Chapter 6

Present Day

John woke up in bed, not knowing where he was for the first few seconds. He heard voices close by and concluded that was what had woken him. He lay there with his eyes closed as he gathered his thoughts. The smell of fresh sheets felt good. He opened his eyes to the white everywhere; white walls, white bed sheets, white rug, and white split unit air conditioner hanging on the wall. There was power outage when Tunde had led him into the room with a lamp yesterday and he hadn’t realized how beautiful the room was.

Footsteps heading in the direction of the room made him sit up in bed. He grabbed the t shirt on the bedside stool and threw it on. He knew it was Tunde heading to the room, but Bola could pop up too.

There was a knock at the door, and he cleared his throat before saying, “what’s up?” The door swung open and Tunde walked in dressed in a grey suit, white shirt, and no tie. “Hmm! You’re heading to work this already?” John Said as he robbed the back of his neck.
Tunde looked at his watch before saying, “I’m even fifteen minutes late. I normally leave the house at 5:30.”
“Oh…okay.”
“Umm…so, Bola’s office hasn’t resumed fully, so she still works from home.”
“Okay.”
“She will drive you down to your apartment later in the day to get some of your things.” John didn’t say anything. He just looked into space, and Tunde continued with, “It’s best you stay with us for at least a week.”
John sighed before saying, “I don’t want to be a burden.”
“Bro, don’t worry about that. It was Bola’s idea. We are not complaining.”
“Okay.”
“I have to rush now.” Tunde said and looked at his watch again before turning around and heading to the door. He stopped half way out, turned around and said, “Yeah, I put some cans of Stout in the fridge for you.”
John laughed lightly as he watched his friend walk out the room. Beer was the last thing on his mind this early in the morning, but he might be in the mood for one or two cans in the afternoon. Tunde and Bola weren’t psychologists, but he was sure that they had discussed between themselves to make him as comfortable as possible and not thoroughly discuss the suicide issue just yet.

John lay back in bed and admired the white pop false ceiling. He had remembered playing Xbox for hours in this same room back in day, but Tunde had refurbished the whole house. It almost felt like he was in a hotel room. Back in school days, he was always the smart one. But now, Tunde was the one with the better life. He was about to go down a path of regretful thoughts when he closed his eyes and started taking deep breaths. Within a few minutes, he drifted off into sleep.

……….

He was awoken by the sound of a knock at the door and his name being called out. He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes as he looked up at the wall clock. It was already mid day. He couldn’t believe he had slept that long. “Come in.” He said in a hoarse voice.

She cracked the door open a bit and her head popped up. “Hi.” She said with a smile on her face. John smiled back. “I just wanted to ask what you would like to eat.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“What did you eat?” John asked as he stretched.
“Bread and egg, but I can make you whatever you want.”
“Thanks. I will have bead and egg too.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” He said with a smile.
“Okay. Let me get to that.” She said as her head disappeared and the door closed. John sat there for a couple of seconds, wondering what to do next. His phone was back at his apartment, and he felt incomplete without it. He got out of bed, took off the blue jeans he had on and walked over to the table in front of him. He got out of his boxer shorts, threw it on the bed, and grabbed the white towel hanging on the back of the chair. A knock at the door startled him and he almost tripped trying to quickly throw the towel around his naked lower body. “I forgot to ask if you like your egg scrambled or normal.” Bola shouted out from the door.
“Umm…scrambled. No, sorry, normal. Fry it normal.”
“Okay.” She said and John stood still. When she didn’t say anything else, he tied the towel properly around his waist, and headed for the door.
There were three rooms in the house; a master’s bedroom and two rooms side by side. John was in one of those rooms, and he had to come out of his room to use the bathroom, which was between his room and the other room. The space between the two rooms had a door cutting the rooms off from the other side of the house, but the door was open, and he could see a shadow moving around. Probably Bola moving from the kitchen to the dining room, he thought to himself as he opened the bathroom door and walked in.

Everything was sparkling white; from the white bathtub, to the white tiled walls and the white wash hand basin, and toilet bowl. As he made to pull off his t shirt, he felt a sharp pain around his right shoulder. He guessed it was an injury from yesterday but wondered why he was just feeling it now. He attempted the move again, this time slowly.

He hung his t shirt and the towel on the shower curtain rod and stepped into the tub. He turned on the shower, and stepped under it with his eyes closed. As the water hit his body, flashes of last night flooded his mind. He realized just then that he had not really taken time out to think of what he did yesterday. The thoughts brought up strong emotions within him, and it felt like everything was happening all over again. His heart raced. He turned off the shower, and sat in the bathtub as he proceeded to take deep breaths.

