₦airaland Forum

kkins25:
COVID -19 a deadly yet fascinating virus has spread across continents faster than Jesus resurrected to heaven. COVID 19 will definitely be imprinted in the sub consciousness of humanity and has earned itself a respectable throne in the kingdom of history books.

In the book of revelations, God promised that he would one day rid the world of the overwhelming evil that has shadowed the earth from the light of the Heavens. God being a wise omnipotent being, had foreseen that humanity would in some era embrace the darkness that strangles it. God did forsee the rise in adulterated freedom of speech, religion and sexual preference even before he crafted the clay that became Adam. indeed; God works in mysterious ways, HE crafted a remarkable plan.
God has revealed this vision to me and instructed me to share with you; the generation of perversion and ungodliness. please grab a sit as i recall my ordeal.

"kkins! kkins!! kkins!!!, wake up from thy slumber - thou lazy youth of a perverted generation. you will deliver my message to the rest of your kind and let them know that i- the i am that i am, the alpha and omega has seen the evil works of humanity and i shall spare them no longer."


upon hearing HIS voice, i awoken; faster than a deer hunted by a leopard. my knees crumbled to the floor like it yearned for its touch, a power penetrated through my flesh and filled my veins- i was no one compared to the one who called out my name.

"who calls my name?"
"who is there?" i asked with my knees vibrating like that instrument CAPSLOCKEDs girlfriend puts inbetween her legs after he has done his 5 seconds paraplegic marathon workout.

"be aware, you stand on HOLY GROUND. bow before your lord your God"

Before i could express my cocktail of joy, hatred, anxiety, curiosity and fear among st others; i found myself in the allah akhbar position. it seemed an invisible force had full control over my body. my memories were triggered by the vaseline body lotion laying on the floor just a few feets away. i hadnt replaced the cover lid after i used it last night. i awoke to reality once more; with the human figure covered with an aura of eye blinding light standing before me.

"g-g- good evening bro-o- ehm God-sir. i am most perplexed and humbled by your presence"
"hello be thy name"
"the alufa and omema"
"the ominiporous ,the no-nonsense, the omnipresent God"

i yelled out as i tried to recall the praises my mum used to sing during morning devotion which i almost never attended because i was too guilty to face God after carefully lubricating my manhood the previous night, of course the vaseline body lotion was my partner in crime.

"what is this white slimy creamy looking liquid that lays on the floor"

was this a trap? God should know this already. My thoughts began another frenzy race; what do i say; 'is this a test'? oh God! if only i attended sunday services those gatherings that our f*cking pastor organizes weekly. wait a minute, can God read my mind? ohh f*ck!.. in the moment of chaos, i decided to tell the truth:

"i spilled my yogurt on the floor and forgot to wipe it, i'm sorry lord"

"thou thinketh me a fool? "

"No lord, we no longer call it seed, its now cal- called yogurt. forgive me Lord"
"such a ridiculous creature, you spill seed that was meant for the womb on the floor?
"you shall be my prophet. i do as i please, I am the lord God"

"Go to Nairaland and deliver this message to the pastors that blaspheme my name
to those who pray for the world to see, to those who trade in my house"

"i am the lord, and i know the beginning and the end. for where were you when i shaped the universe?
other gods tremble at the sight of my shadow.
what was humanity but a thought i had not manifested"
you shall deliver unto thy brethren that the i am that i am says;


"shall the sheep suffer for the crime of the wolf"? i interrupted.

"verily verily, i say to you, no one is innocent."

"i knew many would blaspheme against my spirit; i knew muttleylaff, a serpent like his father the devil would lie in my name saying i love men who spill seed into another man.
i knew budaatum would not believe in me yet claim he has been touched by my spirit of wisdom
i knew fumitsiqueen2 would rise and speak in the church against my command
i knew seun would build a platform for the devil where he shall persecute my sheep.
Let it be known to all that I am the Lord your God."

for your balsphemey, i have cursed you thus:

to be continued...

kkins25:
"who calls my name?"
"who is there?" i asked with my knees vibrating like that instrument CAPSLOCKEDs girlfriend puts inbetween her legs after he has done his 5 seconds paraplegic marathon workout.

MuttleyLaff:
"Then the third of these strange beasts appeared, and it looked like a leopard.
It had four bird’s wings on its back, and it had four heads. Great authority was given to this beast."
- Daniel 7:6

"The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion.
The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority."
- Revelation 13:2

kkins25, lol, just like the leopard, never changes its spots, lol

Nothing wey igbo no fit cause and/or curse pesin ooo. Hin bin like say, igbo don scatter this ya head yafinyafin comot kkins25. You must now have become a honorary original igbo man. Pardon the pun. Igbo kwenu, hey! x3. This your dealer, nah bad guy, lol

CAPSLOCKED:
OH, ISHILOVE, IF YOU WANT I CAN IMPROVE TO 8 SECONDS? OR 9?

kkins25:
the almighty chineke fire you there...hahahahha