₦airaland Forum

He might be good at fixing things, maybe electrical things discover his passion and build on it.

BlindedIrony:
Hello there!

I read what you put up, and I must say that this is quite a way of displacing your brother to the world. You must have had good intentions when you wrote this, but your article projects great dislike for your blood kin. That's awful. Now, to enlighten you:

Your brother is going through a mental phenomena that is completely normal. The phenomena is called learning difficulty. It could be due to lack of interest because of low levels of intrigue, or it could just be a biological predisposition. You may not agree with this because you keep projecting your standards on him, while neglecting the fact that people are unique in their own ways. There are literally millions of human beings around the world with learning difficulty. These are/were people who can't cram arithmetic formulae like you and regurgitate them to solve theoretical problems on papers. Notable examples include some billionaires you may know: Henry Ford, Steve Jobs, Richard Branson and so many others. Richard Branson alone had dyslexia. He failed standard tests. It got to a point when his principal told him that he will either end up in prison or be a millionaire. Guess what? He is one of the richest men alive today, and he still has learning difficulties!

What is my point? It is the absolute fact that people with learning disabilities are not morons or "dumb". Some are just not intrigued in a way that fascinates them at the same of your fascination in similar topics or subjects. History has shown us that the 1% of the world's population that controls more than 70% of the world's wealth are actually people who never did well in school. Cramming and regurgitating words and ideas in school don't make a successful man or woman in the real world out there. Instead, it creates another worker bee that adds value to billion-dollar companies, not society. The latter explains the reason why majority of Nigerian graduates CANNOT start up a venture successfully or even grow it to such a societal value level. You know, not everyone is good as cramming and regurgitating stuff like you. Someone may not be adept at it in school, but put them in practical aspects of life, and they will excel in the art of living beyond your wildest dreams. Or shall I say "theoretical dreams"?

You said your brother keeps to himself. Well, have you gotten to know what he likes? Or even the things that intrigue him? I really doubt it. It feels like you are watching from the outside; you judge and evaluate him using your own standards. He can never meet those standards. You already know that. It would be nice to go easy on him. Pressure makes kids withdraw. Get to know your brother. By that, I don't mean focusing on his "Dull qualities" as you call it. I mean really focus on his good side. Encourage him when you see him doing the things he likes to do. An example is when you see him playing a game of football with his friends or people, don't yell at him to go do his homework. Nay, don't do that. Instead, cheer for him, and ask how the game made him feel. After football and a shower, then a homework could happily follow (In which , you lend your almighty arithmetic brain in a creative way).

Let me elaborate more on cheering him during a sports game. A question like, "How did you feel when you scored a goal?" can create a connection that will open so many opportunities for you to positively influence the kid than the orders you bark. And yes, I know you bark orders because we all did too since we are older than our siblings . Everyone wants to be liked. If you or anyone else in the family is constantly reminding the kid of his limitations, how on earth is he supposed to stay motivated to learn? He won't even have the confidence to do that.

Listen, your brother reminds me of myself when I was a teen. I kept to myself when I was a teen. This is because I liked to think and I enjoyed reading novels. My teachers taught I would amount to nothing because I could not speak good English grammar. I could write very well though. I was the kind of kid that everyone laughs at in class. You know the kind that arithmetic people like you bully or give a nickname that stick for awhile. For some reasons, I could not understand mathematics (I had this difficulty from primary school to SS1). My father did not believe in me. He always remarked that school education was not meant for me. He would grumbled whenever he handed me my school fees. He even suggested sending me on an apprenticeship to one of his cousins to learn a trade. Of course, I refused. I told I would jump off Head Bridge in Onitsha if he did.

When I got to senior secondary school, I had a physics teacher that encouraged me despite my learning challenges. His name was Mr. Ken; this guy was born to teach. He not only taught, but inspired kids like me then to become a better version of themselves through public speaking, student social gatherings/debate, sports and even invited eastern Indians to talk to us about needlework knitting! It made a huge difference because at the end of the SS1 third term, I started to become fascinated by physics. I could not get all I wanted from Physics because i lacked the mathematical skills to understand its concepts. So, I had to enjoy mathematics in order to fully understand Physics theorems. By SS3, I became the 4th best student in Onitsha. This is because we took a state exam to select three Onitsha best students that will represent our city in a mathematics competition. I came 4th out of a few hundred students from many schools. I did not qualify, but boy- were my classmates and teacher so proud of me! I made so many friends as a result that even 9 years after High school graduation, I am still friends with a lot of them. The junior worshipped me. Here I am today- Mr. "Dullard", in the United States of America making top dollars while paying schools of some family members, building projects that are adding value to the residents of my native city and a few more that will benefit Nigeria in afew years.

