₦airaland Forum

MOnkeyBabe:
Emeke why?

Renida:
I feel sorry if such is the scenario. People lose interest once their person of interest for so many reasons. One of this which I think is the case here is psychological posturing. What this means is some people are used to working extremely hard aka hustling for things. Their entire life rests on a perspective that what they must have, they must work for, unfortunately some of this whole way of thinking affects even not working aspects of their lives. So in relationships for example, this kinds want to toast toast, chase and beg the woman, but if it doesn't follow this narrative and the lady makes asking her out easy, it poses no challenge and isn't mentally tasking. This makes them see lesser value however good such a partner maybe.


I believe the narrative above is the scenarios playing out here. It happens with women also. When people in this category don't suffer for a thing, their brain tricks them to assume it's worth lesser. It's purely psychological

Renida:
Nah. Attraction and soul interest are two different issues. Anyone can be attracted to persons, but then your person of interest may not be available or may not want to be in a relationship for reasons like ethnicity, attraction is first, in loving relationships people develop an extensive list that's almost many times designed to keep them single, not help them find love, another mental imbalance issue in the psyche of a lovers interest


I'd rather be working on my combustion engines blueprint, factory manual review, conducting improvements in my engineering systems designs, unravelling nuclear chemistry complexities, thermodynamics and redesigning engineering modules for my future tech innovations, solving mysteries in quantum physics, writing scientific papers than let love exhaust me now. Love drains. I'd rather be willing to forfeit my ego and be chased at this moment.

James4bright:
It's just immaturity and nothing else.

I met a girl some weeks ago, starting wooing her immediately I saw her walking in her building, this girl made me talk for too long without saying anything back, but I could catch those little grins and smiles she tried to hide, I knew she liked me but was playing hard to get. Lastly she gave me her number but I didn't even think of calling. Am I mad ni? I hate pretentious and fake people.

frankkydee:
And u earned my respect












I don't totally agree to this your assumptions becos i think you are talking the other way round

lefulefu:
if its such then it could be sumpting in her character that made him to withdraw.there some girls a guy might be attracted to and when he finds out she flirts a lot thats enuf to make him withdraw.

tintingz:
Such guy just want to get into her pants or confused.

piamily:
Wow seriously ?

Even when I’m not attracted to him?
I dunno why it’s hard for me to grow feelings for him

boyjo:
And he noticed this "sumpting" within few days?

Youngpo413:
He is not your type daz all,we all have 'types'.As for me no matter how cute a lady is,if she has no bubbling butt,I won't look her twice talkless of saying hello...so you can imagine that 'type' falling in love with me....na express she dey go o!

PHOTSEE:
what you just did is not quit different form what op is talking about.
you acted on your hunting instincts and minutes validation by hiting on her, you approched her watching for approval detail, smiles ,grins etc she showed interested give her phone contact.
she is hooked replay the scene in her mind and hoping to hear form you, only for you to ghost.
lesson:you were only interest in showing your presence and at these stage, the ball lies at your court, if to take the relationship up or not.

Renida:
.

I didn't say Nigerian men. I simply wrote about some persons, male and female, humans in general. It's psychological immaturity. Don't let their immaturity lead you to form new unhealthy habits. If you like the person, keep them far, and watch them beg for your attention as they outgrow their mental posturing. For now, go for where you're worshipped, not where you're tolerated


As for me, I don't want a lady I have interest in making it hard, at my age, level of maturity, five minutes is what I want to bear chasing anyone. Nothing more. In fact, I rather be chased

Pattypatt:
Most of them are always like that, when you give them the slightest of attention, they start misbehaving and feeling on top of the world, but then I know how to factory reset their head when they start feeling too important.

eyizlive:
If I wasn't sure my gf isn't on NL (Na Snapchat person) I would have thought she was the OP. So why am I being an a**hole? When I approached her it was just game, and now that I see she has a big heart I don't think I'm the man she needs now. I've never been the emotional type. To send love messages every now and then gan Na wahala. So who has an answer to my problem?

