₦airaland Forum

pozehnani:
That should tell you that is how they allow other men to enter raw. Spreading disease everywhere.

I weak for this generation. It just sucks!

Very scary.

erico2k2:
You as a man can never sleep at night when there is a baby in the house, you must wake up. Speaking as a father i can put my hand on my chest and tell you this.

that’s actually good. Now when you’re awake, do you help? And I use help loosely for want of a better word because you’re their parent too and you’re not supposed to be “helping” rather it should be part of your job.
Do you take turns to soothe the baby so that the other parent can catch a nap?

Jossyfine:
Op you are not stingy but all you and your wife needs to do is proper planning. You have to stop eating out. Once you've gotten ur salary, sit down with ur wife and draw a plan. Eg:
After removing your Mum's 10k,ur 5k savings. Then the 40k should be planned on very well.
Nice
What kind of food are you feeding ur triplets? You
can buy raw maize (joro and dawa) soak and grind to process pap.
But she needs to buy peak powder milk (peak 123)about 3 tins, this should last a month.

If your kids are up to 6 months, you can introduce semi solid food like beans, draw soup and light swallow garnished with fish.
If your wife is not working, then she has to try and prepare breakfast for you to eat before leaving for work,or better still she can be packing lunch for you to stop you from spending on food in ur work place. Then when you get home in the evening, you eat dinner, this will help a lot in salvaging your finances.

She can locate the nearest bush market in your area to be buying food stuff you guys will be needing in a month.

Please, you can manage and increase her monthly upkeep to 30k,then persuade her to be making breakfast for you.

And lastly, learn to ignore her ranting and nagging while you encourage her to get something doing if your kids have come of age. you will scale through this phase soon.

Stay positive

I read your comments thrice..
Gosh, any man that marries you is a lucky Chap..
All female contributors here were just saying balderdash without offering a balanced advice without sentiments and emotions but your contribution stood out..
other contributors here including the males were shouting that he should cut off the 10k he sends to his mom, but you never said so.. (I read that line thrice to be sure of it) it shows how considerate you are, and you brought up an idea of him sitting his ass down and planning how to diligently spend the remaining 45k on the family, even suggesting the maize, dawa options..
Everything you said was just on point..
can't start listing them all..
Rounding it up by telling him to ignore her Rants and he should remain positive..
I am totally overwhelmed, I doff my hats to your sensible contribution..
OP, this is the best advice you could get here.. Not the one been dished out by some confused boys and some bitter Feminist wannabes..

Jossy, Your kind is so Rare. ..
#Respect.

nifemi25:
During your courtship, you should have known whom your wife to be is,, you would have noticed some nagging in her, just that you didn't focused on it....even do you gave your salary to her, am sure she won't still be satisfied...just pray God help you

now wat has the wife done..as a female student can u live with 25k a month and u expect 4 peole to live with 25k a month..from this 25k the wife will still cook for the house where the husband also eats from when he comes back from work..hus kept 25k for himself for data sub and tfair and gives 20k to four persons and he go still use him own stomach cut that 25k..this woman deserves a mendal.nobody should tell this woman to go and work she already has a job for the nxt 4 years..i feel for her.you have everyright to fighy complain nag and insult him this will serve as a morivation to him

descarado:
Is that possible?

Of course...

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Don't let her madness lead you to early grave

Leave her to do her worst it's either she goes with the children or leave the children behind and go

You can't still to please her, never you can not

I pray she leaves the children and go, just move them to your mum

How does she want you to cope with that little salary yet contributes nothing

This time around be prepared for the worst, let the animal in you come out

She just want to make life unbearable for you

Elliot2:
Bravo! This is what every man should experience, an understanding woman, one who does not have entitlement mentality. Men are willing to spend more in this case. You don't have to nag a man to death when you know he is putting his best but not enough, a little appreciation and encouragement does it magic.

You are absolutely right bro. Close to 10 years, I still have reasons to appreciate that gift from God especially as bizarre stories are always flying on social media. I wish every marriage should experience peace of mind even beyond how I do.

RedSquid:
Baby. Who in the world will take better care of 3 kids than the mother. My dear sit down your turn go soon reach

. A mother is one who gives birth, but one who takes care of the child from birth.

frozen70:
Don't let her madness lead you to early grave

Leave her to do her worst it's either she goes with the children or leave the children behind and go

You can't still to please her, never you can not

I pray she leaves the children and go, just move them to your mum

How does she want you to cope with that little salary yet contributes nothing

This time around be prepared for the worst, let the animal in you come out

She just want to make life unbearable for you

if he gives his own mum 20k for his children.after 1 week his mum will start nagging..except she is rich or has rich siblings prob nor they finish

Hotguy27:
You are absolutely right bro. Close to 10 years, I still have reasons to appreciate that gift from God especially as bizarre stories are always flying on social media. I wish every marriage should experience peace of mind even beyond how I do.

