obiekunie2:


exactly!

and that is why kids are turning to monsters - new world order has totally eliminated the father-figure from the whole equation.

mothers wants to be both father and mother at the same time. hence the reason new generation male are all turning to simps!

Wait, so mothers are now the ones at fault for the new generation of simps we have, it's no longer ladies fault, lmao, confused lots, I'm sorry for those taking y'all serious.

cococandy:


That’s simply what it is. Much of our parenting style in Nigeria is abusive. If you say it, then you’re too “woke”. Whatever that means.
On the other hand, it could mean you’re a feminist (I suppose that’s an insult ) if you try to discipline them the naija way.

The truth is most Nigerian parents have this strong sense of ownership towards their children, which is very unhealthy.
They want to control everything in the lives of their children even when they've grown to young adults.
Most of them want to know when their children go out, where they are, who they're with, even as far as dictating what to study in the university, which can be very stifling.
Although, it is not all that bad, it would be better if they know where to draw the line.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
mummy has used feminism to chase away daddy

STFU

If you had watched the video that went viral yesterday, the mum was told to call her husband. Not ex husband, husband! So implying he doesn't have a father figure in his life is definitely wrong. He might not be the real father, but regardless of that, he did have a father figure in his life.

So, who do we blame now?

Xavfra:



When I said this yesterday, some people said no that African culture is the best

Most settings in Africa are good at punishments but have no true idea of what discipline is. You would ask, were those that ended up being fraudsters, convicted criminals, ritualists, kidnappers etc not beaten up and used harsh words on when they were kids?

Mindlog:


Most settings in Africa are good at punishments but have no true idea of what discipline is. You would ask, were those that ended up being fraudsters, convicted criminals, ritualists, kidnappers etc not beaten up and used harsh words on when they were kids?

Most of them were....




When I see how parents beat their children like thieves, i feel like beating the parents
....

It would cost alot to beat a child, but it will cost very extremely little to talk gently advice that child..




All those beatings only make the child to be more.secretive.and to withdraw from people...

Mariangeles:


The truth is most Nigerian parents have this strong sense of ownership towards their children, which is very unhealthy.
They want to control everything in the lives of their children even when they've grown to young adults.
Most of them want to know when their children go out, where they are, who they're with, even as far as dictating what to study in the university, which can be very stifling.
Although, it is not all that bad, it would have better if they know where to draw the line.

You want to compare the sacrifices a Nigerian parent makes to the one a Western parent does?

Do Nigerian parents kick their children out at 18 or expect them to earn their keep?

Except very poor people, how many Nigerian kids do you see working during holidays instead of waiting for mommy and daddy to hustle for the next fees?

Do you know how many things a typical Nigerian parent deny themselves of so their children can 'do well'? How many things they are happy forfeiting under the 'guise' of 'my children would make it and do more than this for me'?

You don't start poking holes in a system from the middle.

Do a wholistic overview and make healthy adjustments where necessary.

Xavfra:



Most of them were....




When I see how parents beat their children like thieves, i feel like beating the parents
....

It would cost alot to beat a child, but it will cost very extremely little to talk gently advice that child..




All those beatings only make the child to be more.secretive.and to withdraw from people...

That is why we should query such parenting style because it has enabled so many to become dysfunctional adults.

Mindlog:


That is why we should query such parenting style because it has enabled so many to become dysfunctional adults.

Yes.....

We really need to educate people extremely well.... starting from childhood till death....


When you feel like slapping your child, hold him or her very close and kiss their forehead.........or you go and sleep.....or have sex

Biglittlelois:



Wait, so mothers are now the ones at fault for the new generation of simps we have, it's no longer ladies fault, lmao, confused lots, I'm sorry for those taking y'all serious.

According to this one's logic, mothers are not ladies

That's why I don't like judging matters till I hear the other party

Xavfra:



Most of them were....




When I see how parents beat their children like thieves, i feel like beating the parents
....

It would cost alot to beat a child, but it will cost very extremely little to talk gently advice that child..




All those beatings only make the child to be more.secretive.and to withdraw from people...

The product is one mean aggressive society.
U no see as we dey turn out
Sometimes they will beat u soteey u will faint.
And they are ever ready to qoute the bible they don't read

Too proud to apologise or settle down and explain things to the kids.