With time, his heartbeat went back to normal, and the haunting thoughts of yesterday left. But in their place came thoughts of his reality. He wasn’t dead, but he still owed a total of two million Naira. Thoughts of calls from all his creditors and threatening text messages from loan app companies left him overwhelmed. And then, all of a sudden, he bust out crying; uncontrollable sobs, with snot-bottle coming out his nostrils.

He hadn’t realized how loud he was crying or how long he had been crying, but just outside the bathroom door was Bola standing there, with tears rolling down her cheeks.

Damn, got me tearing up.that last bit

Last update got me like.

Dis op z a damn good writer

I feel bad for John

Well done OP

When the wind of change decides to blow you through a rough path, sometimes even courage is not enough to walk through it. However, hope is the heartbeat of the soul, it's the hope that they'll be light at the end of that tunnel that keeps you going..

When you finally survive all that, looking back at your past, you will he grateful to yourself that you didn't give up on yourself, John, don't give up on yourself, as long as there is life, there is Hope.


BRAVO KAYO80

Kay dey write sha.......

Chapter 7

The first thing John grabbed when he walked into his BQ apartment was the white sheet of paper on the center table in his living room. Bola was in the car outside, but he didn’t trust she would stay there. Although it wasn’t obvious, he had noticed she had been trying to never leave him alone for too long.

He read a few lines of the suicide note and couldn’t believe where his mind was at just yesterday. Footsteps outside made him hold his breath and slowly crumple up the paper in his hand. “Uncle John, good afternoon o,” A female voice said outside his door, followed by a knock. He relaxed, put the rumpled up paper in his jeans back pocket and went to the door. “Good afternoon sir.” The light sinned girl at the door said with an expressionless look on her face. She held on to her son as the little boy tried to wonder off. The collar of the black t shit she had on was slack, and it looked like she just rolled out of bed. “I’m collecting the money today sir.” She said and finally let go of the boy. He ran off, chasing a butterfly. She couldn’t have been more than 19, and had taken over the cleaning business from her mom as a means to support her kid.

“Okay.” John said and headed back into his apartment. Even though he was deeply in debt, paying her one thousand Naira monthly was not and never had been a problem. Like her mother before her, she did a great job with cleaning the compound thrice a week, and deserved to get paid when due.

His wallet was right where he had left it when he walked into the room; on the bed, with a little note beside it. He grabbed the paper. He had written a short cryptic note that only a family member would be able to decipher to get his ATM pin code. He tore the paper twice and threw it in the black thrash can by the wall, grabbed his wallet and walked out of the room.

Back at the entrance of his apartment, he had his head down as he went through his wallet. The little boy was back by his mom’s side now. When John looked up and saw the look on the girl’s face, he went through his wallet a little longer, before handing her two Naira notes. “I put 500 Naira on top. Use it to buy biscuit for your son.”
“Thank you. Thank you very much sir.” She said. Her face lit up as she collected the money from him. He stood by the door a couple of seconds, lost in thought for as he watched them walk away. Being able to make someone else smile in his situation made him feel joy. At least he wasn’t as useless as he thought he was. When they walked out of sight, he shut the door and walked back into his room.

He grabbed a black backpack on the floor by his mattress. It was heavy, and he remembered he had planned to go look for a place to charge his laptop the day before. He unzipped the bag and headed over to his wardrobe. The first things he threw in the bag were underwear; four neatly folded white t shirts, and four boxer shorts. Then he placed the bag on the floor, and started grabbing and folding shirts before putting them in the bag. After putting four shirts, he stopped to think. He didn’t know how long he would be with his friend, but it’s better to have too much clothes than too little, so he picked three more shirts, before throwing in two jeans trousers and zipping up the bag.

He was heading out of the room, but stopped by the door, and walked back to the wardrobe. After looking at the remaining shirts on the hanger for a couple of seconds, he picked out a navy blue, double pocket long sleeve shirt and wore it on the white t shirt he had on.
He turned off all the lights in the apartment as he headed out with the bag on his back. A cold wind blew in his face as he walked out of the door, and for some weird reason, he felt like it was a sign of good things to come.

