Thanks for the update

seriously the episodes are thrilling... started reading yesterday..
The lord is ur muscle

Annstar:
seriously the episodes are thrilling... started reading yesterday..

The lord is ur muscle

Thanks....

izaray:
Thanks for the update

You're welcome....

Fresh episode loading............

Sorry for the late update, my post was flagged by the spam bot.

19
* Yeye Boyfriend*

Uyo, Akwaibom State.
1 month later

There are some decisions in life that seems worst, but its the best in disguise.


Miss Vera gasped in shock as she saw Smart in a bar sitted alone. She couldn't stand the suprise as she raced towards him but Smart stretched forward and halted her. Vera halted on her tracks and scrutinized Smart for a while.
"You returned and you couldn't tell me" Vera deadpanned.
Silence!!!
"Smart, is this how you wish to treat me?".
Silence!!!
"I sacrificed everything to make sure that you survived the problem you created for yourself...."
"Just leave" Smart nodded towards the door.
"Smart, why are you treating me like a piece of rag, I'm your heart throb for pete sake!" Vera sobbed.
Smart stared at her with bloodshot eyes.
"Vera Paul, give me ten yards please!" Smart growled.
"I hate you" Vera raced out of the bar.
Smart sighed in anger and emptied the bottle of scotch down his throat. He had been drinking since he returned to campus, the death of his partner Philip had its toll on him as he carried his pictures everyway and even masturbated with it every morning. He found solace in drinking as for Vera, he knew a few words will soften her resolve, 'she isn't a difficult nut to crack'.

Vera arrived her lodge in tears and slumped on the bed.
"Are you okay?" Lydia asked as she examined her.
"I'm fine!" Vera snapped for a reply. She lay on the bed and emptied her tears on the pillow. She stayed awake the past days, praying for Smart's survival, she borrowed a huge sum of money from Harry just for Smart's survival, she nursed a huge secret just for their relationship to survive. But what was her gain, she got treated like a piece of rag. It doesn't worth it.
"Vera talk to me!" Lydia sat close to her.
A knock was heard.
"Check on the door please" Vera said.
Lydia unlocked the door and popped her face and was suprised to see Smart.
"Is Vera in?" Smart asked with his hands in pocket.
Lydia sighed in contempt and opened the door wider.
Smart strolled in to the room and closed the door.
"It is bad manners for you to leave the door opened for a stranger to lock it" Smart said.
Lydia stared at him in contempt and left the room, slamming the door hard.
"Your friends hate me!" Smart said and sat on a stool.
"Because you're a monster with zero regard for humanity!" Vera snapped.
"I'm not that bad" he chuckled and made to touch Vera but she recoiled quickly. "Don't you dare touch me".
"Vera, what's really your problem?" Smart asked obviously irritated.
"Do you know what true love is?" Vera asked.
"Are you trying to say that i don't love you?".
"Its obvious, you treat me like shit" Vera sobbed.
"I'm sorry, just that the events of the past months has broken me" Smart said with a downcast gaze.
"Share it with me" Vera moved closer to him.
"I've killed countless souls just for survival!"
Vera gasped.
"I'm a monster and you know it, the cult i belonged were after my life so i had to kill to protect my self and in the process i lost a friend".
"But i deserved to know, i have kept worst secrets for our sake" Vera said disappointed.
"I'm sorry, i know I'm the worst being alive...."
"Shhhhh" Vera placed a finger on his lips. "You could change, don't see yourself as the worst".
"Your love is pure, even with my shits you still keep on loving me" Smart held her shoulders.
"I don't have a choice, you'll kill me if i decide to opt out". Vera said.
Smart moved closer and planted a deep kiss on her lips, he proceeded to UnCloth her but Vera stiffened.
"I'm not in the mood" Vera stood up from the bed.
"Let's take a walk" Vera unlocked the door and Smart followed suit.
She stiffened and stared with mouthagape when she sighted someone smiling and approaching her.
"Harry" she gasped.
"My baby, come and hug your husband na" he spread his arms wide.
"What are you doing here?" Vera asked in shock.
"I wanted to suprise you" Harry moved further but she halted him midway.
"Harry, you're enjoying this game huh?" Vera asked.
"Which game?" Harry asked in deep confusion.
"Its over between us" Vera said and made to move away but Harry held her hand.
"Babe, i no understand you?" Harry asked.
"Just let me be" Vera screamed.
"Vera" Harry dragged her closer to himself. "What did i do?".
"Let me go!" Vera tried to wriggle free.
"Is your menses paining you?" Harry screamed in anger. "Why are you giving me attitude?.
"Let her go!" Smart stepped in with clenched fist.
Harry stared at him for a while and remembered the face. The face he pummeled at the hospital.
"I am now a bishop, not a boxer and please excuse us" Harry stared fixedly at Smart.
Without warning, Smart delivered a straight punch to Harry. Harry staggered backwards and sniffed in blood.
"Vera has denied me thrice, where is the cock, let it crow" Harry groaned.
Smart followed it up with a blow to the stomach. Harry staggered backward.
"You really want a fight" Harry dared.
"Bro common" Smart chuckled.
"The fight is for the lord, let Israel...."
Smart sent a punch to Harry's lips.
"You come against me with fist but i come in the name that is mightier..."
Punches, Kicks.
Harry fell to the ground.
Vera made no attempts to seperate the fighters, the girls in the neighbourhood screamed when they saw Harry's swollen face. Lydia had to step in when she noticed the tables were turned against Harry. At first she wanted Harry to give Smart the beatings of his life, but what she saw shocked her. Harry didn't throw a single punch. She rushed and threw herself on Harry's body.
Smart snarled in anger when two guys dragged him from the scene.
Harry was helped into the room by Lydia and her room mates.
First aid was applied to his wounds.
"Why didn't you fight Smart?" Praise asked.
"I have no reason to fight him" Harry replied and rubbed his swollen lips.
"There is no point fighting a lost battle".
"What happened between you and Vera?" Praise asked.
"I no sabi" Harry replied.
"Just tell Vera that she is a collomentallus azaigod" Harry groaned in pains as he stood.
"What does it mean?" Lydia asked.
"Do i know?" Harry replied and made for the door.
"Are you strong enough?" The ladies asked concerned about Harry's plight.
Harry chuckled, unlocked the door and left the lodge.


