goodnewscliff:
Think u need to do that more obviously

Nah, you are the one who needs to, I speak based on facts, I didn't say 'all' , most if you are being truthful to yourself.

If it's possible, I could have given you 1000000 likes.
You too sabi


You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance![/quote]

faithfull18:

Nah, you are the one who needs to, I speak based on facts, I didn't say 'all' , most if you are being truthful to yourself.

Average aint fair and factful enough!!!!

Promomarlie:


White man will never spend 200k on a white wedding after spending 200k on traditional, they wedd with rented gown take all the expenses to the minimum level, stop deceiving yourself, no one told you Genevieve is happy been alone you just assume things. She's jump from one dick to another more than a frog jumps In a year.

For me? I don't have issues with white wedding.
Traditional and court Is OK by me. People looking at spending millions or lots of thousands of naira on their wedding day, are just wasting money. They are not even looking at the bigger picture that's the marriage.
Marriage is forever if both parties are not selfish, while wedding is just one day affair. Alot of people getting married have misplaced priorities.
For me, a simple quiet court marriage is OK. Any of my friends or fans or family who do not like it, should make their own carnival like. It's their choice.

Then with genieve, how do u know she's not happy? Let's assume. How? Because she's single and not married?

Maybe tasting different dicks and bodies give her immeasurable joy. You can't say? As some Men love tasting different pussies, also there are women who enjoys tasting different men. It gives them great joy.

Not everyone must desire marriage or must marry. That's my view anyways.

sharone21:


So, who told you childbearing is solely a woman's work especially for ENTITLED men like you.
If u want to save cost, bear the children yourself after all they will bear your surname.....or PAY a surrogate....
This is 21st century biko.

Is childbearing work? Your type will get paid to get pregnant and born, I laff at your village people. And you skipped the bride price side, I thought as much. If a woman tells me she can't CARRY OUR CHILD like her mother carried her abeg I go find my level. I'm AFRAID that motherly love might soon be lost over worthless nonsense thoughts like yours..

victorian:









For me? I don't have issues with white wedding.
Traditional and court Is OK by me. People looking at spending millions or lots of thousands of naira on their wedding day, are just wasting money. They are not even looking at the bigger picture that's the marriage.
Marriage is forever if both parties are not selfish, while wedding is just one day affair. Alot of people getting married have misplaced priorities.
For me, a simple quiet court marriage is OK. Any of my friends or fans or family who do not like it, should make their own carnival like. It's their choice.

Then with genieve, how do u know she's not happy? Let's assume. How? Because she's single and not married?

Maybe tasting different dicks and bodies give her immeasurable joy. You can't say? As some Men love tasting different pussies, also there are women who enjoys tasting different men. It gives them great joy.

Not everyone must desire marriage or must marry. That's my view anyways.

I don't care about her happiness, she assumed so I decided to counter it. But can you be sincere and say you'll sit your child down to advice them that to Bleep as many men or women as they want, I would never do that and morally I don't think it sounds good. You don't want to get married but you want the fun of marriage and mind you, you'll jumping between married men/women. Well I'm not married maybe because I see it as a beautiful union in my opinion.

Promomarlie:


Is childbearing work? Your type will get paid to get pregnant and born, I laff at your village people. And you skipped the bride price side, I thought as much. If a woman tells me she can't CARRY OUR CHILD like her mother carried her abeg I go find my level. I'm AFRAID that motherly love might soon be lost over worthless nonsense thoughts like yours..

No,..... child bearing is not work or risk to one's life because u just see women carry their babies and enter their houses, what about the many that weren't so lucky? The man go come go marry another babe.
If dem REALLY tell u now to born children for your wife, u go start to panic and if at all u born na ONLY 1 pikin and u no go let the child and world hear world again.
Please, give it to women ANYDAY....don't EVER impose or debate on gender equality trash/feminism when you know women still do more work in any marriage, small wonder why children NEVER forget their mums..... For my type of dad( not your type of men), he is GOLDEN and we can NEVER forget him too( as his kids)....

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

You are good my guy.

