₦airaland Forum

ednut1:
when you were nacking what were u expecting Sell one kidney

OK sir.

jaszplus12:
Young man, when I was in the university I fell into similar situation and fear the unknown and pride and foolishness and the thought that it's going to be a burden didn't allow me to sleep well....we couldn't go through with telling our parents! They will kill us! So we thought but really would they have
Unfortunately after 5th month she miscarried and though we were "relieved" we still think it was all the stress that made it happen.
Why am I saying this, chill out bro... gather your wits together and man up! That child is yours and please start now to plan to wed the mother. Dont ever think she's not wife material, Work together and don't let anger and frustrating situations ruin your future.
Whatever decision you make together now will make or mar your future.
Today after 26 years I'm married to that same girl and we have kids and peace of mind. Only regret is "we should not have allowed FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN to steal away our first child!
Good luck bro...
FEAR NOT....

Thank you very much sir!

When she was asked if she'd marry me, she said "No", even her mum said she can't allow her daughter to marry someone outside her Tribe.

theButterfly:
Now is not the time to be depressed. Man up, stay strong and take responsibility for your actions.

Yea thanks. I'm trying..

OlawaleBammie:
Av never had a prior experience tho... but i bliv it wil always b hard at d beginning, especially wen the situation is stil embryonic. u wil just kp try bro, do d one u re capable of doing, the one u can't do let dem no dat u dont hav d strnght in a more polite way and am sure u guys wil manoeuvre thins soon

its hard o. lol.. but God dey. Thanks.

Richy4:


The way you were petting the guy and making his irresponsibility look really nice is so heart warming.. u were even giving him a sermon of proofing his love for "the wife" but he deliberately omitted or totally forgot to tell you that he was only sowing a wild oats.. Indians call it tasting the cuisine. It got nothing to do with marriage.

I swear I like your type a lot. U will make a wonderful Y2K dad.. But if my kid should do something faddish like this, I will hit the roof first before calming..

I'm not irresponsible.

baby124:
Why will Nigerian nurses tell this couple that abortion is dangerous? Should they not route them to a safe place where they could get it done? Why force people who are not ready for a child to have one? Yes, they have made the mistake of pregnancy. But appropriate counseling is key and guidance on their choice to either keep or get rid of the baby should be done too.

As for you OP, if that baby was truly yours, no family member in their right mind will decide to block you! Even if you are poor. Just focus on your final year and try to do very well. So that you can take care of your responsibility when it is called for. Also save money to do DNA test as soon as you can. I find it suspicious that the whole family is trying to run from you all of a sudden.

Goodluck on your final year. Don’t worry, everything will work out in it’s time.

Super thanks for the encouragement

hunterezi:
Thank you very much sir!

When she was asked if she'd marry me, she said "No", even her mum said she can't allow her daughter to marry someone outside her Tribe.

Hehehehe don't worry bro, there's nothing negotiations and persuasion cannot achieve!
What's important is the desire to achieve great things in life with you wife and baby. See, what a lot of people don't see is that the future is better than today. If she or her parents think she can just walk into another man with your child and be better off, then let them think again.
You do your homework, however you convinced her to sleep with you...try again to convince her to marry you....no event no history! God bless you both

Impressed with some comments here.

calgaryFriend:
Is abortion legal in Nigeria ?

It’s not legal. But we have passed the stage where hangar is needed to abort. Especially a 2-week pregnancy.

baby124:
It’s not legal. [s] But we have passed the stage where hangar is needed to abort. Especially a 2-week pregnancy.[/s]

I have edited that appropriately...

jaszplus12:
Hehehehe don't worry bro, there's nothing negotiations and persuasion cannot achieve!
What's important is the desire to achieve great things in life with you wife and baby. See, what a lot of people don't see is that the future is better than today. If she or her parents think she can just walk into another man with your child and be better off, then let them think again.
You do your homework, however you convinced her to sleep with you...try again to convince her to marry you....no event no history! God bless you both

I really appreciate your kind words sir. Gracias!

hunterezi:
Good day Nairalanders ,

Happy Independence Day to everyone.