Okon- Eket.

"You sabi wey Harry go cuz i never see am since morning" James said.
"He no deh gree pick his calls" Peter said.
James eyes popped open when he spotted Mirriam closing the pedestrian gate. He instinctively jumped up and sat again.
Mirriam approached him with a straight face and an envelope in hand.
James hugged her and noticed her body felt stiff.
"Baby any wahala?" He asked.
Mirriam gave him the envelope.
"Na money deh inside?" He opened the envelope and read through the content but couldn't grasp the meaning.
"Wetin be this, na love letter?" He asked.
"I thought you said that you are a graduate?" Mirriam stared at him.
"No be this kind graduate!" James said and sat back on the bench.
"I'm pregnant!"
"Chei!" James and Peter jerked in unison.
"You are preg what?" James asked.
"I said I'm pregnant" Mirriam stressed the words again.
"Who put you belle?" James asked.
"It is your father that impregnanted me!" Mirriam slammed.
"But my father don die na" James replied foolishly.
"Stop this joke" Mirriam screamed.
"But i deh doubt because that day wey i been Bleep you, i been deh on my menstration" James said.
"This guy thinks I'm joking, do guys menstrate?" Lydia screamed.
"I normally menstrate and my own is like okro soup".
"God punish you, yeye boyfriend!" Mirriam almost slapped him.
"You ko abort am?" James asked.
"When your mum got pregnant, did she abort it?" Mirriam fired.
"Was i the, am i the one that Bleep her?" James replied.
"If i was your daughter, will you advise me to abort?".
"You are not my daughter na" James said.
"So i am what?"
"My woman friend!" James replied.
"You're very stupid!" Mirriam pointed a finger and shoved his head.
"But i cannot remember the last time i....."
"The last time you did what?" Mirriam asked.
"Are you sure....."
"Will you stop this nonsense“. She turned to Peter. "Better warn this your friend!"
"Why will i warn him. am i him? is he me ? is me him ? are we him ?" Peter fired.
"Oya clap for yaself, you do well, english speaker!" James said.
Mirriam was close to the verge of tears.
"James stop this na, my mum will kill me" Mirriam went on her knees. "If you don't do something quick, you'll die" Mirriam dropped a bomb shell.
"Who will die?" James jerked off his seat.
"I come from a very powerful village in Ebonyi, any man who impregnant a girl from my tribe without the marriage rites will die!"
"Nooo! It can't be, you are lying" James screamed in disbelief.
"You can ask anybody about abayino tribe!" Mirriam sobbed.
"Aba wetin?" James asked.
"Abayino tribe!"
"Why the name come sound like ice cream" James said. "Ok how much for transport?".
"From Eket here is seven thousand naira".
"Jesus! I don enter one chance, you say how many?" James squeezed his face.
"Seven tho....."
"Is it visa that i want to process?" James screamed. "Why the transport cost, Ebonyi no deh Nigeria?".
"We need to do something quick, the church shouldn't notice that I'm pregnant until we wed" Mirriam sobbed.
"I will be your flower girl!" Peter added excited.
"Sharrap dia! See ya mouth like a cricket!" James slammed at Peter.
"Let me gather some money, i ko land una town with presidential escort" James bragged.
"I hope it will be this month, we need to be quick" Mirriam grabbed her bag.
"The baby you are carrying is it boy or girl?" James asked.
"I don't know!"
"You are not a mother, you are carrying a baby and you don't know!" James slammed.
"Is only one month na"
"What is the essence of the school which you went, they no been teach you how to know who a baby is?
How many times do you shit a day!" James asked.
"Huh?"
"If you shit two times a day, you are carrying a girl, but if you shit once a day that means you are carrying a boy!" James analysed.
"Who made you a doctor?" Lydia asked.
"All my family members are witch doctors except me!"
"That means you are giving me a witch perscription".
"You are the witch not me" James fired.
"Yeye boyfriend!"


