₦airaland Forum

Graxie:
I love what I am reading from most men here, this is an eye opener for some foolish girls. You will open yourself for any man without condoms, after you will not even help yourself to take preventive pills, when you discover that you are pregnant, you will come online and meet the hypocrites that will tell you to keep the baby. Every day the same story, no plans, no future. The same religious fanatics that will preach against abortion are the same people that will condem you for being a single mom. For those still in the valley of decision, better read this thread and see Nigeria for what it is.

Eberechi24: I love you so much...I've grown to love you like kids love cake! Please give me a chance...biko

But a lady can marry a man with a child no matter the circumstances right?
What is good for the goose is good for the gander

Acct2:
Thanks to All your comments, believe me I expected different advices from different angles. What matters is LOVE and RESPECT from both couples. Thanks

My brother, I love your courage and mental strength...don't mind the barrage of rubbish comments here. You're a good person...& the world hates people like us!

I hope she is worth it...because the society will bruise you for this! But never mind them. You have friends that believe in you? Confide in them...
I won't advise you to tell your family for now...you could tell them later when all's set (wedding). By then, you're in and they have no choice other than to tag along

Once again, kudos...I wish we could talk away from here for moral support

frozen70:
Tell your parents about her

Tell your parents about her status with her child

You are the one to leave with her not your parents

If you find peace of mind in her, that's wonderful

Real and true love is difficult to get, so if you are happy with her as a life partner, forget about what your family will say

Just assure them that she is your happiness

You could face a huge war with them if you don't manage it well...he should confide in a friend that he trusts. I have a friend that did do, and when the family discovered i.e after the brideprice, hours before wedding, it was hot, but they had no choice...

Acct2:
Good day, My fellow nairalanders, I have to create this second account for ur advice.
I have a lady I met for some months now, We fell in love with eachother but the problem is that she had a daughter for another man. She's a single mum...should i tell my people about her daughter, because of the way our relationship is moving towards marriage... please I need the house to tell me the implications of hiding it from my people?

My take: don't tell them yet. They'll find out later and deal with it by then. For now, focus on blending well with her, her with your family and vice versa.

But...hope it's worth it oo. Good luck; don't mind the barrage of I'll comments you will get from people. I'm there with you on this one

Acct2:
Good day, My fellow nairalanders, I have to create this second account for ur advice.
I have a lady I met for some months now, We fell in love with eachother but the problem is that she had a daughter for another man. She's a single mum...should i tell my people about her daughter, because of the way our relationship is moving towards marriage... please I need the house to tell me the implications of hiding it from my people?

It seems you gone past the point of deciding if she is the one you'll like to spend the rest of your life with. However, I'll advice you to give a second thought to what people are telling you here. Indeed you may actually find more happiness there than with non-single mom. However, the people reading you the riot act also have a point, these relationships can get very complicated once you officially go in because there are more than two parties at the center. Stay safe, stay happy...

https://www.nairaland.com/5731810/husband-doesnt-want-son-come

ZINIBANKS:
So out of all the 65 million girls in Nigeria you no see any single one choose na after 1 abi
Your stupidity has full Jerry-can
You will open another thread again

This doesn't call for insult, I will Appreciate u make ur suggestion and leave. Simply.

AngryNigerian:
My take: don't tell them yet. They'll find out later and deal with it by then. For now, focus on blending well with her, her with your family and vice versa.

But...hope it's worth it oo. Good luck; don't mind the barrage of I'll comments you will get from people. I'm there with you on this one

its Alright, Believe me.... It has been difficult for me deciding because of d kind of family I come from.... I wouldn't like to hide tinz from my my ppl... But she's saying I shouldn't tell them now........

Resurgent2016:
It seems you gone past the point of deciding if she is the one you'll like to spend the rest of your life with. However, I'll advice you to give a second thought to what people are telling you here. Indeed you may actually find more happiness there than with non-single mom. However, the people reading you the riot act also have a point, these relationships can get very complicated once you officially go in because there are more than two parties at the center. Stay safe, stay happy...

https://www.nairaland.com/5731810/husband-doesnt-want-son-come

Thanks I will read it up...

Resurgent2016:
It seems you gone past the point of deciding if she is the one you'll like to spend the rest of your life with. However, I'll advice you to give a second thought to what people are telling you here. Indeed you may actually find more happiness there than with non-single mom. However, the people reading you the riot act also have a point, these relationships can get very complicated once you officially go in because there are more than two parties at the center. Stay safe, stay happy...

https://www.nairaland.com/5731810/husband-doesnt-want-son-come

I am just stumbling on this thread.

After reading through, my mind flashed back to the thread you just quoted.

Hmmm.

Acct2:
Thanks to All your comments, believe me I expected different advices from different angles. What matters is LOVE and RESPECT from both couples. Thanks

Tears loading... They dey warn u, u no Wan gree..


