₦airaland Forum

M00N:
Good Evening Nairalanders

I have a young friend of mine who has been masturbating since he was eleven years old and he is going to be twenty this year. His parents are divorced and he does not live with any of them.

We where talking today and he confided in me that he's been masturbating since he was eleven and that he has been struggling to stop out of guilt but he eventually stopped trying ever since he saw that it was almost impossible so he continued.

But I tried to encourage him to stop because I have been there. I started when I was in the university and struggled till 2018 when I eventually got more control. I realized that while I was still a chronic masturbator that I had almost no drive to succeed in anything which affected me a lot because I kept to my self, had no friends, felt guilty, weak and empty but my friend argued that he won't even bother trying because it was just impossible and doctors say it's healthy to masturbate, I argued that those doctors were lying and that it is not Scripturally okay but he also argued that were in the bible is it written? and I couldn't argue more cause I also relapse at times.

So please, that is why I have come here to ask for the advice on how to encourage him to keep on fighting against addiction and what bible verses can I quote for him?

stanliwise:
Don’t dogde the question.
Do you know how sperm count is done?

M00N:
I honestly didn't have any I could give him because I suffer relapses myself that is why am here.

hupo:
What is evil is evil, it is like asking where "Rapture" is written in the bible. Masturbation is a sexual act.
Sexuality should be exercise within the confines of marriage otherwise it is sinful.

There may be an exception, perhaps under medical condition(if necessary) for the unmarried

CalvinGaye:
Everything you wrote is Good but on that Soul verse, I'm like

Really??
Like seriously?
Emotional part of man

Inteltower:
remember the passage where Christ taught about
the issue of lust ?
even when there is no physical actions between
the male and female.
Christ pointed out clearly that lusting (to have
carnal knowledge with someone) is a sin. and this
sin triggers adultery, fornication, rape and sexual
harassment.
How Masturbation is a Sin ?
in the act of masturbation there is only one
stimulus needed which lust.
when a man is stroking himself he can not
ejaculate without having a picture on his mind of
who his fucking. lust triggers masturbation. you
can never masturbate without being heavily
influenced by lust.
it's our human nature for instant gratification we
cut corners rather than follow the Godly way
don't mix masturbation with wet dreams.
the former is a deliberate act while the latter is an
unconscious activity which sometimes is caused
by a build of your sexual hormones that want to be
released just like women in their periods.
they are cases that are natural
lusting is abnormal (fallen nature)
masturbation as a product of it is there for a sin
when one masturbates he is lusting
so to you is it sin or not ?
sin starts with a motive not the act itself

Aladdin1:
You suffer relapse yourself and you are here condemning masturbation.as if you are free from it.masturbation can be both good and evil.it all depends on how you use it. So since you are an adviser that is stil in bondage and have no solution for yourself.then i would advise you to continue masturbating.when you are ready to stop it.you would know and stop it naturally.

tonapuck:
I think that's totally different from someone that the primary aim is to satisfy is lustfulness... If you want to satisfy your lustfulness, you must have commit adultery in is mind before masturbating.

shineeye1:
A man asks whether masturbation is a sin only because he is long dead in sin and trespasses. Forget about your question, get back to life and that your question will disappear
By the way, that loss of peace and guilt that trails your mind while engaging in masturbation is your last line of soul defence. Once you cross it into feeling OK with it , you are gone!!!

Lordave:
People lie a lot just to see their fallacies on the homepage of Nairaland.

A friend of yours has been masturbating since he was 11 years old?

Why isn’t it you?
Why didn’t you help him create a Nairaland account and post this topic himself?

Is it because anything masturbation is pushed to the homepage so you guys now have a field day lying without shame just to have a useless topic on homepage?

Do you know that there are more than 50 topics advising against masturbation on Nairaland and your friend can simply get his answers from any of them?

Nairaland has become nauseating already.

membranus:
It is always difficult to stop the masturbation habit wilfully once you picked it up. It is addictive because of its affinity to the pleasure centre of the brain. The triggers for it are everywhere - porn, women's endowed parts.