To be continued.........

This update thing has started again.. what's really happening.. the mod in charge should find a solution to it or is it the anti spam bot?


Cc: lalasticalala
Mynd44

YINKS89:
This update thing has started again.. what's really happening.. the mod in charge should find a solution to it or is it the anti spam bot?


Cc: lalasticalala
Mynd44

The thing deh pain me.

Notice!!!
The episode that was flagged by the anti spam bothhas been reposted.

Nawa o.. whats vera's problem nau.. still watching sha..

Khriztarl:
Nawa o..
whats vera's problem nau..
still watching sha..

Thanks for your interest

Harry oh poor Harry, this one pain me sha, but it looks like his mumu has finally do.I think Vera is my least favourite character right now.
Please spam bot should respect itself oo, wehdon author sweet more grease to your imagination and elbow

19b
Ebonyi State.


Life has so many episodes on script, it all depends on your choice on what to view. Harry leaned his head on the backrest of the minibus. After his return from Uyo the previous day, he couldn't think straight, his friends on the other hand sympathised with him and on the same vein, laughed him to scorn. He had to realise that all that glitters isn't gold and there are some gold that doesn't glitters. His friends had sworn for a revenge, but he had calmed them down. Vera doesn't worth it, he thought of the sacrifice, though they hadn't spent much time together in their relationship but he thought it was for the best. He hustled harder to make sure he built the future he envisioned. He sacrificed every element in his life to ensure Vera graduated, he had nursed plans for the marriage rites. He had, he had, damn!!! Tears cascaded down his cheeks. Vera had used him, maybe he'll be careful with highly sophisticated girls someother time. He thought he had made an impact in her life, but he was wrong. Vera broke up with him just like that, the breakup was his nightmares. He rubbed his swollen lips and chuckled at the thought of doing something terrible to Smart and Vera, but a voice kept whispering 'inner peace look on the bright side, she atleast made an impact'.
'What impact' he mentally reasoned with clenched fist.
'She made you go back to education'
'Did she pay my school fees?'
'She made you take the decision, look on the brighter side education will open your eyes to see a brighter world, you'll see things in different perspective, there are things that are hidden to the eyes of a layman. Harry explore your world, and there will be a reverse decision, a counter reaction, her troubled soul will come to you for solace, inner peace'
Harry gasped, who just spoke to him. His eyes suddenly became blurr and he tried to maintain his sanity but his eyes forced itself close and he slipped into unconsciousness.



Harry ran on a path with a matchete, he was chasing someone.
"Smart is not what you think" Vera screamed in quick breath as she tried to keep pace with Harry.
As they reached a deserted area.Smart paused on tracks and pointed his pistol at Harry.
"You dey Bleep my wife, the lady i married?" Smart snarled.
"She came for help, you really don't know how to care for a woman. You treated her like a slave, look at her face" Harry approached Smart, he flung the matchete.
"Noooooo"
A siren was heard from afar, blood was spilled every where.
"How did he die?" The ambulance drove in a high speed.
"Harry you can't go now" Vera screamed her body was soiled in blood. She............"