Tears

Acct2:
its Alright, Believe me.... It has been difficult for me deciding because of d kind of family I come from.... I wouldn't like to hide tinz from my my ppl... But she's saying I shouldn't tell them now........

U too hear ursef out.. Why doesn't she want u to tell ur people?


She is scared..

Single mom are lovely but their obsession and selfish for her own kids is too much.. Moreover the father of the kid will still be fvcking her anytime anyday

Graxie:
I love what I am reading from most men here, this is an eye opener for some foolish girls. You will open yourself for any man without condoms, after you will not even help yourself to take preventive pills, when you discover that you are pregnant, you will come online and meet the hypocrites that will tell you to keep the baby. Every day the same story, no plans, no future. The same religious fanatics that will preach against abortion are the same people that will condem you for being a single mom. For those still in the valley of decision, better read this thread and see Nigeria for what it is.

The best thing is to abstain from pre-marital sex.
It brings about regret.

ProfDview1:
U too hear ursef out.. Why doesn't she want u to tell ur people?


She is scared..

Single mom are lovely but their obsession and selfish for her own kids is too much.. Moreover the father of the kid will still be fvcking her anytime anyday

Even the lady knows the truth. That is why she doesn't want him to tell them now until it is late.
In any condition or situation you meet yourself and you are been told to keep it secret or not to tell anyone or your family who are going to reset your brain because at that moment you are kinda hypnotized, then you should know there is danger on the horizon.
Scammers, money doublers, Most single mums etc greatest mojo is Secrecy... Don't tell anyone about what we are doing, chatting or talking about until you go aground.
It is well

Acct2:
its Alright, Believe me.... It has been difficult for me deciding because of d kind of family I come from.... I wouldn't like to hide tinz from my my ppl... But she's saying I shouldn't tell them now........

I feel you my dear...you're strong! Just stick to her suggestion; my brother had same issue and he told my parents a week to the wedding! They frowned and raged for a few days, but they are happy now...she is the most loved female in the house now!

Acct2:
its Alright, Believe me.... It has been difficult for me deciding because of d kind of family I come from.... I wouldn't like to hide tinz from my my ppl... But she's saying I shouldn't tell them now........

Frankly, I do not see anything wrong with marrying a single mother - people should marry who they are compatible with. But her telling you to keep it a secret from your parents, the child's supposed step-grandparents, is very worrisome. To me her intentions are very selfish -she just wants to ensure she gets married. She does not care whether she causes a rift between you and your family or if the marriage is a happy one (because how can it be if her-in-laws opposes and hates her throughout it).

Whatever you do, make sure you inform your family that the woman you are marrying is a single mother. Even if they oppose you, you should be able to stand your ground and find ways to convince them. After all, you are a man going to establish your own household. You had better begin to practice manning up.

I see someone saying inform them after the marriage that they will forgive and forget - some may, some will hold it against you or most likely your wife forever.

cococandy:
Have told women repeatedly, don’t get involved with any man who doesn’t serve your interests. Many men are selfish.

The blatant hypocrisy should be the eye opener for y’all but for some reason, ladies still let themselves get emotionally manipulated.

Listen again. If a man is not serving your interests, don’t do it. He sure as hell won’t be with you if you’re not serving his. Don’t do anything for a man that you know when the table is turned, he wouldn’t do the same for you.

Wellsaid

Kennedyiheme02:
the fact she's a single mother means.. its either she has a bad attitude and the guy dumped her... as he has a terrible attitude she couldn't deal with.. the question is why would a woman date such a man... it only means shes a bad judge of character, and a careless person... in most cases her baby daddy will keep fckxing her though... he still remains in her life cos of his just.. either way you're screwed op if you get married to her

U got it all wrong, what if she was abandoned and the guy in question travelled her and remarried or a case of domestic violence, rape ... Don't judge people till u ar in their shoes. Circumstances changes a lot of things.

Kennedyiheme02:
A woman marrying a baby daddy isn't the same as a man marrying a baby mama..why do you women on nairaland believe men and women are the same.... men and women view suituations differently.. for example.. women drool over playboys with body counts as high as 500 lol... but a man sees a woman with that much body counts as slòőts ... women would die to marry a male IndecentStar but no man wants a female IndecentStar as a wife...


A single dad has his own house, takes care of his kid with his own money.. why should that bother you?..

But a single mom brings another mans kid into your house, you're obligated to spend on her kid.. why wouldn't i complain when its my resources?...

What if she is also loaded and has her own money?

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
Not when the biological father is still alive!

What if he is a dead beat father?

