₦airaland Forum

nancyv:
Hello house. Please what's the best route for a family of four to migrate to Canada and get permanent residency?

Kvdag:
Thank you so much. I have a bachelor's degree in applied business computing. My motivation is building and having a sustainable career. I want to be financially stable as well so I don't mind any advice on a professional career to pursue. I came here seeking information from people like you that have been there, experienced it, and being successful in what you do. I don't think nursing is for me. I have no clue about trading either. I will appreciate if you can shed more light on your professional journey here in Canada. I'm sorry if I'm asking too much though, I don't want to make a mistake that will cost me time and money again. I've had sleepiness night to save some money and I needed to invest it wisely on a rewarding career. I've thought about CAPM or PMP certificate in project management, but I need to gather the right information.

Boss13:
Hi MoneySmart,

Glad you took out time to express your opinion. As humans, we are social animals. We are influenced by the actions, ideas and experiences of others. If you understand how the Media and Hollywood works, you would also understand how views are framed. It is opined that experience is the best teacher. However, wise people learn from the experiences of others to avoid mistakes.

I passionately expressed myself because the comment was dangerous. I strongly insulted the individual because he is ignorant and decided to stand by his ignorance. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with being ignorant, it is stupid to stand by an ignorant viewpoint. There are certain situations or topics I am ignorant on or half knowledgeable. However, I do not express an opinion or stick by an ignorant opinion. The category of people I know that take such action are MAD MEN.

In life, it is so easy to give advice especially when you are remote from the situation, unaware of the full information, detached or have no interest in the individuals involved. For example, everybody is a great marriage counselor on other people's marriage other than theirs. It is also funny that people are quick to give advices themselves will NEVER implement. Some people have suggested that abuse victims do not need therapy. How would a victim heal? Often abuse victims tend to become the abusers later on in life. Another example are molested children who become pedophiles. Also, a chronic abuser might be unaware of why he/she is abusive or that they are abusive. Oh yes, you would be shocked.

In other not to beat around the bush or to seem repetitive, I have presented an alternative approach based on the lives of people who initially felt their actions were right, only to discover they made a mistake. Their discovery is as a result of their OWN experience and now they wish they had adopted a different approach. Fiction is different from reality. I can confirm to you that these individuals, the alleged victims who escalated as well as the alleged accused, are experiencing a difficult time.

To conclude, I wasn't interested in the response of the individual and still not interested. This is not a debate. My focus was to clarify how dangerous, ignorant and stupid his comments were and to provide alternative suggestions that works. For victims in abusive marriages - YES, you need therapy whether you want to continue in the marriage/relationship or not and if you think your marriage is important, both you and your partner need therapy and counseling. Also, remember, you chose your partner. Hence, leaving or staying in your relationship/marriage is also a CHOICE. Choices comes with circumstances, either good or bad. So the choice is yours to make and don't blame anyone, other than yourself, for the choices you make in life. This is my last take on this. I believe I have expressed myself enough.

Milllz:
Hey fam.

Looking for ideas or suggestions on couriers for shipping an item like a phone from Canada to Nigeria.

Thanks in advance.

maziude:
The best bet you have is if someone is going to Nigeria, they might help you with such items like phones.

Using Couriers to send such items like phone is not economical. You would be better off buying said phone or item in Nigeria.

However if you are in the buying and selling business (bulk items), then you might want to consider exportation using exportation services.

Milllz:
Thanks.

I’m not sure anyone is going back at this time. So I’m just looking for the best of the uneconomical options.

ewaller:
Hello house, please a quick question.
Can a Spouse of a PR holder in canada book on any of the evacuation flight to Canada. Incase anyone have useful information regarding this please. Thanks lot

SixSigma1:
@ oseoji:
Everything you said here is so on point.

I shake my head when I hear people say that the system here is set up to destroy the family. As far as I am concerned, the system is fair, and it is set up to protect everybody irrespective of your gender (male or female). All you need to do is to know the system; do the right things and your family will be intact.

Apart from the potential death of the person being abused (even in situations where the abuse is not physical), what many people fail to understand is the extent of other damages caused by such abuse (physical, psychological, emotional etc.) on the person being abused, the children and the society. The kids see everything going on and they in turn may become abuser or they feel it is okay to be abused in a relationship. You end up bringing up kids that become abusers and bully people at school or they keep quiet when being abused or bullied at school because they think it is okay to be abused.