Bola was sitting in the driver’s seat of the black S-Class Mercedes Benz, dressed in fitted brown and purple patterned Ankara gown, looking bored. Her face immediately lit up when she saw him walk out of the gate.
She was smiling when he got in the car, looking really pretty with her made up face. “What?” John asked.
“You haven’t changed. You haven’t changed much since school days.”
“Hmm. Thanks for reminding me of how skinny I still am.” He said as he fastened his seatbelt.
“No. Not that.”She said with a little laugh before continuing with, “It’s just...the way you dress. You still dress the same.”
“Hmm.”
“Well, it’s not really a bad thing.”
“Okay.”
“I’m serious.” She said with a smile to convince John she wasn’t just trying to be nice. ”I actually liked that you always dressed in long sleeve shirts back then when every other guy wore oversized t-shirts.” There was an awkward silence in the car for a couple of seconds before she went on to say, “So…you want to go anywhere else?”
“Hmm. I don’t think so. What about you?”
“Nope.” She said and started up the car with a push of a button. She put the car in reverse, and as she was backing out of the corner she was parked in, she stopped and looked at him. “You remember that rooftop bar you and Tunde used to take me to back in the day?”
“Oh! Yea.” His face lit up as he said so. The place is actually not far from here.”
“And the bar is still there?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm. I don’t mind some nostalgia right now.” She said, looking into space.
“You want to go there?” He asked and she nodded with a smile on her face. “Hmm. Not a bad idea. Okay. I’ll give you directions.”
“Cool.” She said enthusiastically as she pulled out of the spot she was parked in and drove off.

I know that feeling,that feeling you get when you can squeeze out a little cash to give someone even when you don't have enough. It takes someone with a huge heart to do that..

I just hope the two adults won't drink to stupor and end up screwing themselves.. That would be bad..


BRAVO KAYO80

They better drink responsibly so as to avoid shit...
Thanks for the update

Sounds like something that will end up In adultery....

Gloriagee:
Sounds like something that will end up In adultery....

end Will come, then a new beginning
you too get wisdom

Odoogu:


end Will come, then a new beginning
you too get wisdom

Lol

Chapter 8

The place was at the top of a 5 storey building, with a splendid view of the ever busy road that led to the University of Lagos. It had tables for four here and there and tall bar stools by the walls. The walls didn’t make it up to the ceiling, and this gave the place a breezy feel.

It was 3pm, and it was just John and Bola at the spot. They were seated side by side, by the wall, sipping their drink and reminiscing on good old times. John couldn’t remember the last time he felt this great, and he could tell she was having fun too.

Bola used the opportunity of an awkward silence to ask if he wanted to talk about what was really going on. If she had asked him right when they got there, he would have felt too awkward to talk, but the Stout had relaxed him. Also, catching up on old times had made him feel more comfortable around her. “Suicide is not the answer.” He said after a prolonged silence and she looked at him strangely. “I know that is what you would say in response to whatever I say.”
“Well…it is true. No matter what you were going through, suicide is never an option.”
John looked at her for a while before saying, “I want to ask you a question.”
“Okay.”
“If you were at the top of a burning building and you had to choose between getting burnt to death or jumping to your death to avoid the torture of being burnt, what would you do?”
“Hmm. That’s a weird analogy.”
“Just imagine for a second it was a reality, what would you do? Would you rather burn to death, or jump?”
“John, I cannot rationalize suicide with you. This analogy isn’t the same as what you are going through.”
“But that’s how I felt.”
“You can’t equate being in debt with burning.”
“Do you know how much my debt is?”
“Yes. Tunde told me. It’s a lot, but still…I just don’t think that should make you even think of…” She stopped when she saw the reaction on his face. He wasn’t sure she fully understood him. “I know. I know. I can never fully understand you, but don’t think I don’t have problems too. Everyone has problems.” John sighed and took a sip from his cup. “If you think of killing yourself over a debt of two million, what do you want me to do?”
He looked at her for a few seconds before asking, “You in debt too?”
“No. But I’ve been married for ten years without a kid.” She said and kept her gaze on him. He had been so lost in his troubled world he had not realized that his friends didn’t have kids. “Do you know what I go through? You can’t even imagine it.” He was quiet. There was nothing he could say to counter her. After a prolonged silence, she said, “I know someone you can talk to.” He looked up at her but didn’t say anything. She went through her brown leather hand bag for a couple of seconds and pulled out a business card. “She’s a psychologist, and a trained hypnotherapist.”
“She’s a hypnotist?” John said as he collected the charcoal black card from her and examined it.
“Yea, it sounds spooky, but she’s really good with what she does.”
“Okay.”
“She used to work with the artists Tunde managed when he was in the entertainment industry.”
“Hmm. You do realize I’m broke, right?”
“Don’t say that. Words have power.”
He laughed a little before saying, “I know. But…” He was saying and stopped when he didn’t know how to phrase his thoughts.
“Her first session is usually free. Just go and see if you would be comfortable with opening up to her.”
“Okay.” He said, turned the card side to side before putting it in his left breast pocket.
“Promise you will go?”
“I promise.” He said and smiled at her. She smiled back.

