Focusmind:
It is not just thanking the person but also informing our parents about someone's act of kindness so that they will extend their own gratitude. That was how I was brought up.

I argue with my wife on this a lot. People will give her things like money, bought things for my kids or edible things that I will even partake in eating without letting me know until I asked. I also need to appreciate the person. That was how I was trained by my parents.

You will always want to do good to people that are appreciative than to phroud and pompous people.

thank u for being honest Sir,
I

Some years back I was dating a girl, I noticed when I give her gifts she does not show appreciation I tested her for a while and I discovered that was how they where brought up, I just used one excuse to cut off the relationship, Please continue to teach your family those values

Deicide:
Well most religious people do good cause of the promise of Heaven.

If you react to the behaviour of some people, you will offend God.


IT IS VEEEEEERY GOOD TO SAY THANK YOU!

I find it offensive
Maybe what peeps like that deserve is not doing anything atall for ' em
I can say thank you well well,sotey if I collect change after purchasing something I go still say thank you.
Been grateful is just a proper thing to do.

Nawa ooooo. And I'm here trying to work on saying"Thank you" too much. Like my own is beyond normal.
You return something you borrow from me, I will thank you.
You remove dust from my cloth , I will thank you.
You see me in the morning, I will greet you and thank you after responding.
I buy something you gimme change, I will say thank you.
Worst happened at work when my boss gave me a document to work on and I said thank you.
Any exchange, beneficial or not I will thank you. Lol.

This life is not balance at all.

[quote author=wwwkaycom post=91030988]I'm confused about this. Am I expecting too much from people? I had a pastor few years ago, do anything for this pastor, he will never say thank you.

There was a time he followed us as youth in the church at that time to a youth picnic on the instruction of our Senior Pastor, upon arrival, I mobilised the youth to appreciate him by presenting a gift of a very good quality shirt, he returned it and told us its too small for what he'll collect from us, he said we were big youths, we had to contribute more money to buy a suit and add to the shirt. He didn't at any time say thank you to anyone of us.

There was a time he did his mother's funeral, I travelled all the way from Ondo State to his hometown somewhere in one of the southern states, I gave him a token of 10k which was what I could afford at the time as present, no thank you till this moment.

I can mention 5 other instances in which I offered him gifts without even an acknowledgement that he got it.

One day while preaching, he said "if you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He was transferred to another state since 2013.

Again, I have a colleague in the office who have this same trait. He told me he doesn't know how to say thank you. Do anything for him, he believed he deserved it. He will never say thank you.

One day, our oga traveled to Germany and bought some beautiful shoes which he gave to us when he came back, that shoe would have cost 27k if purchased in Nigeria at that time. I got it through our secretary and sent an SMS to oga immediately, I also called him to thank him. The following day, I didn't see him, I sent an SMS again and the third day, I went straight to his office in the morning to thank him again.

This is the way I was brought up. We had to prostrate to thank our parents each time they paid our school fees or bought something for us in those days. My friend didn't say anything to our oga. As I was going out of oga's office, he called me back and said "can you see your friend Stanley? he will never appreciate anything". I asked Stanley and he gave me the same reply my pastor gave me years ago. " If you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He said must he now turn himself to who he isn't just because of a shoe? that's just who Stanley is.

Now I have a neighbour in my street, every morning I'll pick his two kids and take them to school since their public school is very close to my children school, these children will never say thank you. They just hop in and hop out of the car every morning and sometimes in the evening if they see us while passing the front of their school. Funny enough, their parent also haven't appreciated the gesture at any time, its like an abomination for them to say thank you. One day in March, before the lockdown, I went to my kid's school by around 11am in the morning to submit school fees tellers, I saw one of the kids I normally pick to school in front of their school gate, I stopped to ask her why she isn't in class, she told me they asked her to go home because she was feeling feverish. Instead of going back to my office, I took her home. As I was driving, I asked about her parents, she said they'll have gone to their business places and that his dad's phone rang but he didn't pick it when the vice-principal tried to call him while her mum's phone was bad. I took her to their house, ask a nurse who also sells medicine in our street to treat her, I paid N1200 for the drugs, nothing like thank you from this 12 year old girl and her parent didn't say anything till date even though the nurse told me she narrated the whole story to them.

Last Saturday, I attended the landlord association meeting, I heard the assistant secretary of our association saying that he paid 2k on behalf of the man for a particular work we're doing in the street and that the man didn't even show appreciation or make effort to pay back his 2k. This man just said "its only God who deserved thanks, I'll pay your 2k next week".