They will tell you it's the African system

More than 80% of Nigerian parents are angry birds

sassysure:

The product is one mean aggressive society.
U no see as we dey turn out
Sometimes they will beat u soteey u will faint.
And they are ever ready to qoute the bible they don't read

Too proud to apologise or settle down and explain things to the kids.

They will tell you it's the African system

More than 80% of Nigerian parents are angry beed

Aswr......


That your last sentence is extremely very true. ...

And they pass to their children who will pass it to their children......

It's really bad, we need proper sanitisation of our minds and beliefs......

Even superpowers of today have resorted to emotional tools than physical attacks.... that's why there's the tech race...

genq:


According to this one's logic, mothers are not ladies

So mothers are the ladies making simps drool after them just to put the tip inside? Okay

bukatyne:


You want to compare the sacrifices a Nigerian parent makes to the one a Western parent does?

Do Nigerian parents kick their children out at 18 or expect them to earn their keep?

Except very poor people, how many Nigerian kids do you see working during holidays instead of waiting for mommy and daddy to hustle for the next fees?

Do you know how many things a typical Nigerian parent deny themselves of so their children can 'do well'? How many things they are happy forfeiting under the 'guise' of 'my children would make it and do more than this for me'?

You don't start poking holes in a system from the middle.

Do a wholistic overview and make healthy adjustments where necessary.

Does that justify the sense of ownership though?

You know, I've always admired how western parents teach their children how to be independent at a very early age. I really wish African parents can have that much confidence in their children.
Most times, African parents continue to make unnecessary sacrifices, providing for their grown children when they shouldn't have to.
Do you know that some, if not most African parents would rather their children be dependent on them so that they can control them, than have them being independent and making their own decisions?

Biglittlelois:



So mothers are the one making simps drool after them just to put the tip inside? Okay

What's this one saying

Biglittledunce.

From the responses here, we can identify those whom their parents gave so much. No Nigerian child raised in poverty thinks like these ones here, rather they can't wait to help their parents. But when u stress yourself to give the children so much, they think you want to control them.
Hope parents of today are learning. Strike a balance.. meet their needs not their wants so you don't raise entitled kids.

Mariangeles:

Does that justify the sense of ownership though?

You know, I've always admired how western parents teach their children how to be independent at a very early age. I really wish African parents can have that much confidence in their children.
Most times, African parents continue to make unnecessary sacrifices, providing for their grown children when they shouldn't have to.
Do you know that some, if not most African parents would rather their children be dependent on them so that they can control them, than have them being independent and making their own decisions?

I'm bouncing off of that statement, although it's not in line with the topic of the thread, and I just want to correct that thinking.

The western system encourages children to be independent early in life, it isn't quite a western parents thing versus African parents.

For instance, how many Nigerian undergraduates can work while studying for a bachelor's degree in a Nigerian university? The educational system does not support this unlike e.g the American system where working and college education can go hand in hand without affecting grade points. Some could even be studying to acquire two degrees (major & minor) and still hold a part-time job. This is independence already playing out.

Nigerians basically go from secondary school to university, the entrepreneurial ones will probably be involved in a business of buying & selling (which is not a real job to include on a CV as work experience), then when they're done with university, they are out looking for jobs that are no where to be found even with good grades.
The western society you're talking about is not comparable here in so many ways. There's hardly a university or college graduate with a bachelor's degree that won't find a job in his/her field in America, hardly.

Miarose:
From the responses here, we can identify those whom their parents gave so much. No Nigerian child raised in poverty thinks like these ones here, rather they can't wait to help their parents. But when u stress yourself to give the children so much, they think you want to control them.
Hope parents of today are learning. Strike a balance.. meet their needs not their wants so you don't raise entitled kids.

Another false narrative. A lot of you simply see the clip of a family living in a western country and assume they must be rich and the boy was given everything.
That's an average earning family, lower middle-class if we are to go by the floor plan of the house, so I don't expect the child was given everything he wanted, far from it.

The only reason they are having those disagreements is because mama wanted to raise her son like a Nigerian and then he rebelled. It's so much easier to rebel in a western country seeing as the system has cushions. Most Nigerian teenagers would do the exact same thing to their parents, except that they will get thrown out of the house and no uncle, aunty, or welfare system will take them in, so only option is to maintain.

