₦airaland Forum

Guys get in here, if there is anything that must end in 2020, please let this be number 1.

This not a REDPILL thread, while I am not against redpill, I'll say I'm a realist and I believe everything should be done in the right way.

1. Parasitic Relationships

After studying most of the relationships around me for some time, I realised 80 percent of the relationships today are parasitic, and to be honest I don't blame anybody.
Nobody wants to date who they cannot gain anything from and its totally understandable.
To get to the root of this, let us consider some things, Nigeria is arguably the poverty capital of the world, with alot of people plunging more into poverty daily, everyone is looking for a way out.
That is why in Nigeria today, as a guy if you don't have money, nobody will give you a second look. But do not allow someone to drag you back into poverty.

For this thread , I'll like to concentrate more on guys. I may be doing a girls thread in the future. I'll say if you are a guy and let's say you and you babe went for a date, unfortunately, your card ain't working and you do not have cash, if you cannot look up to your babe to cover up for you at that moment, you are in the wrong relationship.

Relationships should not be a poverty alleviation scheme, you need to continue ask yourself what your partner brings to the table, and I am not talking about sex here.

In the same vein too, everything is not about money, if she cannot contribute in cash, how about in kind?

Let me tell you a major reason why I have stepped down from relationships for a while, my last girlfriend used to be my crush for years. I met her when I was in 500 level in the university, then I was a student without job, I couldn't. even boast of #2000 in my account.
I chased her for a long time back then but she didn't even look at my side.

Fast forward 2 years later, I finished school, got a good job and when she realised I was earning as little as 250k per month, she literally dragged me into a relationship, a parasitic relationship.
I thank God I was able to realise the time bomb on time, she was not contributing anything to the relationship, while I wasnt even bothered about the money, I realised we were miles apart in terms of ambitions too.

I tried to encourage her to get a job too, but what made me call her empty was when I tried to come up with a CV for her. We got to the skills part and this girl had nothing to boast of , I mean literally nothing, not even Microsoft word, or excel or maybe she had worked as a sales girl before. All she had was the course she studied in school.

I wanted to leave Nigeria for a greener pasture, do my masters , build a business and all that. She was empty, she couldn't even relate with me when I discuss business prospects with her, she was not aware of how nigerian youths are being under utilized in Nigeria. All she knew was 'how we should send messages to ourselves' , 'call each other's and all these lovely dovey stuffs that don't last.

Then, I realised most girls are like that, they are beautiful- thanks to God and their parents , know how to dress well but cannot contribute anything to move your life from point A to point B.

2. Symbiotic relationships

This type is very rare today, just like the biological term it was coined from, every body wins. While I take from you, I also contribute to you. It is the healthiest form of relationship I know and from that I have noticed, there is always mutual respect here.

Let me give you an example, I have a girl-friend , and while we are not dating because of religious difference and my belief that some friendships are better left as friendships. I'll say we have a very symbiotic relationship
When I spoke to her about having multiple sources of income, she was the one that opened my eye to a baring salon opportunity in her area.
She made me realise how much I could be making if I invested in that business.
On my end, I developed her interest in programming and encouraged her to participate in a lifetime training opportunity. Today she works as a software engineer and earn so much, even though she studied sociology in school.
This is just one of the examples of how symbiosis works between us.

Conclusion
I made this thread for guys because I got irritated by the constant complaints I get from guys on this platform. A guy once said he earned 100k per month and placed his girlfriend on a 30k per month stipend. Throughout the thread I couldn't see how the so called girl was contributing to his life, but he was here ranting about how she was denying him sex.
I mean, 100k is not a bad income in a country where the minimum wage is still as low as 30k, but how do you hope to lift yourself out of poverty when you deliberately invited a parasite into your life.

And don't get it twisted, guys take care of your woman , put her on a monthly stipend if you like , but make sure she deserves it, make sure she is contributing something to your life too. It's not just about being beautiful or sex or whatever , it is about helping yourself too. And I strongly believe only guys with low self esteem end up in parasitic relationships.

I'll be opening a WhatsApp group soon to see how we can encourage ourselves to do the right things in relationships. It is about doing the right thing please, not redpill.

If you are interested, drop your number and name and I'll add you.

Lovely.

your first point is so on point. nowadays girls are too lazy to improve themselves but wanting to settle down. asked her what she has to offer me in a probable marriage and she couldn't find any words. so small minded and no skills, no money making traits, nothing but she's crowing out loud she wants to settle down with me.

I don see the parasitic and leech mentality and figured we're miles apart na just fine she fine. I'm calling it off next month 2days to her bday. I know she'd be telling me soon to give her something for bday but I go burst her bubbles.

21cents:
your first point is so on point. nowadays girls are too lazy to improve themselves but wanting to settle down. asked her what she has to offer me in a probable marriage and she couldn't find any words. so small minded and no skills, no money making traits, nothing but she's crowing out loud she wants to settle down with me.

I don see the parasitic and leech mentality and figured we're miles apart na just fine she fine. I'm calling it off next month 2days to her bday. I know she'd be telling me soon to give her something for bday but I go burst her bubbles.

I think as a man, you just make your life easier by not adding a parasitic girl to your life

I love that. Divorce your partner if you are on different path

It is well