Are these people really right? Is it wrong to show appreciation for good deeds? Our parents taught us to show gratitude for good deeds when we were young, were they wrong? I'm not so clear about this.[/qdream
The funny part of it is that, these same kind of human beings can not conceive it in their heart to help or give someone a gift. believe me, any one who does not appreciate can not give out.

If you cannot be thankful to your fellow man for helping out in time of need or emergency I really wonder how thankful they are to God they are yet to see. Entitled people everywhere

OrestesDante:
.....

Why are comments ridiculously long on this thread?

Answer.....
The thread itself is longer than the note on longman dictionary.

Jesus healed ten lepers , only 1 out of 10 came back to show gratitude. This account ( Luke 17:11-19) was penned down in the scripture for us to always be thankful for every good deeds we receive.

wwwkaycom:
I'm confused about this. Am I expecting too much from people? I had a pastor few years ago, do anything for this pastor, he will never say thank you.

There was a time he followed us as youth in the church at that time to a youth picnic on the instruction of our Senior Pastor, upon arrival, I mobilised the youth to appreciate him by presenting a gift of a very good quality shirt, he returned it and told us its too small for what he'll collect from us, he said we were big youths, we had to contribute more money to buy a suit and add to the shirt. He didn't at any time say thank you to anyone of us.

There was a time he did his mother's funeral, I travelled all the way from Ondo State to his hometown somewhere in one of the southern states, I gave him a token of 10k which was what I could afford at the time as present, no thank you till this moment.

I can mention 5 other instances in which I offered him gifts without even an acknowledgement that he got it.

One day while preaching, he said "if you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He was transferred to another state since 2013.

Again, I have a colleague in the office who have this same trait. He told me he doesn't know how to say thank you. Do anything for him, he believed he deserved it. He will never say thank you.

One day, our oga traveled to Germany and bought some beautiful shoes which he gave to us when he came back, that shoe would have cost 27k if purchased in Nigeria at that time. I got it through our secretary and sent an SMS to oga immediately, I also called him to thank him. The following day, I didn't see him, I sent an SMS again and the third day, I went straight to his office in the morning to thank him again.

This is the way I was brought up. We had to prostrate to thank our parents each time they paid our school fees or bought something for us in those days. My friend didn't say anything to our oga. As I was going out of oga's office, he called me back and said "can you see your friend Stanley? he will never appreciate anything". I asked Stanley and he gave me the same reply my pastor gave me years ago. " If you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He said must he now turn himself to who he isn't just because of a shoe? that's just who Stanley is.

Now I have a neighbour in my street, every morning I'll pick his two kids and take them to school since their public school is very close to my children school, these children will never say thank you. They just hop in and hop out of the car every morning and sometimes in the evening if they see us while passing the front of their school. Funny enough, their parent also haven't appreciated the gesture at any time, its like an abomination for them to say thank you. One day in March, before the lockdown, I went to my kid's school by around 11am in the morning to submit school fees tellers, I saw one of the kids I normally pick to school in front of their school gate, I stopped to ask her why she isn't in class, she told me they asked her to go home because she was feeling feverish. Instead of going back to my office, I took her home. As I was driving, I asked about her parents, she said they'll have gone to their business places and that his dad's phone rang but he didn't pick it when the vice-principal tried to call him while her mum's phone was bad. I took her to their house, ask a nurse who also sells medicine in our street to treat her, I paid N1200 for the drugs, nothing like thank you from this 12 year old girl and her parent didn't say anything till date even though the nurse told me she narrated the whole story to them.

Last Saturday, I attended the landlord association meeting, I heard the assistant secretary of our association saying that he paid 2k on behalf of the man for a particular work we're doing in the street and that the man didn't even show appreciation or make effort to pay back his 2k. This man just said "its only God who deserved thanks, I'll pay your 2k next week".

Are these people really right? Is it wrong to show appreciation for good deeds? Our parents taught us to show gratitude for good deeds when we were young, were they wrong? I'm not so clear about this.

Bro can you assist me with 2k let me
use it and eat

My brother, just keep doing what you are doing. If you wait for appreciation you'll turn to a wicked human being. Remain blessed for your efforts. It's paving ways for you in aspects you'll never know.

whatalife:
Some years back I was dating a girl, I noticed when I give her gifts she does not show appreciation I tested her for a while and I discovered that was how they where brought up, I just used one excuse to cut off the relationship, Please continue to teach your family those values

you are the true son of your father

Pete Edochie

sircatherine45:
It is wrong to show gratitude to ungrateful people

I wish I can like ur comment multiple times. Once u show ingratitude to my good deed, next time even if u'r on fire and I have a cup of water, I'll drink it. The most annoying part is that such people never would never help others

YngDenzel1:
@op you're right and that your pastor and colleague are also right in their own way.