PHOTSEE:
You mean big heart,she love you to fault, her heart contain love for more than 2 or more people. she is emotional too which is good for your ego.
the problem you having is the feeling not being good enough for her, inadequate and not man enough.
practice being physical presences, whenever you are around her, meaning
*paying attention to every little detail about her
* listen when she speaks
and watch her facial express
* focus on only her while working down the road
*flow with her heartbeat, purse and reflex action.
*bodygraud her
lol it will help you get in tone with her spoke,unspoke words.

eyizlive:
Wow! I go get problem following all this protocols o but thanks.. BTW how do u know all this?

Zoie:
The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

Renida:
Give him space


Flash your presence where he'll see you but maintain a distance


Act unusually happy viking to good move.


I give you three weeks, you'll be here to come say what transpired.


Absence grows desire. By promoting your presence and then retaking it, raises your value and satiates his soul with a desire to re-pursue


He'll come running like a dog on heat, so get yourself ready for the heated chase

Renida:
Allow me hard one thing to your life tips. The right man any lady should look out for is what we sages call :


" The man on the progressive path/pathway "


These are guys who at the immediate moment may look unpolished but breaking with ideas, many that seem somewhat unrealistic. These are guys that are constantly looking for how to improve on themselves and better thier lots


Guess what, when you'll meet them, you'll find 70-80% broke. But give them time, five to seven years. This is when to catch them on that upward trajectory so as to cement your grip and position as fruits of their exercises begins to hit maturation season.


A man with a self improvement consciousness will never miss success but maybe delayed, but would make excellent marriage partners as their push to better themselves continues to stir them towards improving everything around them.

Mftivi:
Lmao, you speak with such authority like you did a real research with a sufficient sample size. This has nothing to do with self esteem, a lady chasing after a guy would rather boost the guys self esteem but rejection hurts a poor self esteem further and a guy with very low self esteem would rather spend time with a girl who makes him feel accepted and loved.
Most women I have come across thinks that all men must accept their advances because they are women, they don't know how to handle rejection. Here you show a proof of that inability to accept that a guy can reject your advances because he simply has no interest in you, you rather bring up excuses that something is wrong with the guy to make yourself feel better.

lefulefu:
some men get attracted to a lady"s physical appearance and get close and during the closeness if they see her character is nothing to write home about they codedly withdraw.

Zoie:
The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

piamily:
Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

boyjo:
Make I just leave the argument like that.
Zoie come, you get bad character?

Renida:
I feel sorry if such is the scenario. People lose interest once their person of interest for so many reasons. One of this which I think is the case here is psychological posturing. What this means is some people are used to working extremely hard aka hustling for things. Their entire life rests on a perspective that what they must have, they must work for, unfortunately some of this whole way of thinking affects even not working aspects of their lives. So in relationships for example, this kinds want to toast toast, chase and beg the woman, but if it doesn't follow this narrative and the lady makes asking her out easy, it poses no challenge and isn't mentally tasking. This makes them see lesser value however good such a partner maybe.


I believe the narrative above is the scenarios playing out here. It happens with women also. When people in this category don't suffer for a thing, their brain tricks them to assume it's worth lesser. It's purely psychological

boyjo:
Girls who don't play hard to get, are not the prize.
Those who play hard to get, get wifed.

[bBelieve all these guys saying they don't like "hard to get ladies" at your own peril.[/b]

Danhumprey:
Don't generalise. Not every guy has the time and patience for "playing hard to get" or the usual claptrap of "thrill in the chase".

Liliantalks:
lol he might not be short in the department sha

I hv learnt a big lesson from life , let me share with you , when I was younger i had a lot of guys coming my way , but back then I was so ignorant on what I should look for in a man , now I am older I regret some guys I let go, guys I felt we’re too short , talks too much , swaggerless , aggressive , smoker , etc . Guys i liked were hoes , I dated some but i was little or no value to them , I was there till they met another. Funny enough all the guys I wrote off r in a relationship n doing very well in their relationships ,loving there women silly , well some remain idiots lol

look for efforts , money, care and attention, that’s what really matters. Get a list of what u want in a man , and check if this guy meets 75% of it , if he does , accept him. He can still turn out to be a fool after sex o, I can’t give u any assurance, men r wicked . But that’s a step to the right direction.

Chuky7:
You seem to have had a long list of criteria for men when young...swag. tall. muscular. funny. swag again.