Pls ops stand your ground, I have seen cases where the groom will cater for everything while the wife will use her money for frivolities while the husband suffers in silence. Tell her your reason for taking such a stand and let her know she too has a responsibility to take up in the house and she shouldn't see your income has our income while her own income is her own income. A bird flies with two wings and not one, also one hand doesn't put load on the head she must be an active contributor in the upkeep of the house since she too will be part of the decision making team. Pls take your stand as a saying goes thus, if you fail to stand for something you will fall for everything, a word is good enough for the wise.

slimmaintenance:
If it's possible, I could have given you 1000000 likes.
You too sabi


You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

He didn't impose, read again, he said he asked her to handle a part of the expenses, should he kneel, come on guys this is who you're going to spend the rest of your life with and you still need tactics to ask what will benefit you both?? I don't buy that ideal never.

MiddleDimension:


in the same 21st century, it is expected that men kneels down to propose and in this 21st century, women still don't want to do the proposing and asking out because they don't want to put themselves in the vulnerable position of being rejected.
how do you explain that?

Who expects this, exactly? The practice of kneeling down to propose probably began during the Romantic Era in the European society, when women were regarded as fragile and chivalry was very much alive. Kneeling is supposed to be a sign of respect and honor, so chivalrous men knelt to propose marriage with the hope that the special woman will do them the honor by accepting. This continued until it became a culture.

That is In the European society.

In African society kneeling down before a woman is a taboo because you kneel before who has authority over you, so when you kneel before a woman, you have passed your authority to her. We don't have such practices in our culture.

Kneeling to propose is an alien culture, just as white wedding, baby shower, bridal showers etc So when you say "it is expected that a man kneels to propose marriage to a woman", I seriously wonder who expects this. Definitely not me.

A woman also doesn't propose to a man because she is the one that is going be married into a family, not the other way round.

bluefilm:


Nonsense.

Am I surprised? ...na dem!!! .....

sharone21:


No,..... child bearing is not work or risk to one's life because u just see women carry their babies and enter their houses, what about the many that weren't so lucky? The man go come go marry another babe.
If dem REALLY tell u now to born children for your wife, u go start to panic and if at all u born na ONLY 1 pikin and u no go let the child and world hear world again.
Please, give it to women ANYDAY....don't EVER impose or debate on gender equality trash/feminism when you know women still do more work in any marriage, small wonder why children NEVER forget their mums..... For my type of dad( not your type of men), he is GOLDEN and we can NEVER forget him too( as his kids)....

If GOD blessed men with the power to carry children, I'll carry 6 with joy am happy you're talking from your mind set... You're pointlessly beating around the bush, it's better you continue sitting on your fence

ndcide:



Plz simplify.

Women are always know to cross boundaries when u give them an inch

They them selfs are fully aware of that it's just an in born trait. ..

If u know you are cool and okay with it for your authority to be questioned or u are ready to share your position as a man with a woman ,no problem ,but I just pray your kids don't grow up to see u as a weak man who has his authority been questioned in the house , becus of I want my wife to take care of some responsibility ,...
If you still don't understand,it's okay , every one with what he or she wants in life ..some men are cool been insulted by a lady while some aren't cool with it


Make she use her church mind or Muslim mind do the responsibility to assist you don't ever voice it out ,debt that is waiting for you at the front,you will wish u never made such a statement

Promomarlie:


If GOD blessed men with the power to carry children, I'll carry 6 with joy am happy you're talking from your mind set... You're pointlessly beating around the bush, it's better you continue sitting on your fence

E dey sweet to yarn dust carry 6 my ass!!!have you even felt 45 del of pain before.

“A human body can bear only up to 45 “DEL” (unit) of pain." “A mother feels up to 57 DEL of pain while giving birth which is equal to 20 bones getting fractured.”

walexbiz:
Pls ops stand your ground, I have seen cases where the groom will cater for everything while the wife will use her money for frivolities while the husband suffers in silence. Tell her your reason for taking such a stand and let her know she too has a responsibility to take up in the house and she shouldn't see your income has our income while her own income is her own income. A bird flies with two wings and not one, also one hand doesn't put load on the head she must be an active contributor in the upkeep of the house since she too will be part of the decision making team. Pls take your stand as a saying goes thus, if you fail to stand for something you will fall for everything, a word is good enough for the wise.