It is called the sin of Onan (spilling of one's seeds for no purpose) by Biblical Scholars, for which God killed him - Gen. 38:9-10.

Large number of youths (as well as elders) are affected by it, no matter how hard they try to hide it.

It is ONLY by God's help that one can overcome it. Prayers and fasting, and salvation will surely help in defeating the habit. But one must be determined. Otherwise you can only continue to manage it until old age.

But the habit should be broken because it is spiritually destructive (it causes backwardness and failure, spiritual detachment, emotional depletion, depressive guilt, inferiority complex) and physically debilitating (it causes arthritis, weak hands and heart papiltation).

Cuntface:
You'll die a shameful death

stanliwise:
There is a difference between pornography and masturbation.

Ekaka1:
The link is one leads to the other...and that is lustful images or image-in- nation..imaginations...there's no rocket science here.
You start touching yourself willfully, you create erotic scenes or pictures you've seen and cherish before..not pornography lingers...I ve seen a few in my youthful, lustful sinful days then you cum...
Like someone said, it's a momentary temptation...your conscience kicks in and you feel drained, dirty, guilty and frustrated....if you ignore that initial feeling to repent and consciously put those thoughts away, the enemy will gain a foothold and you step on the over drive...that's when you hear people say, they masturbate, 2-3 times a day...at this point it's a struggle...like trying to stop a chain smoker ..got it?

Ekaka1:
Go back to his first few posts...he does not enjoy it anymore..he wasn't even gloating or feeling like he's completely out of it yet..and finally he did say with clarity that he needs HELP as well!!! what part of all these do you not understand..?

Cuntface:
I don't wanna preach anybody to him, you don't even know if I'm a Christian or Muslim. Everybody should respect people's beliefs and not make derogatory remarks about people's faith! He deserves that

Rgade:

The Bible saith, thou shalt self-service, if need be.
For he who wankest the most, evil shalt not see.

BlackShit:
So what are you doing now as a solution, fornicating?

And was that the 'cure' you suggested to him?


======

The Bible condemns uncleanness and impurities, which masturbation is, and other sexual sins also fall under.

Omar09:
He doesn't wanna respect our beliefs, allow him do whatever he feels he can. You don't have to join him ignore him.

judedwriter:
1 Thessalonians 5:23

The ONLY WAY to overcome masturbation and other sins is spiritual maturity.

You have to keep growing spiritually by feeding on God's Word, fasting and praying in tongues.

We all consists of spirit, soul and body. The body is sinful and craves sin. The spirit is holy and is in the semblance of God. The soul is the emotional part of man.

The more you feed the spirit with God's Word, the weaker the sinful body becomes with all its sinful cravings.

M00N:
Good Evening Nairalanders

I have a young friend of mine who has been masturbating since he was eleven years old and he is going to be twenty this year. His parents are divorced and he does not live with any of them.

We where talking today and he confided in me that he's been masturbating since he was eleven and that he has been struggling to stop out of guilt but he eventually stopped trying ever since he saw that it was almost impossible so he continued.

But I tried to encourage him to stop because I have been there. I started when I was in the university and struggled till 2018 when I eventually got more control. I realized that while I was still a chronic masturbator that I had almost no drive to succeed in anything which affected me a lot because I kept to my self, had no friends, felt guilty, weak and empty but my friend argued that he won't even bother trying because it was just impossible and doctors say it's healthy to masturbate, I argued that those doctors were lying and that it is not Scripturally okay but he also argued that were in the bible is it written? and I couldn't argue more cause I also relapse at times.

So please, that is why I have come here to ask for the advice on how to encourage him to keep on fighting against addiction and what bible verses can I quote for him?

CAPSLOCKED: WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY, WHEN EVEN JESUS _ _ _ _ _ IN HIS HANDS.

Cuntface:
You'll die a shameful death

Kingarthur21:
MuttleyLaff, budaatum, ihedinobi, maximus69, pleade call your brethens to order ,why should a christian curse rather than bless?