Fire

A very weird analogy it is, instead let the smoke choke me to death, lol..

I knew it would end up in advicing him to see a therapist, nobody has talked about helping him to pay his debt, that's the best therapy for him right now..


BRAVO KAYO80...

True friends lay the truth bare. Imagine the rationalization (analogy) of suicide. Most time we are engrossed in our problems, that we forget that others too are suffering. Suicide is never the answer. Thanks Kay for the updates.

Thanks for the update sir

Chapter 9

It seemed odd to him that the therapists office was in a shopping mall, but Bola had told him her ways were unconventional, so it didn’t shock him much. He had noticed she had an accent when they spoke on the phone but couldn’t tell if it was an American accent or Canadian accent. He concluded she was one of those Nigerians that grew up in foreign lands that started traveling back home when the Nigerian entertainment started booming about 20 years ago.

John was dressed casual in a white polo top, black jeans, and brown sandals. The mall was filled with noisy teenagers that had been home for months because of the Covid-19 pandemic. There was a little more peace and quiet when he stepped through the glass doors of the pharmacy. An attendant dressed in white short-sleeve shirt and grey pants stepped up to him with a thermometer gun pointed at his forehead. John waited for him to do his thing, and within a few seconds, he let John walk in. He wondered how accurate the thing really was in checking a person’s temperature.

Jane, the therapist had told him her office was at the back of the Pharmacy when they spoke on the phone, but he wanted to do a little window shopping before locating the place. He walked through an aisle stacked with different types of deodorants. His favorite, Old Spice caught his eye. He walked over to pick up the red container to check for the price. From the corner of his eye, he noticed someone behind him. When he put the deodorant back on the shelf, and turned around, an attendant was standing there, smiling at him. “Sir, can I help you find what you’re looking for?” The teenage girl said in the most polite tone.

“No. Thank you.” He said and kept looking through the shelf. She went on to the other side of the aisle and started rearranging some things that didn’t need rearranging. “Actually, I’m going to Dr. Jane’s office, can you direct me to the place?” John said on second thought.
“Oh. Yes. Please follow me.” The girl said enthusiastically as she led John down the aisle. They navigated through a maze of aisles till they got to a white door at the other end of the pharmacy that looked like it led to a store room. The girl knocked on it, opened and popped her head through the door. She spoke for a few seconds, and then got out of the way for John to step in.

The first thing he noticed when he walked into the office was how cold it was. The pharmacy was air-conditioned, but this room was freezing. “Good afternoon.” The brown skinned slender lady with glasses said as she got off her seat to greet him. “You kept to time. That’s good.” She said as she looked at her wrist watch. She had on a white t shirt underneath the blue blazer she was wearing, and her braids were neatly packed to the back. “Have a seat please.” She said with a hand gesture at the chair in front of her. It was a small office; about ten by twelve feet in size, rugged, grey painted walls, with a table, four chairs, and a couch facing the door. Hanging above the couch was an imitation of Leonardo da Vinci’s masterpiece painting, The Mona Lisa. John took his seat, his eyes focused on the portraits of the Governor Sanwo-Olu and president Buhari up on the wall in front of him. The office was both formal and informal at the same time, he liked it.

She pointed the air conditioner remote at the split unit up on the wall to her right and pressed a button a few times. “So, how are you doing John?” She said with a smile as she placed the remote back on the wooden table.

“I’m fine.” He said. He had expected her to call him by his last name, with a Mister in front of it, but this was good. It made him more relaxed. But still, looking straight at her made him a bit uncomfortable. She was quite attractive, with full luscious lips and he was having all sorts of thoughts. John looked back before saying, “can I sit on the couch?”
“Yes. Of course.”
He got off the chair and headed over to the couch. It was a three sitter. He first sat facing the door, and then he turned to one side so he could see her.
“You can sit however you want.”
“Can I…” John was saying and stopped to lay on the couch, with his head on the arm rest, facing the ceiling.
“Anyway you want; as long as you’re comfortable.” She said with a little laugh at the end. “So…I usually start my sessions with meditation.”
“Okay.”
“Nothing out of the ordinary; just follow my simple instructions. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Please close your eyes and breathe in.” She said in a low, almost seductive voice. “Breathe out.” She let a few seconds go by before repeating, “Breathe in. Breathe out.” She repeated these words a couple of times, and stopped. John kept the breathing going; feeling more and more relaxed as he did so.
“Keep taking deep breaths. Concentrate on your breathing.” Her voice was so soothing and relaxing to John. “The goal is to empty your mind.” She said and waited for a couple of seconds before saying, “Don’t fight the random thoughts. Let them be, and they will pass away. Just focus on your breathing.”

