I am, I don't know if to use the word MEEK or WEAK.
I am someone who doesn't know how to say NO to request especialy if I can grant such request.
People (men & women) take advantage of this to get thing from me. Mostly they borrow money from me. While some refund (though not on the time they promise to refund) most of them don't refund.
I don't know what kind of human I am. I find it hard to call people and tell them to refund my money. Sometime I will think they've forgotten. It will take me some guts to ask them. Some I will let it go.
Last year my ex borrowed money from me and refused to refund. The annoying part is that when I call she ignore my calls.
We had agreement that by Jan she should pay off. She sent me text to insult me telling me not to disturb her life that even govt owe debt.
I am confused and shock at how people can be wicked.

I need advice on how to say no to people coming for help. How to be harden and not pity people.
Sometimes I will off my phone to avoid people calling for help but it affects my business.
5 of my military friends owe me money since last year. We chat almost everyday and none has even talk of the money and I can't ask.
I hate telling people to do what they already know they should do.
I need advice.

Change your subheading so that people can comein and advice you.
Good luck

izzygoing:
Change your subheading so that people can comein and advice you.
Good luck

To what?

Oga, arrest that so-called thief of an ex.
.
For borrowing, have a written agreement of date of payback with witnesses or property in kind before borrowing.
.
But, you fit borrow me 20k?

You again Like you would take the advice when given.

chatinent:
Oga, arrest that so-called thief of an ex.
.
For borrowing, have a written agreement of date of payback with witnesses or property in kind before borrowing.
.
But, you fit borrow me 20k?

We did agreement the agreement didnt state any penalty for failure to pay. Am told if I go to police d wil free her and tel me it's debt dat she wil pay.

chatinent:
Oga, arrest that so-called thief of an ex.
.
For borrowing, have a written agreement of date of payback with witnesses or property in kind before borrowing.
.
But, you fit borrow me 20k?

She doesnt say she wont pay. She say she wil pay wen she has. And I need money

GreatResearcher:
We did agreement the agreement didnt state any penalty for failure to pay. Am told if I go to police d wil free her and tel me it's debt dat she wil pay.

What's more? Simply tighten your free hand, then. Borrow not ingrates.

GreatResearcher:
She doesnt say she wont pay. She say she wil pay wen she has. And I need money

She na thief still.
Change your topic to be in line with your question.

I want you to know that you are pretending to be what you are not.

GreatResearcher:
To what?

I mean your topic

Sadly, you aren't a great researcher you called yourself as per your moniker. A great researcher should know what's called "Financial security" with the knowledge of that. Even if your mama make any financial request and little research shows you, it's unnecessary, you won't oblige talk less of people you aren't related by blood. You won't go forward in life with that kind of attitude. Go and make an amend.

GreatResearcher:
I am, I don't know if to use the word MEEK or WEAK.
I am someone who doesn't know how to say NO to request especialy if I can grant such request.
People (men & women) take advantage of this to get thing from me. Mostly they borrow money from me. While some refund (though not on the time they promise to refund) most of them don't refund.
I don't know what kind of human I am. I find it hard to call people and tell them to refund my money. Sometime I will think they've forgotten. It will take me some guts to ask them. Some I will let it go.
Last year my ex borrowed money from me and refused to refund. The annoying part is that when I call she ignore my calls.
We had agreement that by Jan she should pay off. She sent me text to insult me telling me not to disturb her life that even govt owe debt.
I am confused and shock at how people can be wicked.

I need advice on how to say no to people coming for help. How to be harden and not pity people.
Sometimes I will off my phone to avoid people calling for help but it affects my business.
5 of my military friends owe me money since last year. We chat almost everyday and none has even talk of the money and I can't ask.
I hate telling people to do what they already know they should do.
I need advice.

There is no technique. Stop trying to make everybody love you that is all. Start by saying "no" then walk away without any explanation or apology. Do that continuously to every request; from passing the salt to lending money; for one whole month. Your heart will harden after some practise.

As for the past loans, forget them. If they return them to you, consider it a bonus.

chatinent:

What's more? Simply tighten your free hand, then. Borrow not ingrates.

I have tried not to turn a shoulder to whoever wana cry on but I can. I just advice on how to do dis. I pity people a lot.
I don't know the kind of person I am. Two of my military friends do tell me that I cant join the military becus I dont hav a cold heart.

Meekness isn't weakness, just as selflessness isn't foolishness. You simply lack willpower and meekness - and your giving has never been from the place of selflessness. The two major things that can make someone to lack willpower are feeble-mindedness and pride/conceit - unfortunately, you're both feeble-minded and conceited, citing information available.

The solution to your problem lies in your hands - empty your cup.

I used to be like you until this year. Before, I could carry someone's problem like it was mine. You lend people monies, they don't pay back yet, you still give out money to different people when they are in need.

I put people's needs and happiness before mine, alas!! I went broke and no one was there to help.

So, I decided that it won't happen ever again. I come first, no matter what.

chatinent:

She na thief still.
Change your topic to be in line with your question.

What is the suitable topic?

CsRockefeller:
I used to be like you until this year. Before, I could carry someone's problem like it was mine. You lend people monies, they don't pay back yet, you still give out money to different people when they are in need.

I put people's needs and happiness before mine, alas!! I went broke and no one was there to help.

So, I decided that it won't happen ever again. I come first, no matter what.

Mine is really bad. I wil go to buy tins and would meet someone came to d same shop to buy. Maybe due to change he/she was unable to purchase d item I wil find myself buying dat tin 4 d person.

