₦airaland Forum

RisenPhoenix:
Men who think that way are only echoing the feminist narrative without knowing it. They are emasculating themselves while thinking that they still retain respect. It comes from misunderstanding what masculinity is all about. Any woman who marries a man must learn to live within his capability. A simp is afraid to refuse his wife's demands for a 'better' standard of living; so he takes money from her to finance that lifestyle; losing his status in the process.

nlPoster:
I logged on and typed 12:51am, this post/thread came up 1:09am.

This is annoying.

People here always throwing personal jabs because they know or heard of me from hacking, gossip, malice, spying, eavesdropping, etc but I dont know who THEY are. So I'm unable to respond adequately to their underhand attacks on my person. They monitor everything I do and my posts here, then throw jabs, knowing I don't have the necessary info on their own misdeeds meanwhile they derive excessive and sociopathic joy from making me look bad every chance they get. I have been offline for days now and the site was quiet. I log on and the usual miscreants immediately start their work.

Ok.

May God give you proper jobs so you don't keep ruining nairaland for everybody.

efosky1246:
My brother you are literally taking the words right from my mouth.
If you are a man that makes less than 100k, get a woman that is very comfortable with your ability to provide in that capacity. If you earn more, get a woman that is fine with your capacity. Stop depending on a woman to create your reality. Oh ye woke men. That way you eliminate 70% of potential issues that might spring up later

MrBrownJay1:
IMHO i dont think her income has anything to do with finding a right mate, and instead this should be primarily about the MINDSET of that person. a job is just a tool to "help" you guys have a better life, it aint a necessary foundation to assure anyone of a great union. yes , a lot of women out there are LIABILITIES, but having a job does not solve this issue. there are a lot of LIABILITIES out there that have jobs.

the important question Is: whats important for your family?! a wife with a job (that she could lose a week after wedding) OR a wife with good character (that she can never lose)?! there is a huge difference between a mentally/emotionally broke woman AND a woman who is currently unemployed.

MrBrownJay1:
in this age of woman being intelligent and educated, of course they will... unless of course you are talking about useless good for nothing slay queen that have nothing to offer a man but a warm coochie.
REMEMBER a man may be broke AFTER paying the rent/bills/food etc and that certainly does not make him a poor dude....far from it!



i dont believe it is... it only is in Africa/Nigeria etc where marriage is a do or die mission. thus many are marrying donkeys not because they want to spend the rest of their natural life with their loved one, BUT SIMPLY BECAUSE thats what society/family/religion/friends etc demands of them.

there should be no overcalculation here... you find someone, she ticks all the natural foundation/character/desire that you need in a mate, and you you guys settle to spend the rest of your lives together. having a job is irrelevant, so long as she is intelligent/educated and actively seeking for employment.

sweetrace:
Women make sure you marry a man who makes good money. Then he won’t be interested in making you a source of income. He will be willing and able to provide for his family.

BareFacedLies:
Any guy who is not yet married should take this advise very seriously!

ravensckar:
I don't know who you are, but I pray that the Most High will bless you abundantly for this. What most men fail to realize is that the moment a woman too start bringing home money, things will turn chaotic in that house. Let me use myself as an example. My first two years of marriage was the most peaceful and enjoyable. You know why? My wife wasn't working then. She looks after our child, takes care of the house, cook me good meals such that I started getting fat. Whenever I'm out for work, I always feel like going home to meet my sweet and loving wife. Everything was going peacefully until boom....


I used my own hand find trouble. I helped her get a job. She started with 60K salary, then, things started to change. After a short while, she decided to go into trading. After gathering my savings and obtaining a loan at my place of work. She started something. That was when the 'devil' in her show face.

She started disrespecting me, now, if I talk one, she'll talk five. It got so worse that she comes home around past 10 and you know what that means; no delicious dinner, no hot sex, no conversation or lovey lovey talk because she's very tired. Things got so worse that she doesn't even have time for her kid. She sometimes send the poor child to child on bike without even accompanying her.


We don quarrel tire. Papa talk, mama put mouth, relative settle quarrel, all to no avail. Now, I've applied the greatest gift of all; patience. I no longer let her actions bother me again. Need I even tell you that she doesn't contribute 'shishi' to the running of the house? Yes, you heard me clearly.


Why am I typing this? It's so those of you who are about to get married know the implication of your choice. A woman who does petty trading may not assist you financially, but she'll give you that peace of mind and make the marriage enjoyable. A woman who makes as much as you earn may not afford you that luxury of a peaceful marriage, but one way or the other, she'll assist you financially in running the house. Please and please, let nobody tell me that there's any woman who can contribute financially and still give her best in the marriage. I'm yet to find one.


PS- having accepted my cross, I resorted to giving myself peace through my watching movies, playing playstation, hanging out with my gees and focusing on my job. One woman no fit scatter my head o jere.

Poorboy:
that's why you're still single

emmanuelewumi:
Make sure your wife doesn't have a job , business or make any money by her self.

A man who was 100% responsible for his family, wife and for his in-laws, almost committed suicide when he found out that his wife who never contributed a dime to the home front has built 2 houses in Lagos, when the husband doesn't have a single house and still struggling to pay rent.

When the family and the pastor intervened on the matter, she later agreed to change the title of the property to her children's names. And started using the rental income from the two properties to assist in the home front

sweetrace:
Women make sure you marry a man who makes good money. Then he won’t be interested in making you a source of income. He will be willing and able to provide for his family.

sweetrace:
And you know for sure I am still single abi? You are looking for a woman to take care of you while real men provide for their families. That’s why you are on Nairaland writing what you know nothing about.