Everybody with their own. As for me, if i want to do something for you, i will do it without expecting anything in return, whether you appreciate it or not, i don't care, even if it cost me, I still don't care, I didn't do it because i want your apprection at the end of the day, I did it because i can and I want to. That's just me tho

you've spoken well. sometimes I feel embarrassed being over thanked. I don't expect thank you for any help. But if you say thank you its fine, But don't let it be too much. That everyday you see me you are saying "thank u for the other day o". Don't do that

Keep showing gratitude, don't mind those that that don't show gratitude.

odogwunaija:


I wish I can like ur comment multiple times. Once u show ingratitude to my good deed, next time even if u'r on fire and I have a cup of water, I'll drink it. The most annoying part is that such people never would never help others

spot on

It's all about upbringing, but then again even if you weren't taught some things growing up, you should teach yourself.

Pocohontasboo:

you've spoken well. sometimes I feel embarrassed being over thanked. I don't expect thank you for any help. But if you say thank you its fine, But don't let it be too much. That everyday you see me you are saying "thank u for the other day o". Don't do that

That thank you for the other day is creepy and very embarrassing.

Just say thank you... Once is ok. If you don't feel like ... Fine and good. I won't even notice.

I’ll be honest with you....I say thank you to every little thing that anyone does to me. It’s spontaneous and the way I really feel but then I started studying people and I observed people in terms of:-
1) Unspoken intentions,
2) Hidden agenda,
3) Hypocrisy,
4) Social Media gratification,
5) Witchcraft and manipulation

Consequently I have also omitted few “thank you” some people expected.

The heart of man is desperately wicked. Who can know it?

Finally I came to a conclusion.

If and when you do someone good, don’t expect nothing. Just do it and go.

Either ways you will reap what you sow. Good or bad. .

Live your Life!

This entitled people. Later they will tell you, did i beg you to help me? Tueeeh!

[quote author=kenzysmith post=91034562] better use your time to please your self cause you can't please the world they would never appreciate that why i don't give a Bleep on what people think about me ii don't leave my life to impress others. when y if you die today you will be forgotten in hours and life goes on and same people you are trying to kill your self on will dance on your funeral.

If i do something for you and you don't show gratitude, hehe. If i hear say I do something for you again.
Gratitude is a etiquette that everyone needs to have.

This also applies to greetings. Whenever I take out the trash in the morning, I greet everyone on my way. That's when you'd see some people that'll bone face like monkey and walk past you even when you've said good morning twice.

What an ingrate people? Entitlement mentality dey worry them.

iamvictorbassey:
It's only on nairaland you'll see very crazy questions. As if it's by force to buy pastor gift. Him don see mumu now.

Lol, if a pastor said that to me, I'll take the shirt and use it to clean my shoe Infront of him. What nonsense.

It's like someone that begged a friend money during the lockdown and dude sent him 3k. Just for the guy to say the money is too small

Lol

Make I read comment first then I will comment my reserve

Abeeg no vex say I chuk mouth for yo wahala Oo

MAK I GIVE YOU EAR OPENER

BABA..IF NAH "MALE PASTOR"LEAVE HAM LIKE DAT..PEOPLE LIKE DAT WILL" BLEED BLOOD TO DENFEND IN YOUR ABSENCE Oo"

BUT..IF NA FEMALE PAITO ENH??

STOP RENDERIN ANY HELP..SHE BELIEVES IT HER RIGHT..BUT SOME CUD BE DIFFERENT..

Some GUY R LIKE DAT HONESTLY..

Back in the days in my uni..i have 2 close friends as per i'm not the talking type..

So I had Lil circle of my friends..

Infact ehn..I GAVE THIS 2 FRIENDS FULLY FURNISHED SELF CON FOR MY HEART..I HARDLY JOKE WITH THEM...

THE FIRST ONE WAS THE CHURCHY/LOOKING SO INNOCENT..

IN FACT IF I DASH AM 5NAIRA EHN..

HIN GO TAKE 5DAYS THANK ME TILL I WILL TELL HIM TO STOP EMBARRASSING ME..

BUT..U SEE THE SECOND ONE EHN??

