Hey guys so basically I’m 24 yo in my finals studying a discipline in engineering in a federal university of technology
Right from when I was a child my father has always been irritated by me he has never seems to see any good in me I’m his first son and he doesn’t even act like it... I’ve seen my friends father-son relationship and I can’t but envy them my father hardly talked to me about life or About growing up he never cared to know what I do or cared to know who I hang out with I made a lot of mistakes growing up from 15-22 I got enveloped on drugs I had a tattoo on my forearm which till today he has no idea I’m not proud of it I had it when I was 16 I’m getting a laser removal soon I made a lot of mistakes growing up Mistakes that would have been avoided if I had some type of guidance he keeps up with the payment of my school fees and allowance and other financial benefits but it’s not all about that you know I’ve never been 24 before I don’t know what to expect but he has some sort of experience but he doesn’t share He was always quick to punish me as a kid and by punishment I mean flogging me with a hanger or with broom or with a tree branch he’ll flog me till I lose my voice from crying it was horrible growing up that the best moments of my growing up was when I went to the hostel away from home now he can’t obviously beat me so he switched to verbal assault he insults me at every opportunity he gets he curses me says I’ll never amount to anything he says things like I’m a bastard mind you he has been verbally assaulting me since I was little he calls me bastard as a normal insult I try to act though like it doesn’t get to me like his words don’t mean anything but deep down in my heart I’m broken I battled and conquered drug addiction on my own I was lost in secondary school sucked dick and was sucked but no penetration I’m not proud of this but I did it I’m mind you I’m not homosexual I was just bicurious and really Hot back then all this mistakes I made I’ve overcome and still trying to overcome them on my own I just feel it would have been easier if my dad had some sort of love for me
I see the way he is with my other siblings the way he smiles and plays with them he never did such with me he distanced himself from me on purpose as if he wants me to make mistake and end up a failure which I know I won’t
I did tramadol, ref and Lynn for close to 3 years I OD’ED a couple of times I had to fight my way out by myself I’m a good kid I found myself making friends with boys who had lost their dads and living life the way they want so I lived like them but I managed to realize myself by myself and cut ties with them

Is there anyone else’s who has the same relationship with their father or is just me

Is it possible that I’m not his son? Cause if I wasn’t he wouldn’t spend money on my education
Note that’s all he cares about my education he doesn’t care if I wear rags or if I don’t cut my hair or if I look like a hippie all he cares about is that I have the required textbooks or handouts or material for my course

What about your mom?

Mstick:
What about your mom?

She’s late

Did she ever witness your dad calling you a bastard? If yes what was her response/reaction.

Mstick:
Did she ever witness your dad calling you a bastard? If yes what was her response/reaction.

OP Please answer this question..

Braintrain:
Hey guys so basically I’m 24 yo in my finals studying a discipline in engineering in a federal university of technology
Right from when I was a child my father has always been irritated by me he has never seems to see any good in me I’m his first son and he doesn’t even act like it... I’ve seen my friends father-son relationship and I can’t but envy them my father hardly talked to me about life or About growing up he never cared to know what I do or cared to know who I hang out with I made a lot of mistakes growing up from 15-22 I got enveloped on drugs I had a tattoo on my forearm which till today he has no idea I’m not proud of it I had it when I was 16 I’m getting a laser removal soon I made a lot of mistakes growing up Mistakes that would have been avoided if I had some type of guidance he keeps up with the payment of my school fees and allowance and other financial benefits but it’s not all about that you know I’ve never been 24 before I don’t know what to expect but he has some sort of experience but he doesn’t share He was always quick to punish me as a kid and by punishment I mean flogging me with a hanger or with broom or with a tree branch he’ll flog me till I lose my voice from crying it was horrible growing up that the best moments of my growing up was when I went to the hostel away from home now he can’t obviously beat me so he switched to verbal assault he insults me at every opportunity he gets he curses me says I’ll never amount to anything he says things like I’m a bastard mind you he has been verbally assaulting me since I was little he calls me bastard as a normal insult I try to act though like it doesn’t get to me like his words don’t mean anything but deep down in my heart I’m broken I battled and conquered drug addiction on my own I was lost in secondary school sucked dick and was sucked but no penetration I’m not proud of this but I did it I’m mind you I’m not homosexual I was just bicurious and really Hot back then all this mistakes I made I’ve overcome and still trying to overcome them on my own I just feel it would have been easier if my dad had some sort of love for me
I see the way he is with my other siblings the way he smiles and plays with them he never did such with me he distanced himself from me on purpose as if he wants me to make mistake and end up a failure which I know I won’t
I did tramadol, ref and Lynn for close to 3 years I OD’ED a couple of times I had to fight my way out by myself I’m a good kid I found myself making friends with boys who had lost their dads and living life the way they want so I lived like them but I managed to realize myself by myself and cut ties with them

Is there anyone else’s who has the same relationship with their father or is just me

Is it possible that I’m not his son? Cause if I wasn’t he wouldn’t spend money on my education
Note that’s all he cares about my education he doesn’t care if I wear rags or if I don’t cut my hair or if I look like a hippie all he cares about is that I have the required textbooks or handouts or material for my course

Damn bro! My dad is the best thing that ever happened to me in life.
LOL You "sucked" d!ck?!
Get away from him for now and spend time alone with yourself.