Poorboy:
no sense in what you just put up here.

Farki:
[/b]The OP isn't asking for much, just that the woman be employed and able to function without needing her husband to foot every bill and make every payment. That way both parties and the children can benefit. [b]

I'm sure some guys wouldn't mind having stay at home wives but that simply isn't possible for some people right now.

And the woman doesn't need to do all the chores and take care of all the children by herself. If the husband wasn't supportive why did she marry him in the first place? She must have married a functioning adult and not a baby that needs to be cleaned up after. Plus men do chores too, the work and chores that is often backbreaking and risky with almost no recognition from their wives because it is expected of them but you don't hear us complaining about it.

In the end we have a choice, a superwoman can marry an average Joe or go for someone on her level or marry that will be spoiling her.

Genset:
Obviously, it is not supposed to make sense to a 'poorboy'

CSTR2:
Most rich men don't marry liabilities.

Look at Tony elumelu. His wife is a medical doctor.

You can't find an Exxon Mobil engineer looking for a wife in mushin where they are lot of jobless ladies.

An Exxon Mobil engineer would most likely get married to a Female engineer he met in a site or a female marketing executive he met in a business seminar for oil majors or a medic doctor working for his company.

Where would he meet jobless women.?

Belafonte:
Sounding daft as always. How can one person be ugly, stupid and bitter at the same time? What kind of misfortune is that one?

Poorboy:
you're single and will still be, don't hype yourself. With your mentality when you're ok with runs you will look for an old man to marry.

cr7lomo:
Also avoid women from struggling homes even if they earn...cos it's as good as no job cos everything she earns will go bk to her family while u still earn for her and her family

josen16322:
wen som women start makin cash more dan their husband dey wil be like i am now d head of d family i can provide half of d tins my children needs be4 u kno it d husband wil be talkin one d wife wil be talkin 2 no more respect 4d husband dis incident is hapenin in my compound dat is y women can neva rule dis country becos wen dey start 2 earn more dan their husband,dem go form pass shit

sweetrace:
There should be an age restriction on those on Nairaland. Calling a woman a prostitute because she does not agree with your opinions is for the uncouth.

Nooil:
I am telling you. That's why there are so many divorces cases. Women are not down for that shit.

Independent women will not even settle for that. That's why the slightest mistake from the man, they are calling for divorce.

Why women bore the extravagance of men in the past is that the latter compensated by being the breadwinner. That made women respect and revere them.

Take that away, what is left? To be answering Mrs and I'm married? Iffa hear!

Of course every sensible woman would like to have their source of income, but definitely not to come and do equal contribution. Because that will only make the testosterone in them increase and they'll start exhibiting male tendencies. Then the same men that wanted it that way will run away. Lol!

2buffagain:
Gentlemen. The reality of living in the 20th century has changed, and so must every notion formed from previous days that no longer hold weight today.

Women are not the only ones who should be asking what you do.
You should also be asking her what she does....and guaging her wifeability from her response.
Nobody likes to suffer...yourself included. So why sign up for a lifetime of every financial request of your immediate family (and possibly both your extended families ) coming to just you alone?

Gone are the days where families survived on one income alone. Those days, houses in Nigeria used to cost #5M or less. These same houses now cost well over #30M.

I can bet your income did not also inflate 6x over the same time.

The reality is that you need a wife who also brings something home, and honestly it should hopefully be around the same (or more God willing) of what you pull in.

This way one person's income can cover the family stuff and the other person's income goes towardssavings/investments/emergencies/joblessness buffering/ etc. Your family will go farther and you can even both retire earlier if this is done right.

Also Naija guys please, have some respect for yourself.
If you meet a girl and she has the mental configuration of always wanting money from you, just know that she is not the one.

As a sister here once said, "A girl who truly likes you, won't ask you for money...unless it's bad and you are her last resort."
Na woman talk am. Believe that sister. Peep that one game from her, and most of you will be alright.

If a girl really likes you, she'll be too busy trying to think of ways to be an asset to your life or impress you...not a taker.

Get you a girl who makes her money with a good source of income and who understands that her income is to be included in plans.

You have been told.
You should be done with your broke girl phase right about now ^{(much like how women should be done with their bad boy stage).}
It does nothing for your life.

NOTE: I am not saying go and marry an idiot because she makes money.... Obviously.
You are still looking for a good wife, who just ALSO happens to be equipped with income and/or good income prospects and drive.

dude, you get too much sense

MrBrownJay1:
IMHO i dont think her income has anything to do with finding a right mate, and instead this should be primarily about the MINDSET of that person. a job is just a tool to "help" you guys have a better life, it aint a necessary foundation to assure anyone of a great union. yes , a lot of women out there are LIABILITIES, but having a job does not solve this issue. there are a lot of LIABILITIES out there that have jobs.

the important question Is: whats important for your family?! a wife with a job (that she could lose a week after wedding) OR a wife with good character (that she can never lose)?! there is a huge difference between a mentally/emotionally broke woman AND a woman who is currently unemployed.

2buffagain:
Guys who still think that way are not part of this century.

That, or they have never left for or lived in any western countries outside of Nigeria.
If they have, they will realize that, even if she doesn't bring any money, these women have been given a lot of powers, so the focus is on negotiation not control.
So if she is going to be having these powers as granted by the State, she might as well be bringing money to match

A bad situation a man can find himself in is having a broke/no-employable-skill-having wife, who still controls him on top of her financial irrelevance.

Poorboy:
A woman that eats buy clothes, pay rent etc and has nothing to do( no job, no business, no family stipends like even 25k monthly ) is a Prostitute.