CAPSLOCKED:
HE'S EXHIBITING THE REAL CHRISTIAN NATURE. LIES, HATE, CURSES, EVIL, AND EVERYTHING UNPLEASANT. STARTING FROM THE BIBLE TO THE FORMATION OF CHRISTIANITY, IT WAS SO BLOODY FOR MANY.

WHAT WE HAVE TODAY IS PEOPLE PRACTICING THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION BUT ADDING A BIT OF THEIR EMPATHETIC HUMAN SIDE BECAUSE OF THEIR FEELINGS AND CONSCIENCE.

GENOCIDES, SLAVERY, FEMALE MUTILATION, WARS, INVASIONS, BURNING OF WITCHES AND UNBELIEVERS. THIS WAS CHRISTIANITY OF OLD. MOSTLY UNDER THE INSTRUCTIONS OF THE CHRISTIAN GOD.

SO WHEN THESE FOLKS THREATEN ME WITH HARM I'M NOT SURPRISED, BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST PRACTICING THE ORIGINAL FORM OF THEIR CHRISTIAN RELIGION.

TrueLifeStory:
Ramzi was very mad that he was scammed. In 2009, I also obtained another JAMB but I was denied admission at the University, and because of this and being the fact that I had N1.5M, I decided to travel out for my education, so I proceeded to meet an agent in their office and they gave me their packages for Ukraine, Russia and Poland, I chose Poland and I paid a total cash of 1.5M Naira and I was told my journey will July, 2010. Because of this my journey, I failed to obtained 2010 JAMB form. Time passed by, it was July 2010 when I supposed to be in Poland, I called the office of the Agent, I was told they had delay from the school that I should wait for October batch. October knocked and go, nothing, this made me to back to their and asked for refund and I was told to write a letter which I did immediately, I collected all my documents and was told I will be contacted regarding my money, so I left went to search online for schools abroad, I saw one school West London College in UK and I applied to that school, they gave conditional offer for admission, I travelled down to Lagos to register for IELTS as it is needed, I passed the IELTS and sent it to the school, what left was to pay my tuition fee which was around 4950 Pounds and it was equivalent to 1.4M Naira. I was waiting on this company to get my money refunded, until they issued a check of N598,000 out of 1.5M Naira. Since after the issuance of this check, I kept parading their office and they told me that the school has not refunded them, up till now, failed to pay my balance of N902,000 and the office is no more existing, I kept trying their Boss number but to no avail. This affected me that I failed to register for 2010 and 2011 JAMB. The N598,000 they paid was squandered on no record. In 2012, I was using blackberry phone, and I have made up my mind that I would never sit for JAMB again, so I decided to obtain FUTA Diploma form, I did the exam and passed, the fee was N100,000 but someone now advised me that instead of Diploma, I should try to do JAMB which I yielded to and I obtained the JAMB at the exact date the portal was to be shut down for registration. So, there was no centre again except a place in Kogi State known as Egbe, a day to the examination, one of my cousin used his bike to conveyed and I bought fuel in the bike, after the examination, on our way back home, the block of the bike broken, I asked him what should we do and he said he was not having any money on him and neither me had any money on me, but I told him, I wanted to sell my blackberry, and I don’t know if he would wait and I wanted to sell the phone then for 23k, so he said, I should give him the phone and I handed over the phone, the carton accessories and issue a receipt to him. Which means I did that 2012 JAMB with my blackberry phone and I told God that He should let use the JAMB for admission in that year. When the JAMB result was out, my score was 238, that was my highest score, and I registered for Post UME in of the University to study Computer Science, and I also passed the Post UME, I was very happy that so I could still gained admission after spending 6years seeking admission.
During this period, I have quit bombing Amazon and Alibaba, and all my accounts and email has been suspended and deactivated, so apologized to most of the people I contacted on Amazon to please forgive me, and a lady with the username funnygirl247 said, she has forgiven me a couple of minutes ago that she knew I will not be contented. So I advised them to always verify payments before shipping out any items, but I couldn’t get in touch with Ramzi and my client in USA. I have one Laptop Hp Pavilion Dv4 then in 2012, and when I gained admission at the University, I setup a Computer Centre, I was having 70k then, my business was fruitful and it helps so much financially. In 2013, I had a girlfriend and with the hope to marry her, though she has not gained admission at the university, she loves me so much. We were dating each other, and she was pregnant, so she asked what to do and I said I don’t know because I have vowed in my not abort any pregnancy. She said her Dad would be mad at her and even disown her, I told her, they can’t killed her and I asked maybe I should informed her