₦airaland Forum

It is funny how someone come to this forum looking for help, and this same proclaimed helpers as turned this thread a place to bash others on meaningless argument. It is a shame indeed.
OP try and give your life a purpose, make a personal project and make sure you are working towards it. As for your relationship issue get a pen and a diary, and pen down things that happened to you everyday from the people you talk to, try and visualize the kind of relationship you want from your co-workers , neighbors and people that are close to you (do not have any much expectation) but work towards those goals and give them a big grin every time at least they will know you for your lovely smile.
Finally develop the habit of not quitting be quick to forgive especially your parents and people that hurts you, live life with freshness, take things slow and appreciate the little you have.
That's how to live my bro. You have no weakness, what you have are challenges you need to work to overcome.

ApostleAnarchy:
Good day people. I have really wanted to share my life-threatening weakness with someone but unfortunately, i have no one.. let me begin

We all have some imperfections/weaknesses, some might be physical disabilities, hair baldness, mental disabilities etc. It can come in any form as long as its something that you see and regret in yourself everyday you wake up. I am 20 and i discovered mine when i was 16.. On entering university, i discovered i couldn't really communicate with anyone in school and i detested public places, people hated me naturally and never came close to me.wherever i went, people talked silently about me.
Whenever i tried going against this weakness to try and kick off any conversation whatsoever, physical symptoms like; sweating, shaky limbs,loss of words, uncomfortability etc manifested.. After few weeks in the university, i lied to my parent that i hated my course and that i couldn't cope.. In summary; I dropped out just like that


After staying idle at home for years, i got a decent job which i really cherished, i worked for about a month there, trying my best to hide my weakness but on entering my second month of work there, things changed and my weakness made me quit.

Beginning of this year, i noticed that it has also began affecting my relationship with close relatives and most have begun moving away from me. They say i am immature and a snub. They don't want to have anything to do with me anymore. My parent is threatening that i need to leave his house very soon as i am now a man but my weakness makes me so weak..

I am not bad looking but due to this weakness, i have never had a girlfriend. I push all the girls that want to know me away with this weakness..

Parents Should not only give their kids food and put them in schools, they should also communicate deeply with them.
I was a victim of a broken home and i stay with my abusive father. As a child, i suffered from neglect because no one cared about me and now, its threatening my existence on Earth. Whenever i remember how lonely and empty i am, i weep cos i am not equipped to stay alife.

Please advice me because am tired. I have tried being social but my weakness always destroys everything. I feel hopeless

HIT THE GYM

Apostle anarchy
You call this a weakness but this is something that affects everyone , even more likely someone with your experiences. It is not life threatening only where you see yourself at its taken ng most of your thoughts therefore seems like the whole world to you.
It's something that might not go away in a day so u need to start working on it small by small everyday. Build yourself and give yourself tiny goals that you can achieve and try to achieve often. Reward yourself and give yourself positive thoughts. Don't think of what other people think cause that will load more stress on you.
Do you have this experience when you go places and meet people you won't see again? E.g on a bus
Do you have things you are interested in e.g sports or movies. Try to have conversations about these things with people online keep your mind occupied anyway you can . Remember This is something u will look at one day and smile to yourself

Baba I be like you before o.i swear I been think say people hate me and me self income like myself but Babai man up come dey live ko kan aye ( e no concern world) life ... Baba I live na there I come dey feel the love wey dey street and people come dey attach to me..baba try do wetin dey get be you joy if na music sing am if na football play am in anything baba do your part make e give you joy...baba no let anybody determine your happiness...me I don forget say people dey this world sef....I dey live freely....Bros suicide no be option.. thanks.... you for talk with me sa adyegodwin24@gmail.com....

Hi.
First of all, I salute your courage in baring out your problems. That is a necessary first step towards redemption.

You see, no one hates you. Absolutely nobody. It is all in your head. You feel people hate you and because you do, you subconsciously make them keep their distance from you.

Take responsibility for your life bro. It is the only one you've got to live. Ask yourself if this is how you want to live for the rest of your life, a fugitive even to your own self.

Initiate conversations with others, it might be hard but smile with them and try to surpress the panic that would follow.

We all have our devils, how we deal with them is all that makes the difference. Be strong man. You are more than you know. Discover you.

Don't kill yourself, get a girl friend.

how will you do that?

pick a pen and write in the paper this words


.....

Hello beautiful,I need your love and I love you, I want to know your mind......


go down the street and hand it over to the any girl you are crushing on. remember to add your phone number oooh. good luck

KingSatan:
My boy, your current predicament gives credence to this statement, "When the marriage fails, the children suffers".

I am so sorry you are going through all these. You have lost your self esteem due to the situation surrounding your birth and your father's attitudinal changes.

I believe he flogged and scolded you into introversion. He totally destroyed your self esteem.

If you were in Abuja, I would have refered you to my NGO. We help depressed people and others with mental challenges free of charge.

But I want to tell you something son, you are close to healing.

I have seen your case over a million times but for you to SPEAK UP, then you are close to healing. You only need follow up.