I'm a final year student in a university. In my early 20s, earlier this year I had sth with a girl and it turned into pregnancy.

When the pregnancy was two weeks, she told me about it and she opined we flush it.

We went to different Nurses and they all told us not to abort because it's dangerous.

She managed the pregnancy till the 5th month until her mother got to know about it (Her mum works at Eko, she only stays at home on Sunday's).

They called me, I went to them, they scolded me and did the normal things a normal parent would do.

On my own family part, Dad is a retiree(Hes got no money), and I'm the only son. Got two elder sisters. They abandoned me since they heard about everything.

Now, this is the week she's gonna deliver and I'm yet to provide anything for the girl and the baby.. The little money I get from. menial jobs, my school projects and final year wahala is taking it.

The problem here now is.. Her family told her to block me, they all did too. She sent me a msg that she won't allow me see the baby again until I do something.

I'm just depressed here and don't know what steps to take.

I plea on Nairalanders with similar experiences to advice me on what to do cos I'm losing it already.

She blocked you until you do something, like marriage rites or what ❓

Look, don't commit into any marriage yet

Keep visiting them and be humble, be ready to accept insult and disgraceful act

That shouldn't bother you

But if they tell you outright that you should stop coming to their home, simply respect yourself and obey

Continue to communicate with her if you guys are communicating

One day, you will be needed

As for your siblings, don't pick offence with them

Just manage everything and every one, it will get fine one day

Just focus on your studies

For her delivery, her mum will sort her out when the time comes

hunterezi:
Good day Nairalanders ,

Happy Independence Day to everyone.


I'm a final year student in a university. In my early 20s, earlier this year I had sth with a girl and it turned into pregnancy.

When the pregnancy was two weeks, she told me about it and she opined we flush it.

We went to different Nurses and they all told us not to abort because it's dangerous.

She managed the pregnancy till the 5th month until her mother got to know about it (Her mum works at Eko, she only stays at home on Sunday's).

They called me, I went to them, they scolded me and did the normal things a normal parent would do.

On my own family part, Dad is a retiree(Hes got no money), and I'm the only son. Got two elder sisters. They abandoned me since they heard about everything.

Now, this is the week she's gonna deliver and I'm yet to provide anything for the girl and the baby.. The little money I get from. menial jobs, my school projects and final year wahala is taking it.

The problem here now is.. Her family told her to block me, they all did too. She sent me a msg that she won't allow me see the baby again until I do something.

I'm just depressed here and don't know what steps to take.

I plea on Nairalanders with similar experiences to advice me on what to do cos I'm losing it already.

Forget that child and move on. The baby is an error. At least the girl's family have made it easier for you to walk away.

Evangkatsoulis:
Forget that child and move on. The baby is an error. At least the girl's family have made it easier for you to walk away.

It is you that is the error. Monkey banana.

Hard times
Bitter truth
U wan hear am?
I'd tell U what I think .
Iya ma je ori e gan
I mean U will suffer a lot
Everybody would ignore U. Aje!!!!
As in even Ur blood go leave U at the moment.
Unfortunately, your papa no get money (another round of suffer 4 U). I swear U and suffer Una go wear the same trouser. Lmao
Lool.
The good news is if U are focused, extra hardworking and extra prayerful. God fit open way 4 U. Mind U, U no get any choice. As in dem no born Ur mama well make U no do well. U HAVE TO DO WELL AT ALL COST. BY ANY LEGAL MEANS POSSIBLE INCLUDING YAHOO YAHOO IF U CAN. IF NOT AYE E TI BAJE FINALLY NI YEN.
U should not rely on Ur educational qualification again, Labour market don pass that level especially a poor man's child like U. Na God's special grace e go take.
Do not be depressed. Rather be motivated
on a parting note, I wish U the best of luck.
Bless U

elektra:
It is you that is the error. Monkey banana.

