₦airaland Forum

antysocial:
Hi guys, I’ll make this as short as possible.
There is this babe I’m dating, we’ve known each other for about 3 years and were very close but started dating about 5 months ago.

3 days ago, I told her there is this business I want us to do together, she really liked it and she told me she wanted to speak to me about something. She sent a voice note where she said she’s likes me , my personality, and all, she sees me as someone she can talk to about any issue and all of that but she still finds it difficult to come to the realization that I’m her boyfriend and hence cannot feel that “love” for me

She was like she seems me as a very close friend and all that but can’t picture herself sharing sexual energy with me. So she finds it difficult to say She Loves me but she definately likes everything about me

She says it’s not my fault and it’s more of a physchology issue with her, She mentioned her mum and Dad are separated and with that experience, she finds it difficult to really go in love and relationships , a reason why she was single for over 3 years since before dating me.

Now a lot of things make it complicated
1. She’s definitely not cheating cos even though she’s not the type, I still made my findings

2. I’m not physically and financially bad or something, I mean

3. The relationship has been cool up until now, we shared moments, gone on outings, shared kisses and romantic moments , imagine the “God when “ couples you see on social media

Now, I am not a time waster or simp, if someone says they are not interested in me, I’ll let them go

But in this case , I don’t know what to do but I’m thinking of taking these steps

1. She said she had the same issue in her last relationship, so I’m thinking of physchological ways to help her solve it

2. I want to break up with her cos it’s difficult knowing you love someone and they reply back with they like everything about you but can feel like relationship love for you

3. I suspect something fishy is going on but I cannot pin point it.

What do you guys think? I need an outside party eye view to this

richmond500:
nairaland has the highest number of stupid people per square kilometer

DaddyRochie1642:
Let me translate what she actually meant.

Oga what she actually meant is that she doesn't find you "Sexually Attractive".
Could be that maybe your voice is not deep and Manly, maybe your body is not what "Turns her on", maybe she likes Broad Shoulders, or a nice chest or arms bla bla bla,

Women place much importance on a man's shape and body if you don't know.

Lemme tell you a secret,
Don't chase women, rather, let women chase you because when women chase you, it's Because you're her "Spec" and she'll make things easier for you.... But when you chase a woman, you put yourself at a disadvantage because you don't know if you're actually her "spec" and that's the mistake you guys make.

If you like Spend Heaven and Earth on a woman, you can never buy a woman's Love

PrimadonnaO:
@antysocial , she's not sexually attracted to you.

I think she was being quite sincere. She likes a lot of qualities about you, and probably you as a person but no romantic feelings.

I think this is because of all the years you guys were together as friends. For years, she merely saw you as a friend... a brotherly friend.

Making that psychological adjustment to seeing you as a romantic partner is where the issue lies.

Two things... you can wait it out and continue the relationship, the sexual feelings may come... especially if you guys attempt pre-intimacy and you successfully turn her on. Lol. But I feel somehow giving you such an advice.
If the relationship has survived 5 months, there's a chance the feelings will build up. I mean, she's even been kisisng you! I'll never be able to kiss someone I'm not attracted to.

Second option is to just end the relationship because there's a chance she may never be secually attracted to you. And sexual attraction is super important in a relationship.

Godada:




It has come to my notice that Nairaland has more confused guys than ladies per Smart phone used.


And it's true.....a Lady knows on the spot if she wanna open her box of chocolate or not the moment she lays eyes on you. So be the spec that unlock the gash

PrimadonnaO:
@antysocial , she's not sexually attracted to you.

I think she was being quite sincere. She likes a lot of qualities about you, and probably you as a person but no romantic feelings.

I think this is because of all the years you guys were together as friends. For years, she merely saw you as a friend... a brotherly friend.

Making that psychological adjustment to seeing you as a romantic partner is where the issue lies.

Two things... you can wait it out and continue the relationship, the sexual feelings may come... especially if you guys attempt pre-intimacy and you successfully turn her on. Lol. But I feel somehow giving you such an advice.
If the relationship has survived 5 months, there's a chance the feelings will build up. I mean, she's even been kisisng you! I'll never be able to kiss someone I'm not attracted to.

Second option is to just end the relationship because there's a chance she may never be sexually attracted to you. And sexual attraction is super important in a relationship.

ThiagoKid:
Our brother in deeply in the friend-zone

AsherAmari:
Mr Man, wake up! She doesn't love you and nothing can make her bend to your will.

