₦airaland Forum

coputa:
It is not always like that,especially when the kids start coming,the step child is always at risk.some men even go to the extreme to rape their step daughter.

pocohantas:
Oh, I get you now. So, a man doesn’t owe his step kids financial support or rather, he shouldn’t be forced to do it. I quite agree with this. Would we also understand with women who say they don’t owe their step-kids support? Or do we call them wicked stepmothers?

While you have a strong point, we should also understand it is not this easy in the real world. I don’t think anyone would be happy being in a marriage with someone who draws the line in how they treat the step-kids. Not like it is compulsory to even re(marry).

pocohantas:
When you avoid Romangalactic, he will come for you more. When you face him, he will disappear and stick to throwing shades or quoting people who attack you. Typical Donstan18.

Mariangeles:
Nne dis nairaland ehn....o gworo mmadu ike maka Chukwu

cooooooks:
Being capable of producing spermatozoa is not all it takes to be a father.

pocohantas:
I won’t. I will just find one advanced bachelor and we would be partners for life. I can’t deal with all that “bring your kids, don’t bring your kids, mine comes first, I owe yours nothing”.

Abeg! I will just stay with my kids and seek companionship.

nkwuocha1:
Unfortunately,that's true.
But the step father may also not be willing to be a father as well.

nkwuocha1:
You know the drill!
Same here, infertile single lady.No problems.

cooooooks:
Good point.Put (re)marry to stress that it isn't compulsory to marry.

pocohantas:
There are hardly many trolls, it is the same persons reincarnating in multiple monikers.

Mariangeles:
Nne dis nairaland ehn....o gworo mmadu ike maka Chukwu

pocohantas:
But you want to marry your own na.



None is compulsory. Just stay on your own, rather than try to impose your “baggage” on an unwilling partner.

Mariangeles:
There's even one that calls himself saucekid who roams all over nairaland like an evil spirit, looking for Nigerian women to provoke.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Sis.The new husband or husband to be doesn't have a say here.

The matter is between the first husband and the wife and is gonna be possible if the woman can prove the irresponsible acts of the first husband substantially.

If not,the first husband might get the custody of the child.

coputa:
It is not always like that,especially when the kids start coming,the step child is always at risk.some men even go to the extreme to rape their step daughter.

nkwuocha1:
Limited say,read my post.
Why will a woman take care of the step kids finance?For what?If she doesn't want to,no problem.Its the responsibility of the father to take care of ALL his kids from different women.

It is not a man that goes into a woman's family.Its the other way round,and so she is expected to come take care of the home and NOT mandated to provide for her kids talk more step kids when the husband is alive.She can help,that's all.

If a woman should marry a man with stepkids already, make she respect her self and don't make their lives unbearable.Simple!

pocohantas:
Lol. This babe sef, she say na saucekid. Is it a coincidence that Saucecode was also bursted for being a gigolo and scammer?

pocohantas:
But you want to marry your own na.



None is compulsory. Just stay on your own, rather than try to impose your “baggage” on an unwilling partner.

cococandy:
Hopefully the people marrying make the right choices.

Father have raped their daughters too. I don’t think the risk is higher because it’s a step daughter. But that’s a ‘by the way’ issue.

coputa:
How do you make the right choice in getting married,it is difficult,because of the hidden "personal" interest of the parties involved.

cooooooks:
Your premise is faulty.

If the children are with her in her second marriage, you have to assume that the husband accepted them, at least at the onset of the marriage.

chaotik:
In my honest opinion which I think I have the right to .... There's a two side to a coin ... The former husband might be late or not ... If not late he may be irresponsible or responsible ... If responsible child support follows ... now if not for a struggling single mother I think it's only proper u help ... If not leave her alone !

pocohantas:
Oh, I get you now. So, a man doesn’t owe his step kids financial support or rather, he shouldn’t be forced to do it. I quite agree with this. Would we also understand with women who say they don’t owe their step-kids support? Or do we call them wicked stepmothers?

While you have a strong point, we should also understand it is not this easy in the real world. I don’t think anyone would be happy being in a marriage with someone who draws the line in how they treat the step-kids.

Not like it is compulsory to even re(marry).

pocohantas:
Of course I know it is based on circumstance, that is why I added “all things being equal”. If every other factor is in place, minors should be with their mothers. Most times I have seen men take kids, they dump them with an elderly female relative. Meaning they know women will do better with caregiving, so why take the child away from the mother (a woman too)? It is all spite.

In all this separation/divorce wahala, parents need to put aside their issues and understand the kids are the major victims. Whatever is best for the kids should be done.

As for remarrying, I no fit o. I no fit marry Nigerian man twice. Once it is on record that I have once been married, we move.

coputa:
Most men pretend to be responsible at the onset,because most women test the dept of the water before jumping into it,jealousy sometimes set in,especially when the step child is doing better than his own.

Justbehave:
You ended up saying nothing.

thesicilian:
Yeah, I've seen some cases like that. What would you do if you were the mother in such situation?

cococandy:
Finances is not bigger than emotional labor.


Limited say is same as what i interpreted in my response to you. You’re using too many word to make the points I’m highlighting in your own post.

bukatyne:
@bold:

True.

I personally think a man/woman who have decided to marry a partner with kids should fend financially and emotionally for them.

thesicilian:
For the bolded part, no one can really blame the woman. However this can be partially prevented if the children are well behaved and the woman herself is financially independent. For example by sending the children to boarding school, etc. At least one thing is sure: there's a level to which someone can mistreat you if you don't rely on them for money

chaotik:
U dey call urself justbehave but u dey misbehave eureka