₦airaland Forum

CsRockefeller:
I'm inside a bus, suddenly, someone is asking me to pay their t fare, what I have isn't enough for me yet, I still pay.

I don't know what people see in me that they always ask me and I hardly refuse. I've once bought a specific meal for a beggar on a bridge, till that moment, I had never bought such for myself.

Last year, I almost ended up buying a phone for a family friend who needed one while I was managing a palasa.

I'm tired joor. Let me selfish for once.

1 NAF officer I lend money last yr, yesterday I complaint bitterly to him abt a girl who borrowed money from me and refused to refund. He gave me advice and I was shocked he didnt talk abt d money he borrowed frm me.

GreatResearcher:
I made this rule last yr but broke it.

You broke it because you are still being too nice. My only suggestion is to keep trying till you get used to it. There are some people you can borrow so much because we both know they will always pay back, those ones you can borrow.

GboyegaD:
You broke it because you are still being too nice. My only suggestion is to keep trying till you get used to it. There are some people you can borrow so much because we both know they will always pay back, those ones you can borrow.

Thanks

GreatResearcher:
1 NAF officer I lend money last yr, yesterday I complaint bitterly to him abt a girl who borrowed money from me and refused to refund. He gave me advice and I was shocked he didnt talk abt d money he borrowed frm me.

Lol....... Mad o!

chatinent:
You f with an attitude!

A line from Chris Brown in Blow My Mind

It simple. Start by saying no to little requests.

Can I see that? No!

Can I know your name? No!

Can I take a picture with you? No!

Can I have your number? No!

Can I be your partner? No!

Can I borrow that? No!

Can I know your house? No!






Can you borrow me money? No!!!

Karleb:
It simple. Start by saying no to little requests.

Can I see that? No!

Can I know your name? No!

Can I take a picture with you? No!

Can I have your number? No!

Can I be your partner? No!

Can I borrow that? No!

Can I know your house? No!






Can you borrow me money? No!!!

Thanks

GreatResearcher:
I am, I don't know if to use the word MEEK or WEAK.
I am someone who doesn't know how to say NO to request especialy if I can grant such request.
People (men & women) take advantage of this to get thing from me. Mostly they borrow money from me. While some refund (though not on the time they promise to refund) most of them don't refund.
I don't know what kind of human I am. I find it hard to call people and tell them to refund my money. Sometime I will think they've forgotten. It will take me some guts to ask them. Some I will let it go.
Last year my ex borrowed money from me and refused to refund. The annoying part is that when I call she ignore my calls.
We had agreement that by Jan she should pay off. She sent me text to insult me telling me not to disturb her life that even govt owe debt.
I am confused and shock at how people can be wicked.

I need advice on how to say no to people coming for help. How to be harden and not pity people.
Sometimes I will off my phone to avoid people calling for help but it affects my business.
5 of my military friends owe me money since last year. We chat almost everyday and none has even talk of the money and I can't ask.
I hate telling people to do what they already know they should do.
I need advice.

This used to be my story until I grew some balls (no pun intended). The first rule of borrowing is that you should loan out amounts that you can easily part ways with, just in case it turns out to be a part debt. Also, try to understand the potential loanee's outlook towards debt payment. Some people have it in their character not to pay up their debts (even if they can). Lastly, you must understand that it is okay to say no sometimes, it doesn't make you a terrible person.

GreatResearcher:
I am, I don't know if to use the word MEEK or WEAK.
I am someone who doesn't know how to say NO to request especialy if I can grant such request.
People (men & women) take advantage of this to get thing from me. Mostly they borrow money from me. While some refund (though not on the time they promise to refund) most of them don't refund.
I don't know what kind of human I am. I find it hard to call people and tell them to refund my money. Sometime I will think they've forgotten. It will take me some guts to ask them. Some I will let it go.
Last year my ex borrowed money from me and refused to refund. The annoying part is that when I call she ignore my calls.
We had agreement that by Jan she should pay off. She sent me text to insult me telling me not to disturb her life that even govt owe debt.
I am confused and shock at how people can be wicked.

I need advice on how to say no to people coming for help. How to be harden and not pity people.
Sometimes I will off my phone to avoid people calling for help but it affects my business.
5 of my military friends owe me money since last year. We chat almost everyday and none has even talk of the money and I can't ask.
I hate telling people to do what they already know they should do.
I need advice.

This used to be my story until I grew some balls (no pun intended). The first rule of borrowing is that you should loan out amounts that you can easily part ways with, just in case it turns out to be a part debt. Also, try to understand the potential loanee's outlook towards debt payment. Some people have it in their character not to pay up their debts (even if they can). Lastly, you must understand that it is okay to say no sometimes, it doesn't make you a terrible person. A simple " sorry, i cannot be of help" should always suffice.