Even if the person being abused refuses to call the police, the neighbors may notice that something is wrong and call the police. When you take your kids to see the doctor, or you take them to the hospital, they always ask them if they feel safe at home or if they are being abused at home. Be rest assured that if the kids do not feel safe at home they will say so and you can expect a child protection agent and or police knocking on your door if it is as a result of being abused at home. So, as you can see no matter how much you try to hide the abuse, it will eventually become open. The only solution is NO ABUSE, and everybody will be happy.

Finally, I repeat, if anybody is being abused in their relationship report the abuse to the police or talk to a lawyer. To the abuser, please STOP IT before you destroy yourself with a criminal record and inability to get a job in Canada (see my earlier comments below about this). Think about this before you start abusing somebody (or before committing any type of crime) and claiming the system is set up to destroy you. The system is not destroying you. You are the one destroying yourself.

Boss13:
I have read some comments indicating the justice system is designed to be fair - Yes. However, practically it isn't. Don't take my word for it. Visit the nearest regional court or have a good discussion with a criminal lawyer. Infact I encourage everyone here to do so.

I have a clear understanding of how "out of touch" social media or chat fora can impose on individuals. Nevertheless, it is your responsibility to understand how the justice system operates. I also understand how people enjoy popular talking points, and like I previously wrote I'm less concerned with that, rather advise you strongly against getting yourself into situations you probably do not fully understand.

Is the justice system bias in Canada - Yes. As a matter of fact, your postal code determines the severity of your penalty. Nobody will tell you this till you confront the Crown or a Peace Officer a.k.a the Police.

I will repeat again because the same individual is still repeating the same ignorant talking point. The Police Officer, Crown, Child Services and entire Justice System do not care about you. To them, you are a job and a statistics and they will pursue things from their own agenda - which is primarily to advance their career. I recently discussed with an individual whose wife spanked the son due to poor behavior. The boy went to school and as a kid was discussing with his friends and in few days Child Services called them seeking appointment to visit them. Child services visited separated both parents and children, took the children to a separate room. Luckily for these family, the children are in their early teens and they didnt disclose any information.

Now let me tell you what would have happened if the children had said something the child service worker (case worker) wanted to hear. Immediate separation of kids and relocation to foster homes. The family will have to prove why the kids should return back to them and it is at the discretion of the case worker to say the family is no longer a threat to their children and the environment is healthy for them to function. Also, the case worker, at her discretion, will escalate the case to the police. Please note I said at her discretion because when I say the system can be bias this is part of it. Then there is potential criminal charge against the parents based on the report of the case worker.

For those in abusive relationship and still feel their marriage or relationship is important - go for counseling and also seek clinical therapy. If you feel your marriage/relationship is not important, leave or initiate dissolution of marriage. The Police is not a peace negotiator. However, a marriage counselor can broker peace and a therapist can sort out behavioral issues. I am not saying this for LIKES or to be popular. I am saying this for those who are unaware and to debunk ignorant talking points. Also, if you are tired of your marriage and want instance separation from your partner, you can call the Police tonight. There must not even be an argument, just tell them you fear for your life and you want your partner gone. The Police will be happy to do the job. Don't take my word for it - just dial 9-1-1.

Finally, for those spewing popular talking points and/or opinions for likes, be careful. You have no clue.

legionISproteus:
My opinion on this matter is the same as yours but I lack the words to fully express myself.

SixSigma1 and friends, of all the people you know that has the police invited into their "domestic abuse affairs", how did it end up? Is the family bond stronger today? That's what I mean by saying the system will tear your family apart. Unlike Nigeria where you can kiss and make up, in Canada you and your partner would kiss and make up alright , but that would be with other people and your children will be watching, learning and asking questions to whoever the law deemed fit enough to raise them.

I don't support abusive relationships, but when the police gets involved, say bye bye to your family.

MoneySmart:
For me to make this first post after 5 years on nairaland, you must know that I am very bothered about your approach. I do hope you will know better than attacking me for this post.

Peace!

maziude:
The best bet you have is if someone is going to Nigeria, they might help you with such items like phones.

Using Couriers to send such items like phone is not economical. You would be better off buying said phone or item in Nigeria.

However if you are in the buying and selling business (bulk items), then you might want to consider exportation using exportation services.

