₦airaland Forum

Ok, here goes. NL is a “venting platform” and I will explain why I allowed under-18s watch my R-Rated TV series with me during this lock-up-and-down “CORO-ERA”.

We are spending more time than EVER as a family and sometimes we want to be together in front of ONE TV.

The issues I have had are as follows:

1. I can’t keep chasing them out of my bedroom if they need to spend time with me. School is closed for the rest of the session and everyone is HOME most of the time for social isolation precautions.

2. All the really interesting and imaginative movies or TV series have some degree of violence, foul-lingo or nudity involved.

3. I interrogated them ALL and found out they knew about some, if not all kinds of age restricted scenes and language. In fact, some children have been suspended from their schools from time to time for “cursing”, “smoking”, “sexing” or “grabbing”! Yup!

I am not new to social isolation, since it has always been my lifestyle from the get go. However, the present times we live in have stretched those standards to the limit.

I got hooked on MONEY HEIST, OZARK and PERSON OF INTEREST and watched the entire series with the whole family. Boy! With mixed emotions I asked myself if I had gone too far.

At the end of the day, I felt better they were watching such themes with me than with their friends especially as all are above puberty and can practically be “parents” at this stage.

We share our feelings afterward and I try to ascertain if any emotional or psychological casualties have been created. They all seem fine, like I am really late in the game.

Let’s be real. These are children that have access to TV, social media, YouTube, phones and tablets. Not to mention exposure to other children from different backgrounds.

Are we deceiving ourselves? Where do we draw the line? Is is realistic to filter what our children watch on TV, or do we give them the options and educate them on the consequences . . . . Later?

What harm can be done if you do or don’t?

I think it's a great gesture from you. Chasing them away when watching such will only serve to alienate them from you emotionally. And then I'm ninety percent sure they've already been exposed to such.

Big ups.

That we think teenagers/kids are already knowledgeable about certain things does not mean parents should encourage access to age-restricted content.

TV shows and movies always come in ratings - FAM, PG, 11, PG-13, TV-14, 16, NC-17, R18, R-Rated, TV-MA, etc.. I think there might even be more in-between and far apart.
The point here is, there will always be something interesting, educative and fun, to watch together as a family which is not R18, R-Rated, or TV-MA.

That said, how anyone goes about raising their kids is really their business at the end of the day as long as they're not breaking any laws.
No one can really dictate for another what/what not to do with their children.

Kanwulia can write this good? I am shocked.

There is nothing wrong with watching movies when kids are around. If they are under the age of 16 (15 in my opinion) you can tell them to close their eyes when it comes to ‘those parts.’ In the UK children as young as 6 years old are allowed into R rated cinemas if escorted by 1 or both parents. On their own they are not allowed entry to watch the films. Another thing I’ve noticed is once the child watches a movie sans ‘those parts’ they get the gist of the flick and lose the interest to watch the film later only to see what they missed.

Lastly, ensure you have PG settings on for streaming platforms and media devices. This will ensure they can’t watch the movies without your presence. It’s a weak plan when it comes to controlling them because they can easily go to their friends homes with less restricting parents.

Almondjoy.

So something fit fear you for this life?

Mama always wants the best for her kids, even though sometimes they clearly don't know how to go about it.

Well, some kids started watching R-Rated films from childhood but still went ahead to turn out fine. Others only watched tales by moonlight till they turned 21. But by this age, their body count was pushing 100 from just 2 streets in the neighborhood.

But common sense and experience should tell us that it's safer to tactfully assist them to avoid as much R-Rated scenarios as possible. Your chances of growing old with peace of mind is on this one.

scoundrel:
Kanwulia can write this good? I am shocked.

Plus she looks quite prettier and "reserved" now.

I hope she doesn't give up that her bad b**ch persona.

Tinyemeka:
Plus she looks quite prettier and "reserved" now.

I hope she doesn't give up that her bad b**ch persona.

I found it annoying and stayed ashamed at her actions because she's too old to keep acting juvenile.

People can’t just focus on the topic.


At topic, I’d say it depends on the age of the child. All under 16 year old kids aren’t the same. An 8 year old is also under 16 and I’d definitely restrict more from such a kid versus a 14 year old.

At OP I think your discussion approach is more than reasonable. But personally, I have a thing against mindless/ sadistic violence in some kinds of movies. I’ll restrict my kid from such until they move out of my house . No discussions about it.

I have no problems with sexual scenes and nudity in movies (not talking about Indecency). We can watch and talk about it. The earlier the easier.

cococandy:
At topic, I’d say it depends on the age of the child. All under 16 year old kids aren’t the same. An 8 year old is also under 16 and I’d definitely restrict more from such a kid versus a 14 year old.