"Why you deh sweat like christmas fowl" Okon tapped Harry repeatedly. Harry jerked off his seat.
"Wetin happen? Why you deh commot ya eyeballs like icefish. abi na ghost you see?" Okon jabbed.
Harry rubbed his forehead and sighed. "Una don find the house?" Harry asked.
"Yes, make we go".
Harry and crew arrived at Ebonyi and had been searching for Mirriam's family compound, they had parked their bus somewhere and after minutes of searching and asking the locals, they discovered the house. They all marched majestically towards the building.
"Good day Mama and Papa, brother and Sisters, Uncles and Aunties, nephew and nieces, friends and enemies" Harry greeted.
"That one na greeting?" James whispered to him.
"My inlaws una welcomeoooo" an older version of Mirriam responded and led them to the introduction grounds. They met a man sitted and tapping his legs impatiently.
"Our inlaws are here oooo" Mirriam's mother said and led them to a seat.
James on recognizing the man as Mirriam's father, prostrated to greet but the man paid him no heed.
"That man resemble witch, he fit kill us ooo" Harry reasoned.

"Oga i deh greet ooo" James said.
Silence!!!
"My fada! I deh bow ooo"
Silence!!!
"Fada you must to answer my greetings"
Silence!!!
"Boss i deh hail ooo"
"May Ekwensu strike you and ya hundred generation with leprousy, may you be as red as a cockroach" the man pointed his staff at James. "I was expected my only dear girl that i haff to marry a rich man, but she went and brought cowards, she brought anglican pawpaw. Look at ya native that you wear, a very, very, very old native, i remember in the 70s i always using this wrapper to cover my poultry house!"
"Blood of Jesus" The men gasped.
"I was expectation to see jeep parking in my premises, but they brought bus, that bus that looking like a wheelbarrow, you want to marriage my daughter? Do you have the perequisite?"
James folded his hands in suprise.
"This man don smoke igboh" Okon whispered.
"Igboh na me smoke pass you, iffa curse your generation they will be dying every first tuesday of the month!"
"Holyghost!" Okon jerked.
"Daddy, we are sorry" James knelt.
"Nnayi, take am easy na with our inlaws" the wife pleaded.
"Which inlaws, these ones that look like exconvict".
James jumped.
"They looked like condemned criminals!" The old man fumed.
James, jejely straightened his corporate suit and returned to his seat.
They sat in silence for about fourty minutes before the family members arrived and after the whispering and running round to get things settled, the ceremony kicked started.
"You wan marry our daughter?" The head of the family asked.
James stood up, dusted the shoulder pad of his jacket and nodded.
"How many house, you don build?"
James thought for a while.
"I never build house yet, but i get land" James lied.
Mirriams father jerked off his seat. "You see, agents of poverty has reach my yard today. You don't have house and you want to marry my daughter, my ancestors will judge you. Look at your suit, this suit is what primary school teachers in the 70s always wear. See how you looked like a turkey inside suit" Mirriam father slammed at James.
James was at the verge of tears.
"Make we continue" the family head cleared his throat.
"How many motor you get?"
"Three".
"Na lie!" Mirriam's dad gasped. "You no resemble person wey get motor, your legs resemble leg wey don trek for a longer time since civil war" the man slammed.
James scratched his head in confusion.
"Where you come from?"
"Okon in Akwaibom State".
"Where that side the?"
"North central"
"Before we read the main list, you ko drop ten thousand naira".
James pulled out his wallet and countered the crisp notes inside.
"This boy na yahoo boy! Wey you get that kind money from?" Mirriam's dad screamed.
"If you no take time, i ko slap you" James muttered inaudibly. He dropped the money on the table.
"Abeg make una clap for him, to be a inlaw is not a day job" the family smiled revealing his kolanut stained dentition.
"You don Bleep our daughter before?"
James gasped and turned to stare at his friends momentarily before returning his gaze to the family head.
"If you lie, ghost ko knock you and you ko commot this your cloth, run enter market square".
"I d....on..fu..ck am" James stuttered.
"Drop ten thousand!"
"Jesus!"
"No do make i call ghost for you oooo if i just commot my clothes lie down naked, your family ko deh run mad every first june!" The family head threatened.
James pulled out his wallet, counted the money and dropped it on the table.
"This one don weak me!" James muttered.
"You don put am belle?"
"Huh"