I stand with you fully

GoodBoi1:
Why should she walk out on the man? Can't she have a mature discussion and negotiate with him, give him reasons and tell him her capabilities?

She has to. To go and think if it is worth it. To decide if she has enough money left for those bills. To avoid reigning insults or saying things she might regret. Probably why she doesn't want to pick his calls.

My friend just asked his wife to lend him some money to add to the one he has in preparation for their white wedding. That's after he personally sponsored the traditional wedding o. She gave him 300k. Up till now he has not given her the money. Each time she brought up the issue, He will tell her that he will pay. Both of them will laugh it off. The issue is gradually dieing a natural death. You should have used the same method.

larryking540:


Women are always know to cross boundaries when u give them an inch

They them selfs are fully aware of that it's just an in born trait. ..

If u know you are cool and okay with it for your authority to be questioned or u are ready to share your position as a man with a woman ,no problem ,but I just pray your kids don't grow up to see u as a weak man who has his authority been questioned in the house , becus of I want my wife to take care of some responsibility ,...
If you still don't understand,it's okay , every one with what he or she wants in life ..some men are cool been insulted by a lady while some aren't cool with it


Make she use her church mind or Muslim mind do the responsibility to assist you don't ever voice it out ,debt that is waiting for you at the front,you will wish u never made such a statement

I thought women are helpers. Woman she go question your authority go do am, even if you provide 100%

ndcide:


I thought women are helpers. Woman she go question your authority go do am, even if you provide 100%

Yeah ,they are but you don't give them a responsibility ,make they use their mind talk say don't worry I will do dis ,or I will buy the wedding cloths or fill the gas or take care light bill
That's y you don't just see a beautiful lady and quickly take her to church for wedding bro na green snake wake go send you to early grace most times we day carry ....

There are is also probability that the girl you meet over night and take to the alter might also be good but the chances are very very slim...

Take your time to date her well enough that she can confidently tell u "I know they never pay you salary ,don't worry I will take of kids school fees or choices .....Don't impose it on her


When you have nothing to loss in a relationship it becomes dangerous ...and that type of relationship is the one that doesn't involve enough courtship .....she didn't invest her time or energy before saying I do ,,,like wise the door is very very open for her to japa

Brazenbabe:
That is how the woman would pay most of the wedding bills and household bills, tomorrow they would wake up and say
"Get out of my house"
"I used my money to marry you"
"You don't have a say in this house"
"Your place is in the kitchen, etc
I hope you have also imposed half of the house work and child care on your self, the way you have imposed half of the wedding bills on her
This is the reality of a lot of married women in this country. They inherit more than half of the bills in the family, none of the equality, all of the chores, none of the respect etc.
Tomorrow, this one would impose his family on the woman wait on hands and feet, they would never tell the truth about how the bag of rice his family is swallowing was bought by the woman o
If only their ego was directly proportional to their finances. E for good o.

TRASH in capital letters

joey150:


Do you get to pick and choose? Is Christianity not a white man's religion? Since you subscribe to it, it's only common sense that you regard it's teaching which says you have to wed in it. If not, you're just a hypocrite.

If you think the traditional rites are fine, when the same traditional rite asks you to contribute to a sacrifice or bow before a god, do you do it? But hey, it's wedding rites are supreme just because 'you don't have money'.

So it's time for the wedding and suddenly you want to damn the 'white man's religion'. Then when you need
help or 'miracle' you run to the same white man's religion?

This hypocrisy is our number one setback. We aren't just very honest or upright people willing to see through things to the end or completely abide by them.

Look it's okay to not have money or be broke, what's wrong is trying to irrationally justify your decisions based on them.

And where in the bible was church wedding mentioned.

Bro abeg let it pass. G night

Michellekabod2:
See the issue posh wedding has caused?
So the years of love will be wasted just because of argument on wedding bills...

If my husband brings 5 million for wedding,i will use 4.5 million to start a business for myself and the 500k will be for the court wedding, light refreshment and traditional rites

Smart babe but I bet you, u don't have the balls to do that

akaahs:

Smart babe but I bet you, u don't have the balls to do that

why?

