"My Mother; My Demigod" A Poem By: Sammy Opeyemi - Literature - Nairaland
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| "My Mother; My Demigod" A Poem By: Sammy Opeyemi by IMSAMMY(op): 8:42pm On May 06, 2020 |
In the scratch of the day I woke up to see a shero I woke up in the hands of a demigod Nursing me like a pregnancy That cost a couple years to get Singing without a background beats Pampering me like a princess Luckily married by a poor man Weeping when I'm ill Should I even think of the nine months? When the deity nurtured me Despite the pains I caused her Should I even think of the meal-less nights? When I ate her food with mine My mother; My demigod If I get soaked by the rain My mother would rather blame the rain Which didn't stop for me to pass Which couldn't wait till I get home Instead of blaming my stupidity My mother; my demigod Apart from the creator Whose thoughts are always positive Towards the hominis My mother is the only being With positive thoughts about me She understood perfectly When I innocently bit her breast Oh! My demigod My prayer for you always Is long life and prosperity My mother; my demigod Your memory will remain indelible You are the god I can see My mother; My demigod I wish you could become immortal I am The Crying Pencil Weeping day and night Telling the Universe how I feel Do not throw me away And I will always write to you Whenever the need be I am The Crying Pencil Telling the Universe how I feel. •Written By: Sammy Opeyemi •Like & Follow "The Crying Pencil" on fb & Twitter Via: ✓fb.com/TheCryingPencil ✓Twitter.com/TheCryingPencil ✓Whatsapp: +2348138315352 ✓Email: TheCryingPencil@Gmail.com ©The Crying Pencil.
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| Re: "My Mother; My Demigod" A Poem By: Sammy Opeyemi by CXLVII: 8:51pm On May 06, 2020 |
Wow! This is lovely! |
| Re: "My Mother; My Demigod" A Poem By: Sammy Opeyemi by Aiyamrex(m): 10:06pm On May 06, 2020 |
Nice work amigo, I really like the imagery even though the use of cliches pinched the work. . . why not break it into shorter stanzas to prevent boring readers down. Inserting more rhetorical devices will spice up the piece. . . *show readers your mind rather than telling them literarily e.g ( if i get soaked by the rain ). . . Why not use a rhetorical phrase like (when the hit of the weeping clouds drowns my cloak) just an advice* even though there are many more, I dnt knw how you feel about the critique, but its a nice work once again! it touches my heart and build in my mind some images |
| Re: "My Mother; My Demigod" A Poem By: Sammy Opeyemi by IMSAMMY(op): 6:50am On May 07, 2020 |
CXLVII:Thank you |
| Re: "My Mother; My Demigod" A Poem By: Sammy Opeyemi by IMSAMMY(op): 6:51am On May 07, 2020 |
Aiyamrex:Thank you for the constructive criticism, I'll work on it. Once again, thanks. |