₦airaland Forum

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

Guy. @op.

You are just too weak for my liking.
1, let her have the children. If I am you hmmmmm. I can go all out out to defend myself once I know am innocent.
See. Time teaches all of us a lesson.
If am in your shoes, though I wouldn't wanna be. I will not call her again. As long as she is away.
I will change all the keys to that house.
I will stop sending her even if its 1kobo. Since she decided to move out and hide her location.
See, women are alwasy good at this they play card no 1, watch ur reactions and play card 2, 3, 4 and so on.
Bone her for now and dont even feel bothered. You can do it.

2. Shun her mothers words and actions. its your mistake from the first time. Which is letting her come live with you guys.

3. There has to be rules and guidelines for the house if she is going to come back.
See, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. They say when the birds have decided to fly without perching. We the hunters will learn to shoot without aiming.
The rules should include.
-Her mother can come visiting, but will not stay more than 2weeks
-sex now has to be scheduled or timed or you should be the one to initiate divorce. The sex should be at least twice weekly
-no abusive words from mum inlaw or your wife again. As long as they are under your roof. Also you
-the next time she leaves the house without your notice and not disclosing her whereabouts, that day the marriage ends. As you will file for divorce.
Cos i have noticed. Women use that which you cherish the most to threaten you cos they know you are scared to lose it.
Thats why she is always using divorce or your children. Cos she feels you are scared.
Please add as much stringent rules as u can.

Some black women are like the devil. His name in igbo is "ekwensu" meaning "ikwe ya esu" translation "if you agree, it starts".
What ever a woman does, once you let that one slide, its has started. More will come. Am just soo pained watch or hearing this from my fellow man.
Nope. I wont take it.
Please emphasize on that sex part well for her. And let her know it just has to be by the rules above.
Infact stop being scared of divorce cos thats what her mum keeps telling her to use or maybe ur kids.
If she wants to go, let her go. Let her go.
Whats all this. You weren't physical or abusive and then the cheating issue is just on mere accusations jeez

Cos the way your marriage is going, if you dont get strong and tough, you will end up being turned into a simp or a sis, or a vegetable husband who has an alpha wife, or they will push you till you die or commit suicide.

Sit up father of the house,
Sit up my fellow man,
Sit up papa mmadu,
You are the man,
You are the head of that house lead that house. Dont let any mother inlaw or wife chnage this.

Finally if she decides to chnage. In all aspects
You can soft pedal on the above listed conditions.

Thanks

Please report to the police or call your family members to resolve it.

Hmmm... This matter serious o. I used to wonder if female children from toxic or pained single mothers would ever love their husbands. Their mothers seem to have poisoned their minds about men from infant

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

When they were telling you guys run away from girls from single parents you will not agree.

They will behave like their mother in the future.
The mum wants her to be a single patent and join her in the olosho business.

Justdogood:
Guy. @op.

You are just too weak for my liking.
1, let her have the children. If I am you hmmmmm. I can go all out out to defend myself once I know am innocent.
See. Time teaches all of us a lesson.
If am in your shoes, though I wouldn't wanna be. I will not call her again. As long as she is away.
I will change all the keys to that house.
I will stop sending her even if its 1kobo. Since she decided to move out and hide her location.
See, women are alwasy good at this they play card no 1, watch ur reactions and play card 2, 3, 4 and so on.
Bone her for now and dont even feel bothered. You can do it.

2. Shun her mothers words and actions. its your mistake from the first time. Which is letting her come live with you guys.

3. There has to be rules and guidelines for the house if she is going to come back.
See, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. They say when the birds have decided to fly without perching. We the hunters will learn to shoot without aiming.
The rules should include.
-Her mother can come visiting, but will not stay more than 2weeks
-sex now has to be scheduled or timed or you should be the one to initiate divorce. The sex should be at least twice weekly
-no abusive words from mum inlaw or your wife again. As long as they are under your roof. Also you
-the next time she leaves the house without your notice and not disclosing her whereabouts, that day the marriage ends. As you will file for divorce.
Cos i have noticed. Women use that which you cherish the most to threaten you cos they know you are scared to lose it.
Thats why she is always using divorce or your children. Cos she feels you are scared.
Please add as much stringent rules as u can.