"You deaf? I ask whether you don put our daughter belle?" The family head said. "If you lie, you ko blind". The family head opened a bottle of schnapps hot and poured some content on the ground."Okuku! Ekpete!! If this boy lie now, make shit to deh commot from his body every two seconds, make his urine be like hot water".
James breathed, truly his case was the proverbial one chance case.
"I don put am belle!"
"Ewooooooooooooooh" the whole crowd screamed.
Mirriam's father jumped from his seat and grabbed a matchete but he was held back by some youth.
Harry's crew stood in alarm, fist folded and ready to engage anyone in a combat.
"You never build house, but you don put woman belle?" The family head stared at him critically. "Drop twenty thousand".
James shivered in horror.
"I fit order boys to stone you" Mirriam's father charged. At the tail end of the crowd, Mirriam sat in tears. James counted the money and kept it on the table.
The family head whispered to the secretary of the family. A brown envelope was retrieved.
The secretary cleared his throat.
"What i want to reading at the stipulation moment is the list of marriage for this honourability family.
For the village:
Ten goats, six bottles of hot, fourteen tubers of yam, one basketfull of pepper, thirteen suckers of pineapple, ten bunches of plaintain, two cows, four bags of local rice, onehundred and fifty thousand naira.
For the women:
Thirteen litres of palmoil, twentysix bale of imported holland wrappers, sixty crates of malt, seven cocks, twelve packets of biscuits. Ninety thousand naira cash.
For the youth:
Sixteen packets of cigarette, four bottles of brandy, four bottles of red wine ,four rubbers of palmwine, two giant coolers of prepared dog meat, six FIFA football, thirteen jerseys, sixty thousand naira cash.
For the aged men:
Sixteen pieces of fresh cat fish, fourteen gallons of palmwine, seventeen wraps of kola, thirteen wraps of garden egg, fourteen sticks of dried meat,one hundred and fifty thousand naira.
For the family:
One Gwagon for the family head, one pencil camry for the family secretary, one packet of pen for the secretary, ten dozens of exercise books for the secretary......."
"Wetin you wan write with one packet of pen and ten dozens of books, you wan defend project?" James cried.
"One bottle of whisky, ten crates of beer, twenty packets of benson cigarette...."
"Una deh go smoking competition, wetin you wan carry twenty packets of cigar do?" James cried.
"If you talk again, fire will destroy you" the family head screamed.
"Four coolers of pounded yam, one cooler of oha soup, onehundred thousand naira cash.
Mother of the bride:
four assorted hollandies, six imported jewellries, six pair of shoes, four pair of pant...."
"I no be her boyfriend na, how i ko take sabi the size of her pant?" James screamed.
"Pencil camry 2018 model, one hundred thousand cash.
For the father: six imported george wrappers, chieftaincy regalia, gold staff, lexus jeep 2018 model, six bottles of scotch, four hundred thousand naira cash.
For the brothers:
Four bags of rice, thirtysix tubers of yam, fourteen jars of palmoil, six sticks of dried fish, two hundred thousand naira cash.
After the procurement of the complete items, a one storey building should be built before the end of the year. If the child is born and all these are not completely done, the gods of Okewe will have you for lunch".
James fell to the ground.
"One thing i ask of the lord, let me not meet an Ebonyi girl in my life again" James cried.
"You don commit another offence which is lying down on the ground, drop ten thousand before the gods knock you". The family head screamed.
"Eli, eli lamasabathani" James screamed.
After every single kobo had been extorted from James, the ceremony ended.
James couldn't seat on the chair, he was on the ground crawling, looking like a tortoise on corporate suit.
"James standa, make we commot" Udoh tried dragging him up.
James kept sobbing and writhing on the ground.
"How person ko wear suit come deh throway body for ground like mad man" Harry said.
"Na madman on suit" Okon said.
"Is there any river?" James asked.
"You wan baff?" Peter asked.
"I wan to kill my sef!" James rolled again on the ground. His blue suit had already transformed to a dirty one, his tie was at the back.
"We ko leave you here oooo" Harry threatened.
"James my love“
They all turned and saw Mirriam in tears.
She came closer and held James by the hand.
"We'll overcome" she kissed James.
"Una family wicked!" James gasped. "If i......"
"Shhhhh" Mirriam held him up.
"Love conquers all" Mirriam smiled and rubbed her stomach.
"Where i ko get that kind money?" James lamented.
"We ko robb bank" Peter said.
"You deh mad“ James cursed him.