It is not about the books, degrees or name of Federal university you go to. It is about having a conducive environment to follow your passion. If I had gone to "Boy" as the Igbos call apprenticeship- due to my lack of interest in school and formal education then, I would never have had a quarter of the success I have today. Today, I still have learning difficulties. Some Americans still think I am dull lol That's fine because they don't even know I am way more successful than them, although we have the same job position or they are above me in the corporate ladder. Cars, clothes and good grammar don't count just like cramming and regurgitating the crap majority of us are taught in schools. Your brother is a kid for Christ sake. The poor bastard is probably under immense pressure and confusion. So, better stop putting your brother down and you better start lifting him up!

wow
thanks a lot I really appreciate

He is not Dull, he has a mild autism - Pervasive Development Disorder. He need the Love and support of the entire family not insult. He need encouragements; you must take the task like your God-given ministry to assist him - don't angry or beat him. Handle him like your lovely friend, correct him when he makes mistake.
You should enroll him into a music class where he can be train to play piano or saxophone - swimming class is also great.
Finally, BEWARE OF SEXUAL ABUSE - the entire family MUST keep eye on him so the 'green snake' child predators won't take advantage of him.
I will encourage you and your parents to talk to the proprietor of PATRICK SPEECH AND LANGUAGE CENTRE, Ikeja, Lagos - the school may be a big help.
He will improve by GOD'S GRACE, my son is a perfect example.

So it hasn't occurred to you who claimed to have taught some students who were once dull and your parents that he has a learning disability? A child has learning disability, if you like put that child in lekki british intl school, if you don't recognize he has that learning disability, is just money down the drain.

That child needs tutors with specialty in kids with delayed advance and learning. Now i wonder if we have such people in Nigeria.

I pray your family can locate options available.

"He rarely talks, he loves to keep to himself always, he doesn’t have interest in anything unlike we the others that are die hard football fans, most times my mom will tell him to even go out to play and mingle he will not still want to go, he prefer to stay at home seating all day without reading or doing anything, even if it is to draw or play football he wont."

Check him for Autism.

You need the 7th hand

I know what his problem is and I know who can solve it. Drop your WhatsApp number let me add you so that we can talk.

This is not ordinary mouth o...tho it will cost you drop your number let's talk on Whatsapp.

Wat happened around his birth? He might have had severe birth asphyxia, kernicterus or cerebral palsy

Joyfulgal:
It sounds like autism. Does he interact freely? Is he aggressive when he can't express himself?
Any speech difficulties or disorder?

he doesn't interact freely

Take him to Omo Ibadan couching center. To be candid 71 look like 17.

Vello:
Has he always been like this?
From his kindergarten to nursery and primary school, has there been any time he did well in school?
I read all the comments and people diagnosing his condition as either one or the other but, best diagnosis must be by elimination of likely causal variables. I must also encourage you to take heart with some uninformed comments judging your family as wicked and uncaring. It's part of what you get when life challenges forced you to bring your private life to the open in search for help. Take heart but don't desist in getting needed help for your brother as I pray God will help you.
Question I asked above is not what I should expect you will answer without first consulting your parents and checking through his elementary academic records.
Lets start from there

he has always been like that

Gundel001:
he doesn't interact freely

I wan send you email but i hope you see dis
Try to watch the movie *like stars on earth* it about pipu like ur brother, u will understand and know wat to do
Holla if u got the message

galadimattt:
Where are you based? If I teach that your brother for one year and he doesn't improve eh!

Lagos

Gundel001:
Hi good day my fellow Nairalander please I will really need your experience about this issue. Please help me read to the end as it is a little bit long.

My junior brother is 14 years old and to be sincere I haven’t seen anybody as dull as him. I don’t know if it is natural but I just can’t understand why someone at that age could still be struggling with very simple arithmetic. My brother can’t write 1 – 150 correctly at 14.

He seems too dull; note he attends one of the best private school around our area, though I know you might say maybe education is not his way but even if you want to drop out from school you should know some basic things like money, time, multiplication and so on but my brother doesn’t know anything I must say, even to write his name correctly is a problem. It is making everyone unhappy lot of money is being spent on lesson teachers and other things for him still no improvement.

I am a student of one of the top federal University in Nigeria same as my other siblings even at both secondary and undergraduate level we were always above average so I can’t say his problem is genetic. I really wants to know what is the problem with him nairalanders. After I finished secondary school I once taught some pupils in primary school though there were dull ones too there but with time I could see improvement unlike my brother i always try to teach him from time to time but it kind of frustrating as he doesn’t even seems like he will ever grab anything and he doesn’t behave like he wants to learn anything.

He makes it seems as if he is not interested book or arithmetic at all …we all tried talking to him endless time to always read any time he his less busy but he never does except he is being forced.

He rarely talks, he loves to keep to himself always, he doesn’t have interest in anything unlike we the others that are die hard football fans, most times my mom will tell him to even go out to play and mingle he will not still want to go, he prefer to stay at home seating all day without reading or doing anything, even if it is to draw or play football he wont.