Some black women are like the devil. His name in igbo is "ekwensu" meaning "ikwe ya esu" translation "if you agree, it starts".
What ever a woman does, once you let that one slide, its has started. More will come. Am just soo pained watch or hearing this from my fellow man.
Nope. I wont take it.
Please emphasize on that sex part well for her. And let her know it just has to be by the rules above.
Infact stop being scared of divorce cos thats what her mum keeps telling her to use or maybe ur kids.
If she wants to go, let her go. Let her go.
Whats all this. You weren't physical or abusive and then the cheating issue is just on mere accusations jeez

Cos the way your marriage is going, if you dont get strong and tough, you will end up being turned into a simp or a sis, or a vegetable husband who has an alpha wife, or they will push you till you die or commit suicide.

Sit up father of the house,
Sit up my fellow man,
Sit up papa mmadu,
You are the man,
You are the head of that house lead that house. Dont let any mother inlaw or wife chnage this.

Finally if she decides to chnage. In all aspects
You can soft pedal on the above listed conditions.

Thanks

Wisdom 101, God bless you .
THE MAIN THING HERE IS DON'T LOSE YOURSELF.
I will add a little to your comment bro
Don't call her again , As she left, she should go forever .
Open accounts for your kids and save some money for them for the future .
Majority of women nowadays are evil .
Don't be a victim of the weak men the society trying to build.

Iamundisputed:
Please report to the police as a first step. I hope you and your wife settle and reunite, but it's important that you inform the police & write a statement, just in case.

Also, I don't think your wife packed out because you were only playing or flirting with a woman, she probably must have caught you cheating, don't tell lies please.

Women usually change their attitude towards sex after birth cos of: 1. Personal insecurity because the vagina may not be as tight as it was. 2. Postpartum depression. 3.other psychological issues. This is where your emotional intelligence as a man comes into play. You need to have an understanding of her mood and help her want sex again.

Find a way to win her heart back, if possible, have your people call her people.
I wish u a happy home.

This isn't an intelligent assessment.

You don't assume this man is cheating and then accuse him by telling him to stop lying. You don't know him. And you DON'T assume that the reasons YOU THINK the woman is reacting that way is the ACTUAL reason she's behaving that way.

Advice based on what he has told you.

Another thing: her mum shouldn't be allowed to live with them as her presence is causing disharmony and division to her daughter's marriage. She has no right to rain curses on her son in law as she's adding more fuel to the fire instead of quenching it. I don't want to assume bit I perceive her mother is behind her moving out of the house.

single mother stylishly turning his daughter to become a single mother, my guy you need to pray, pray and pray and visit a professional marriage counselor with your wife after the matter has being settled but for now report to the police start from there......

I wish some single mothers will borrow some sense. The single mother had through her lack of intelligence driven away her husband or suitors who would have got married to her and now she transferred that foolishness to her daughter's home in order to destroy it, instead of her to advise the young couple to sit down and communicate with each other to solve their problems which are not too weighty to be resolved.
This single mother scenerio played out in the marriage of a friend of mine. The single mother came to stay with the friend and his wife, the single lady's daughter and turned out to be a thorn in the flesh of the guy who was having financial challenges then and was depending on his wife who had a good job. It got to the extent that if the guy drives out with the family car and comes back home, that the mean mother inlaw will resort to scolding him that he should not touch the car again as it was her daughter who owned it.
The above maltreatment of the friend was supported by his wife who was also treating the guy with disrespect based on her mother's advise.
As fate would have it, the guy's sister who lived in the US visited and witnessed the bad treatment been given her brother by his wife and mother inlaw and decided to file papers for the friend to relocate to the US.
Today, the friend is doing well in the States and has picked three of his kids to live with him in the US, while waiting for the last child to complete his primary education before he joins them over there.
The disrespectful wife now seeing her husband is doing very well over there in the States now calls him, speaking to him with utmost respect, but the friend still does not trust her motives as he has not said anything about her joining him over there.
The windmill of the gods are always turning round, a person might be down today, but tommorow becomes very wealthy and influential. Thats why we should treat everyone with respect.

I guess it was that woman advice her to left and also you are very weak man.

That is why sometimes its not wise to marry a gal that had been rise by her mother alone without the father, women ways of reasoning when it comes to marriage sometimes is shallow imagine if ur father in law was present, ( there are times for action and times for inaction if i were you honestly i wil not go looking for her, just get her uncle involved man to man, ur luv for her is ur weakness leave ur heart and use ur head for once.

When this kind of issue came up, you will see single men or lady's giving advice of something they dont know about, please this thread is for married Narialanders .

