complain or show bitterness to any of their action ok..

TonyeBarcanista:

This is why people like you always have problem in marriage. What do you mean caged? Why do you take up the man's name and drop your maiden name? You think marriage is bf/gf thing?

As for marrying the family, this is a FACT! So as much as you are looking at the man, ladies should also look at the family before going ahead with marriage.

romenna:
I hate family interference and i dnt interfer in my siblings affairs.
Once married, cut pipo some slack pls

Efewestern:


The issue isn't the sister visiting her brother, but trying to influence the home of the man because they are his blood, once you are married, your wife and kids become your top priority.

It will surprise you to know that the same sisters trying to influence their brother's home would never allow their sister in-laws dictate how they run their home, but here they are trying to run another woman's home.

I'm not even judging base on the story the OP wrote, it's a one sided story, but the point still remains, as a man getting married, you should take 100% control of your home and not let anyone be it father, mother, sister etc control your home.

I know some wives are bad, so are some SIL.

midnighter:



When I see how some of you people reason I am forced to assume that some of these monickers are being operated by masquerade spirits and not humans.

TonyeBarcanista:

What exactly is your point? How many family decide number of children and school children to attend for their brothers? The problem is that YOU WOMEN have problem when a man consult with his siblings (that he has always discussed issues with) on suggestion of best schools for his kids even when they have better knowledge. You prefer asking your friends instead!


There is NOTHING like family interference. It is you and your kind that always want a man divorced from his family.

And spare me the sermon of you and your in-laws. I already have idea on the kind of in-law that you are.