This matter is not making everyone happy at home we don’t even know the solution to his problem again, as in imagine having a child that is 14 years old that doesn’t know the difference between 17 and 71 it is just so bad…..

We don’t know if his case is mental or spiritual. please nairalanders I know there are child experts in the house or anybody who have experienced something like this before what do you think is the problem and possible solutions to the problem your contributions are welcome.

Please help me push this pleaseeeeee

your brother has autism, and you guys are just realizing it late. Please take it easy on him. See a therapist.

I agree with you. In addition please see an Indian film titled "Like Stars on Earth.quote author=Humanoid01 post=90070638]I have no idea what this is, but the part where you said he doesn't know the difference between 17 and 71 got me thinking about dyslexia or dyscalculia. From your narrative, the greater part of his problem points towards arithmetics, so it's more likely to be dyscalculia. It's also possible to have more than one learning disability, so chances are he's suffering from both.

People with learning disabilities are not necessarily dull (or unintelligent), it's just that the parts of their brains that are responsible for the performance of generally easy tasks which are difficult to them, are in a state of disorder. I'm a slow learner, but I don't consider myself dull, and that's because I believe every individual needs specific conditions to enable them learn effectively.

That boy may be even more intelligent than all of you. He needs to visit a psychologist or learning specialist who understands what it means to have an LD. Stop wasting money on lesson teachers.

I got the following from a website and it fits with some of the descriptions you made:
Dyscalculia

A specific learning disability that affects a person’s ability to
understand numbers and learn math facts. Individuals with
this type of LD may also have poor comprehension of math
symbols, may struggle with memorizing and organizing
numbers, have difficulty telling time, or have trouble with
counting. https://ldaamerica.org/types-of-learning-disabilities/[/quote]

This sounds a lot like dyslexia,

Vivuch:
your brother has autism, and you guys are just realizing it late. Please take it easy on him. See a therapist.

I don't think so,
I've met an autistic child that's extremely intelligent,
Most autistic kids don't speak u know...
Clearly this one does, so...

Annabelle122:
I don't think so,
I've met an autistic child that's extremely intelligent,
Most autistic kids don't speak u know...
Clearly this one does, so...

Early management of Autism produces great result, don't you see the family is yet to realise that their son has a problem. Everything he listed about the guy speaks of Autism, Imagine at 14 he can't differentiate between 71 and 17. This a serious development issue.

May be he is a miled autistic.. He need to be diagnosed and conduct other proper assessment to ascertain the very kind of learning disabilities he belong..you guys have to take easy with him and come down to his level mentally for learning to take place..what is his favourites ..food, TV programs or any other thing that can get his attention then they can be use as reinforcements.

Gundel001:
Hi good day my fellow Nairalander please I will really need your experience about this issue. Please help me read to the end as it is a little bit long.

My junior brother is 14 years old and to be sincere I haven’t seen anybody as dull as him. I don’t know if it is natural but I just can’t understand why someone at that age could still be struggling with very simple arithmetic. My brother can’t write 1 – 150 correctly at 14.

He seems too dull; note he attends one of the best private school around our area, though I know you might say maybe education is not his way but even if you want to drop out from school you should know some basic things like money, time, multiplication and so on but my brother doesn’t know anything I must say, even to write his name correctly is a problem. It is making everyone unhappy lot of money is being spent on lesson teachers and other things for him still no improvement.

I am a student of one of the top federal University in Nigeria same as my other siblings even at both secondary and undergraduate level we were always above average so I can’t say his problem is genetic. I really wants to know what is the problem with him nairalanders. After I finished secondary school I once taught some pupils in primary school though there were dull ones too there but with time I could see improvement unlike my brother i always try to teach him from time to time but it kind of frustrating as he doesn’t even seems like he will ever grab anything and he doesn’t behave like he wants to learn anything.

He makes it seems as if he is not interested book or arithmetic at all …we all tried talking to him endless time to always read any time he his less busy but he never does except he is being forced.

He rarely talks, he loves to keep to himself always, he doesn’t have interest in anything unlike we the others that are die hard football fans, most times my mom will tell him to even go out to play and mingle he will not still want to go, he prefer to stay at home seating all day without reading or doing anything, even if it is to draw or play football he wont.

This matter is not making everyone happy at home we don’t even know the solution to his problem again, as in imagine having a child that is 14 years old that doesn’t know the difference between 17 and 71 it is just so bad…..

We don’t know if his case is mental or spiritual. please nairalanders I know there are child experts in the house or anybody who have experienced something like this before what do you think is the problem and possible solutions to the problem your contributions are welcome.