Babaj145:
If u like call it a womans kids dat is ur own headache..Yes involve d police if d woman decides to be stubborn and prevent d man from seeing his kids for one flimsy excuse dat she does not have evidence of..u can't just act on hear say hear say..if she is a good and reasonable woman she will call attention to d members of not just her family but also members of d mans family and state what is bordering her in d relationship and from there on see how dey can settle their differences not just keeping shut and running away with d kids.. Except the O.P is not telling us d whole truth in dis mata..if there's a case of domestic violence den I will support d woman here...and yes u can report a case to d police and there won't be any unnecessary arrest made...And can u state the crime d man committed to warrant dis action from d woman??..don't play d feminist card here..

The lady is more interested in a fight than a peaceful resolution.. people are thinking she just left the house now.. from experience (not me though) this did has been perfected in the spirit, she was just waiting for the right timing to fulfill it physically.

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

Honestly with what you explained (if it's really how you painted it tho)...
Someone is out there deceiving your wife (which she might not have respond to).. any in-law/parent of what ever that is the back bone to destroy their children/in-law marriage or anything of such is a devil, and a witch ( yes i said it)....
A mind that is made up is made up only prayer can change it... or better still a better good lesson(kologbon)...
Kindly report to the police write your statement..
before you end up with depression (I rebuke it for you) or even a use lady.

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

A married man living with a single mother in-law. How do you expect her to feel when your wife is moaning at night. You have two available women at home and still flirting with another. instead of you to divorce your wife that don't like sex and marry a woman that will satisfy your sexual desire. you are flirting and prostituting with other women and looking for advice Nairaland. I wonder why men that their denies them sex stay married and start crying and looking for sympathy in Nairaland.

You have said it all.
I was a victim of this too.
I was the sacrificial lamb and the chicken she used to appease the gods for
whatever she thought that her father did to her mother.
It was terrible!!! But I managed to escape eventually.

ogawisdom:
First mistake never never marry a girl raised by a single mother. She saw what her mother went through bc of men and u will pay for it. She was raised to hate men. Her mother hates men bc of her failed relationship with them.

Second mistake how can you apologize when u are not guilty. I kw u are guilty Sha.

Since u are guilty and have apologize then u have to go and report to whoever gave her hand in marriage to you may be he can help resolve the matter.

No need for police, your children are with their mother and they are safe. No crime that needs police involvement except u want to waste your money.

Always avoid single mothers and their children when u want a serious relationship

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

For people in this kind of your situation, I call a time like this an opportunity to get back what you ve lost but while expecting that, be ready for the unexpected. That is, is either you succeeded in restructuring your family appropriately or lost your partner.
First of all, you need to make it clear to your wife both in speech and in action that you were the one that married her irrespective of how little or big you paid for her dowry. For the fact that you officially requested for her hand in marriage and her family accepted, God and not man has crown you with the grace to be called her husband and should be respected as such.
Now on the issue at hand, I will advise that you make police report on her disappearance from your house with your kids and also for your safety as you can not fully explain what she meant by you will hear from her family.
Two, make sure the decision on when she will return to your house is taken by you if eventually your difference is resolved either by police or family elders. Don't accept a situation where by they just finish discussing and say you can now follow your husband. Make sure you chose a week or two from the day of settlement for her to return. Finally, as your wife, except she is facing certain challenge which she is expected to politely communicate to you, she has no right denying you sex. If she continue to deny you sex, my brother, respectfully divorce her. I am not a party to people who believe that you must stay in a particular marriage till the end. The decision to stay together till the end is a joint decision and should be protected by both parties and not one party. Success

You’re not flying high enough for her. She’s seen men. And you don’t match the men she’s seen or who have toasted (or tasted) her.

Walk away, brother. Don’t look for them.

Face your life and make it enviable.

Don’t do it to revenge. Do it because it is your #1 priority on this life.

I wish o could say more here, but there’s no time.

Check out my signature for additional help.

Peace.

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

You shouldn't have allowed her mum a 'single' mother to come stay with you guys. Yes, because I don't think she knows the value of a man in a woman's life or value of marriage. She would want to see reasons that would make her daughter to leave her marriage, after all she raised her single handedly. Please don't go to the police, report this case to your King's men or your parents, God will see you through and reunite you with your family also restore peace in your home.

DontBullshitMe:
Weak men everywhere.

