₦airaland Forum

I have a family friend who will soon be an ex convict. He is serving his jail time. He committed the crime.

Each time, when I visit him, I see regrets written all over him. He regrets his actions. He told me that he doesn't know how to restart his life after gaining freedom.

I'm thinking should he go and apologize to the people he offended on gaining his freedom. Will that make any difference?

Any suggestions on how he will restart a fresh life?

Let him create a thread, we will advise him.

MejiLoyon:
Let him create a thread, we will advise him.

He is still in prison. I will relay your advice to him when I visit him again.

Hope he didn't kill someoneif he does, he shouldn't go to the other family o.

Since he is remorse of his action and he has served his time, he should move on. Once he is out, he should stay his life afresh legally. He could learn a trade and then relocate to a new state to start his life afresh. As regards visiting the family he offended, I do not think that is necessary.

Foodqueen:
Hope he didn't kill someoneif he does, he shouldn't go to the other family o.

If he killed someone, what is the worst thing, the other family could do to him?

GboyegaD:
Since he is remorse of his action and he has served his time, he should move on. Once he is out, he should stay his life afresh legally. He could learn a trade and then relocate to a new state to start his life afresh. As regards visiting the family he offended, I do not think that is necessary.

Thanks, but I think relocating will be hard

Usorohtheman:
Thanks, but I think relocating will be hard

Why though?

Foodqueen:
Hope he didn't kill someoneif he does, he shouldn't go to the other family o.

lmao

Usorohtheman:
If he killed someone, what is the worst thing, the other family could do to him?

If they are still nursing their loss, they can do him strong thing, maybe even set him up and get sent back to jail

GboyegaD:
Why though?

He thinks he is up to no good. No friends and family to help him. To them, he is the devil. So relocating will be hard.

Nowhere to go to

Usorohtheman:
He thinks he is up to no good. No friends and family to help him. To them, he is the devil. So relocating will be hard.

Nowhere to go to

The very reason he should relocate. No one owes him and he owes no one. He's made his mistake(s), paid for the consequences of his actions, it is time to define himself.

He doesn't need to know anyone to relocate. He could start all over from being a conductor in a city like Lagos, safe up and move out even build a career from it by upgrading to a driver afterwards.

He that is down need fear no fall and has no pride. He should just be humble and God will lift him up.

GboyegaD:
The very reason he should relocate. No one owes him and he owes no one. He's made his mistake(s), paid for the consequences of his actions, it is time to define himself.

He doesn't need to know anyone to relocate. He could start all over from being a conductor in a city like Lagos, safe up and move out even build a career from it by upgrading to a driver afterwards.

He that is down need fear no fall and has no pride. He should just be humble and God will lift him up.

Thank you. Very good guide. God bless you

Except for perpetual criminals, but if you're a regular guy on your way to becoming a first time offender, always think twice before pulling the trigger, because the step you're about to take might leave a permanent damage.

If he's regretted his actions like you said, restitution is a sign of remorse and change of heart. It would make him feel better and more acceptable to himself, it might also make the victims feel better. Saying sorry sincerely is a seal of repentance, it will caution you next time and also give you the mindset of being a changed person.
Except that, some restitutions involve threading with caution and application of wisdom. If going to his victims won't make any much difference now or cause more strife, he should wait till a more appropriate time later. If an appropriate time for restitution ever comes, it would be dumb to go about such situations alone, or meeting few people in a lonely place. Involve elders. Anyway, it all depends on the severity of the crime and the damage done.

Then, you talked about where he would start from.
Well, where he starts from depends on where he paused his life before going to prison. Does he have a wife? Does he have living family members? Does he have children? If yes, he needs to make peace with them too, and that would determine his next step, but if he no longer has anyone, he should relocate to a new environment, start a new life and stay away from trouble. Since he has friends like you, y'all would be assisting him till he finds his bearing and settles down.

Usorohtheman:
Thank you. Very good guide. God bless you

Amen and you too.

I am guided by some lines of the FECA Anthem I listened to on two occasions I attended their program which states:

"We shall rise and shine as He wants us to,
We shall keep the vision burning till he comes,
And we shall raise the feeble knees".

If we all have this vision, the world will be a better place.

Thanks for being there for your friend!

Relocating will be the best option for him, I don’t know the nature of his crime but I believe staying in the same environment is not healthy for someone who wants to change for better, factors like his old friends and some crazy neighbours will cause him to relapse

illicit:
If they are still nursing their loss, they can do him strong thing, maybe even set him up and get sent back to jail

He didn't kill anyone but he says he feels like apologizing for hurting them

Usorohtheman:
He didn't kill anyone but he says he feels like apologizing for hurting them

What was his crime, did he defraud them of a large sum of money? Did he molest anyone?
Since he is anonymous you can share with us.

Usorohtheman:
He didn't kill anyone but he says he feels like apologizing for hurting them

hmmmm yeah that's a good start to restitution

CHoccolaTE:
What was his crime, did he defraud them of a large sum of money? Did he molest anyone?
Since he is anonymous you can share with us.

He molested someone

Usorohtheman:
He molested someone

Fo and prostrate before them and beg for forgiveness but dont bother doing so if your life is on the line

How old is the victim? How long is his sentence?

Usorohtheman:
He didn't kill anyone but he says he feels like apologizing for hurting them

Usorohtheman:
He molested someone