So a baby that came from an unplanned pregnancy is not an error?

hunterezi:
Good day Nairalanders ,

Happy Independence Day to everyone.


I'm a final year student in a university. In my early 20s, earlier this year I had sth with a girl and it turned into pregnancy.

When the pregnancy was two weeks, she told me about it and she opined we flush it.

We went to different Nurses and they all told us not to abort because it's dangerous.

She managed the pregnancy till the 5th month until her mother got to know about it (Her mum works at Eko, she only stays at home on Sunday's).

They called me, I went to them, they scolded me and did the normal things a normal parent would do.

On my own family part, Dad is a retiree(Hes got no money), and I'm the only son. Got two elder sisters. They abandoned me since they heard about everything.

Now, this is the week she's gonna deliver and I'm yet to provide anything for the girl and the baby.. The little money I get from. menial jobs, my school projects and final year wahala is taking it.

The problem here now is.. Her family told her to block me, they all did too. She sent me a msg that she won't allow me see the baby again until I do something.

I'm just depressed here and don't know what steps to take.

I plea on Nairalanders with similar experiences to advice me on what to do cos I'm losing it already.

You will be fine, now you have a reason to hustle legitimately and make money. Focus on the things that matter, do not stop trying to keep in touch with your baby mama and her family, your life is yet to start you have a long road ahead best of luck

Evangkatsoulis:
Forget that child and move on. The baby is an error. At least the girl's family have made it easier for you to walk away.

Nah. the baby girl is not an error. ThNks. �

LyfeJennings:
Hard times
Bitter truth
U wan hear am?
I'd tell U what I think .
Iya ma je ori e gan
I mean U will suffer a lot
Everybody would ignore U. Aje!!!!
As in even Ur blood go leave U at the moment.
Unfortunately, your papa no get money (another round of suffer 4 U). I swear U and suffer Una go wear the same trouser. Lmao
Lool.
The good news is if U are focused, extra hardworking and extra prayerful. God fit open way 4 U. Mind U, U no get any choice. As in dem no born Ur mama well make U no do well. U HAVE TO DO WELL AT ALL COST. BY ANY LEGAL MEANS POSSIBLE INCLUDING YAHOO YAHOO IF U CAN. IF NOT AYE E TI BAJE FINALLY NI YEN.
U should not rely on Ur educational qualification again, Labour market don pass that level especially a poor man's child like U. Na God's special grace e go take.
Do not be depressed. Rather be motivated
on a parting note, I wish U the best of luck.
Bless U

Thanks brother. Na God go help boys

Alfred74:
You will be fine, now you have a reason to hustle legitimately and make money. Focus on the things that matter, do not stop trying to keep in touch with your baby mama and her family, your life is yet to start you have a long road ahead best of luck

Thank You.

hunterezi:
Nah. the baby girl is not an error. ThNks. �

Did the op plan to have a baby? If not, it is an error.

.

jaszplus12:
Young man, when I was in the university I fell into similar situation and fear the unknown and pride and foolishness and the thought that it's going to be a burden didn't allow me to sleep well....we couldn't go through with telling our parents! They will kill us! So we thought but really would they have
Unfortunately after 5th month she miscarried and though we were "relieved" we still think it was all the stress that made it happen.
Why am I saying this, chill out bro... gather your wits together and man up! That child is yours and please start now to plan to wed the mother. Dont ever think she's not wife material, Work together and don't let anger and frustrating situations ruin your future.
Whatever decision you make together now will make or mar your future.
Today after 26 years I'm married to that same girl and we have kids and peace of mind. Only regret is "we should not have allowed FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN to steal away our first child!
Good luck bro...
FEAR NOT....

I just came here to update the thread. Lol.

My little girl is 1 year 4 months today. And everything has been good.

