₦airaland Forum

franchasng:
You are talking nonsense, I personally sent my wife and baby away to a saner country for a purpose.


Most wealthy men all over the world don't spend much time with their family, only broke and insecure men glue on to their wife daily humping her and manufacturing babies yearly.


How many days does Bill Gates and Melinda spend in a whole year when he is busy touring the world for business and philanthropy


Stop thinking like ancient men.


You can actually live in a different country from your wife and still enjoy a blissful marriage than those who live with their wife. I am a living testimony to that okay

anonymousposts:
I will usually not reply to many things here but in order to help you and make you understand that it is not the end of the world, I will share my experience and a little advice
I had a similar experience and it is a common scam in the UK. I went through a divorce 6 years ago and I know a friend who is going through one at the moment too
Do not mind the people calling you names - most times, things happen in spite of our cleverness and good intentions -m just listen here

So in my own case - I tried my best to make the marriage work, I put my ex in nursing school - scratch that - college to gain qualification for nursing school then nursing school. I also helped sort out her immigration issues. Those two things cost a lot of money for those who know

I was already a top-ten percent earner in the UK( that starts at £100,000 p.a as at then BTW), never cheated, watched out for her best interest and I was a Christian leader as at then. In fact, she was the only reason I couldn't buy a property earlier than I did, I wanted her to rise to meet similar financial status as mine. She and her mother used to call me "oloore mi" - my helper translated from Yoruba

Then as soon as she started making a little headway she became really nasty, setting me up every time, throwing me out of the house at will.
I, all of a sudden became a stingy man( funny enough I am nearly sure I was among the highest-paid all around us then and all income went into the marriage and I even took money from my mother at times)
My mum became a witch to her (it was my mum that encouraged me to put her in nursing school o, she herself being a nurse. )
I became the lazy guy to her- meanwhile, I was paying an au-pair £700 per month to look after her and our kids whilst I worked o(an aupair is the UK equivalent of house help in Nigeria ) aupair clened cooked etc, she sat pretty

- to earn £100k, you have to wake up really early to go to the city and come back late oh - and loads of traveling

I was thinking, I'm a Christian I didn't want to get a divorce. You see, I worked for a multi-national Oil and Gas firm, and being a friendly and humble guy, I will usually go downstairs to chat with the dinner ladies and among them a very beautiful, mixed race 23 years old who really liked me and wanted to date me then even but genuinely I wanted to honour God, despite going weeks without sex as a married man

Then I bought a house. I genuinely wanted to add her name but because she hadn't attained her PR status banks refused(she had exceptional leave) and then the set up was now too much

Don't go to Nigeria though. Stick it out
travel on vacation
You will be ok

mpire:
Exactly, and pure wickedness. How do you have 4 children, be sleeping with your husband and still be sleeping with old boyfriends while planning to leave your husband in your head for over a decade! You take a guy's blood and sweat and give it to your boyfriend and few years down the road they get cancer and people who don't know why are saying what a nice woman that didn't deserve it....

ibedun:
House you built in the UK?

We need to stay away from Nairaland sometimes

bubu2019:
Back to where?
Brother stay there
Better stay and even die there than to come back at least no kidnapping or Fulani killers ther

baralatie:
Shey you know the person you quote so?

See how you fall hand

IjeBos:
You are partially right. Have a friend who refused to marry his 8 year g/f even though they had a child years ago. They broke up recently. He got out of alimony but still pays her $5k a month in child support even though he has 50/50 custody and pays most of the expenses. In the end he still got off easy. Best to research well before getting married/having children.

pappilo:
It is too late. After the arrest and before I was charged she had actually gone to the police and made a statement saying she wanted to be no part of the prosecution (found this out during discovery/disclosure) but about 3 months later, she went back and said she wanted to support the prosecution.

My ex wife is/was not a bad person. She is totally into her new man so will do anything he says. He is the one pulling the strings. What kind of a man moves into a married woman's home when he was part of the reason the woman's husband was barred from the house?

I begged my ex wife, cried sent people she respects, pastor e.t.c. but no success. I can kind of understand he predicament though. She probably doesnt want to lose her new man. There are things that may come out during the trial that will very damaging for her but despite being aware of this she is determined to see it through.

I am past the worst and this trial and potential criminal record doesnt faze me. If I didnt kill myself in 2020 when I was at the lowest I have been as a human being, anything that befalls me now na moimoi.

Depression is real o. I had proper plans of how to top myself. Thank goodness that on some days I was just so scared and other days I had someone to talk sense into my head.

ibedun:
Unsettled beings, nothing is ever enough even if you forfeit your life for them.

I blame foolish men who don’t understand they alone are enough. The world is full anyways so children don’t really matter as much as they use to.

ibedun:
Legitimate what? Nonsense! Go and marry a Nigerian woman in UK,US or Canada as see your life

petitejolie:
5k a month ke ? Is he that rich?

oluayebenz:
5k pounds lol
On a single kid

petitejolie:
5000pounds? Is he bill gate? Maybe he earns alot o .

ibedun:
People like you can’t make it in Naija. Your brain is so full of Naija problems that you are blind to the opportunities abound, Shame!

richie240:
by 'legitimate' sex, I meant guiltless/'holy' sex devoid of formication/adultery.