He might not be your biological father.Your mum took the secret with her to the grave.Sorry bro.

Mstick:
Did she ever witness your dad calling you a bastard? If yes what was her response/reaction.

Yes she did she told me he said it because he was angry

NockMedia:

Damn bro! My dad is the best thing that ever happened to me in life.
LOL You "sucked" d!ck?!
Get away from him for now and spend time alone with yourself.

I spend most of my days alone in my room by myself and yes I did I was curious I'm not a homosexual it's just things I did

Hmmmm...

You sounded like a very difficult kid too. Its not everyone whose father neglects that turn to drugs at 16, get tattoo or commit all the monstrosity you failed to mention. Who wouldn't further distance themselves from such people when there are other well grounded children to care for? Besides, if he didn't care, did you mom not care too? There are several kids raised by one of their parents but still turn out just fine! You father at least continued to be responsible for your education, housing, feeding...some people aren't that lucky.

Biko check yourself, work on yourself, better yourself and all will be attracted to you. Even you wouldn't want to be saddled with a difficult kid that is making a mockery of his education. Chai...you wrote this long epistle without a single punctuation!

By the way, yes he wasnt much of a good father to you as I strongly wish he had been more there for you, but I also wonder what your part was in pushing him away. It's too late for anyone to start raising you now so you need to raise yourself and see if you could still remedy the lost bond between you two if you so care.

No vex.

Braintrain:
She’s late

sorry about that.
what about her siblings?

sisisioge:
Hmmmm...

You sounded like a very difficult kid too. Its not everyone whose father neglects that turn to drugs at 16, get tattoo or commit all the monstrosity you failed to mention. Who wouldn't further distance themselves from such people when there are other well grounded children to care for? Besides, if he didn't care, did you mom not care too? There are several kids raised by one of their parents but still turn out just fine! You father at least continued to be responsible for your education, housing, feeding...some people aren't that lucky.

Biko check yourself, work on yourself, better yourself and all will be attracted to you. Even you wouldn't want to be saddled with a difficult kid that is making a mockery of his education. Chai...you wrote this long epistle without a single punctuation!

By the way, yes he wasnt much of a good father to you as I strongly wish he had been more there for you, but I also wonder what your part was in pushing him away. It's too late for anyone to start raising you now so you need to raise yourself and see if you could still remedy the lost bond between you two if you so care.

No vex.

I didn’t use any punctuation mark because I chose not to I was lost in words just typing and typing and pouring my heart out on my keyboard don’t play the blame game what’s in the past is in the past I need help.
And as for distancing yourself from your kid I hope and pray you have a kid who would get lost at some point then you can try distancing yourself and see how that’ll turn out for your kid

sanesta:
sorry about that.

what about her siblings?

Haven’t seen them in well
Over 18 years

Braintrain:


I didn’t use any punctuation mark because I chose not to I was lost in words just typing and typing and pouring my heart out on my keyboard don’t play the blame game what’s in the past is in the past I need help.
And as for distancing yourself from your kid I hope and pray you have a kid who would get lost at some point then you can try distancing yourself and see how that’ll turn out for your kid

Hmmmm...you're perfectly playing the blame game here. You had your mother dude...people with deadbeat or even dead fathers dont all turn bad with the excuse of being neglected by him. Again, you had your mother.

Anyways, now that you're an adult and the past is in the past, your best bet is to help yourself. How about that? Help yourself to be better then actively seek his friendship if you want it. Its that simple. Good luck.

Braintrain:
Haven’t seen them in well Over 18 years

has he ever call you bastard in presence of your mum ??
If yes, what was your mum reaction like ??

He doesn't just call you a bastard because he's is angry, I believe underneath all that there is a lot that has gone on between your mother and himself but that's by the way.

As someone who has Daddy issues, I will tell you to ignore, don't try to please him because obviously you can't, try not to be in the same space for too long with him.

Forgive yourself, you sucking dick or whatever should be in the past.

