Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

  I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 
    I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

    From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

  My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

   For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

    Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

   Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.
   My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
  Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

RisenPhoenix:


Lol. You caught her hidden meanings neatly.

Anifaza:

TonyeBarcanista:

Women are their own problem.

Mothers against daughters
Mother in-laws against Daughter in-laws
Wife against Sister in-laws

They are always in competition for man's attention and in conflict with each other. They must learn to live in harmony!

dawnomike:
I understand what you're going through dear. But please, If begging will save your marriage- please beg.
You are not a foolish wife, you're just been wise!
At the long run, you, your children and husband is all that matters. Others are extended family members.

NB:Your husband ought to protect you but sonce he in not doing that kindly play the fool for the sake of your children and to keep the love of the man you care so much about.

#Myopinion

TonyeBarcanista:

Thank God you married a GREAT GUY
 
 
This is a generic term used by women when their bid to separate in-laws from their husbands failed them.


The older sisters are your own older sisters too. You have to be in their good book at all times as long as it isn't against your legitimate interest. As long as they are not telling you to do overboard


There is no manipulation whatsoever. It is you trying to separate your husband from his sisters. As a wife, you have to accept your in-laws as yours and live in peace with them as long as they aren't perpetuating evil against your interest. Your husband has lived with them for MANY years before he met you. He knows them better than you do. You have to find way to sort it with them than try to make him see reason to separate from them.

   What transpired among you in the 10 years? What is the recurring issue?

   
This is irrelevant to the subject

  
I'd do same if I was your hubby! There is no way you can claim to love hubby without showing same love and respect to his BLOOD!

  
Your mind has always been made up and you are done pretending! His elder siblings are all he has and you must take them.likewise


Go and make peace with your in-laws and stop creating this arrogance.

Do know that you will never enjoy hubby as long as you are warring with his blood!

If you like take the advice of all these frustrated, angry, bitter and aggressive feminists, and male she-men, NA YOU SABI

Anifaza:
Thanks for your input. I truly appreciate. It all started in my ist year of marriage when I had my baby and still in school. My mum came to look after baby and few months later, I took in again of which I left baby with mum while I continued schooling.
They accused my hubby of allowing my mother to be the only one taking care of baby and not them. That in their tradition, mothers of wife have no say and influence in family affairs. This was a major issue and still is. While in my culture, nothing of such as we see nothing wrong here. They disrespect my mother till date because of this. I have caught one twice giving my mother bad eye.
2ndly, a distant relative came with high risk pregnancy with fibroid and I asked she comes to seek medical help and go back, when she came, it was war in my house that it is forbidden in their culture for a pregnant woman to come to another man's house which she's not pregnant for. She later left but loads of issues after this.
My in-laws come anytime even with their children .Every other week and weekend is in my house.
My husband will not take us out unless they are around.
Hubby's lil sis but older than me lived with me for 5 years and that's where the whole wahala persisted with her giving information. I began to see their collaboration through her and frustrated me to the very letter.
We had a fight and hubby asked her to leave. They all ganged up not to talk to me or hubby again which hubby is feeling alienated.
Hubby said his position is threatened in his family and I am the cause. I took care of his older sister who had complication in her surgery for 6 months in my house, non of them came to visit her in my house nor call me. Rather , She got well and told others that I didn't give her food that was why when one called her and she said she was in a restaurant to eat. Hubby and I had issue on this.
I am so fed up . I work and I contribute significantly in the family.
They see me as the one who eats their brother's money alone.
Hubby takes great financial care of them. I am just tired.

ImaIma1:
Your husband is the problem. He cannot throw you to the dogs (his sisters). He needs to protect you from their fangs. If he cannot condition how they treat you with the way he himself treats you, there's really nothing you can do.

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

  I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 
    I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

    From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

  My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

   For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

    Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

   Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.
   My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
  Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

Vyolet:
They are coming back, interesting times ahead on family session, still expecting others.

MEGA4BILLION:
Y[s]our husband is still immature to be the man of the family. The problem isn't you but your husband, he is not incharge of his family. For a better advice, can you highlight some of these problems between you and your sisters-in-laws.[/s]

ImaIma1:


You won't understand this. You are the brother in this situation and nothing your sisters do will be seen as bad.

The Op's husband needs to balance the relationship from both sides. His sisters will treat his wife the way he treats her. When a wife comes into a family, some family members tend to see her as an I trader that has come to disrupt their family. It is the husband's job to integrate her into the family and protect her when necessary.

I am saying this from what I have seen. I have three SILs and my Older sister has 4 SILs but no issues. Everyone knows their boundaries. You cannot come into my house and assert authority and I won't go into yours to do same.

