thebosstrevor1:


He earns 55k he should give her about 40k, he should stop giving his mum money and should not think about savings now.

He should get another job, pampers, baby milk, if the wife is not breast feeding are all expensive.

The man is still talking about sex, if i was him, i don't think sex will be in my books, the kind work i go work, my wife will beg me to stop.

Uber and taxify is now available, he should join that and work hard, things will change.

Let us not be emotional here.
His mum is living rent free, unless she is idle, she must have a source of small small income. So why giving her money.
They are living in family house. Should they be cooking separate? That's why I said the wife should handle feeding. If the mum is idle, she should help take care of her grand children. Must that be spelt out to her?
He should also remember that as he is giving his mum money's wifey has mum too. And yes for that small salary with triplets, he need only tfare.

Like you said, he can drive. People look down on these means of livelihood yet they pay better.

He even borrow money to marry.
Abeg, I don't know what to say again.

SweetCunt97:
my dear one baby consumes almost 20k per month not to talk of 3. She cant breaetfeed them all na. Baby food is now expensive sef

Babies are not cheap to maintain; feeding and grooming. When you have of same age, it's a big task, no passing down clothes from one to the other because they are same age.

Plus that 25k is also meant to care for the needs in the house for husband and wife.

Babe it's a lot. Op has a tall task.

Op you are not stingy but all you and your wife needs to do is proper planning. You have to stop eating out. Once you've gotten ur salary, sit down with ur wife and draw a plan. Eg:
After removing your Mum's 10k,ur 5k savings. Then the 40k should be planned on very well.
Nice
What kind of food are you feeding ur triplets? You
can buy raw maize (joro and dawa) soak and grind to process pap.
But she needs to buy peak powder milk (peak 123)about 3 tins, this should last a month.

If your kids are up to 6 months, you can introduce semi solid food like beans, draw soup and light swallow garnished with fish.
If your wife is not working, then she has to try and prepare breakfast for you to eat before leaving for work,or better still she can be packing lunch for you to stop you from spending on food in ur work place. Then when you get home in the evening, you eat dinner, this will help a lot in salvaging your finances.

She can locate the nearest bush market in your area to be buying food stuff you guys will be needing in a month.

Please, you can manage and increase her monthly upkeep to 30k,then persuade her to be making breakfast for you.

And lastly, learn to ignore her ranting and nagging while you encourage her to get something doing if your kids have come of age. you will scale through this phase soon.

Stay positive

Prospertochu:

...but what should I do?

Op, your wife’s demand for more upkeep money are in order. Considering the cost of things and the many mouths to feed. But she’s maybe going about the whole thing in the wrong way by always fighting you like it’s your wish to earn 55K.

To reduce your constant fights, you have to try and make her see the effort you’re putting in to earn what you’re currently earning. Also, try and assure her you’re motivated to put in even more efforts to increase the financial burden of the family. And of course, praise her for her efforts in navigating with the 25K you’ve been summiting ( she’s probably the smartest mathematician ALIVE). Because she’s probably now known as the woman who prices Maggi in the market!

Finally, I think you should re-evaluate the way you allocate your monthly income and to who. We all love our moms but do you think you have enough to spare 10K to her monthly? Do you have to even do that? I’m sure she understands the situation of things so you probably do not have to send her money every month. Richer people don’t send their parents monthly money if they can help it.

The key is to be completely honest that your wife feel she knows 100% what you earn and where the whole money vanishes into. This is one of the few times it's actually a good idea to let your wifey know what you earn. Reduce your own personal fraction to the bearest minimum. Save little for truly raining days. Make her believe she actually Okayed whatever sharing formula bring satisfaction. Then you both plan ahead.

Guy to Man, brother, you don’t what your wife’s job right now taking care of 3 toddlers. The shiit they’re ready to take doing that job is simply beyond a mortal Man.

Good luck Brother

nifemi25:
During your courtship, you should have known whom your wife to be is,, you would have noticed some nagging in her, just that you didn't focused on it....even do you gave your salary to her, am sure she won't still be satisfied...just pray God help you

She might not be like that...Taking care of three kids i mean triplets without finance can be fraustrating. 25k is way too small 4 their upkeep


op, just double ur hustle. wen ur kids are grown alittle bit, let ur wife go find sumting doin too

Jossyfine:
Op you are not stingy but all you and your wife needs to do is proper planning. You have to stop eating out. Once you've gotten ur salary, sit down with ur wife and draw a plan. Eg:
After removing your Mum's 10k,ur 5k savings. Then the 40k should be planned on very well.
Nice
What kind of food are you feeding ur triplets? You
can buy raw maize (joro and dawa) soak and grind to process pap.
But she needs to buy peak powder milk (peak 123)about 3 tins, this should last a month.