Mirriam's father emerged with a dane gun.
"If you no commot for my yard, i ko pieces una".
Harry and crew raced out of the man's yard cuz the fear of death is the beginning of wisdom.

To be continued............

, iyaff die of laughter oo, but author sha Igbo man no fit request dog meat, instead na big fat cow, worse come to worse goat meat would suffice.
wetin James no go see for Mirriam's father's compound

Oly23:
, iyaff die of laughter oo, but author sha Igbo man no fit request dog meat, instead na big fat cow, worse come to worse goat meat would suffice.
wetin James no go see for Mirriam's father's compound

but I hear say part of Ebonyi the chop dog.

Nothing I no ko see for desire James ntorr Na wan bleep Op abeg continua

Oly23:
, iyaff die of laughter oo, but author sha Igbo man no fit request dog meat, instead na big fat cow, worse come to worse goat meat would suffice.
wetin James no go see for Mirriam's father's compound

Some part of Ebonyi eats dogs. But sha, na fiction..

I think I can bench well following this thriller. Too imaginative to be imagined!
Glow up man!

Noblejohn32:

Some part of Ebonyi eats dogs. But sha, na fiction..

Really never heard or knew, sha as you talk na fiction.

Telemon:
but I hear say part of Ebonyi the chop dog.

I never hear am before, but we get informed every day sha

Glossystar:
I think I can bench well following this thriller.
Too imaginative to be imagined!

Glow up man!

Thanks Boss.

Miratopaz:
Nothing I no ko see for desire James ntorr Na wan bleep
Op abeg continua

Thanks for your interest.
Stillvi continue....

Oly23:
I never hear am before, but we get informed every day sha

That's right

New episode loading.......

Noblejohn32:
New episode loading.......

we dey anticipate!!

Noblejohn32:

Thanks Boss.

Really, I felt somewhat queasy but this thriller healed...

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Then chat up with your name or nickname.

Chapter 20
Prognosis
Uyo, Akwaibom State

The story so far...........

Lydia and Inspector Timi carried on their relationship on Lydia's terms though Timi had some reservation but he had to carry on because he believed that everything will naturally fall in place. He kind of felt a valetudinarian thought concerning her. He couldn't really position his line of thought concerning the relationship, all he felt was a bulge in his trousers anytime the image of Lydia crossed his mind.
"I'm not sure this is love!" He punched the air with a mug of nescafe.
"Do i even know the meaning of love?" He thought further. "I use to think that one's heart beat while in love, but why is my own case different, my prick only beats instead of my heart".
His acephalous thought made him spill his tea on his shirt.
Damn!
He tried to make a prognosis, a forecast, a kind of mental comparison between Lydia and the new lady he just met in the early hours of today.

Flash (8:00am)