Braintrain:

Yes she did she told me he said it because he was angry

Dear poster, thank you for pouring out your heart. I would hug you if I could.
I love that you acknowledged your mistakes. I love that you know you are a good person, and want to do better. I believe that you are good too, from your post. I love that you know that it is a parent’s duty to care for their kids (our society has a way of twisting this).
I hope you felt your mother’s love while she was alive. I hope your siblings love you and vice versa.

You have to find a way and grow from this. I also don’t know exactly how, right now, but in the course of the day I hope to come up with something. I am rooting for you darling, you will be just fine . We are not our past if we keep growing in the right direction, everyday.

@ post- seeing/reading a young man of 24 yearning for love and reading the things that occupy his mind reinforces my personal belief that people in their twenties are still growing people. They have no business getting married. They still need some nurturing, and development (auto-development or given/taught development. Poor girl-child and the vultures that want to swoop in on her life at this age of discovery

op
sorry for the strain relationship with you dad.
I think your dad saw your earlier bad habits as a child and tried correcting with canes. Not that he does not care from the beginning, he did. For whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives. But if you be without chastisement, of which all are partakers, then are you illegitimate children, and not sons. (Heb12:7, The same is applicable to our earthly fathers.
However, perhaps your dad was/is angry because your behavior was appalling to associate you as his son. The is the cause of verbal abuse since he can't hit you again with objects.
Please op see from this angle, you're precious to him and he does not want you to turn bad and you can see that he pays your fees but can't advice again, he believes that you have chosen your path to be wayward.
Finally, thank God you have turned a new leaf. You can still warm yourself to his heart by continuing in this your new path. He observes and loves you. He do care!

Ask yourself,why won't he distance himself from you. Would you be friend with a person like you?

iupac120:
op
sorry for the strain relationship with you dad.
I think your dad saw your earlier bad habits as a child and tried correcting with canes. Not that he does not care from the beginning, he did. For whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives. But if you be without chastisement, of which all are partakers, then are you illegitimate children, and not sons. (Heb12:7, The same is applicable to our earthly fathers.
However, perhaps your dad was/is angry because your behavior was appalling to associate you as his son. The is the cause of verbal abuse since he can't hit you again with objects.
Please op see from this angle, you're precious to him and he does not want you to turn bad and you can see that he pays your fees but can't advice again, he believes that you have chosen your path to be wayward.
Finally, thank God you have turned a new leaf. You can still warm yourself to his heart by continuing in this your new path. He observes and loves you. He do care!

I know you mean well but, we don’t know the first bolded at all.
@the second bolded, we should be grateful because a parent or guardian does their duty? We also don’t know at all that the poster is precious to his father. Not from his post.
Actually what we have read is emotional cruelty at worst or helplessness/failure of a parent in dealing with a “bad” child at best. Either way, not a good look for the parent.
Which right thinking person calls a child a bastard? Even when they are that

Braintrain:
Hey guys so basically I’m 24 yo in my finals studying a discipline in engineering in a federal university of technology
Right from when I was a child my father has always been irritated by me he has never seems to see any good in me I’m his first son and he doesn’t even act like it... I’ve seen my friends father-son relationship and I can’t but envy them my father hardly talked to me about life or About growing up he never cared to know what I do or cared to know who I hang out with I made a lot of mistakes growing up from 15-22 I got enveloped on drugs I had a tattoo on my forearm which till today he has no idea I’m not proud of it I had it when I was 16 I’m getting a laser removal soon I made a lot of mistakes growing up Mistakes that would have been avoided if I had some type of guidance he keeps up with the payment of my school fees and allowance and other financial benefits but it’s not all about that you know I’ve never been 24 before I don’t know what to expect but he has some sort of experience but he doesn’t share He was always quick to punish me as a kid and by punishment I mean flogging me with a hanger or with broom or with a tree branch he’ll flog me till I lose my voice from crying it was horrible growing up that the best moments of my growing up was when I went to the hostel away from home now he can’t obviously beat me so he switched to verbal assault he insults me at every opportunity he gets he curses me says I’ll never amount to anything he says things like I’m a bastard mind you he has been verbally assaulting me since I was little he calls me bastard as a normal insult I try to act though like it doesn’t get to me like his words don’t mean anything but deep down in my heart I’m broken I battled and conquered drug addiction on my own I was lost in secondary school sucked dick and was sucked but no penetration I’m not proud of this but I did it I’m mind you I’m not homosexual I was just bicurious and really Hot back then all this mistakes I made I’ve overcome and still trying to overcome them on my own I just feel it would have been easier if my dad had some sort of love for me
I see the way he is with my other siblings the way he smiles and plays with them he never did such with me he distanced himself from me on purpose as if he wants me to make mistake and end up a failure which I know I won’t
I did tramadol, ref and Lynn for close to 3 years I OD’ED a couple of times I had to fight my way out by myself I’m a good kid I found myself making friends with boys who had lost their dads and living life the way they want so I lived like them but I managed to realize myself by myself and cut ties with them

Is there anyone else’s who has the same relationship with their father or is just me

Is it possible that I’m not his son? Cause if I wasn’t he wouldn’t spend money on my education
Note that’s all he cares about my education he doesn’t care if I wear rags or if I don’t cut my hair or if I look like a hippie all he cares about is that I have the required textbooks or handouts or material for my course

Keep doing d right things, when u become a father try very very hard not to be like ur father..communicate with ya children.