mum but she said I should wait first, many time she will called me that she was vomiting, and I would have to go and checked her. On this faithful day, she came to my shop and presented a doctor report to me but I couldn’t understand because am not in medical line, so she said the doctor said we should come together. I had no option than to follow her to the hospital, the doctor said she missed abortion, and I was inquisitive what might led to that but the doctor said series of things can lead to it. The doctor said she would have to undergone surgery but she said she was scared, so we had to leave the hospital and we proceeded to one pharmacy, I explained to the pharmacist and she directed us to one doctor that he will do it perfectly. And during this period, I was not having much money with me, the doctor billed us but I pleaded and I transferred the money in my account to the doctor (around 10k), they carried out the surgery, after the surgery, I was allowed to see her, I saw her unconscious and bleeding, I wept and was scared because no one know were going to the hospital and I don’t want to spend my entire life in jail. When it was night, she regained her conscious and I had to get her milk, she called her mum and lied. On the following day, in the morning, we left the hospital for her house, she even lied to her mum that she was sick and I carried her to the hospital, and her mum thanked me. Few days after, I pleaded with her to tell me the truth what happened to the pregnancy, and she said she pitied my condition, that was why she used traditional medicine, and I was mad at her why she had to embarked on such deadly stuff, and before all this, she has done many things that made me not marry her, she add all my female friends on Facebook and accused them as husband snatcher, that she even did it to my younger girlfriend. Also, she asked one of cousin if my shop belongs to me or my elder brother, because my elder do help me to stay at the shop because of my school activities and this infuriated my brother to withdrawn from the shop without even telling me what transpired until when I got to know this mess. So, I started ignoring her and I told her, I cannot marry her due to all the lapses, so she started sending series of messages to me abusing me, thank God, later she got admission into a Polytechnic and I still do call her once so as to show care until I stopped calling her. In 2015, I met another lady, and I talked to her, we started dating each other, I love her so much and she never told me she was dating someone. Later, I got to know she was dating someone and I cannot quit my love again, I asked her but you never told you were dating someone else, she said she never knew what the person was doing. I tried to persuade her because I love her and she never told the ex to live but she said her attitude would tell him what to do. The guy met us several time in her room and he would walked away. We were carrying on and I started disturbing her for marriage but she always told me to be patient, she seems not serious and it is like she was playing pranks with me. Even the way she do receive calls and movements scared me but I was in deep love to the extent that if this girl forsake me, it would affect me mentally. I was enduring that she will change if am able to win her soul.
Back to school, I had carry-over in school, so it made me spilled for first semester and immediately I registered for the courses, when it was time for the examination, I missed one examination and I pleaded with the lecturer but to no avail, I had to re-register the course in the next session which made it Spillover II. In short, I spent 6years at the University after spending 6years seeking admission.
Back to marital life, let me named the girl as Rita, just as I have said, I love Rita so much and always tried to pleased her. I told someone about Rita and he told me it was because it was the girl I was dating, but I cannot date two girls at a time. So, I also told a female friend who now advised and said I shouldn’t be one that are supposed to married a wrong lady, so she linked me with her sister. I talked to her sister and she agreed, I visited her in Lagos and she also visited me. I now started dating the two of them together, let me named the second girl Lara. Lara love me so much that she do call me but Rita often calls me unlike Lara. Lara do help me financially but I never asked anything from Rita, instead I was the one given her everything. Lara said we should picked a date for introduction, but I told her, I was not buoyant and she cater for everything, so we did introduction. On that introduction day, Rita was in my house, so I decided not allow Lara to come into my house that day but the following day. Without even knowing someone has called Rita to informed that I was doing introduction with another lady. But when I met Lara, I told her about Rita and she said, I should discharged her to go but I insisted that, she has wasted my time and I always wanted to treat her fuckup. Though I promised to leave her after our introduction.
