₦airaland Forum

I don't know. Ask our Chairman Giadom

Do your part and walk away

You can't demand gratitude from anyone but you can withhold the favor you give out.

Anyone who consistently fails to say thank you is an entitled ingrate that doesn't deserve help.

Saying Thank you doesn't mean you're weak or can't get for yourself what was given. It simply means 'I appreciate the time, effort and thought you put into doing this for me'.


A person who cannot say 'Thank you', definitely will never say 'Sorry'. They toxic humans!! Flee from them

Ishilove:
Once I see that you have the spirit of useless pride, ingratitude and a nauseating sense of entitlement, you will never get help from me, and this is why some people don't find favour because their character is so bad.

Walahi. I hate hate HATE people with meaningless pride and entitlement mentality. Better stay the eff away from me.

From my perspective gratitude is an imperative.

Powerful people say thank you like it's nothing.
But weak people, thank you is like humiliation to them.
My former boss is super rich and whenever I do anything for him or his wife thank you will be flowing like river.
Yes, God deserve all the thanks.
Thank His angels too.

Whenever my boss pay my salary, I always say thank you Sir. Does that means I don't deserve my salary?

It appears to me that you have a need to appease people, you crave for their acceptance and only putting in the work to maintain a cordial relationship with them. Stop it henceforth. No one respect a weak person, and though you see your approach as virtuous, to the non-virtous, it is mocked.

Your pastor is not a true pastor. You could have not thanked him when he gifted you a shoe, and if he asked why, you repeat the line he told you about the unimportance of gratitude. Respect people for their behaviors not titles. You could have ditched him long ago, but as I said in the first paragraph, seems you have a need to appease someone that is not reciprocating it in the same light.

Op, understand something. There will always be those people in your life or who you encounter
as you go through life that make it look like what you do for them is their right hence their sense of ingratitude. It's bad on their part but it shouldn't stop you from doing good. Only this time, channel it more to people who really appreciate you. But ofcourse, there will always be strangers you can also help who can offer nothing in return except "Thank you".
In all, I find it is better to have a thankful attitude for even the smallest positive things done to us or for us because the truth is the world we live in is made up majorly of selfish people. So if one can still find another who can do something good for them no matter how small, one should be grateful. One should be really grateful because there are people out there who seek this little help but aren't even getting a fraction of it. So it is well Op, don't stop doing good inspite of some people's poor ungrateful attitude. Just channel your help energy more to people who really regard you and appreciate your time and help. No need demanding a thank you or anything like that. Just do your thing and walk away and focus more on those who appreciate.

Shebi it is thank you they didn't say. Your own is even better.

Open WhatsApp group and invite Oshiomole to tell you his story.

It is your depth of gratitude that determines your altitude, so when you're truly and fully greatful to God, your altitude is settled.

Who force u.

Are u under spell ?

i need help please


ill dobale for u

wwwkaycom:
I'm confused about this. Am I expecting too much from people? I had a pastor few years ago, do anything for this pastor, he will never say thank you.

There was a time he followed us as youth in the church at that time to a youth picnic on the instruction of our Senior Pastor, upon arrival, I mobilised the youth to appreciate him by presenting a gift of a very good quality shirt, he returned it and told us its too small for what he'll collect from us, he said we were big youths, we had to contribute more money to buy a suit and add to the shirt. He didn't at any time say thank you to anyone of us.

There was a time he did his mother's funeral, I travelled all the way from Ondo State to his hometown somewhere in one of the southern states, I gave him a token of 10k which was what I could afford at the time as present, no thank you till this moment.

I can mention 5 other instances in which I offered him gifts without even an acknowledgement that he got it.

One day while preaching, he said "if you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He was transferred to another state since 2013.

Again, I have a colleague in the office who have this same trait. He told me he doesn't know how to say thank you. Do anything for him, he believed he deserved it. He will never say thank you.

One day, our oga traveled to Germany and bought some beautiful shoes which he gave to us when he came back, that shoe would have cost 27k if purchased in Nigeria at that time. I got it through our secretary and sent an SMS to oga immediately, I also called him to thank him. The following day, I didn't see him, I sent an SMS again and the third day, I went straight to his office in the morning to thank him again.

This is the way I was brought up. We had to prostrate to thank our parents each time they paid our school fees or bought something for us in those days. My friend didn't say anything to our oga. As I was going out of oga's office, he called me back and said "can you see your friend Stanley? he will never appreciate anything". I asked Stanley and he gave me the same reply my pastor gave me years ago. " If you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He said must he now turn himself to who he isn't just because of a shoe? that's just who Stanley is.