What this RN talking about,Must u comment?
Stick to posting food cos tis a bummer trying to chat shyte about things u have no clue about & embarrass yourself. When something is rated 16, it means it's for people above 16 not people under it. An 8 years old child should only be watching things rated family or pg, not even old enough for 13 rated.

What concerns 8 yrs and a 14 or 16 years old before

If we didn't have Netflix and all, how would we spend our time?

If they're high-schoolers (14 to 18 /as in 9 to 12 graders) ~ Okay. These kids know a lot more than you think. They grownnnn, lol.

If they're in junior high (11 to 13 /as in 6 to 8 graders) ~ I think you should've restricted them.

But irrespective of their age, talking to them after watching the movies with them was the way to go. Plus, they will always feel free to come talk to you about anything.

In my house it is Disney junior or nothing. I don't want my daughter to learn bad thing.
I watch my series in the middle of the night when I'm sure she's asleep.

scoundrel:
I found it annoying and stayed ashamed at her actions because she's too old to keep acting juvenile.

I guess she was just catching fun. More like expressing herself through an alter-ego.

crackkhaus:
That we think teenagers/kids are already knowledgeable about certain things does not mean parents should encourage access to age-restricted content.

TV shows and movies always come in ratings - FAM, PG, 11, PG-13, TV-14, 16, NC-17, R18, R-Rated, TV-MA, etc.. I think there might even be more in-between and far apart.
The point here is, there will always be something interesting, educative and fun, to watch together as a family which is not R18, R-Rated, or TV-MA.

That said, how anyone goes about raising their kids is really their business at the end of the day as long as they're not breaking any laws.
No one can really dictate for another what/what not to do with their children.

I disagree with this, how anyone raise their kids is not their business alone, it is everybody's business. A badly raised child will not allow a well raised child live peacely in the society, they become a menance to the society at large.
Example, if you are busy shielding your underage child from sex scenes while another parent is there exposing his own child to such, the latter's child will end up tricking your own child to school toilets and practice those things on them, it is a cycle.
Everyone should be encouraged to raise good kids.

At Op, parents may have known that some kids say age 13- 17 already know adult stuffs but rather than encourage them and make them see things like they are not bad, why not allow them be their age and watch series meant for their age while with you or while away from you?
It is your duty as a parent to guide them right.

Vyolet:
I disagree with this, how anyone raise their kids is not their business alone, it is everybody's business. A badly raised child will not allow a well raised child live peacely in the society, they become a menance to the society at large.
Example, if you are busy shielding your underage child from sex scenes while another parent is there exposing his own child to such, the latter's child will end up tricking your own child to school toilets and practice those things on them, it is a cycle.
Everyone should be encouraged to raise good kids.

Well you're looking at the bigger picture, I get it and it makes perfect sense...but then at the end of the day, you're probably still not gonna interfere/correct your neighbour regarding how he/she is raising their child.

The best you can do is raise yours the best way you want, ensure they don't keep company with your neighbour's kids, or if that'll be impossible as a result of socialization, then you must have raised your kids to tell you everything, EVERY SINGLE THING, no matter what it is, without fear of judgement.
This way, you'll always be aware when they start to mix with the wrong crowd.

When it comes down to the point, it's still anyone's business how they decide to raise their kids, even though we are aware that we live in an interconnected society.

Only in a country like North Korea where everything is controlled by Chairman Kim' government would every citizen be raising their children in the same exact way.

DanseMacabre:
I think it's a great gesture from you. Chasing them away when watching such will only serve to alienate them from you emotionally. And then I'm ninety percent sure they've already been exposed to such.

Big ups.

Thanks a lot. Your response very unequivocal and I appreciate it.
I have removed ALL restrictions from their profiles. It is virtually impossible for me to filter or screen ALL content at this stage. Now, I know they KNOW more than they understand as children. I can only keep educating and keeping watchful eyes.

Vyolet:
At Op, parents may have known that some kids say age 13- 17 already know adult stuffs but rather than encourage them and make them see things like they are not bad, why not allow them be their age and watch series meant for their age while with you or while away from you?
It is your duty as a parent to guide them right.

Not possible. They are quite skilled in manipulating parental controls of EVERYTHING they lay their hands on. I can’t leave with all that cat and mouse game. I can’t block them from YouTube. . . The worst of the worst.

Nuzo1:
Almondjoy.

So something fit fear you for this life?

Mama always wants the best for her kids, even though sometimes they clearly don't know how to go about it.

Well, some kids started watching R-Rated films from childhood but still went ahead to turn out fine. Others only watched tales by moonlight till they turned 21. But by this age, their body count was pushing 100 from just 2 streets in the neighborhood.