Timi chuckled slightly as a tall busty lady moved into the sitting room.
A case of rape had been brought to his office by a devastated rich family and he had promised to look into the case with utmost alacrity and seriousness and bring the pepetrator to justice. He never handled female cases because of his condition of getting aroused anytime he had a brief conversation with a lady no matter the emotion at that particular time. But after his session with Lydia's friends, any case related to female had always interest him.
"Good day sir" the girl jolted him from his thought.
He showed his dentition in response.
"I thought you won't make it today,but my mum assured me you'll come" the lady said.
"I'm a competent officer of the law, i keep to time" Timi voiced.
"That's good, so what can i offer you?".
"Nothing" he tilted forward, "let's move over to the business of the day. So what's that your name again?"
"Bernice"
"Huh?"
"Bernice"
"Penis"
"Stop it! I said Beeerrrnnnice" the lady rolled her eyes.
"Why your name deh sound like man private part?" Timi said.
"I'll pretend like i didn't hear that" Bernice said in anger.
"I'm sorry, i just need to clear the air" Timi chuckled.
"Apologies accepted".
"Ok! please to aid the officers of the law carry out their job successfully all your answers must be clear no facial gestures copy?"
"Yes" the lady breathed.
"What offence did you commit that warranted such name from your parent?" Timi asked.
"What name?"
"Your name!" Timi pointed.
"And how does it concerns what we are here for?" She asked with a lethiferous look.
"Remember, this is a rape case!" Timi said.
"And how does it concerns my name!" She halfscreamed.
"Your name is Bernice, or should i say penis.so i need to investigate the reasons behind the name" Timi said.
Bernice rose up in pure indignation.
"Calm down sister, i know my job!" Timi rose too, standing cautiously as if expecting a blow."remember it is a crime to beat an officer of the law" Timi breathed.
Bernice chuckled and sat still.
"You didn't answer my question?" Timi said.
Silence!!!
Timi breathed.
"Ok, tell me what happened that fateful day" He retrieved his notepad.
Bernice breathed.
"That day was sunday, Dickson had always been a close friend h.........."
"Who is Dickson?" He cut her midway.
"The guy that raped me" Bernice said amidst sob.
Timi began laughing so hard to the utmost shock of Bernice.
"Do you think this is funny?" Bernice gritted her teeth, irritation brewing through her.
"No, I'm sorry! I saw my ancestors i was just laughing and waving at them" Timi chuckled and began another bout of laughter.
Bernice breathed.
"I'm sorry, please continue" Timi urged.
"What do you take me for?" She screamed in disgust.
"A Bernice that was raped by a Dickson, as in if you remove the son from the dick, it w................" he began to laugh again.
Bernice clenched her fist in anger.
"Sorry! the laughter is part of the investigation" Timi sniffed and rubbed his ribcage. "Do you have a bottle water?".
"You're crazy, after laughing like a hyena you are now asking for water. Thirst will kill you here" She spat.
Timi sniffed and remained silent for a while, his facial features immediately transformed into an angry looking man.
"Ok! continue" he said.
"Like i said, Dickson had always been a family friend so he do visit us everytime but that day, i don't know if he was drunk. Non of my family members were around so he visited that day and his attitudes were scary, normally we do flirt but that day he was touching me at the wrong places......"
"So which part of your body is the wrong places?" Timi asked with a straight face.
"Huh?"
"I want to know the exact place you called wrong place because i never remembered God creating a part of the body and calling it a wrong place" he straightened the collar of his shirt.
"God!" She threw her arms in the air. "I mean private part".
"So he touched your private part?" He asked as he jotted something into his notepad.
"Yes!"
"List all the private part in your body" He said.
Bernice gasped.
"Or you specify the one he touched!"
She stared at him, but he kept a straight face.
She sighed.
"He touched my......"
"Your what?"
"My v......"
"V wetin? is V a private part?"
"He touched my vagina"
"Holyghost!" Timi jumped up and sat still.
"You are a disappointment to the Police" she sighed.
Timi chuckled, "you don't know what you just said. I'm a material that the police can boast of I've handled hardcore cases, infact i deserve a grammy" he boasted.
"What did you say was the name of the thing Mr.Dick touched?" He asked.
"I said it".
"Maybe i did not hear well" he held his ear.
"What's wrong with your ear?" She asked in anger.
"It was punctured in the first civil war, since then I've been looking for a vulcanizer to......."
"That's to show the level of aphonia in your encephalon " she nodded.
"English will not help you today, we die here!" Timi chuckled. "So you said he touched your vaginus......."
"Vagina not vaginus" she threw her hands up.
"It's still the same thing" He nodded.
"Not the one i have!"
"Is your own different from other ones?" He asked with a smirk.
Silence!!!
"Vaginus is the past tense of Vagina, since the rape is past, you use vaginus. He touched my vagina is wrong, he touched my vaginus is correct".
She clapped for him.
"I thought my teachers english when i was in school" he said feeling himself.
"You're too thrasonical and your contumelious mendacity is deleterious" She said and shrugged in disgust.
Timi thought for a while.
"Take note of those big grammars you used, you'll explain it to your creator when the time comes" he pointed his index fingers.
"So when he touched you, what did you do?" He asked.
"I kind of reprimanded him".
"In what way?"
"I warned him to stop but he refused".
"That reminds me, what kind of clothes did you wear, because you ladies love walking naked in the name of lingerie" he breathed. "Did you wear a lingerie?".
"Why the question?" She asked, pissed.
"You are answering a police question with your question, this is what made our forefathers in the force to be shooting women in the mouth" he charged.
"I wore a gown".
"Can i see the gown?" He asked.
"It is in my room" she picked up the intercom in the parlour and called a maid to bring the gown.
The gown was brought and given to Timi, he examined the gown and jotted something in his jotter.
"I need a tape" he said.
A tape was brought.
"I need a chalk" he said.
A chalk was brought.
He placed the measuring tape on the gown and measured it.
"What is the size of your breast?" He asked.
"Holy mary" Bernice gasped.
"Is the size of your breast holymary?" He slammed. "I'm trying to make some useful deductions here and you are screaming names of deities".
"I don't know the size of my breast" she replied.
"I need to measure it" he said.
"For what?" She flared.
"I am a graduate of criminology, so i know what I'm doing!" Timi said.
Timi placed the tapes on her breast region and pressed hard on the nipples.
"What do you think you're doing?" She asked.
"I'm trying to measure the degree of the temperature that will warrant Dick or is it Dickson to rape you". He suddenly remembered something.
"When he raped you, did you cum?".
"Huh?"
"Ok, Put on the gown let me see" He said and returned to his seat.
Bernice left the sitting room and returned shortly with the gown on her.
"Federal highway!" Timi folded himself and shivered, he stared agape.
"Why won't he rape you?" He tried to stop the words but couldn't .
Bernice stared at him for a while and nodded in pity.
"Don't pity me, save the pity for ya family and friends and even well wishers. From my prognosis I've been able to decode that you seduced Dick and in the spirit of seduction, he touched your vaginus, and he was filled with the unholy spirit then he began to prophesy so i see no reason why i should arrest him just pray to God that in your next generation, he should give you the body of a stockfish, incase you walk naked no man will look at you not to talk of raping you.
I rest my case" he breathed.
Bernice almost shed tears.
"I'm sorry" Timi breathed and moved close to her. She jumped into his waiting arms and cried like a baby.
He rocked her and said sweet words to her until she slept off. He sighed in suprise, he didn't feel his erection.
No, this couldn't be happening. He confirmed it again and sighed as he stared at the beautiful lady he rocked to sleep.