GreatResearcher:
She doesnt say she wont pay. She say she wil pay wen she has. And I need money

Was that the agreement you people had? As in she paying when she has money? Consider this a bad debt, learn from your mistakes and don't loan out money unless its an amount that you can part ways with without feeling the heat.

RisenPhoenix:
There is no technique. Stop trying to make everybody love you that is all. Start by saying "no" then walk away without any explanation or apology. Do that continuously to every request; from passing the salt to lending money; for one whole month. Your heart will harden after some practise.

As for the past loans, forget them. If they return them to you, consider it a bonus.

Exactly, even Jesus was not loved by all. Op, just do you and forget about what people would say. You cannot please humans (some).

GreatResearcher:
Mine is really bad. I wil go to buy tins and would meet someone came to d same shop to buy. Maybe due to change he/she was unable to purchase d item I wil find myself buying dat tin 4 d person.

I do that too, but only when it is convinient. I pay tfare for oldies and kids only when its an amount I can spare, balance up for groceries if I can afford to.... You can still do these things moderately. Its just unfortunate that you don't have friends who can call out your excesses on this matter. Therefore, you should consider making some new friends (not users o)

Michellekabod2:
People of high value use the word "No" often

And that is why they are still of high class value. Dangote wouldn't be the Dangote of today if he had carelessly loaned out his business capital... Op, take note.

Juliearth:
Was that the agreement you people had? As in she paying when she has money? Consider this a bad debt, learn from your mistakes and don't loan out money unless its an amount that you can part ways with without feeling the heat.

The agreement was to pay up by Jan

Juliearth:
This used to be my story until I grew some balls (no pun intended). The first rule of borrowing is that you should loan out amounts that you can easily part ways with, just in case it turns out to be a part debt. Also, try to understand the potential loanee's outlook towards debt payment. Some people have it in their character not to pay up their debts (even if they can). Lastly, you must understand that it is okay to say no sometimes, it doesn't make you a terrible person.

In a situation where the person knows you have it, how or what do you say?

GreatResearcher:
In a situation where the person knows you have it, how or what do you say?

Why should your haves and have nots become public knowledge? Even if they know you have, you still have the right to say no!

GreatResearcher:
The agreement was to pay up by Jan

Let it go! Consider it a bad debt!! But learn from your mistake!!!

Stop laughing with people when it comes to cash matter, look for a financial adviser or become friends with business oriented persons for ideas on savings and investment. Learn to take your self out and chill (one man army).
Pick your phone and text all ur Military/Civilian friends that you need your cash latest by Wednesday and see their reactions whether it's over a year you gave that cash. Right now&Sharply

my2cents

GreatResearcher:
In a situation where the person knows you have it, how or what do you say?

Aren't you part of any cooperative society. learn to save and increase your saving habits. Tell them you don't have spare cash ,live&direct.
Get a diary and list all the private jets and skyscraper you dream of buying, that rolls Royce and push&start car (lols).
I don dey vex for you

I have an account amongst other account. This account doesn't have ATM. Every month, I put money there. Even if heaven n earth meet together, I don't withdraw from it n give to even a dying family member. Lol. I don't have one though. What I'm saying is this, there's a limit to being nice. Be nice to u first n be kind to ursf first before others can be kind to u. Learn to say no. Learn to transfer money same way I do. Cos I'm like u too. So once my savings account with ATM is showing RED, there's nothing you'll say that will make me give u. I'll rather promise u next time. Mind you I give o. But I don't touch my money from the account without ATM.

GreatResearcher:
I am, I don't know if to use the word MEEK or WEAK.
I am someone who doesn't know how to say NO to request especialy if I can grant such request.
People (men & women) take advantage of this to get thing from me. Mostly they borrow money from me. While some refund (though not on the time they promise to refund) most of them don't refund.
I don't know what kind of human I am. I find it hard to call people and tell them to refund my money. Sometime I will think they've forgotten. It will take me some guts to ask them. Some I will let it go.
Last year my ex borrowed money from me and refused to refund. The annoying part is that when I call she ignore my calls.
We had agreement that by Jan she should pay off. She sent me text to insult me telling me not to disturb her life that even govt owe debt.
I am confused and shock at how people can be wicked.

I need advice on how to say no to people coming for help. How to be harden and not pity people.
Sometimes I will off my phone to avoid people calling for help but it affects my business.
5 of my military friends owe me money since last year. We chat almost everyday and none has even talk of the money and I can't ask.
I hate telling people to do what they already know they should do.
I need advice.

Those borrowing money from you are nit btbe problem

You are the real problem

Stop �, I mean stop giving out money that you won't over look

You don't have responsibilities that's why they are borrowing from you

Start now to tell them how hard things are for you, if you can't do that be ready to give without expecting it back

The moment you fall in your carrier, none of them will ever ever help you