One thing i find annoying about men is.. they don't know when a woman loves them and when she doesn't. And when the woman is truthful enough to tell them that she doesn't dig them, they'll start begging or want to try and force the love and it doesn't work that way!

Mr man, I don't not expect you to come here sounding confused. I don't want is I don't want .forget whether she is faithful wife material or not. Her chemistry is not compatible with yours. I know it difficult to accept but when there's nothing you can about it, why not let go?.

baralatie:
it is not about chemistry!
the guy went about the relationship with a wrong mentality!
they friends for 3 years with her not even feeling his sexual energy!
now 5 months she does not believe she wants to be in a sexual relationship with him because she knows a whole lot that does not move her rara

baralatie:
it is not about chemistry!
the guy went about the relationship with a wrong mentality!
they friends for 3 years with her not even feeling his sexual energy!
now 5 months she does not believe she wants to be in a sexual relationship with him because she knows a whole lot that does not move her rara

AsherAmari:
We are saying the same things. Chemistry and not being sexually attracted to someone mean same and one thing.

It has happened to me before.
I was just being friends with this guy. As in I cook for him before he gets back from work because I feel he's a nice guy and don't want him to stress when he comes back. I was just being nice.

Now I did those things because when I broke up with my guy then, he was the one consoling me and trying to bring us back. So I saw him as someone who had my interest at heart but I never felt anything for him.
All of a sudden he started trying to get personal. I noticed it immediately, cut the friendship and abandoned him.

This guy stopped greeting me and we didn't talk to each other again till we moved out of that compound and I didn't bother because I don't and will never love him despite the fact he was a nice guy.

Men always mistake our niceness for love or affection towards them. I don't pity them because they don't listen.

antysocial:
Hi guys, I’ll make this as short as possible.
There is this babe I’m dating, we’ve known each other for about 3 years and were very close but started dating about 5 months ago.

3 days ago, I told her there is this business I want us to do together, she really liked it and she told me she wanted to speak to me about something. She sent a voice note where she said she’s likes me , my personality, and all, she sees me as someone she can talk to about any issue and all of that but she still finds it difficult to come to the realization that I’m her boyfriend and hence cannot feel that “love” for me

She was like she seems me as a very close friend and all that but can’t picture herself sharing sexual energy with me. So she finds it difficult to say She Loves me but she definately likes everything about me

She says it’s not my fault and it’s more of a physchology issue with her, She mentioned her mum and Dad are separated and with that experience, she finds it difficult to really go in love and relationships , a reason why she was single for over 3 years since before dating me.

Now a lot of things make it complicated
1. She’s definitely not cheating cos even though she’s not the type, I still made my findings

2. I’m not physically and financially bad or something, I mean

3. The relationship has been cool up until now, we shared moments, gone on outings, shared kisses and romantic moments , imagine the “God when “ couples you see on social media

Now, I am not a time waster or simp, if someone says they are not interested in me, I’ll let them go

But in this case , I don’t know what to do but I’m thinking of taking these steps

1. She said she had the same issue in her last relationship, so I’m thinking of physchological ways to help her solve it

2. I want to break up with her cos it’s difficult knowing you love someone and they reply back with they like everything about you but can feel like relationship love for you

3. I suspect something fishy is going on but I cannot pin point it.

What do you guys think? I need an outside party eye view to this

juniorstar:
if u want her simply tell her u no do again DAT u can't wait forever and walk out. don't pick her call or reply her text and if you meet for road avoid her...SAY NO TO TIME WASTERS!!!!

DaddyRochie1642:
Let me translate what she actually meant.

Oga what she actually meant is that she doesn't find you "Sexually Attractive".
Could be that maybe your voice is not deep and Manly, maybe your body is not what "Turns her on", maybe she likes Broad Shoulders, or a nice chest or arms bla bla bla,

Women place much importance on a man's shape and body if you don't know.

Lemme tell you a secret,
Don't chase women, rather, let women chase you because when women chase you, it's Because you're her "Spec" and she'll make things easier for you.... But when you chase a woman, you put yourself at a disadvantage because you don't know if you're actually her "spec" and that's the mistake you guys make.

If you like Spend Heaven and Earth on a woman, you can never buy a woman's Love

Fxwarrior:
A woman that feels that her biological clock is ticking away can chase any man. When you marry her and she gets bored with you, then will you realize the error of your thoughts.