Timi muttered in satisfaction, could it be love?
Bernice, the only girl that kind of refused his psycological builup. He felt peace, perfect peace devoid of any fleshy thought. He kept the empty mug of tea on the rail in his balcony.
"So what happens to Lydia, two ladies can't wheel this cart" he thought.
"I'm sure! I'm sure!! I'm sure!!!" He punched the wall repeatedly. "This is love i know it" he screamed in vigour.
His ringingtone jolted him off his reverie.
He smiled unconciously when he noticed the caller.
'My assiduity!' He had stored her name. The lady was his dilligence, since he left her, he saw the world in a new path.
He answered the call.
Timi: my assiduity
Bernice: my catankererous being.
Timi: what does it mean? (Smiles)
Bernice: you taught your teachers english huh?
Timi: Na.
Bernice: you should have the copy of an oxford dictionary with you.
Timi: my stepdad has a bookshop.
Bernice: you tend to be extortionate.
Timi: huh?
Bernice: kind of oppresive.
Timi: i don't think i am.
Bernice: you umbraged me with your investigative approach, that was salacious.
Timi breathed.
Bernice: your life is a conundrum, and maybe your authencity is a charlatan, and you seem to be a very obstreperous person.
Timi sighed, he really needed a dictionary.
Timi: let me get a dictionary, the one i have at home is an old edition. I'll call you later.
Bernice: No problem....sweet dreams.
Timi: i love you.
Bernice: you really have a bad prospicience.
Timi: i don't get you.
Bernice: your foresight is bad, you dont know what is love, you are only trying to be tentative.
Timi: i love you and that what matters, i can......
The line went dead.
Timi: hello, hello
Damn!!!


To be continued...............................
Sorry for the late update, most times, i do pick up a pen and....i get blank upstairs. When there inspiration isn't there, i can't kill my self..................
I LOVE YOU ALL

Nah, this one didn't cut it for me, it didn't have it's usual vibes!! Author sweet if your juices are drying out maybe take a break though I am sure a lot of persons won't appreciate it, me included. Also rape is a rather sensitive issue to joke with, inspector Timi saying he won't prosecute Dickson because of what the girl was wearing at the time is just low.

Oly23:
Nah, this one didn't cut it for me, it didn't have it's usual vibes!! Author sweet if your juices are drying out maybe take a break though I am sure a lot of persons won't appreciate it, me included. Also rape is a rather sensitive issue to joke with, inspector Timi saying he won't prosecute Dickson because of what the girl was wearing at the time is just low.

Oly baby i perfectly understand you.
But to grasp the beauty of any work of arts, you need to look beyond the writer and see the characters.
Timi is kind of an over jovial individual, who tends to reason from his d**k. Psycologically, he reasons like a lunatic, you saw the way he handled Vera's case. In reality, there are people who are mentally lunatic (no pun intended). but Bernice will be his nemesis.
Nine days for the thief, one day is gonna certainly be a doom.

About the vibes stuff, man pikin deh try his best, in life we cant certainly satisfy everyone.

Muuuahhh.(collect kiss)

Noblejohn32:

Oly baby i perfectly understand you.
But to grasp the beauty of any work of arts, you need to look beyond the writer and see the characters.
Timi is kind of an over jovial individual, who tends to reason from his d**k. Psycologically, he reasons like a lunatic, you saw the way he handled Vera's case. In reality, there are people who are mentally lunatic (no pun intended). but Bernice will be his nemesis.
Nine days for the thief, one day is gonna certainly be a doom.

About the vibes stuff, man pikin deh try his best, in life we cant certainly satisfy everyone.

Muuuahhh.(collect kiss)

Ok oo, it's going to be fun reading how his mumulity like James will get him into hot draw soup ,
About the vibes something, We readers or at least I know say e no easy to juggle real life and still come online and drop free entertainment and I appreciate you for that, and that's why I also suggested you take a break, man pikin can't come and go and kill himself, because if the story takes a nosedive from what it used to be you yourself no go like wetin you dey write, people no go like am too and it would be a lose-lose situation.