If your kids are up to 6 months, you can introduce semi solid food like beans, draw soup and light swallow garnished with fish.
If your wife is not working, then she has to try and prepare breakfast for you to eat before leaving for work,or better still she can be packing lunch for you to stop you from spending on food in ur work place. Then when you get home in the evening, you eat dinner, this will help a lot in salvaging your finances.

She can locate the nearest bush market in your area to be buying food stuff you guys will be needing in a month.

Please, you can manage and increase her monthly upkeep to 30k,then persuade her to be making breakfast for you.

And lastly, learn to ignore her ranting and nagging while you encourage her to get something doing if your kids have come of age. you will scale through this phase soon.

Stay positive

This has to be the most practical response I have read on this thread so far.

All they require for now is proper planning, and a more appreciative woman who is willing to join in that planning...
Any other thing is complete hogwash.

Prospertochu:

I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage my plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stay in her father house, her mother was fine with it as long I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children. I. Pleaded her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister. My mother in law refuse saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to saved enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me. My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complain about the money not being enough I refuse giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but  she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know its too late now to change the past but what should I do?

55k is like $100 for a family of 5 in a month... that is like $20 per month per head. you are living way below poverty level. what you need is daily money cos you won't be able to do or concentrate at work.

find korope or napep for hustle in 6month you should stabilize.

you have to do something different and radical to your finance.

therein lies your solution.

Mariangeles:

If you and your wife can find a way to be at peace with each other, and be of one mind, believe me, everything will be alright.
Even the little income will be manageable.

You might think money is the main problem, but it's not. It's just a part of it.
You both need to come together in peace, understanding and agreement, that way, the situation becomes easier to bear.

If you both continue the way you're going, even if you begin to earn up to #300-400k, it'll still seem to not be enough. There will always be something to fight about.
Be at peace with yourself, your wife, your children, and the situation, then it will become easier for you to work hard and earn more for your family.
Life is too short to live in regrets.
You're blessed with 3 beautiful babies, but you're blinded to see it. Be grateful.
It's not easy, yes, but hey! Life is a struggle for everyone, one way or another.

Hmmmm, this is a solid contribution too... Good one

I think you should stick to using this your username more often, the other one seems not to be as bright as this.

madridguy:
Stop condemning his wife and be truthful. You think the 50% is enough for the woman to care for herself and three kids?
50% of 45K because the OP is giving his mum 10K every month as well.

thank you jare, I'm not blaming the wife o with Nigeria �� economy its not easy.. I v just one kid nd I spent alot everyday sometimes I felt like running away I swear and I v provision store, I'm still complaining,, op God will provide your wife is trying o, na woman I b i.i.understand her, God will see u tru..I would love to b helping but its not easy anywhere

Don't f with someone you can't marrrrryyyyy.....

Kriss216:

So, what is the wife contributing to the family? A man shouldn't care for his mum cos he got married to a senseless lady?

If 50% of the guy's income ain't enough for the wife, then, nothing in this world would be enough for her. She's inconsiderate and she's not a woman to bring happiness in a man's life.

I'm all for working wives but triplets, you CNT get anything done.with one she can back with a wrapper and go hustling but 3,while you think you are finishing,the job just started.25k is nothing where triplets are.You CNT even bring in a help cos they can't afford it.She'll only get a breather around 5 years that is for baby girls cos they mentally mature fast but if boys your case is more complicated.

Op,call her and gently talk with her.reach an agreement with her.Both of you are under great pressure financially cos honestly 55k can't cater for you ppl at all.You need a side hustle or set her up so she can sell something from home.

Wahsla be like triplets for a poor young man .

purples25:
Don't f with someone you can't marrrrryyyyy.....

Is that possible?

I like the way you live to face the consequences of your actions. ( fornicating). If someone tried to preach to you then to stop fornicating you wouldl have called him names and bullshit him. Now you're crying foul and asking what to do.

Did you seek advice when your body was scratching you and losing control? Mr, man carry your cross. In your next world, you'll learn to control your manhood.

I wish those who are still engaging in fornication and premarital sex don't stop. They will always meet it in front.

If the kids are not at the stage where they can sleep through the night, she’s not in any shape to make breakfast for him in the morning. He can make his own breakfast so that she can get at least 2-3 hours of sleep within a 24 hour period.
Trust me that woman is not sleeping.
OP shouldn’t be another baby she has to add to her list of nursing children.

OP disregard if your triplets are older now. However, If they are still babies, please make your own food before you leave the house. Don’t kill her with stress.

Jossyfine:
Op you are not stingy but all you and your wife needs to do is proper planning. You have to stop eating out. Once you've gotten ur salary, sit down with ur wife and draw a plan. Eg:
After removing your Mum's 10k,ur 5k savings. Then the 40k should be planned on very well.
Nice
What kind of food are you feeding ur triplets? You
can buy raw maize (joro and dawa) soak and grind to process pap.
But she needs to buy peak powder milk (peak 123)about 3 tins, this should last a month.