One thing that happens is that you cannot talk to anyone about your problems because those close to you are the major reason why you developed that problem.

Now that you have spoken up, i wish someone here could take it up as a responsibility to call you, while another visits you and rebuild that self confidence.

Don't give up son. You are close to winning the fight.

I love you.


"Addendum"

I challenge some people here to call this young man and encourage him just for humanity sake.

To you my son, if you don't mind, please drop your phone number (Temporary) and geographical location.

Someone close might visit you (Must be a public place for a start) and build a relationship with you.

You need all the help and support available now.

thanks a lot sir,. I'm inspired

cyndylove64:
My dear,try to do wat makes you happy.it is said a broken home & abusive father affect one self esteem# try to speak up #also get a job that will make u stay away from your father#if he don't see u everyday he can't hurt u#read novels,listen to music watch movies#above all keep your self happy# nobody can make u happy # always remember there is a bright light shinning for u

Reading your comment made me smile again after a long time. Thanks so much

cyndylove64:
Remember we love u here on nairaland# u have families on nairaland waiting for ur success story# people who are proud of u.I love u

God bless!!

Godlovesyou28:
Hello, you are really not alone in what you're going through; but the key here is the knowing that God loves you more than you will ever know and more than any human being could ever love you.

I grew up under almost similar but worse environment but got all my positive affirmation from God not anybody else; I almost dropped out from school too but I trusted God to the point that today I can't believe how far he has brought me to a place of complete independence.

People like you are usually very gifted but the devil strikes early in their lives to corrupt their foundation and plant his evil seeds in order to destroy your future.

Everyday is a battle and You can be equipped with the weapon to excel... Send me a message and I'll be out to give you the assistance you may need; many people at one time or the other have been beaten to the point of contemplating suicide but its the worse decision with very eternally grievous consequences. Stay strong... Help is on the way.

I feel so too even though I lack the strength to carry on. Thanks

Pathokpo:
My broda I understand your situation very well. I understand what it feels like not knowing what to say and even when you do not knowing how to say it. Thus, deciding to keep quiet but people around think you are just being a snub. I understand what feels like when everyone around you see you as being insane and starts avoiding you ( this act by odas gradually affects you mentally). I understand what it feels like when everyone around you turns out against you. I understand what it feels like not having someone to talk to because you think they would use your predicament against you. I understand what it feels like not fitting into any group. I understand what it feels like losing ones happiness and drifting into the highest state of depression (feeling like a walking corpse). I understand what it feels like feeling like an empty vessel and wishing for the cold hands of death to take one away. I understand what it feels like seeing oneself as the worst of creatures and regretting ones very existing . Anyone that has never been in this situation will never understand fully.

exactly! So how did you cope with it

Numero9:
You're weak!
Physically! Mentality, Spiritually.....ete
You're very weak!!!

Too much Indomie and Egg causes this!

Shut up.

ApostleAnarchy:
Reading your comment made me smile again after a long time. Thanks so much

you are welcome.always stay happy.I love u

cyndylove64:
Remember we love u here on nairaland# u have families on nairaland waiting for ur success story# people who are proud of u.I love u

see how my prik stand for this girl. I like ur courage. if the guy wise...he knows what to do...

zexy2030:
see how my prik stand for this girl. I like ur courage. if the guy wise...he knows what to do...

why must it be ur dick oga?

sorority11:
It is funny how someone come to this forum looking for help, and this same proclaimed helpers as turned this thread a place to bash others on meaningless argument. It is a shame indeed.
OP try and give your life a purpose, make a personal project and make sure you are working towards it. As for your relationship issue get a pen and a diary, and pen down things that happened to you everyday from the people you talk to, try and visualize the kind of relationship you want from your co-workers , neighbors and people that are close to you (do not have any much expectation) but work towards those goals and give them a big grin every time at least they will know you for your lovely smile.
Finally develop the habit of not quitting be quick to forgive especially your parents and people that hurts you, live life with freshness, take things slow and appreciate the little you have.
That's how to live my bro. You have no weakness, what you have are challenges you need to work to overcome.

send me message let me help u. But at least Cyndy is there. But let me mentor u. u only don't know why u act that way. If only u know u will feel better. U r just wallowing in self pity which is unhealthy for you.

cyndylove64:
why must it be ur dick oga?

u touch my blood stream which sent too much signals to my dick, if were near, I would have kissed ur lips off ur mouth.

MhisTahrah:
Shut up.

You're Extremely weak!!

Talk again!

Numero9:
You're Extremely weak!!


Talk again!

You're dull.

MhisTahrah:
You're dull.

It's you sef. I won't add to your problems.

Numero9:
It's you sef. I won't add to your problems.

Receive sense.

cyndylove64:
you are welcome.always stay happy.I love u

. Ok dear

MhisTahrah:
Receive sense.

You wey dey fight person moniker na em come get sense??!!

Small fish

MhisTahrah:
Receive sense.

I don't care what you're going or have gone through in life,I hate excuses. I don't accept excuses,never

ApostleAnarchy:
exactly! So how did you cope with it

I am still struggling with it. Although I am beginning to learn how to live with it.