Brazenbabe:


My point is that you people are quick to share bills with your wives/fiances but never share the domestic responsibilities
You people are quick to say what you did for her but never say what they do for you
See how all of you are on the other thread saying your families come before your wife, bla bla bla
Will you also tell your families your wives pay at least half of the bills?
I thought Nigerian women contributed nothing to the household and lives of their husbands? Why are we now being asked to pay for weddings
Abi would the man agree to answer our surname?

This one is not a home bill. It is a bill for the wife's extravagance. If she wants big wedding, she should pay for it. Most men consider it a gross waste of funds.

You are on point, sir. Annoying as well.

creolehunt:


Excuse me. Please is there anything even remotely wrong with her contributing to her own wedding? Should this even be a problem at all? It will be interesting to know why the woman in question is angry.

Somehow I detest selfish, entitled and unreasonable people. Shee earns 200k which is a whole lot of money given the economic realities of the time yet she won't want to be a financial partaker. When it suits them, they become equality advocates, other times they conveniently turn a blind eye.

I read where some of them were rambling incoherently on how they don't want their in-laws in their house. This is same women that bring all their family and ancestral problems to the man the moment he proposes.

Quite disturbing.

Nice one.

12inchess:
Just take this
as the first test and lesson if you eventually get married. But she should pay her fair share. And I'm not saying 50-50 but you guys know what you're both earning and what is fair. But if you allow her to get away with this don't come here and complain ooo. Women are now earning as much as men in the workforce and sometimes even more. Yet many African women don't think they should contribute anything. They just want to save their own money while you will be stressing all your life about home finances and she has millions tucked somewhere. Some may not even help you when you're in financial stress or they see it as doing you a favor. This is the number one reason why many African men die early before their time. This is not Godly at all and I don't know where these idea came from. Some will even try to support their wickedness by saying they do all the chores and cooking. If you remove the man from the house for a month, come back to that house and see how many things will either be damaged, not working, bulbs burnt out and not replaced, sockets are broken, electronics not working, pump spoilt, faucet leaking, car broken down etc. Women never take the time to maintain these things. The thing is that there are gender roles in our culture.

My advice to you is to insist at this time. Otherwise, you'd be here soon complaining about how your wife went behind your back to use all the money she has saved to finish her own personal house while the family house project is stil pending.

Ishilove:

Your wife (YES, SHE IS YOUR WIFE ONCE YOU HAVE DONE THE FULL TRADITIONAL RITES) earns 180k per month. She complained you are doing well for yourself and you are very stingy. She said you asked her "what will you be doing with your money?"

Sylvester, you need Jesus.

Damn it, your savagery join body come

Ishilove:

In this 21st century?

You need deliverance

Which one come be your own?

Belafonte:


Well, that IS a good question. What will she be doing with her money?

She says husband is doing well for himself and is stingy, husband retorts with a poignant question about how she intends to use her earnings. Now, she doesn’t want to pick his calls. I think he knows she wants to spend his money and selfishly keep hers. She didn’t know he was stingy before accepting to marry him? Abi she thinks he’s doing well by spending money anyhow?

Is she submissive? Does she kneel down and greet him in the morning? Does she kneel when serving him food? . If she doesn’t, no problem. It only shows they are equal in the marriage. Again, what does she intend to do with her money?

brother you need jesus more than Sylvester

bukatyne:


@bold:

It depends on the tribe.

In Yoruba land, the bride's family hosts the wedding. The couple can do the wedding gown, accessories, hall etc.

The food which is the bulk is handed by the bride's family.

I know the bride's family sponsors a large chunk of the wedding amongst the Yorubas but poverty has done a number on some people that they now shed the responsibility on the groom and his family. Now for ordinary intro, the lady will request for money from the man to host him and his family. I don't know of I should blame poverty or entitlement mentality for this

Women scream they want equal pay and now they get it. But not equal expenses. But it's that man they want equal pay with that must die of debt. If they don't want to be shouldering responsibilities, then why are they earning same as the man who's to shoulder responsibilities.
Men can never have it fair

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!