He did exactly as she said, and with time, the thoughts on his mind became less and less. He was at that point between consciousness and sleep, and he felt like he was going to fall asleep, but he kept hearing her voice, and that kept him awake. It was a simple exercise, but the feeling was great.

She went quiet for a couple of minutes, and then she said, “Let’s begin.”

Thanks for the update

Waiting 4 Chapter 10.

I initially planned for the story to be 8-10 chapters, but things have changed. It is going to end up being 14-16 chapters.

kayo80:
I initially planned for the story to be 8-10 chapters, but things have changed. It is going to end up being 14-16 chapters.

You're doing well.

Pandora's box is about to be opened. Thank Kay for the update.

John is about to empty his can of anxiety and all that is troubling him.. He is already fantasizing about his therapist, lol..Still, I wait..

Thanks for the addition in the chapters..


BRAVO KAYO80..

Thanks for the update

Let's begin!

Oremeyii:
Let's begin!

we have to at least get to the end, before we begin how you doing...?

Odoogu:


we have to at least get to the end, before we begin
how you doing...?

To the end before we begin ke?

I'm good, it's nice to hear from you
How are you?

Oremeyii:
To the end before we begin ke?
I'm good, it's nice to hear from you How are you?

was referring to the title of the book the end must come B4 the beginning. am good anyways.

Odoogu:


was referring to the title of the book
the end must come B4 the beginning.
am good anyways.

Ohhhhhh
*chuckles*

Chapter 10

There was heavy traffic heading back to Bola and Tunde’s house after the therapy session. He sat at the back of the black Camry he had hired, relaxed and not at all bothered by the rush hour traffic, because he was still basking in the euphoria he had felt during the session with Dr. Jane. He had finally realized what was wrong with him all these years. Damn, she’s good, he thought to him.

After relaxing him with meditation, she had asked him to speak freely about the problems he was facing. He poured out his heart to her for about half an hour, feeling great finally having someone to talk to; someone that was professional enough not to judge him.

She went on to ask him a series of questions. At first, he thought it would all lead nowhere. It seemed pointless, till he found himself talking about an incidence that happened when he was 13, in secondary school. As he spoke about the incidence, he was gripped with fear. It was as if he was reliving it all over again.
When John was in JSS3, he was a video game freak. Back then in the 90s, it was all about Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo in his neighborhood. John had the Sega Genesis and he would play the video game every chance he got. He would sometimes run away from school and sneak into his house after his parents had gone off to work, just to play the game. His obsession was quite unhealthy.

He got in trouble when he did a cartridge swap with one of his classmates; Mortal Kombat for his The Little Mermaid game. He went ahead to lend a boy in his neighborhood the Mortal Kombat when he went off to boarding school, and that was the end of it. He never got the game back. It was always one excuse or the other. The owner of the Mortal Kombat game, although in the same class with John, was older and two times his size. After a while, he started beating up John every time he asked for his game and didn’t get any tangible answer from John.

The boy later asked John to pay up three thousand Naira if he knew he couldn’t get him the game. That was a lot of money for John at that age. He had never even owned a thousand Naira in his entire life at that point. This tormented him for weeks, and months. The thought of owing 3,000 Naira was on his mind twenty four hours of the day, seven days a week. That was all he could think of, because he knew another beating was coming up the next time he ran into his tormentor.

Dr. Jane let him know the vicious cycle of always being in financial debt started with that incidence. She explained to him that the subconscious mind was like a tape player with many programs; each program controlled a part our lives. Programs in the subconscious mind are programmed in the mind over a period of time. When we have a particular thought over and over, it creates a neural pathway in our brain, and a program is formed. A habit is formed.

One of John’s programs was recorded during the period he was in debt of three thousand Naira, and that program had played itself out throughout his life till date; over and over. No matter what he did, as long as that program was still in his subconscious mind, he would always end up in debt. The only way to get out of that loop was to record a new program in his mind that would counter the negative program of debt. And she had thought him how to do that. It all made sense now, and he wondered why he was hearing this for the first time.

His phone beeped in his pocket and he realized he hadn’t touched it or had the urge to check it for about half an hour. That was how joyous he was. He pulled out the black Android phone and saw the notification was a text from one of the loan apps he was owed, reminding him of the amount of days he been defaulting. For the first time in a long while, he seemed unfazed by this. He still didn’t know how he was going to pay up the debt, but he was confident a way would present itself very soon.