After the introduction, Lara went back to Lagos, and we started calling constantly, she asked me that we should picked a date for wedding but I was reluctant that we need to wait for a while, but she was not happy with me and I picked a date for the wedding. We made a budget and she said she will contribute 300k and I should contribute 500k which we agreed on. So we started preparing but I have not started telling people except her, and I even told her not to start telling people yet. Later, when it was like four months, I asked her to quit her job and come home, so that she can be assisting me in my office. She quit and came home. My mind was still with Rita but I was just trying to get rid off her my heart, I and Lara was living together and I said in my mind if it is God’s will she would be pregnant for me. During this period, I ventured into virtual football gambling, that I gambled with high stake, the money I kept for Wedding programme and other items were wasted on virtual gambling, and the loss started accumulating. Lara was advising me not gambled but I harden my heart and failed to listen. Within few months, I ran into debts of 500k which includes my money and customers money. I started regretting my deeds and Wedding is getting near, customers started chasing me here and there. I was like, when I was with Rita, things were okay unlike when I am with Lara. I went to a church and I was told Rita was okay compared to Lara, but others say Lara was okay compared to Rita. And in my own heart, I love Rita more than Lara. I now decided that I cannot get married to Lara but Rita, so I told Lara, we had to canceled the wedding and I cannot get married to her because we are not compatible but if peradventure she is pregnant for, it means it is the will of God that we should marry each other. Lara was very angry; I apologized to her and promised that I will refund all the money she has spent. On a faithful day, I and Lara went for a crusade, and the Apostle said it publicly to Lara, that the way she is pursuing is not her way, and this is our first time attending the crusade. Without much ado, Lara prepared her luggage and went back to Lagos but she tried so much for me because when I was suffering, she stood by me and she was even arrested by one of the people I was owing, she slept in a Cell because I was not around, but the following day, I went to the Police Station and they bailed her, so I was detained at the Cell but I didn’t slept at the Cell. After she left for Lagos, I do still call her and pray for her and also do apologized that It was not my fault but just to avoid evil that might arise later.
Later, I went back to Rita and apologized, but she was not happy, with much pleads, she agreed and promised to be faithful with me. Rita now changed totally and I told her everything that had happened to me, how my business collapsed and that I am into debt but I never disclosed the actual amount I was owing to her. It was during her period that my result was released which has been held by the lecturer for so long and it made me to missed about three batches of NYSC. I was mobilized for NYSC Batch B 2019, but I never stopped gambling because I don’t know to repay my debts. I lied to Rita that I want to do that Betting Business that it is profiting, she helped me last year December to secured LAPO of 100k and we will be repaying it every month at 16k for the period of 11 months. She helped me financially coming to the NYSC Camp during and after the Camp. I have apologized to the first lady I met and also to Lara and we are now friends but I am still wallowing in debts and now I have nothing, no clothe nor any food to eat. I have only be able to sent money once to Rita to cleared the 1st month for the LAPO loan, I am having two months outstanding which I believed she must have borrowed money to paid because those are useless that they don’t care anything, they will embarrass the person and the guarantor. Now, I have used my two months allawee to gamble all for the purpose that ‘e go better say make I get money clear my debts’. Rita is mad at me currently and even declared that she don’t need my money but I should just covered the debts. I cannot call her because I don’t have card and she didn’t called me again closed to a month except month end to ask for the LAPO money.
And the purpose while I still decided to play the virtual was to be able to balance LAPO and pay my previous outstanding debts so that I can have my allawee for me and Rita. I love Rita so much and I cannot afford to loose her because where would I start again and I am into serious debts. Do you think Rita can still consider me with all this situations? She hate gambling. What can I do at this detriment stage. I even had the taught that if it is possible that I can get a gang, if na to rub bank once, if I get 1M, all this debts is solved and I will still have enough money left.