Please help me push this pleaseeeeee

tcharrisson:
I don talk am, e Don happen. .. Make your mama come explain who the father of the child is..... We get matter to settle tomorrow morning.... ������

Why not shut up if you don't have something reasonable to contribute.

Onyi22:
It's from your Gene

Clap for yourself.....you made a fool of yourself.

He needs to be enrolled in a special needs school not a regular school.

Gundel001 I feel sorry for him that he isn't getting the required medical attention. As someone who has ADD(attention deficit disorder), I have at least a glint of what it feels to suffer from other learning disabilities that isn't ADD. From what you've said about your brother, I can pick up he has at least two learning disabilities. Dyscalculia and dyslexia come to mind. I suspect he maybe autistic as well. Dyscalculia affects him from doing basic arithmetic, dyslexia affects him in reading and writing and autism affects his social skills.

Pls your family and teachers should stop being hard on him, you all are only hurting him more and his going thru a lot right now knowing that nobody understands him; not even his own family that is supposed to be very supportive at this stage of his life. Believe me that boy is hurting. If he could open up to anyone of you, you would understand what I am talking about. But he won't, because he knows you all have been terrible in handling his case, he knows opening up to his family would be futile as all of you are ignorant of his condition and as such cannot be of any help. This is why he withdraws from all you so as to burden the weight of his differences himself. He's become his own best friend in a world where he isn't understood.

As for dumb, he's probably not. Remember some of the greatest minds, Einstein, Da vinci, Tesla etc had learning disabilities. I'm the smartest in my house. When I was in elementary school, I was at bottom of the class. I was taken to see the school psychologist and I was administered an IQ test which I scored very very high(177) then it came out that I had a learning disability.

I'm now in SS3 and I am topping my class despite the fact that I don't study + the fact that everything about school bores me. I just have to pay attention and everything from the lesson sticks like glue to my brain. My ADD has improved thanks to my parents and teachers and medical professionals who have been very supportive.

I'm sure your brother has areas where he shines, that is where you all should let him explore! Don't force him into a career that requires mathematics since he clearly has dyscalculia. Ask him about what's his interested in and you might be mind blown to learn that he isn't actually dumb, he just has some hurdles preventing him from using his brain to its fullest potential.

Seek medical help for your brother. That's the best thing you can do for him already.

Cheers

Gundel001:
àt first I was thinking maybe it is autism but people suffering from that are known to be smart which he his not

It's just 40% of autistic people that are said to be savants. The rest fall between average to below average. But we can't know whether he's smart or not without ascertaining the learning disabilities he has. Because he maybe as smart as the 40% but his learning disabilities might be impeding on his intelligence from fully manifesting

jahlid:
You have to take things easy with him because it's not his fault also. Few days ago i read about a story of a guy who has a junior sister also with similar issue. I can't remember what the condition his been called now. She was actually diagnosed at the hospital. She is 24 years old but has a reasoning capacity of a 8 year old kid. You may Google and find out more. Remember he's not happy the way he his also what he need is to feel loved at this moment.

Intellectual disability is what it is called

emmaitive:
spiritual problem..you people should be praying for him, there's noting God cannot do

No it's not spiritual. Not everything is spiritual for christsakes. These conditions have been researched and are still being researched. So should your child have an intellectual disability or a learning disability, you would think prayers would solve the problem? Answer this question honestly, have you heard about child born without limbs but after prayers, the child grew new limbs? Or twins born conjoined but after prayers they magically separated? This is becos such conditions require the help of a trained professional and in the OP's case, his brother needs medical attention not prayers.

Poster, please watch 'Like Stars on Earth" to understand what your brother is going through....

Pearlla:
He needs spiritual prayer

I hope you don't become a mum to a child as the OP's brother

K4daniel:
Ahhh autism ko leleyi o..(This is not autism)since he could still do simple task of moving about to sch, listening to teachers , having his bath, communicating with you guys and recognising all these simple activities make him a normal person just that he couldn't understand basic learning tips and mathematics be it in simple form.See in Africa, many glory and stars are taken at birth, reason you must be spiritual!.

Solution, Tell daddy to start laying hands on that his head and speaking life into it in the name of jesus the dry brain shall resurrect. Lastly, you and your parent sow a dangerous seed to God on his behalf and watch him improve.Goodluck.

I hope you don't become a dad to a child with special needs. I feel sorry for such a child. And by the way, you might want to read up on autism before making such inaccurate assertions about it.

Sadteen:
No it's not spiritual. Not everything is spiritual for christsakes. These conditions have been researched and are still being researched. So should your child have an intellectual disability or a learning disability, you would think prayers would solve the problem? Answer this question honestly, have you heard about child born without limbs but after prayers, the child grew new limbs? Or twins born conjoined but after prayers they magically separated? This is becos such conditions require the help of a trained professional and in the OP's case, his brother needs medical attention not prayers.

you know noting..there's no smoke without fire bros