E WAS SO POOR AND HARDLY FED..SEEMS HIM RELATIVES THREW HIM TO SKOOL AND LEFT HIM TO STARVE TO DEATH..

BUT..I ALWAYS DO MY BEST FOR HIM..STILL E NO GO THANK ME SHA..BUT ME NO EVEN SEND SHA..

WE GET ONE KAI BREAK FOR SKOOL LAIDAT..WEY DIS MY CHURCHY GUY GO SPOIL ME FOR THE GIRL WEY I WON DEY SERIOUS WITH DAT TIME..

THE GIRL CON CARRY THE MATTER GO MEET THE SECOND GUY EHN??

THE BABE..SAY TELL ME SAY NOTHING WEY DAT 2ND GUY NO TAKE DEFEND O..

HIN TELL ME SAY..THAT MY 2ND GUY NA VERY GOOD GUY..MAKE WE DEY TIGHT Oo..

REASON..FOR MY EPISTLE BE SAY"PEOPLE LIKE DAT GO BLEED BLOOD TO DEFEND IN YOUR ABSENCE"

for pple wey no like long story "NO VEX BIKO"

NAH..SCIENCE STUDENT I BE WE NO TOO DO SUMMARY FOR SKOOL..HELEP ME MANAGE MY EINGLISH LIE DAR

wwwkaycom:
I'm confused about this. Am I expecting too much from people? I had a pastor few years ago, do anything for this pastor, he will never say thank you.

There was a time he followed us as youth in the church at that time to a youth picnic on the instruction of our Senior Pastor, upon arrival, I mobilised the youth to appreciate him by presenting a gift of a very good quality shirt, he returned it and told us its too small for what he'll collect from us, he said we were big youths, we had to contribute more money to buy a suit and add to the shirt. He didn't at any time say thank you to anyone of us.

There was a time he did his mother's funeral, I travelled all the way from Ondo State to his hometown somewhere in one of the southern states, I gave him a token of 10k which was what I could afford at the time as present, no thank you till this moment.

I can mention 5 other instances in which I offered him gifts without even an acknowledgement that he got it.

One day while preaching, he said "if you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He was transferred to another state since 2013.

Again, I have a colleague in the office who have this same trait. He told me he doesn't know how to say thank you. Do anything for him, he believed he deserved it. He will never say thank you.

One day, our oga traveled to Germany and bought some beautiful shoes which he gave to us when he came back, that shoe would have cost 27k if purchased in Nigeria at that time. I got it through our secretary and sent an SMS to oga immediately, I also called him to thank him. The following day, I didn't see him, I sent an SMS again and the third day, I went straight to his office in the morning to thank him again.

This is the way I was brought up. We had to prostrate to thank our parents each time they paid our school fees or bought something for us in those days. My friend didn't say anything to our oga. As I was going out of oga's office, he called me back and said "can you see your friend Stanley? he will never appreciate anything". I asked Stanley and he gave me the same reply my pastor gave me years ago. " If you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He said must he now turn himself to who he isn't just because of a shoe? that's just who Stanley is.

Now I have a neighbour in my street, every morning I'll pick his two kids and take them to school since their public school is very close to my children school, these children will never say thank you. They just hop in and hop out of the car every morning and sometimes in the evening if they see us while passing the front of their school. Funny enough, their parent also haven't appreciated the gesture at any time, its like an abomination for them to say thank you. One day in March, before the lockdown, I went to my kid's school by around 11am in the morning to submit school fees tellers, I saw one of the kids I normally pick to school in front of their school gate, I stopped to ask her why she isn't in class, she told me they asked her to go home because she was feeling feverish. Instead of going back to my office, I took her home. As I was driving, I asked about her parents, she said they'll have gone to their business places and that his dad's phone rang but he didn't pick it when the vice-principal tried to call him while her mum's phone was bad. I took her to their house, ask a nurse who also sells medicine in our street to treat her, I paid N1200 for the drugs, nothing like thank you from this 12 year old girl and her parent didn't say anything till date even though the nurse told me she narrated the whole story to them.

Last Saturday, I attended the landlord association meeting, I heard the assistant secretary of our association saying that he paid 2k on behalf of the man for a particular work we're doing in the street and that the man didn't even show appreciation or make effort to pay back his 2k. This man just said "its only God who deserved thanks, I'll pay your 2k next week".

Are these people really right? Is it wrong to show appreciation for good deeds? Our parents taught us to show gratitude for good deeds when we were young, were they wrong? I'm not so clear about this.