But the kid up there is having none of that. The authorities already had him taken to another home (foster) and even if his mom successfully sent him out of the house, he could take up residence in a shelter.

Summary is, that's not a rich kid who's been pampered and spoilt. Just s typical rebellious teenager.
The truly rich kids don't even misbehave like that when they know they'll be risking the millions in their trust fund and they can get cut off from all their inheritance at any time. Lol

You cannot compare the quality of that boys life to that of the average nigerian child. I am not talking about wealth. Basic food, shelter, low quality education is a luxury to children in Nigeria . Look around you in traffic , in the markets, kids are everywhere hustling for their daily needs. This one has boxes of cereal and spices bought by his mother to throw away. He has eaten , so he has enough energy to grow and rebel.

Unnerve:

Another false narrative. A lot of you simply see the clip of a family living in a western country and assume they must be rich and the boy was given everything.
That's an average earning family, lower middle-class if we are to go by the floor plan of the house, so I don't expect the child was given everything he wanted, far from it.

The only reason they are having those disagreements is because mama wanted to raise her son like a Nigerian and then he rebelled. It's so much easier to rebel in a western country seeing as the system has cushions. Most Nigerian teenagers would do the exact same thing to their parents, except that they will get thrown out of the house and no uncle, aunty, or welfare system will take them in, so only option is to maintain.

But the kid up there is having none of that. The authorities already had him taken to another home (foster) and even if his mom successfully sent him out of the house, he could take up residence in a shelter.

Summary is, that's not a rich kid who's been pampered and spoilt. Just s typical rebellious teenager.
The truly rich kids don't even misbehave like that when they know they'll be risking the millions in their trust fund and they can get cut off from all their inheritance at any time. Lol

Unnerve:

I'm bouncing off of that statement, although it's not in line with the topic of the thread, and I just want to correct that thinking.

The western system encourages children to be independent early in life, it isn't quite a western parents thing versus African parents.

For instance, how many Nigerian undergraduates can work while studying for a bachelor's degree in a Nigerian university? The educational system does not support this unlike e.g the American system where working and college education can go hand in hand without affecting grade points. Some could even be studying to acquire two degrees (major & minor) and still hold a part-time job. This is independence already playing out.

Nigerians basically go from secondary school to university, the entrepreneurial ones will probably be involved in a business of buying & selling (which is not a real job to include on a CV as work experience), then when they're done with university, they are out looking for jobs that are no where to be found even with good grades.
The western society you're talking about is not comparable here in so many ways. There's hardly a university or college graduate with a bachelor's degree that won't find a job in his/her field in America, hardly.

I agree that their system makes it easier.

I think it'll be a very good idea if Nigerian parents can encourage their children to get a menial job after secondary school, work for at least 6months to one year, before going to the university.
That way, they can support their parents by saving up for school as well as having a sense of Independence and responsibility.

Mariangeles:


Does that justify the sense of ownership though?

You know, I've always admired how western parents teach their children how to be independent at a very early age. I really wish African parents can have that much confidence in their children.
Most times, African parents continue to make unnecessary sacrifices, providing for their grown children when they shouldn't have to.
Do you know that some, if not most African parents would rather their children be dependent on them so that they can control them, than have them being independent and making their own decisions?

Is it jobs that have gone round men and women who should fend for families that we would youngsters to have?

What is the hope of an African parent in old age if not the kids they invested in when they were younger?

Societies that are communal would always depend on the young to care for the older ones (it is cycle).

While the African methods are not right, I do not care for the Western methods either.

I believe balance can be achieved with tweaking our system to work for us.

Less kids for one.

Snaagg:


What am i saying

I'm saying i am a dunce.

Good to know.

sassysure:

The product is one mean aggressive society.
U no see as we dey turn out
Sometimes they will beat u soteey u will faint.
And they are ever ready to qoute the bible they don't read

Too proud to apologise or settle down and explain things to the kids.

They will tell you it's the African system

More than 80% of Nigerian parents are angry birds

Too proud to apologize, that's the Nigerian parent right there.
It's your job to forgive them, pander to them and take care of them in their old age because they "suffered for you".
Anyways, I will do right by them because I'm a child of God, not because of their persuasive power.

Biglittlelois:



Good to know.

Stale.