If your kids are up to 6 months, you can introduce semi solid food like beans, draw soup and light swallow garnished with fish.
If your wife is not working, then she has to try and prepare breakfast for you to eat before leaving for work,or better still she can be packing lunch for you to stop you from spending on food in ur work place. Then when you get home in the evening, you eat dinner, this will help a lot in salvaging your finances.

She can locate the nearest bush market in your area to be buying food stuff you guys will be needing in a month.

Please, you can manage and increase her monthly upkeep to 30k,then persuade her to be making breakfast for you.

And lastly, learn to ignore her ranting and nagging while you encourage her to get something doing if your kids have come of age. you will scale through this phase soon.

Stay positive

cococandy:
who’s going to care for the 3 little children (same age) while she’s out working?

Maybe they will use her salary to pay a minder for the kids....
Some people with "why is the wife not working "

the right time you should have bordered yourself is when she was still pregnant. now that she have put to bed successfully. you should tell the parents that you can't cope and that you're no longer interested in the marriage.

thelish:


Maybe they will use her salary to pay a minder for the kids....
Some people with "why is the wife not working "

It’s in line with their perpetual disregard for women’s contributions. Otherwise how will a sane person look at a mom with small children and wonder what they are contributing to the family. It’s because they are ignorant of what’s involved. To them it’s nothing.

Jimmyubah2:
Doesn't your wife work or own a business?

As a robot or what?

cococandy:


It’s in line with their perpetual disregard for women’s contributions. Otherwise how will a sane person look at a mom with small children and wonder what they are contributing to the family. It’s because they are ignorant of what’s involved. To them it’s nothing.

Thanks my lady

Sorry sir

Prospertochu:
I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness.

Let her go my guy.

If she leaves, send the kids to your mom and give your mom 30k to take care of them, she will gladly support you.

EVERY MAN DESERVES HIS PEACE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE EARNS!

I agree that you need to do more, but nagging does not change the situation and if she keeps at it, she will send you to crime or an early grave. Try to work with her, but if she refuses to work with and support you, let her go.

gnykelly:


55k is like $100 for a family of 5 in a month... that is like $20 per month per head. you are living way below poverty level. what you need is daily money cos you won't be able to do or concentrate at work.

find korope or napep for hustle in 6month you should stabilize.

you have to do something different and radical to your finance.

therein lies your solution.

Op, look into the bolded. What you need is more income. No need to be fighting and regretting that you’re married, the truth is that your income isn’t enough and your triplets are here already.

Rather you should start appreciating your wife so that she go begin to pray for you make you prosper well well... the woman dey try abeg!

By the way, you can also add your location and skills to your story for possible opportunities. E go better!!!

RedSquid:
If you are old enough to have an erection, have fun, why bother the world

Tomorrow if those triplets are Davido, Burna and Wizkid, you'll disturb the whole continent

My friend would you buckle up and be a man

. Just kidding. Now on a serious note, the first place of solution is your mind. You need to have a solid grasp of your mind so you can come up with sharp and accurate solutions to your urgent needs.



The first is finance. Plan around the new reality you have so you can get the needed resources you need for the family.


1. Plant her in a church and in a service unit where she will get recognised and will ultimately turn out to an avenue for getting help like job etc from time to time.



2. Your reality is your reality. Put pen to paper on your financial earnings and plan with it first while you strive to make more.

Shut up

crackhaus:

Hmmmm, this is a solid contribution too... Good one

I think you should stick to using this your username more often, the other one seems not to be as bright as this.

I for say thank you but you dey krase!

That one is for my inner child...for when she's carefree and playful...which I am most of the time.
Who cares no?

I see those kids becoming future beginner, doctor and scientist. I see the mother turning a new leaf....I see you building a new house.
This I have seen

Op must be a Yoruba man

brownemmanuel43:
Op must be a Yoruba man

Why you talk so? Lol

Omho men. Honestly op if I was in your shoes I go just kill myself walai. I really feel for you men. Sorry.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Oboy, don't accuse your wife, she's not the cause of the problem.

You and your wife should sit down and discuss the way forward. It's understandable that she's acting the way she is because 55k monthly is small for even a single person not to talk of a family of 5. You two should sit down, figure out how you can earn better and find a way to get her something to do to support the family, even if it's small. You need understanding between you two, not fights and disagreements.

You should also know the three kids are your responsibility now. If it's possible for you to reduce your personal expenses to make sure you provide for them, you have to do that. I know your salary is small but bros this is the life you signed up for when you got her pregnant. You have to make the sacrifice. Most importantly, make your wife understand, handle her with care, love and understanding and get her something little to do for a start.

So sad!

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

I pity your life, no money but you dey bang woman left right and center, can you keep your prick in one place?

Now the thing don put shame for your life now

WizKid is a goat