You've said it all when you said you help your neighbor kids by taking them to school and the kids themselves don't show any appreciation. Therefore it's ill-mannered upbringing by their parent as well.

kennybabs1980:
People like that are everywhere. We discussed something like this in our Sunday school I think in March, RCCG Sunday school. One woman stood up to say "if you do good to anyone, forget it, stop expecting appreciation", I told the woman that ingratitude is sinful. Have you noticed these stupid goatee bearded young guys of these days? They don't appreciate anything. I hate ingrates!

Baba it't not all goatee bearded guys naw

If I offer you help and u swallow my 'thank u' forget it u will never see my shiit again.

@Op, do whatever you believe in and what puts your mind at ease, you shouldn't be deterred by other people believes
And don't expect people to do same to you tho(This life no balance)

Am a very stubborn person and am kinda proud(to some people tho)but the truth of it is that am very confident of my myself. But you see this gratitude of a thing(THANK YOU) it in my blood,that was how i was trained,do you know that i even tell people thank.you after buying goods or services. My guy dey always para for that one over... But bein grateful is actually good,people will always want to do Things for you just to make u say that thank you..

wwwkaycom:
I'm confused about this. Am I expecting too much from people? I had a pastor few years ago, do anything for this pastor, he will never say thank you.

There was a time he followed us as youth in the church at that time to a youth picnic on the instruction of our Senior Pastor, upon arrival, I mobilised the youth to appreciate him by presenting a gift of a very good quality shirt, he returned it and told us its too small for what he'll collect from us, he said we were big youths, we had to contribute more money to buy a suit and add to the shirt. He didn't at any time say thank you to anyone of us.

There was a time he did his mother's funeral, I travelled all the way from Ondo State to his hometown somewhere in one of the southern states, I gave him a token of 10k which was what I could afford at the time as present, no thank you till this moment.

I can mention 5 other instances in which I offered him gifts without even an acknowledgement that he got it.

One day while preaching, he said "if you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He was transferred to another state since 2013.

Again, I have a colleague in the office who have this same trait. He told me he doesn't know how to say thank you. Do anything for him, he believed he deserved it. He will never say thank you.

One day, our oga traveled to Germany and bought some beautiful shoes which he gave to us when he came back, that shoe would have cost 27k if purchased in Nigeria at that time. I got it through our secretary and sent an SMS to oga immediately, I also called him to thank him. The following day, I didn't see him, I sent an SMS again and the third day, I went straight to his office in the morning to thank him again.

This is the way I was brought up. We had to prostrate to thank our parents each time they paid our school fees or bought something for us in those days. My friend didn't say anything to our oga. As I was going out of oga's office, he called me back and said "can you see your friend Stanley? he will never appreciate anything". I asked Stanley and he gave me the same reply my pastor gave me years ago. " If you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He said must he now turn himself to who he isn't just because of a shoe? that's just who Stanley is.

Now I have a neighbour in my street, every morning I'll pick his two kids and take them to school since their public school is very close to my children school, these children will never say thank you. They just hop in and hop out of the car every morning and sometimes in the evening if they see us while passing the front of their school. Funny enough, their parent also haven't appreciated the gesture at any time, its like an abomination for them to say thank you. One day in March, before the lockdown, I went to my kid's school by around 11am in the morning to submit school fees tellers, I saw one of the kids I normally pick to school in front of their school gate, I stopped to ask her why she isn't in class, she told me they asked her to go home because she was feeling feverish. Instead of going back to my office, I took her home. As I was driving, I asked about her parents, she said they'll have gone to their business places and that his dad's phone rang but he didn't pick it when the vice-principal tried to call him while her mum's phone was bad. I took her to their house, ask a nurse who also sells medicine in our street to treat her, I paid N1200 for the drugs, nothing like thank you from this 12 year old girl and her parent didn't say anything till date even though the nurse told me she narrated the whole story to them.

Last Saturday, I attended the landlord association meeting, I heard the assistant secretary of our association saying that he paid 2k on behalf of the man for a particular work we're doing in the street and that the man didn't even show appreciation or make effort to pay back his 2k. This man just said "its only God who deserved thanks, I'll pay your 2k next week".

Are these people really right? Is it wrong to show appreciation for good deeds? Our parents taught us to show gratitude for good deeds when we were young, were they wrong? I'm not so clear about this.

You are not expecting too much. These excuses for humanity you met are just ill bred and badly behaved.

Don't feed entitled behaviour.