₦airaland Forum

Snaagg:
Like you are in yours!

Is that all you have? Remind me I am not married na. Hahahahaha. Brothers wey mumu!

pocohantas:
Is that all you have? Remind me I am not married na. Hahahahaha. Brothers wey mumu!

Eyah, e pain am Don't worry baba will pick up your call.

Hahahhahahahahahhahahahahha

Snaagg:
Eyah, e pain am Don't worry baba will pick up your call.

Hahahhahahahahahhahahahahha

Amen oooo!!!

Oh Stale! Shock me!

theAccountant:
Don't waste your energy not including his name, by the law of marriage, once you get married you lose the right to own property in your name. What this means is that, if there is a need for divorce the property will be treated as marital assets and split between the spouse. It doesn't matter whose name is on it. Goodluck

Who told you that, go to the nearest court in your area and attend when the judge is attending to family and marital issues
.
A woman has right to ownership of properties, assets that are jointly owned by them will be shared

pocohantas:
Amen oooo!!!

Oh Stale! Shock me!

Issorite o.

.. you just might find someone, even with those poverty-stricken meals you cook and post every day in the food section .. which is nothing but a desperate bid to advertise for a "horseband"

E go better

Snaagg:
Issorite o.

.. you just might find someone, even with those poverty-stricken meals you cook and post every day in the food section .. which is nothing but a desperate bid to advertise for a "horseband"

E go better

Amen again.

*yawns*

Chukspaul78:
Don't go and buy a land without ur husband's name written in the paper or documents make him the head in everything u do, I believe he's a very nice man that forgotten about his own future and family to that of his siblings get the land made him start investing on it.

What stops the man from buying the land himself, or buying for his wife ...


If she puts the husband name in the documents of the property, if the man died tomorrow the man's family will take over the property

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

ok noted

bukatyne:
Ok.

Do you want to solve the problem permanently and live in love, harmony and planning together

OR

Do you want to solve the problem with a temporary equally damaging measure and live with bitterness in your heart like a 'Nigerian wife?'

Does buying the land change the fact that his family is capitalizing on his sense of 'duty' to suck him dry and leaving you to pick up the bills you are currently complaining about?

The choice is yours ma'am.

but do u know that, if the husband die today in which I don't pray for such, if the wife include the name of the husband, the siblings of the husband will collect that land from the wife, I understand what the wife is trying to do, to secure her future and that of the children, u said something about tradition, ur immediate family should be the first in ur mind at all times not ur siblings.

TruthDefender:
Most people keep commenting : ' When he dies, you and the kids won't get anything from his family" etc or something to that effect .

I notice even misguided men without much life experience are echoing these sentiment.

Question : What makes y'all so sure the husband will die first ? Why not give your advice with an open mind ,one way or the other without mentioning his imminent death. You are not God. The female may end up dying first. What the happens to the man and his kids,that she claims he's neglecting.

Think outside the box while giving your opinions..

If the female dies first her children will own the house if it is in her name, but if it is in the husband's name the man will remarry and the new wife will be the madam of the house which the first wife built

stylishly tell him about buying land and building a house, pressure him a little about a cheap land you saw and want him to buy, am sure he will not show interest, all this is to cover your self from later fights in case he finds out in the nearest future. please go ahead and buy the land and put your name and your children name. start starching all your money away immediately he finds out telling him money is going to project. God made some people like that but God also gave him wisdom but he is not making use of it.

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

I know some people will feel the poster doesn't want her husband to help his siblings. From her post, the husband is assisting them to the detriment of his nuclear family.
How can he be in a rented apartment and be fending for people that have house of their own? This means he is not too buoyant or comfortable to be assisting them to the level poster is saying.
It is good to help ones sibling and friends but not to ones detriment.
I am not sure they also extend such help to him too when he is in need. Siblings are to help one another and not one way help. This also goes to friendship, if we can not help each other when in need, then we are not friends.
Poster, my prayer for you is that, God should give you wisdom to handle this without affecting your home. I will only say you should be wise, prayerful and talk to your husband with love on how to better the life of his nuclear family. Even if he remains adamant on helping his siblings, he should not forget to make a comfortable life for his children. Tomorrow is pregnant!