You are a very weak man.

the man is indeed weak and the whole thing seem the op mother in law is a very bad woman and wicked too because it seems she is the fueling the whole crisis in the man house.op you need to be man don’t let them manipulate seem the whole idea by the mother in law is to make her daughter divorced you so she can be a single again because I don’t understand her pay in the whole situations

Naijaarchive:
this your advice enh.... It true sha mother and daughter b taking op for a ride....

Yes naw

Her mums backing is her strength

So let her follow her mum

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

Your wife is already a lesbian!

ElZackzacky2019:
Hmmm... This matter serious o. I used to wonder if female children from toxic or pained single mothers would ever love their husbands. Their mothers seem to have poisoned their minds about men from infant

They will definitely love their husband

Just that they are loyal to their mum most times

Women have the ability to attract children to themselves

Justdogood:
Guy. @op.

You are just too weak for my liking.
1, let her have the children. If I am you hmmmmm. I can go all out out to defend myself once I know am innocent.
See. Time teaches all of us a lesson.
If am in your shoes, though I wouldn't wanna be. I will not call her again. As long as she is away.
I will change all the keys to that house.
I will stop sending her even if its 1kobo. Since she decided to move out and hide her location.
See, women are alwasy good at this they play card no 1, watch ur reactions and play card 2, 3, 4 and so on.
Bone her for now and dont even feel bothered. You can do it.

2. Shun her mothers words and actions. its your mistake from the first time. Which is letting her come live with you guys.

3. There has to be rules and guidelines for the house if she is going to come back.
See, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. They say when the birds have decided to fly without perching. We the hunters will learn to shoot without aiming.
The rules should include.
-Her mother can come visiting, but will not stay more than 2weeks
-sex now has to be scheduled or timed or you should be the one to initiate divorce. The sex should be at least twice weekly
-no abusive words from mum inlaw or your wife again. As long as they are under your roof. Also you
-the next time she leaves the house without your notice and not disclosing her whereabouts, that day the marriage ends. As you will file for divorce.
Cos i have noticed. Women use that which you cherish the most to threaten you cos they know you are scared to lose it.
Thats why she is always using divorce or your children. Cos she feels you are scared.
Please add as much stringent rules as u can.

Some black women are like the devil. His name in igbo is "ekwensu" meaning "ikwe ya esu" translation "if you agree, it starts".
What ever a woman does, once you let that one slide, its has started. More will come. Am just soo pained watch or hearing this from my fellow man.
Nope. I wont take it.
Please emphasize on that sex part well for her. And let her know it just has to be by the rules above.
Infact stop being scared of divorce cos thats what her mum keeps telling her to use or maybe ur kids.
If she wants to go, let her go. Let her go.
Whats all this. You weren't physical or abusive and then the cheating issue is just on mere accusations jeez

Cos the way your marriage is going, if you dont get strong and tough, you will end up being turned into a simp or a sis, or a vegetable husband who has an alpha wife, or they will push you till you die or commit suicide.

Sit up father of the house,
Sit up my fellow man,
Sit up papa mmadu,
You are the man,
You are the head of that house lead that house. Dont let any mother inlaw or wife chnage this.

Finally if she decides to chnage. In all aspects
You can soft pedal on the above listed conditions.

Thanks

No wonder your own woman left,who gives condition for sex,rules and order in a marriage ,his marriage is not army Barack ,take your egoistic self far off,the op knows better.

dinachi:
Your wife is already a lesbian!

Warp brain lesbian and she is married with 2kids.is google really your friend,if it is then check out the word bisexual.

alizma:
For people in this kind of your situation, I call a time like this an opportunity to get back what you ve lost but while expecting that, be ready for the unexpected. That is, is either you succeeded in restructuring your family appropriately or lost your partner.
First of all, you need to make it clear to your wife both in speech and in action that you were the one that married her irrespective of how little or big you paid for her dowry. For the fact that you officially requested for her hand in marriage and her family accepted, God and not man has crown you with the grace to be called her husband and should be respected as such.
Now on the issue at hand, I will advise that you make police report on her disappearance from your house with your kids and also for your safety as you can not fully explain what she meant by you will hear from her family.
Two, make sure the decision on when she will return to your house is taken by you if eventually your difference is resolved either by police or family elders. Don't accept a situation where by they just finish discussing and say you can now follow your husband. Make sure you chose a week or two from the day of settlement for her to return. Finally, as your wife, except she is facing certain challenge which she is expected to politely communicate to you, she has no right denying you sex. If she continue to deny you sex, my brother, respectfully divorce her. I am not a party to people who believe that you must stay in a particular marriage till the end. The decision to stay together till the end is a joint decision and should be protected by both parties and not one party. Success