Braintrain:

I spend most of my days alone in my room by myself and yes I did I was curious I'm not a homosexual it's just things I did

Dude, you're technically a Repentant homosexual. I'm not trying to judge you though.







LOL rooster and bull story

NockMedia:

Dude, you're technically a Repentant homosexual. I'm not trying to judge you though.







LOL rooster and bull story

Lol, dont add to his problem

Braintrain:

I spend most of my days alone in my room by myself and yes I did I was curious I'm not a homosexual it's just things I did

I guess you're just being influenced from childhood/teenage, now you're already an adult & the bad habit is part of you. You need to stop seeing those bad friends of yours & stop them from seeing you also, look for a church around your neighbourhood and pour out all these to the man of God, tell him the way your dad has been treating you but he shouldn't confront him o, to avoid more tongle lashing from him. make the man of God your close friend and be prayerful. Cry to God in prayer, i'm sure he will save you. @op where is your location sef?

Is he your father? I believe you know the answer to that
Are there father's like yours? Yes!
Would you find such fathers easily? No!

Why does he treat you terribly?

The answer to your question lies in this


[quote author=Braintrain post=89483578] says I’ll never amount to anything



And this

quote author=Braintrain post=89483578]as if he wants me to make mistake and end up a failure


Put the two together and you have your answer, everything will make sense from then on!

Op why don't you talk to your Dad about it
Tell him how you feel... from your post you have not really been a good son.. apologize to him
He loves you and want the best for you "whom the father loves he chastised"

sanesta:
has he ever call you bastard in presence of your mum ??

If yes, what was your mum reaction like ??

Yes he did and she told me he was angry and shouldn’t let it get to me

merahki:
Dear poster, thank you for pouring out your heart. I would hug you if I could.
I love that you acknowledged your mistakes. I love that you know you are a good person, and want to do better. I believe that you are good too, from your post. I love that you know that it is a parent’s duty to care for their kids (our society has a way of twisting this).
I hope you felt your mother’s love while she was alive. I hope your siblings love you and vice versa.

You have to find a way and grow from this. I also don’t know exactly how, right now, but in the course of the day I hope to come up with something. I am rooting for you darling, you will be just fine . We are not our past if we keep growing in the right direction, everyday.

@ post- seeing/reading a young man of 24 yearning for love and reading the things that occupy his mind reinforces my personal belief that people in their twenties are still growing people. They have no business getting married. They still need some nurturing, and development (auto-development or given/taught development. Poor girl-child and the vultures that want to swoop in on her life at this age of discovery

Thank you very much

iupac120:
op
sorry for the strain relationship with you dad.
I think your dad saw your earlier bad habits as a child and tried correcting with canes. Not that he does not care from the beginning, he did. For whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives. But if you be without chastisement, of which all are partakers, then are you illegitimate children, and not sons. (Heb12:7, The same is applicable to our earthly fathers.
However, perhaps your dad was/is angry because your behavior was appalling to associate you as his son. The is the cause of verbal abuse since he can't hit you again with objects.
Please op see from this angle, you're precious to him and he does not want you to turn bad and you can see that he pays your fees but can't advice again, he believes that you have chosen your path to be wayward.
Finally, thank God you have turned a new leaf. You can still warm yourself to his heart by continuing in this your new path. He observes and loves you. He do care!

Thank you

merahki:


I know you mean well but, we don’t know the first bolded at all.
@the second bolded, we should be grateful because a parent or guardian does their duty? We also don’t know at all that the poster is precious to his father. Not from his post.
Actually what we have read is emotional cruelty at worst or helplessness/failure of a parent in dealing with a “bad” child at best. Either way, not a good look for the parent.
Which right thinking person calls a child a bastard? Even when they are that

I don’t know Why I try to act like it doesn’t get to me but it does

NockMedia:

Dude, you're technically a Repentant homosexual. I'm not trying to judge you though.







LOL rooster and bull story

No sir
I’m not a homosexual I was curious growing up and I was hella horrny

That means you are an away match