I pray his good deeds will not come back to haunt him with a cry of had i known.

But how can a normal human keep repeating one thing. Does your brain have a snaagg?


Don’t worry, I will remain e-single for you. You need to have something to come at me. Obviously that is the bazooka in your armoury.

How you were raised matters alot, its either you're wicked or you were never close to your siblings growing up. Most first daughters of the family always watches out for their younger one's both in prayers, financialy and various other ways to make sure they succeeds and its quite irresponsible to say you only care for yourself( if you don't care for your siblings would you care for others? No! Your parents? No! Wickedness!!).

As for the OP, if your husband is not taking care of his immediate family, then its bad! But I know most of the time, ladies prefers their husband focusing on their own family(her and her family) without assisting his own siblings not knowing what they went through growing up. Some families suffered alot with so much intimidation from the society, uncles and all, which creates a STRONG bond that would be HARD to separate. Your husband won't actually be fulfilled until a good number of his siblings succeeds.

Lesson 1: before you get married, investigate how your spouse was raised and how much he or she loves his/her family. Family love doesn't hide, you must see the signs before going into the marriage, its left for you to decide.

lesson 2: IF YOU GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE WITH 7 SIBLINGS(BOTH WIFE AND HUSBAND), DO NOT EXPECT ANY DIFFERENCE FROM WHAT OP HAS POSTED

Amanee:
Default setting ko factory setting ni

I'm a first born and I watch out for my damn self EVERYTIME

I will never abject myself to debt or penury for anyone in this world. The last time I checked we all came to this world alone and we'll exit alone. If I can help and it won't inconvenience me much, I will but anything outside that, everybody is on their own.

This op's husband and people like him needs to work on their psyche. Nobody will canonize you for giving up your life for family. The most they can do is remember you once in a while when you're gone and most times they act like entitled prigs when you're unable to cater to their whims.

You need to let us know the specifics. How much does your husband earn and how much does he spend on his siblings on average? you should try and get his statement of acct. You'll be shocked that what he spends on his siblings is insignificant compared to an addiction that is hidden from you. I may sound off point but you will remember this comment one day when the truth comes out

Eii but stupid people full this thread oo.

bolousadex:
You need to let us know the specifics. How much does your husband earn and how much does he spend on his siblings on average? you should try and get his statement of acct. You'll be shocked that what he spends on his siblings is insignificant compared to an addiction that is hidden from you. I may sound off point but you will remember this comment one day when the truth comes out

That is why she needs to make her own plans towards the security of the future of her children and herself

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

When you want to buy the land, get your family involve and put your name on it as Mrs.....

Just do that, if he ask why, tell him since he doesn't want to plan but to be taking care of his siblings, he has no plans to leave an inheritance to his immediate family

That you want your children to know that you left an inheritance for them, just stop there and don't argue with him

If he insist that it must be both of you names, tell him that you don't want his siblings to drag what you laboured for

If he refuses to cooperate with you, forget about him and move on

Reduce excess spending at home so that you can start foundations, even if its two bedroom boys quarter

Alternatively, you find your way to turn his face to you and your children, his family must have turned his face towards them that's why you are only seeing his back

Don't ask me how, you are a woman, find your way

Nonsense ❗❗

xrayj:
The bold is 100% correct!
From the title, I already knew what the thread was all about. Women are very funny, they forget a man has a root, before u met that man in a good state that made u love him, people moulded him. What they want is, once they come into a man's life, he should forget his root.
How will a man spend for his siblings & neglect his own kids? That's a lie! Op is just sad the man still care for his people, I am very sure there is nothing op would ask of him, that he wouldn't do. But seeing him care for his people, just make her sad. It's not peculiar to op alone, but all woman.