But common sense and experience should tell us that it's safer to tactfully assist them to avoid as much R-Rated scenarios as possible. Your chances of growing old with peace of mind is on this one.

Not scared, just concerned.
Tactfully assist them to avoid what kinds of contents?

Contents they have already seen with their friends in school?

Children that may already be sexually active with themselves and others?

This na America o! You go juss dey waste ya time!

Vyolet:
I disagree with this, how anyone raise their kids is not their business alone, it is everybody's business. A badly raised child will not allow a well raised child live peacely in the society, they become a menance to the society at large.
Example, if you are busy shielding your underage child from sex scenes while another parent is there exposing his own child to such, the latter's child will end up tricking your own child to school toilets and practice those things on them, it is a cycle.
Everyone should be encouraged to raise good kids.

I concur, may God help us

Tinyemeka:
Plus she looks quite prettier and "reserved" now.

I hope she doesn't give up that her bad b**ch persona.

I have been on NL since 2007.
You really expect me to carry on like I did over 10 years ago? Without provocation?

I sleep too well these days and really have other matters to deal with besides NL. I only get bitchyy when I feel the need to.

Let’s just say I am in a “resting-bytch-mode”!
I can never give that up.

And yup! I am getting sooooooo pretty in my old age I can’t stand it. Being reserved has made me “sexier” too!
Thanks o!

As you can see from this thread, I have to save my energy for my battles offline.

crackkhaus:
That we think teenagers/kids are already knowledgeable about certain things does not mean parents should encourage access to age-restricted content.

TV shows and movies always come in ratings - FAM, PG, 11, PG-13, TV-14, 16, NC-17, R18, R-Rated, TV-MA, etc.. I think there might even be more in-between and far apart.
The point here is, there will always be something interesting, educative and fun, to watch together as a family which is not R18, R-Rated, or TV-MA.

That said, how anyone goes about raising their kids is really their business at the end of the day as long as they're not breaking any laws.
No one can really dictate for another what/what not to do with their children.

I don’t know where you live sha.
Not many teenagers are amenable to Nigerian-Style discipline in any Western part of the world.
When you talk to Elementary school kids, you NEED to choose your words VERY CAREFULLY, not to talk of teenagers that have access to DRUGS, PORRN, SEX, ALCOHOL and name it in Middle Schools and HIGH Schools here.


Please, give me some examples of family oriented movies that won’t put us ALL to sleep in 10 seconds or LESS.

cococandy:
People can’t just focus on the topic.


At topic, I’d say it depends on the age of the child. All under 16 year old kids aren’t the same. An 8 year old is also under 16 and I’d definitely restrict more from such a kid versus a 14 year old.

At OP I think your discussion approach is more than reasonable. But personally, I have a thing against mindless/ sadistic violence in some kinds of movies. I’ll restrict my kid from such until they move out of my house . No discussions about it.

I have no problems with sexual scenes and nudity in movies (not talking about Indecency). We can watch and talk about it. The earlier the easier.

Thanks. I agree.
Senseless and sadistic violence I can’t stand.
Nudity is only a partial nuisance and can be ignored. PORRN? Youtube has all that for free!
Can you control that?

I have caught my kids many times CREATING NEW profiles or switching profiles on phones and tablets, pretending to be online-schooling. Meanwhile, THEY ARE YOUTUBE!

Disabling and enabling parental controls is a specialty in my home.

Hacking passwords on phones and computers nko?

Almost ALL their classmates have phones and gather in bathroom and video tape themselves naked! I have seen it ALL!

How many cases have I settled in principals’ offices? Change schools nko? Stop Bus rides nko?
All FAILED!

What next?

You wan beat TRUMP PIKINS dem?
Not ready for DFACS or POLICE cases o.
Lai lai!!!!

KanwuliaExtra:
Thanks. I agree.
Senseless and sadistic violence I can’t stand.
Nudity is only a partial nuisance and can be ignored. PORRN? Youtube has all that for free!
Can you control that?

I have caught my kids many times CREATING NEW profiles or switching profiles on phones and tablets, pretending to be online-schooling. Meanwhile, THEY ARE YOUTUBE!

Disabling and enabling parental controls is a specialty in my home.

Almost ALL their classmates have phones and gather in bathroom and video tape themselves naked! I have seen it ALL!

What next?

Kids

Well I won’t be consciously trying to stop them from being exposed to porrn forever. I realize that at a point in their lives, it will be an unrealistic venture .
I’ll just not deliberately watch porrn with them present. And I know this should go without saying but...

I felt I had to include that when I said I don’t mind nudity/sex scene in a movie because apparently some things have to said or you’ll have some people panic quoting you to express their moral and holy thoughts

aeion:
If they're high-schoolers (14 to 18 /as in 9 to 12 graders) ~ Okay. These kids know a lot more than you think. They grownnnn, lol.