I also suffer the same predicament...

Brother, I know how it feels believe me, you’ll pull through. You’re strong

Numero9:
You wey dey fight person moniker na em come get sense??!!

Small fish

I just wan correct you sey wetin you first post no make sense, go and sin no more.

MhisTahrah:
I just wan correct you sey wetin you first post no make sense, go and sin no more.

Now you talking sense (smiling).
But it took you quite sometime.

You're welcome.

ApostleAnarchy:
On entering university, i discovered i couldn't really communicate with anyone in school and i detested public places, people hated me naturally and never came close to me.wherever i went, people talked silently about me.

Social Anxiety!

ApostleAnarchy:
Whenever i tried going against this weakness to try and kick off any conversation whatsoever, physical symptoms like; sweating, shaky limbs,loss of words, uncomfortability etc manifested.. After few weeks in the university, i lied to my parent that i hated my course and that i couldn't cope.. In summary; I dropped out just like that

Social Anxiety coupled with Panic attacks!

ApostleAnarchy:
After staying idle at home for years, i got a decent job which i really cherished, i worked for about a month there, trying my best to hide my weakness but on entering my second month of work there, things changed and my weakness made me quit.

What you call weakness is a mental illness and is treatable. With the right treatment, you can in fact get to live a seemingly normal life.

ApostleAnarchy:
Beginning of this year, i noticed that it has also began affecting my relationship with close relatives and most have begun moving away from me. They say i am immature and a snub. They don't want to have anything to do with me anymore. My parent is threatening that i need to leave his house very soon as i am now a man but my weakness makes me so weak..

Like I said it is not a weakness, and you are not a snub. You are simply surrounded by people who are too full of themselves to see past their own noses.

ApostleAnarchy:
I am not bad looking but due to this weakness, i have never had a girlfriend. I push all the girls that want to know me away with this weakness..

It is not that you push them away. You have a brain that currently does not allow you to interact comfortably with other people in the environment outside of your head.

ApostleAnarchy:
Parents Should not only give their kids food and put them in schools, they should also communicate deeply with them.
I was a victim of a broken home and i stay with my abusive father. As a child, i suffered from neglect because no one cared about me and now, its threatening my existence on Earth. Whenever i remember how lonely and empty i am, i weep cos i am not equipped to stay alife.
Please advice me because am tired. I have tried being social but my weakness always destroys everything. I feel hopeless

Well, your upbringing explains the possible cause of your social anxiety and depression. You are not alone and it is nothing shameful to have a mental illness. Matter of fact, many people you meet have em, only they hide them. But the best of us admit to having them, get the necessary treatment, and go on to have more productive lives than the average person out there.
Try to find a good doctor somewhere who can help you get on treatment. I recommend anti-depressants like Paroxetine or even Venlafaxine (I recommend those). As for anti-seizure medication, I would recommend you ask for a good Benzodiazepine like Klonopin.

KingSatan:
If you were in Abuja, I would have refered you to my NGO. We help depressed people and others with mental challenges free of charge.
But I want to tell you something son, you are close to healing.

How does your NGO help? Can you help them get on treatment or something?

ApostleAnarchy:
Good day people. I have really wanted to share my life-threatening weakness with someone but unfortunately, i have no one.. let me begin

We all have some imperfections/weaknesses, some might be physical disabilities, hair baldness, mental disabilities etc. It can come in any form as long as its something that you see and regret in yourself everyday you wake up. I am 20 and i discovered mine when i was 16.. On entering university, i discovered i couldn't really communicate with anyone in school and i detested public places, people hated me naturally and never came close to me.wherever i went, people talked silently about me.
Whenever i tried going against this weakness to try and kick off any conversation whatsoever, physical symptoms like; sweating, shaky limbs,loss of words, uncomfortability etc manifested.. After few weeks in the university, i lied to my parent that i hated my course and that i couldn't cope.. In summary; I dropped out just like that


After staying idle at home for years, i got a decent job which i really cherished, i worked for about a month there, trying my best to hide my weakness but on entering my second month of work there, things changed and my weakness made me quit.

Beginning of this year, i noticed that it has also began affecting my relationship with close relatives and most have begun moving away from me. They say i am immature and a snub. They don't want to have anything to do with me anymore. My parent is threatening that i need to leave his house very soon as i am now a man but my weakness makes me so weak..

I am not bad looking but due to this weakness, i have never had a girlfriend. I push all the girls that want to know me away with this weakness..

Parents Should not only give their kids food and put them in schools, they should also communicate deeply with them.
I was a victim of a broken home and i stay with my abusive father. As a child, i suffered from neglect because no one cared about me and now, its threatening my existence on Earth. Whenever i remember how lonely and empty i am, i weep cos i am not equipped to stay alife.

Please advice me because am tired. I have tried being social but my weakness always destroys everything. I feel hopeless

Come on bro, I understand your fears. First, look for a male friend with similar interests, make friends for a while and open up to him about your insecurities. If you're a believer, pray to God and know that He loves you and He wants you out of that mess.... I'll pray for you tonight. Don't let my prayer waste o lol... peace!