Now I have a neighbour in my street, every morning I'll pick his two kids and take them to school since their public school is very close to my children school, these children will never say thank you. They just hop in and hop out of the car every morning and sometimes in the evening if they see us while passing the front of their school. Funny enough, their parent also haven't appreciated the gesture at any time, its like an abomination for them to say thank you. One day in March, before the lockdown, I went to my kid's school by around 11am in the morning to submit school fees tellers, I saw one of the kids I normally pick to school in front of their school gate, I stopped to ask her why she isn't in class, she told me they asked her to go home because she was feeling feverish. Instead of going back to my office, I took her home. As I was driving, I asked about her parents, she said they'll have gone to their business places and that his dad's phone rang but he didn't pick it when the vice-principal tried to call him while her mum's phone was bad. I took her to their house, ask a nurse who also sells medicine in our street to treat her, I paid N1200 for the drugs, nothing like thank you from this 12 year old girl and her parent didn't say anything till date even though the nurse told me she narrated the whole story to them.

Last Saturday, I attended the landlord association meeting, I heard the assistant secretary of our association saying that he paid 2k on behalf of the man for a particular work we're doing in the street and that the man didn't even show appreciation or make effort to pay back his 2k. This man just said "its only God who deserved thanks, I'll pay your 2k next week".

Are these people really right? Is it wrong to show appreciation for good deeds? Our parents taught us to show gratitude for good deeds when we were young, were they wrong? I'm not so clear about this.

My dear, pastors are one of the most entitled people I have met in my life. They love to collect and use other people but can never give. Very very manipulative and selfish wicked people! ! am not saying all are like that, but most of them are. I avoid getting or working close to any for my own sanity. Please serve God with all your heart, don't serve man!
The others are just ingrates!

Gratitude is the key to greater blessings. Many people remain poor because opportunities have been closed to them due to ingratitude.

It is a good thing though. Let doors keep being shut in the faces of ingrate and let grateful people get all the opportunities.

Gratitude is really good in the sense that it opens doors for you unlike those who are usually not grateful..

It improves your social connection and your own well-being too.

Rozz:
Is it Gratitude that's worrying you in this period?Do things because of God and you won't be bothering so much about gratitude

You are wrong.
I hope you are not one of them.
Learn to say thank you.

kennybabs1980:
People like that are everywhere. We discussed something like this in our Sunday school I think in March, RCCG Sunday school. One woman stood up to say "if you do good to anyone, forget it, stop expecting appreciation", I told the woman that ingratitude is sinful. Have you noticed these stupid goatee bearded young guys of these days? They don't appreciate anything. I hate ingrates!

Next time tell such woman that she doesn't deserve any good am ashamed of such person. It is either she is a church goer or she was talking out of past experience

It is a very bad habit not to be grateful to someone whom God has used to help us in time we are in need. Yoruba adage says someone whom you helped yesterday , when they appreciation is. Likely to receive from the giver again, or even something bigger than the first gift.
@Op. Remember Luke 17 ; 11-19 Jesus healed 10 lepers only one return to say Lord I thank you, Christ even asked , where are the remain 9?

Rozz:
Is it Gratitude that's worrying you in this period?Do things because of God and you won't be bothering so much about gratitude

Yes, we do things because of God but we should encourage good morals too. The op didn't stop being herself because they weren't "thanking her". Show gratitude. Little things like this makes the world a better place.

lilyheaven:
You are wrong. I hope you are not one of them. Learn to say thank you.

just playing around

lilyheaven:
You are wrong. I hope you are not one of them. Learn to say thank you.

just playing around

antocreative:
My dear, pastors are one of the most entitled people I have met in my life. They love to collect but can never give. I worked with one like that, always preaching how one must humle themselves to serve others, but this wicked man can never give anything to anyone, but he always want to be served an given. Very very manipulative and selfish wicked man! ! am not saying all are like that, but most of them are. I avoid getting or working close to any for my own sanity. May god continue to punish him wherever he is! Pleases serve god with all your heart, don't serve man!

That is not true. That pastor who exhibited such behaviour had that trait before becoming a pastor. He must have been mentored by another pastor who believes in entitlement. However,there are still some pastors that are different. They are human like me and you. There is nothing special about them aside their ministerial calling (that is if they didn't call themselves or had a missed call)

@op you're right and that your pastor and colleague are also right in their own way.

Everybody with their own. As for me, if i want to do something for you, i will do it without expecting anything in return, whether you appreciate it or not, i don't care, even if it cost me, I still don't care, I didn't do it because i want your apprection at the end of the day, I did it because i can and I want to. That's just me tho

IamDavid:
Yes, we do things because of God but we should encourage good morals too. The op didn't stop being herself because they weren't "thanking her". Show gratitude. Little things like this makes the world a better place.

ok

OrestesDante:
.....

Why are comments ridiculously long on this thread?

Lol, i don't read the long comments i scroll past to the shorter ones.

Rozz:
just playing around

Thank God

they must be ingrates! don't stop doing good @op

It is not just thanking the person but also informing our parents about someone's act of kindness so that they will extend their own gratitude. That was how I was brought up.

I argue with my wife on this a lot. People will give her things like money, bought things for my kids or edible things that I will even partake in eating without letting me know until I asked. I also need to appreciate the person. That was how I was trained by my parents.

You will always want to do good to people that are appreciative than to proud and pompous people.

Well most religious people do good cause of the promise of Heaven.

It's good to say THANK YOU always

I appreciates the minutest good done to me. I don't know about others especially churchy people.