Family members are not meant to interfere or have a say in their son's/daughter's marriage.

Anifaza:
Thanks for your input. I truly appreciate. It all started in my ist year of marriage when I had my baby and still in school. My mum came to look after baby and few months later, I took in again of which I left baby with mum while I continued schooling.
They accused my hubby of allowing my mother to be the only one taking care of baby and not them. That in their tradition, mothers of wife have no say and influence in family affairs. This was a major issue and still is. While in my culture, nothing of such as we see nothing wrong here. They disrespect my mother till date because of this. I have caught one twice giving my mother bad eye.
2ndly, a distant relative came with high risk pregnancy with fibroid and I asked she comes to seek medical help and go back, when she came, it was war in my house that it is forbidden in their culture for a pregnant woman to come to another man's house which she's not pregnant for. She later left but loads of issues after this.
My in-laws come anytime even with their children .Every other week and weekend is in my house.
My husband will not take us out unless they are around.
Hubby's lil sis but older than me lived with me for 5 years and that's where the whole wahala persisted with her giving information. I began to see their collaboration through her and frustrated me to the very letter.
We had a fight and hubby asked her to leave. They all ganged up not to talk to me or hubby again which hubby is feeling alienated.
Hubby said his position is threatened in his family and I am the cause. I took care of his older sister who had complication in her surgery for 6 months in my house, non of them came to visit her in my house nor call me. Rather , She got well and told others that I didn't give her food that was why when one called her and she said she was in a restaurant to eat. Hubby and I had issue on this.
I am so fed up . I work and I contribute significantly in the family.
They see me as the one who eats their brother's money alone.
Hubby takes great financial care of them. I am just tired.

crackhaus:

Is this what you call your own sisters-in-law? Dogs?
You people will call your SILs 'dog', call your MILs 'witch', call your female friends 'fake' - all of them, women just like you...and you still walk around thinking you lots don't have serious social problems with your own selves.

You should be very proud.
Nonsense.

jakandeola:
ur house or ur hubby house

sassysure:
The mistake she made was that she should have started early to ascertain her right and respect.

When u u want to please and belong, this is how it usually end.
Also the husband isn't that smart. He should be seen in public eyes as neutral. Don't entertain shit.
Council and admonish them separately.
By the way, why can't they leave them alone.
Very jealous people.

TonyeBarcanista:

Women are their own problem.

Mothers against daughters
Mother in-laws against Daughter in-laws
Wife against Sister in-laws

They are always in competition for man's attention and in conflict with each other. They must learn to live in harmony!

ImaIma1:


You won't understand this. You are the brother in this situation and nothing your sisters do will be seen as bad.

The Op's husband needs to balance the relationship from both sides. His sisters will treat his wife the way he treats her. When a wife comes into a family, some family members tend to see her as an intruder that has come to disrupt their family. It is the husband's job to integrate her into the family and protect her when necessary.

I am saying this from what I have seen. I have three SILs and my Older sister has 4 SILs but no issues. Everyone knows their boundaries. You cannot come into my house and assert authority and I won't go into yours to do same

Family members are not meant to interfere or have a say in their son's/daughter's marriage.

ImaIma1:

[s]I see you don't know anything about idiomatic expressions.

Google the phrase "throw someone to the dogs" and tell me if it has anything to do with someone being a dog[/s]

TonyeBarcanista:

Women are their own problem.

Mothers against daughters
Mother in-laws against Daughter in-laws
Wife against Sister in-laws

They are always in competition for man's attention and in conflict with each other. They must learn to live in harmony!

ImaIma1:


I see you don't know anything about idiomatic expressions.

Google the phrase "throw someone to the dogs" and tell me if it has anything to do with someone being a dog

TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]

crackhaus:

You must as a matter of fact, be quiet.

Any educated person reading that knows it is a figurative expression for worthlessness. So are your own SILs worthless?

Instead of you to take it back, you are doing damage control by trying to teach your ancestors English language.
You must be very silly.

TonyeBarcanista:

I think it is you that doesn't understand the meaning of that expression.

Your assertion means the husband abandons his wife to his wicked and evil sisters.

Some of you ladies are really a menace in families.

See, IF you cannot cope in marriage don't marry or marry someone that can put up with your ideology.

I'm not surprised though, I have seen some of you girls pray for death of MILs and would-be MILs.

ImaIma1:

[s]You are obviously a child seeking attention. I don't have time for your tantrums.[/s]

crackhaus:

Maybe it will happen on Mars in the year of our lord 3000AD

ImaIma1:


Throw someone to the dogs means "to abandon someone to criticism and attack"

I think it is you men that are over analysing the statement as typical African men that see disrespect in idioms.