Troll much? Abeg we have coronavirus to deal with. No time for a drama king. You for ask us how to wipe ur ass after taking a dump

GreatResearcher:
I have tried not to turn a shoulder to whoever wana cry on but I can. I just advice on how to do dis. I pity people a lot.
I don't know the kind of person I am. Two of my military friends do tell me that I cant join the military becus I dont hav a cold heart.

You are a good person, ignore what anyone has to say. However, don't be too good to be seen too foolish. You are your top priority.
.
A suitable topic will be: 'why do people misdeem my good gestures to lend money for foolery?'

CsRockefeller:
I used to be like you until this year. Before, I could carry someone's problem like it was mine. You lend people monies, they don't pay back yet, you still give out money to different people when they are in need.

I put people's needs and happiness before mine, alas!! I went broke and no one was there to help.

So, I decided that it won't happen ever again. I come first, no matter what.

Lol. That's how a guy has been singing it like an Anthem that he no get money. This person works o, he even called today that his son is in d hospital and no money bla bla bla.. Toh I said my sorry and God healing and off phone cos such people won't even lend a helping hand when I'm down... Many of them like that are simply frauds looking for who to milk. Only when they need something, u see them remember u.

chatinent:

You are a good person, ignore what anyone has to say. However, don't be too good to be seen too foolish. You are your top priority.
.
A suitable topic will be: 'why do people misdeem my good gestures to lend money for foolery?'

Once people know you a cheerful giver, they paint all sort of problems just to milk you.

RisenPhoenix:


There is no technique. Stop trying to make everybody love you that is all. Start by saying "no" then walk away without any explanation or apology. Do that continuously to every request; from passing the salt to lending money; for one whole month. Your heart will harden after some practise.

As for the past loans, forget them. If they return them to you, consider it a bonus.

Abi he should try and act broke and beg those people for money... Shingbai him no go see collect

SweetCunt97:
Once people know you a cheerful giver, they paint all sort of problems just to milk you.

You f with an attitude!

chatinent:

You are a good person, ignore what anyone has to say. However, don't be too good to be seen too foolish. You are your top priority.
.
A suitable topic will be: 'why do people misdeem my good gestures to lend money for foolery?'

Thanks bro

GreatResearcher:
Thanks bro

All right.
Not all caps. I mean your topic.

SweetCunt97:
Lol. That's how a guy has been singing it like an Anthem that he no get money. This person works o, he even called today that his son is in d hospital and no money bla bla bla.. Toh I said my sorry and God healing and off phone cos such people won't even lend a helping hand when I'm down... Many of them like that are simply frauds looking for who to milk. Only when they need something, u see them remember u.

Sad. There are still genuine people out there in need but I've come to realize that I can't keep putting myself second. It's not like I'm even making crazy money.

GreatResearcher:
I am, I don't know if to use the word MEEK or WEAK.
I am someone who doesn't know how to say NO to request especialy if I can grant such request.
People (men & women) take advantage of this to get thing from me. Mostly they borrow money from me. While some refund (though not on the time they promise to refund) most of them don't refund.
I don't know what kind of human I am. I find it hard to call people and tell them to refund my money. Sometime I will think they've forgotten. It will take me some guts to ask them. Some I will let it go.
Last year my ex borrowed money from me and refused to refund. The annoying part is that when I call she ignore my calls.
We had agreement that by Jan she should pay off. She sent me text to insult me telling me not to disturb her life that even govt owe debt.
I am confused and shock at how people can be wicked.

I need advice on how to say no to people coming for help. How to be harden and not pity people.
Sometimes I will off my phone to avoid people calling for help but it affects my business.
5 of my military friends owe me money since last year. We chat almost everyday and none has even talk of the money and I can't ask.
I hate telling people to do what they already know they should do.
I need advice.

People of high value use the word "No" often

NextD18:
I want you to know that you are pretending to be what you are not.

I want you to know that this thread would not reach front page. So that your hunger for NL likes would not be quashed on this thread.

GreatResearcher:
Mine is really bad. I wil go to buy tins and would meet someone came to d same shop to buy. Maybe due to change he/she was unable to purchase d item I wil find myself buying dat tin 4 d person.

I'm inside a bus, suddenly, someone is asking me to pay their t fare, what I have isn't enough for me yet, I still pay.

I don't know what people see in me that they always ask me and I hardly refuse. I've once bought a specific meal for a beggar on a bridge, till that moment, I had never bought such for myself.

Last year, I almost ended up buying a phone for a family friend who needed one while I was managing a palasa.

I'm tired joor. Let me selfish for once.

Going forward, find a means to invest a larger chunk of your excess finances from time to time. You could do a Fixed Deposit with monthly rollover although the rate might be small, it helps reduce the available float you have to borrow out. Also, for those who you have borrowed once, do not borrow them again if they ever reneged on the time they ought to pay back. Most importantly, have a maximum that you can give out if the person(s) refuse to pay back and never borrow out more than that amount to each individual.

GboyegaD:
Going forward, find a means to invest a larger chunk of your excess finances from time to time. You could do a Fixed Deposit with monthly rollover although the rate might be small, it helps reduce the available float you have to borrow out. Also, for those who you have borrowed once, do not borrow them again if they ever reneged on the time they ought to pay back. Most importantly, have a maximum that you can give out if the person(s) refuse to pay back and never borrow out more than that amount to each individual.

I made this rule last yr but broke it.