Boss13:
Hi MoneySmart,

Glad you took out time to express your opinion. As humans, we are social animals. We are influenced by the actions, ideas and experiences of others. If you understand how the Media and Hollywood works, you would also understand how views are framed. It is opined that experience is the best teacher. However, wise people learn from the experiences of others to avoid mistakes.

I passionately expressed myself because the comment was dangerous. I strongly insulted the individual because he is ignorant and decided to stand by his ignorance. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with being ignorant, it is stupid to stand by an ignorant viewpoint. There are certain situations or topics I am ignorant on or half knowledgeable. However, I do not express an opinion or stick by an ignorant opinion. The category of people I know that take such action are MAD MEN.

In life, it is so easy to give advice especially when you are remote from the situation, unaware of the full information, detached or have no interest in the individuals involved. For example, everybody is a great marriage counselor on other people's marriage other than theirs. It is also funny that people are quick to give advices themselves will NEVER implement. Some people have suggested that abuse victims do not need therapy. How would a victim heal? Often abuse victims tend to become the abusers later on in life. Another example are molested children who become pedophiles. Also, a chronic abuser might be unaware of why he/she is abusive or that they are abusive. Oh yes, you would be shocked.

In other not to beat around the bush or to seem repetitive, I have presented an alternative approach based on the lives of people who initially felt their actions were right, only to discover they made a mistake. Their discovery is as a result of their OWN experience and now they wish they had adopted a different approach. Fiction is different from reality. I can confirm to you that these individuals, the alleged victims who escalated as well as the alleged accused, are experiencing a difficult time.

To conclude, I wasn't interested in the response of the individual and still not interested. This is not a debate. My focus was to clarify how dangerous, ignorant and stupid his comments were and to provide alternative suggestions that works. For victims in abusive marriages - YES, you need therapy whether you want to continue in the marriage/relationship or not and if you think your marriage is important, both you and your partner need therapy and counseling. Also, remember, you chose your partner. Hence, leaving or staying in your relationship/marriage is also a CHOICE. Choices comes with circumstances, either good or bad. So the choice is yours to make and don't blame anyone, other than yourself, for the choices you make in life. This is my last take on this. I believe I have expressed myself enough.

legionISproteus:
One question, after the police has been called, abuser arrested and the law runs its full course. What do you think would happen in that home going forward?

legionISproteus:
I don't support abusive relationships, but when the police gets involved, say bye bye to your family.

sweetrie:
People who support abuse are those that tell you "I don't support abuse o but.... it is minor issue, keep praying, therapy, don't annoy him/her, avoid the person, counseling..."
Just looking for any means to justify the abuse you don't support

listowell:
Men are everyday victims of women abuses. Most men suck them up.

listowell:
Men are everyday victims of women abuses. Most men suck them up. Na when they turn some people to side chicks their eyes go open.

Influential101:
I actually think that men should start speaking up too...Many men endure unending verbal abuse which kills one slowly... You won't be less of a man if you speak up, don't die in silence or try to take law into your own hands!

No form of abuse should be tolerated..

sweetrie:
Why? Haven't men left abusive relationships? Why suck it up? Why not use every resource available to you to leave that situation? So are you saying women should suck it up when men abuse them? And what's with the side chick thing, I don't get it?

listowell:
On the bold, if you are in Canada with open eyes, you will be see it, women turned to side chicks is on the rise unless if you don't see anything there.

If men react or act as women act, no marriage will be standing. That's the truth.

sweetrie:
Ok married women or single women turned to side chicks?
See everyone should protect them selves first. You should not die in marriage. You should enjoy it and not endure slaps or verbal abuse everyday.

listowell:
Ok. There is double standard here. Men abuses are seen as normal but you wonder what kills the men so early after their marriages. Society even sees you as a weakling as other women see you to be unromantic when you complain. To spend husband money dey sweet according to women but quarrel the men all day.

listowell:
Most separated women and some women as they don't wanna import.

Dating and relationships are scary overall.. dangerous ground.

sweetrie:
When you enter dating with ground rules everyone sits right.
No abuse. No cheating. When you start a job you look at the contract, why enter a lifelong venture with no ground rules at all. There should be basic deal breakers, let the person know. I don tire! Let everyone do what they like

sweetrie:
Who the hell are these women who would say someone is unromantic complaining about abuse. We will do better when we stop living for society. Leave society and do what matters to YOU. You can never please society.

listowell:
Same reason women stay in abusive relationships or marriages. Because of what people would say and the children. It's crazy!