Too many pervert walking around,is sex the only thing you can lay claim on from the op write up.then divorce your own wife if she denies you sex,kids on the loose.

lozanni:
I wish some single mothers will borrow some sense. The single mother had through her lack of intelligence driven away her husband or suitors who would have got married to her and now she transferred that foolishness to her daughter's home in order to destroy it, instead of her to advise the young couple to sit down and communicate with each other to solve their problems which are not too weighty to be resolved.
This single mother scenerio played out in the marriage of a friend of mine. The single mother came to stay with the friend and his wife, the single lady's daughter and turned out to be a thorn in the flesh of the guy who was having financial challenges then and was depending on his wife who had a good job. It got to the extent that if the guy drives out with the family car and comes back home, that the mean mother inlaw will resort to scolding him that he should not touch the car again as it was her daughter who owned it.
The above maltreatment of the friend was supported by his wife who was also treating the guy with disrespect based on her mother's advise.
As fate would have it, the guy's sister who lived in the US visited and witnessed the bad treatment been given her brother by his wife and mother inlaw and decided to file papers for the friend to relocate to the US.
Today, the friend is doing well in the States and has picked three of his kids to live with him in the US, while waiting for the last child to complete his primary education before he joins them over there.
The disrespectful wife now seeing her husband is doing very well over there in the States now calls him, speaking to him with utmost respect, but the friend still does not trust her motives as he has not said anything about her joining him over there.
The windmill of the gods are always turning round, a person might be down today, but tommorow becomes very wealthy and influential. Thats why we should treat everyone with respect.

Cry me a river ,1. Your story has no bearing,in the op case is the wife rich and the bread winner. 2. You have only heard from the op have you heard from the wife.why take sides. You didn't cheat but admitted you cheated right who does such.I beg put your emotions in check biko.

sketcherJ:
how sir are u stuck? Pray tell. Wanna learn. I still appreciate the institution of marriage but wanna learn

If you enjoying it then you are lucky, many people are regretting it and seriously looking for a way out

ogawisdom:
First mistake never never marry a girl raised by a single mother. She saw what her mother went through bc of men and u will pay for it. She was raised to hate men. Her mother hates men bc of her failed relationship with them.

Second mistake how can you apologize when u are not guilty. I kw u are guilty Sha.

Since u are guilty and have apologize then u have to go and report to whoever gave her hand in marriage to you may be he can help resolve the matter.

No need for police, your children are with their mother and they are safe. No crime that needs police involvement except u want to waste your money.

Always avoid single mothers and their children when u want a serious relationship

U nailed it..... Marrying a girl raised by a single mother is a total deal breaker. ... Men won't learn and listen .... When u tell them to avoid such people, they will start forming male feminist

wany:
Cry me a river ,1. Your story has no bearing,in the op case is the wife rich and the bread winner. 2. You have only heard from the op have you heard from the wife.why take sides. You didn't cheat but admitted you cheated right who does such.I beg put your emotions in check biko.

Are u a single mother? If u are one. Don't transfer ur anger to ur daughter .

May God restore your home and grant you exceeding peace. Yours truly, ambassador Kehinde Tawede.

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

I will never marry a black woman in my life.... They're crazy

sisisioge:
So she's going to sue you for alleged cheating? Whew! It's always a problem when couples allow extended families live with them!

The issue is the influence not really whether they live in or out. Any day an external person no matter how close starts to interfere in marital issues problem is seating around the corner. The channel of communication is weak & there is also an obvious trust issues. The guy hasn't clarify on trust, knowing fully well that trust is earned. Lastly, most single mothers try to introduce the upgraded version of the same marital pattern that didn't work for them to their female children.
Recommendation
* He should open a sound communication channel especially general periodic reviews, discussing about possible challenges, solutions, future, etc. This will discourage external interference, create sense of marital inclusiveness, boost her confidence, etc.
* Kill every flirtatious behaviours and if already caught cheating before. He should work constantly to gain her trust though will take time.
* Review those who have great influence on her, and use their shortcoming to tactically dissuade her from fully relying on them. And by always remaining focus and making her involved in the boating of the marriage using the marital compass.
* Constantly pray together.