SweetCunt97:
You got me wrong. Having money to offer only cannot keep a woman. Seems u hate women ryt? Anyway that's ur cup of tea

grafixdon:
46

ibedun:
You are wrong, I don’t hate women but I am very sensitive to their intentions and tomfoolery. They are ever so calculating when they come into contact with men and it is usually the case with matured ladies (worse among those from poor countries like Nigeria). I don’t like that.

ibedun:
Ignorant fellow stop talking shit! What kind of useless mentality is this? I am 100% sure you’ve never traveled anywhere, otherwise you wouldn’t be talking this rubbish.

SURElee:
You mentioned domestic violence as one of the many allegations against your friend.

Now, if he wasn't violent towards his wife, he wouldn't have been arrested or She wouldn't have been scared when he came to see his kids. It was the fear of a possible violent altercation that led her to calling to police.

Nigerian men have to know that what they do to women in Naija here and get applauded, they will get the boot for it over there.


I won't comment further , because you are simply giving a one sided report of what you have heard the man say. You haven't heard the wife's side of the story.

It takes two to make marriage work.

Your friend should sit and truthfully analyse what went wrong and take steps to better his life. It is either they make up or go separate ways in which he is healthy, mentally and emotionally stable even after the divorce.
He need to stay alive and be stable upstairs , he wouldn't be the first in this case.

Heathrow44:
The reason women don't divorce men like that here in Nigeria is because the marital laws are still much on protecting the men a little, the moment this marital laws changes to be what u see in Europe, there would be full blown divorce rates in Nigeria, that judges would have more divorce cases to handle than criminal cases, that's the only reason ur wife hasn't divorced u since, is not because she loves u, is because she has to be sure that when she divorces u, she doesn't lose out, cos the marital laws here are still not gynocentric, Yes I said it!! Infact Nigerian girls own divorce would be so annoying and toxic that u would feel like murdering her in cold blood!

babythug:
Divorce is an unfortunate situation to be in. Nonetheless it’s not the end of the world . Both himself and his former wife are to blame . He should brace up and try the following:

1. Dust himself and be ready to start over .
2. Face his career or job
3. Determine to be at peace with his ex no matter the level of provocation or otherwise
4. Be the best father he can be to his children given the circumstances. Pay whatever bills as deemed necessary and pay extra where possible
5. He should document any payment made
6. He must not bring the kids into the divorce by relaying what their mum has done or not done to them
7.

babythug:
Divorce is an unfortunate situation to be in. Nonetheless it’s not the end of the world . Both himself and his former wife are to blame . He should brace up and try the following:

1. Dust himself and be ready to start over .
2. Face his career or job
3. Determine to be at peace with his ex no matter the level of provocation or otherwise
4. Be the best father he can be to his children given the circumstances. Pay whatever bills as deemed necessary and pay extra where possible
5. He should document any payment made
6. He must not bring the kids into the divorce by relaying what their mum has done or not done to them
7.

Keshinr0:
Am against him coming back
You guys should give him support, help him get his life back.
Tell him to forget about his kids, for now, when they are old enough they will be with him him

RisenPhoenix1:
By making her a co-signatory she legally becomes equally liable for the debt. The man in this case can always file for bankruptcy and she goes it all alone; which is only fair considering that she's getting the house awarded to her in the end. Of course, he will lose all his earlier payments, but at least he won't have to make any future payments on the house, while she's living in it with her next victim.

My friend who's a financial planner secretly supports this, though to his friends, not openly in front of his clients. But in this case it's too late, she'll never agree. He can still default and let them repossess though.

Here's a case study from the UK.
http://thebankruptcyservice.co.uk/bankruptcy-and-joint-mortgages

The bottom line is; and I can never stress this enough; leave your family back home if you want to go hustle for money in the US or Europe. Come back when you've made a little capital and invest in Nigeria. Carrying your family abroad is not for the legally or financially uneducated.

ibedun:
Legitimacy based on whose standards or rules?

Michelle55:
How do people who vows to take the forever steps together suddenly turns against each other overnight? Just how?

petitejolie:
5k a month ke ? Is he that rich?

ibedun:
You are wrong, I don’t hate women but I am very sensitive to their intentions and tomfoolery. They are ever so calculating when they come into contact with men and it is usually the case with matured ladies (worse among those from poor countries like Nigeria). I don’t like that.

ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.

Henvest:
"Marital rape, drugs, child abuse, adultery .....e.t.c"
Just a case of giving a dog name to kill it.
I wonder why we black man still don't understand that marriage , divorce or marital law.. I don't know the Bleep they call it...is just one of many tools and system put in place to keep black men down, in this case using their wife.
The same way they use media , religion, culture , politics e.t.c is the same way they are using women in marriage to bring and keep men down.

Meanwhile it has been proven that women, mostly Nigeria women are like Lion cub .
No matter how lovely and cute they look at young age once they become independent they turn into a monster.
And u will surely be their first victim after U have help them grow.
If you must train them make sure u trim their jaws and finger from time to time.
Lastly never allow society to push you into taking your wife abroad to live with you in order to be a real man..
The story has never end well unless God is on your side.
All the systems they interact with there are design to brainwash them into being a willing tool for your down fall