Yes, virtually all of them.
One of my late uncle (may God be pleased with his soul) had stroke before he died, you won't believe his wife of more than twenty years left.

zedegit:
How is it the reason?l

How do you explain that the mofo hasn't built a house but his younger siblings who

So the 2k stipend he's dashing them will hinder his progress? Will prevent him from building his own house?

crackland:
In 2020, Nigerian women still don't want to share bills equally...they'd rather behave like their primitive fore-mothers.
They ought to take a cue and learn from women who are civilized.

Times have changed but they'd rather remain cave women.

You're wrong bro. Women are ready to share. They just don't want to have to be saddled with the bulk of the responsibility while the man plays super-hero to outsiders when his immediate family suffers.

Anni3e:
I am not buying behind his back, I would tell him but I am not including his name. Do you know how many times I have told him to buy a land and start a project. He won't, he prefers spending all the money on his siblings.

Please dont do anything joint. God will bless your husband and he will buy his land. Dont play with your kids' inheritance.

I wont mention tribe but you know the way your husband's culture is. If anything happens the family will take everything. Dont try that joint nonsense.

zedegit:
How is it the reason?l

How do you explain that the mofo hasn't built a house but his younger siblings who

So the 2k stipend he's dashing them will hinder his progress? Will prevent him from building his own house?

Madam if na your family he dey always send money to you no go complain oo

pocohantas:
Amen again.

*yawns*

Pocohantas no go kill person.

TruthDefender:
Most people keep commenting : ' When he dies, you and the kids won't get anything from his family" etc or something to that effect .

I notice even misguided men without much life experience are echoing these sentiment.

Question : What makes y'all so sure the husband will die first ? Why not give your advice with an open mind ,one way or the other without mentioning his imminent death. You are not God. The female may end up dying first. What the happens to the man and his kids,that she claims he's neglecting.

Think outside the box while giving your opinions..

So in your mind, a woman who is already having property in her name, will put the husband as next of kin?

Liverpoolfc:
I hate this type of write up. Do you know where they were coming from? Do you know how far they have gone? You are complaining about first son of a family, if he do not take care of them, who will? My wife will not even dare tell me such a thing that my siblings are milking me dry, let them do.

Yes, very true. Your wife won't dare admit they are milking you but at least you will have the decency to provide for her and your children and kit give her #2000 for a week's feeding.

lastclaire4:
Pocohantas no go kill person.

Poco: Countries who rely heavily on tourism are suffering huge losses owing to Coronavirus.

Snaagg with the mental snagg: But you are not married. God will give you horseband.

woman do u want him to turn against his family,why are women so decietful,he married u into his family so who are u to detect d way he spends his money,bcus of this issue u dnt want to incude his name in d buyin of d land,if it were to b ur family his spendin on u want say a tin bt nw its vice versa u come here to exaggerate nd rants I pity men sha

[quote author=mojojay post=89724211][/quote]Good one. However he feels, inform him out if courtesy and go ahead with plans for you and your children's future. He would feel hurt but you are the one who will hurt in the long run if you don't do this now that the kids are young.

[quote author=pocohantas post=89728879]Don’t even allow these sons of Adam give you headache. Else you will turn to a talkative.

God himself asked them a simple question in the garden of Eden and they were talking another thing. Is it now you, a mere mortal, they will give-in to?


Maybe if the woman in garden of eden had listen to a "simple instruction" in d 1st place just maybe man for no need answer type C question with type A answer ... a command from there boss or pastor is neva a problem buh every instruction from husband/God must be challenged ... hian

STARGREEN:
"I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property."

This is obviously the reason for your lamentations.
Modified:
For those quoting me wrongly always bear in mind that family is blood however bad yours could be.
Helping family will never spot his progress unless he has no plan.

In spite of how you twist a wrong...it never make a right for Candle bears no cost Lighting Another.

What of his own fucking family that issued out of his loins and was crafted with the love of the woman he calls his wife? Dead brain commentator! �