If they're in junior high (11 to 13 /as in 6 to 8 graders) ~ I think you should've restricted them.

But irrespective of their age, talking to them after watching the movies with them was the way to go. Plus, they will always feel free to come talk to you about anything.

The bolded is what I most agree with. Thanks.
I want to maintain the lines of communication open, so to come to me if the want to. This is not shouting and beating matter o.

cococandy:
Kids

Well I won’t be consciously trying to stop them from being exposed to porrn forever. I realize that at a point in their lives, it will be an unrealistic venture .
I’ll just not deliberately watch porrn with them present. And I know this should go without saying but...

I felt I had to include that when I said I don’t mind nudity/sex scene in a movie because apparently some things have to said or you’ll have some people panic quoting you to express their moral and holy thoughts

Watch PORRN with kids ke?
To prove what kwa nu?
We are all adults here I assume.
Nudity offends some more than others.
Moral or holy thoughts indeed!

Let’s face it. A pervert will be a pervert.
We are all exposed to the same materials.
We will take what they like and discard the rest.

Any obsession with one material or content can be problematic to the psycho-social wellbeing.

Some are addicted to porrn or gun-totting content.

Some are born psycho-sexual deviants and cannot be helped.

I keep a watchful eye and my ears are to the ground always. I will intervene when I feel something is off. Hopefully, when it is not too late.

https://psiloveyou.xyz/why-im-relaxed-about-censoring-what-my-kids-watch-and-listen-to-150b63c04caa

I found this very useful.
Glad I looked online.

I’m a embarrassed to admit that I’ve largely given up on trying. I realise it’s defeatist, but where do you even begin with policing access to that?

My sentiments exactly!

I DON TAYAAAAAA!!!!!

To those of you who feel you have control over what your children listen to or watch. . . . YOU ARE DREAMING. Open your nose and smell reality! It is coming to a THEATER near your bedroom!

You will remember this thread when your own kids start showing you PEPPER!

Goodluck!

KanwuliaExtra:
I don’t know where you live sha.
Not many teenagers are amenable to Nigerian-Style discipline in any Western part of the world.
When you talk to Elementary school kids, you NEED to choose your words VERY CAREFULLY, not to talk of teenagers that have access to DRUGS, PORRN, SEX, ALCOHOL and name it in Middle Schools and HIGH Schools here.


Please, give me some examples of family oriented movies that won’t put us ALL to sleep in 10 seconds or LESS.

Teenagers these days have access to drugs, porn, sex, and alcohol, in most countries of the world...so where you live, where I live, or discipline, really has no bearing on the conversation you started, or on how children ought to have access to ONLY age-appropriate content.

It's simply NOT expected that a 13/14yr old should be watching an R18 or R-Rated movie anywhere in the world...this is the small part a parent/guardian gets to play.

Whether pre-teens/teens still have access to these vices in secret, is non-cognizant to the facts.

I could also argue that because teens are secretly using drugs and taking alcohol with their friends, then a liberal 21st century parent should stock the house with marijuana, or alcohol... and go on to have a superb bonding time getting high together with the entire family.

KanwuliaExtra:
Not possible. They are quite skilled in manipulating parental controls of EVERYTHING they lay their hands on. I can’t leave with all that cat and mouse game. I can’t block them from YouTube. . . The worst of the worst.

A teenager who wants to look at things they shouldn't be looking at, will always find a way to do it...but does this imply parents should now encourage it?

I guess the answer to this, is why I stated earlier that it's the parent's business at the end of the day.

KanwuliaExtra:
Please, give me some examples of family oriented movies that won’t put us ALL to sleep in 10 seconds or LESS.

There's a lot na...

1. Almost all Marvel Cinematic Universe movies & series are FAM/13 movies, with the exception of Deadpool and Venom for explicit violence.

2. Some DC comic movies & series are FAM/13 movies too - just check the ratings first, as these ones usually have darker themes.

3. Streaming services like Netflix have a whole lot of interesting/fascinating FAM movies...so does HULU, Amazon Prime, Apple TV+, etc...

There are movies like Jojo Rabbit, My Spy, Jumanji, Stranger things... In fact, I can't start listing movies one by one.

There is just too much fun & interesting family-oriented movies that you ALL won't sleep on, too much.
The series SEE on Apple TV+ is nice.

Absolutely no.

The training you gave them earlier would have made them not to disturb you in your room when u were having a "me alone time".

If it's small children of 2 to 5 yrs, it's understandable that they will wanna disturb you in your room as they always crave their parents attention but adolescents?

The children don't control you, u control them till they become adults.