Billionsclub:
Speaking from someone's experience, don't ever marry a single mother. They will give you sex in any way that you want. But they will suck you and at the end ,u will regret what u entered into. She could be loyal at first,she will sweet-talk you. She will help you with house chores, support u but the end doesn't end well. Run for your destiny

It's not enough for u to conclude. Even a single dosnt determine happiness or faithfulness.its all about grace

Graxie:
I love what I am reading from most men here, this is an eye opener for some foolish girls. You will open yourself for any man without condoms, after you will not even help yourself to take preventive pills, when you discover that you are pregnant, you will come online and meet the hypocrites that will tell you to keep the baby. Every day the same story, no plans, no future. The same religious fanatics that will preach against abortion are the same people that will condem you for being a single mom. For those still in the valley of decision, better read this thread and see Nigeria for what it is.

You brought this straight from my heart ma'am. It's really disheartening reading those comments.

realtalk19:
What if he is a dead beat father?

I have nothing to say.

Happy sunday.

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
I have nothing to say.

Happy sunday.

Happy Palm Sunday to u

realtalk19:
What if she is also loaded and has her own money?

if she has her own money but is still moving into his house.. she still doesnt have a right to complain... but if he's living with her.. ofcos she has the right to say no

realtalk19:
U got it all wrong, what if she was abandoned and the guy in question travelled her and remarried or a case of domestic violence, rape ... Don't judge people till u ar in their shoes. Circumstances changes a lot of things.

you're right some cases are different but only a tiny few, i wouldn't bet my luck on that


... in most cases the single mom always sleeps witj the baby daddy..

realtalk19:
What if he is a dead beat father?

The biological Father is still Alive and married now.... but without kids for now..... According to my girl.

realtalk19:
It's not enough for u to conclude. Even a single dosnt determine happiness or faithfulness.its all about grace

We don't abuse grace. Single mother relationships are naturally more complicated than regular ones because you'll there are more than 2 parties involved. You'll have to deal with the child, may be the father also,may be the father's family and so on.

Many guys talking its all about love don't realise it's not just love that keeps a marriage going, it's also responsibility and maturity. Any man going into a single-mother marriage must carefully assess these factors and his ability to cope

Resurgent2016:
We don't abuse grace. Single mother relationships are naturally more complicated than regular ones because you'll there are more than 2 parties involved. You'll have to deal with the child, may be the father also,may be the father's family and so on.

Many guys talking its all about love don't realise it's not just love that keeps a marriage going, it's also responsibility and maturity. Any man going into a single-mother marriage must carefully assess these factors and his ability to cope

Well said

Acct2:
The biological Father is still Alive and married now.... but without kids for now..... According to my girl.

Wow

realtalk19:
What if she is also loaded and has her own money?

she's not loaded as you are thinking, though she has a job.

Omar09:
Well, women always talk about things that suit them and don't really care if another takes the colossal damage no matter how related they (women) are to the people/person taking the damage.

Let's go deep into child(ren) women bring into new marriages from the old one. The presence of the child(ren) in the new marriage does a lot in that marriage.
It deals with the Man (husband), wife (single mom) and the child(ren).

THE MAN: The man is the first to be affected, and he's affected badly that he sometimes is the person who carries out the maltreatment. The man's authority gets marred because he will not know how to treat the child(ren). He can not reprimand the child. He can not chastise the child(ren) in their wrong doings but he gets to support them. Just like a rich spoiled kids, he will have a hard time relating with them. Now when the man has his kids. Of course kids look up to older siblings and when the man's biological kids understand that their father's authority can be undermined especially by the elder ones, that child picks it up and there's no way a man can get his biological kids to order and leave out the other kid(s) from your wife. And if he tries to reprimand his step kid(s), his wife will come at him with the “YOU DO NOT GET TO TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT, YOU ARE NOT HIS FATHER”

THE WIFE (SINGLE MOM): They get involved in this little scam of theirs not much, but they will always have it in their head that their kid(s) could be abused or worse raped by their husband since he's not their biological father especially when it's a girl child. No peace within!

THE CHILD(REN): They get affected greatly especially when they are brainy and more successful than their step siblings. There will be hate between them. The father being aware his biological child may be a flop or not up to how successful like his other step kid(s) is, unconsciously he will start exhibiting hate towards that child and this will affect the gifted child psychologically.

WHEN WE REDPILLED MEN ADVICE OTHER MEN TO NOT GET INTO MARRIAGE WITH SINGLE MOTHERS, THIS IS WHAT WE WANT YOU TO AVOID! UNLESS YOU ARE MAN ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH THIS BULLSH.IT, I'D SUGGEST YOU REMAIN SPINELESS AND MARRY A SINGLE GIRL WITH LOW BODY COUNT.

Martinez39s
Emmaodet
Ubunja
Kennedyiheme02
Arthur21
Blu03

This is another angle to look at it.