Got a job immediately I graduated and that was my saving grace.. ahh

LyfeJennings:
Hard times
Bitter truth
U wan hear am?
I'd tell U what I think .
Iya ma je ori e gan
I mean U will suffer a lot
Everybody would ignore U. Aje!!!!
As in even Ur blood go leave U at the moment.
Unfortunately, your papa no get money (another round of suffer 4 U). I swear U and suffer Una go wear the same trouser. Lmao
Lool.
The good news is if U are focused, extra hardworking and extra prayerful. God fit open way 4 U. Mind U, U no get any choice. As in dem no born Ur mama well make U no do well. U HAVE TO DO WELL AT ALL COST. BY ANY LEGAL MEANS POSSIBLE INCLUDING YAHOO YAHOO IF U CAN. IF NOT AYE E TI BAJE FINALLY NI YEN.
U should not rely on Ur educational qualification again, Labour market don pass that level especially a poor man's child like U. Na God's special grace e go take.
Do not be depressed. Rather be motivated
on a parting note, I wish U the best of luck.
Bless U

hunterezi:
Thank you very much sir!

When she was asked if she'd marry me, she said "No", even her mum said she can't allow her daughter to marry someone outside her Tribe.

How she go marry U
Can U marry yourself
U a broke Hommie'
Work on yourself first and make the mula

LyfeJennings:
How she go marry U
Can U marry yourself
U a broke Hommie'
Work on yourself first and make the mula

Ogbeni I'm not broke!

I can provide for my needs. If you get better offer, put me through instead. Cheers!

hunterezi:
I just came here to update the thread. Lol.

My little girl is 1 year 4 months today. And everything has been good.

Got a job immediately I graduated and that was my saving grace.. ahh

I rejoice with you sir!! CONGRATULATIONS!! God will do more for you as you trust him daily!
Cheers and best wishes to your family! I'm really glad....

LyfeJennings:
Hard times
Bitter truth
U wan hear am?
I'd tell U what I think .
Iya ma je ori e gan
I mean U will suffer a lot
Everybody would ignore U. Aje!!!!
As in even Ur blood go leave U at the moment.
Unfortunately, your papa no get money (another round of suffer 4 U). I swear U and suffer Una go wear the same trouser. Lmao
Lool.
The good news is if U are focused, extra hardworking and extra prayerful. God fit open way 4 U. Mind U, U no get any choice. As in dem no born Ur mama well make U no do well. U HAVE TO DO WELL AT ALL COST. BY ANY LEGAL MEANS POSSIBLE INCLUDING YAHOO YAHOO IF U CAN. IF NOT AYE E TI BAJE FINALLY NI YEN.
U should not rely on Ur educational qualification again, Labour market don pass that level especially a poor man's child like U. Na God's special grace e go take.
Do not be depressed. Rather be motivated
on a parting note, I wish U the best of luck.
Bless U

OG.

Although this thread is old but I love many of what has been said here.

That's exactly what happens when guys advice their fellow guys.


I'm happy for OP.

Sincerely, intertribal marriage with Igbo can be so difficult. They are always holding on to the kids like kilode.

Karleb:
Although this thread is old but I love many of what has been said here.

That's exactly what happens when guys advice their fellow guys.


I'm happy for OP.

Sincerely, intertribal marriage with Igbo can be so difficult. They are always holding on to the kids like kilode.

No o. She's from Abeokuta and I'm from Delta state. Her family have been supportive and I think their narration have changed.

The baby is so beautiful her granny loves carrying her about. Lol

hunterezi:
No o. She's from Abeokuta and I'm from Delta state. Her family have been supportive and I think their narration have changed.

The baby is so beautiful her granny loves carrying her about. Lol

Money Stop Nonsense!

jaszplus12:
I rejoice with you sir!! CONGRATULATIONS!! God will do more for you as you trust him daily!
Cheers and best wishes to your family! I'm really glad....

Thanks for the kind words then. It really helped a lot.