Yeah, but sadly life is not balanced. Enjoy your own and guard it jealously.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Bro women are unpredictable, but to think of it that 25k is not enough for her in this current harsh Nigeria. Economy hard

erico2k2:
were the Job dey? and what is the woman doing to help the situation? abi she come to the marriage with the kids?

She is a nursing mother , u dont expect her to do anything at the moment..
Its not easy to look after 3kids and still keep up with any work.

Like I said he should Go to his church and solicit for help . depending on the church he attends , beoz I know some churches do help their members in dire need

It is a blessing in disguise to OP that he and his wife are quarrelling and even fighting at the moment. I can bet my left balls that if he ever gets comfortable in this his present situation, he will impregnate his wife again which might bear another triplets or twins!!! Or possibly another child!

This is the point where OP is taught Sexual Education first before anything else! Some men would be taught to masturbate or visit brothels to blow off steam at the moment ( however ugly it may sound ), this is the main goal at the moment, before finding ways to increase income or working things to become stable!

Ogbeni op you need to face reality of life. You need to up your game because as it is now your income is too poor to cater for your immediate family. Why give 20% of your income to your mother while your wife and children starve away? At this stage I expect your mother to be of assistance to your family and not to pest on your meagre income.

Do the math. Divide 25k by 30 days and then divide the outcome by 5. #166.7 per head for a nursing mother and triplet including you. She must be a magician.

In the interim you need to withdraw the 10k that goes to your mother to support your wife and children. Is your mother that old that she can not work to support herself? Let your mother know that you have a family to care for and you also need her assistance. Your earning is too poor to be a father Christmas presently. Be the father to your children first. And stop being petty!

Fatherhood comes with responsibilities.

Duru9:
Tomorrow this child will be this (Dangote)
Tomorrow this child will be that (Bill gate)
Y'all forgot that the child can still be (bandits, boko haram, ritualist, kidnapper, cultist)

Make una no de bring the idea of tomorrow child fit be this jare



At OP if she wants to leave you with the kids let her go
Get a sister to take care of your kids for you
Atleast you've got kids already no need to marry again just hustle and make sure you provide for them

Unless you too wan dey useless like their mama

I don laff tire my belle don empty,na all this quote bastard children don full everywhere

Mindlog:
Suggest what she can do with 3 babies that needs round the clock attention.

My mum was nursing twins with older siblings that were still young and she was still doing her hairdressing business.

What sort of question are you asking? There are lots of business she can do. She can open a small business like small shop to sell provisions or food stuffs as well as other types of businesses even if she is still breastfeeding the children...

The guy is trying abeg.

:'u are talking like mumu, 25k is not enough for one person, how much more 5, are you drunk, you if they give you 25k for a month are you the right one for your self, not all post you should open your mouth wide and talk, some just shut up,

The guy needs to buckle up,

Sending 10k to his mum that is just one, and giving the wife 25k that is taking care of five people,

Is this not wickedness.and I am sure he eats 3 to four times a day, meaning if the wife do not give him food he will fight.


And you are here spilling rubbish that the wife is not good for him

Rubbish, you as an individual ,how much do you spend for your self?

reality don set for una eyes, u nko dey seek escape root

DrFunmisticGlow:
she has 3x every right to nag o!!

For what? when she bn dey shout harder harder she no realise sey life no balance? Nag sey make him go theif or what? Instead of brainstorming, baby nagging she wants use solve problem?

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

this is the genesis of your problems
nairalanders i beg you dont make this type of mistake. make we dey use our senses small
bros, what happened to using condoms or postionor

oceanized25:
Brother erm,your wife is right o...e be like you stingy small.
You give ur wife 20k n later 25k after many argument for the family upkeep...you guys are 4 in number,o wrong nau.
I am single,I don't consider myself as one who spends recklessly at all but uses 40k monthly...but somehow you feel you,wife,n kids should use 25k?
Try raise the money for family upkeep,I think 45k or 50 could be something for a prudent woman considering you don't have much.

Do you even consider the fact that this guy might be transporting himself to work, eat at work? Did you read the part he also said he gives 10k to the mother monthly? Did you also read the part that says he earns 55k ?

Jossyfine:
Op you are not stingy but all you and your wife needs to do is proper planning. You have to stop eating out. Once you've gotten ur salary, sit down with ur wife and draw a plan. Eg:
After removing your Mum's 10k,ur 5k savings. Then the 40k should be planned on very well.
Nice
What kind of food are you feeding ur triplets? You
can buy raw maize (joro and dawa) soak and grind to process pap.
But she needs to buy peak powder milk (peak 123)about 3 tins, this should last a month.

If your kids are up to 6 months, you can introduce semi solid food like beans, draw soup and light swallow garnished with fish.
If your wife is not working, then she has to try and prepare breakfast for you to eat before leaving for work,or better still she can be packing lunch for you to stop you from spending on food in ur work place. Then when you get home in the evening, you eat dinner, this will help a lot in salvaging your fin

OP this is the advice you need

pennywys:


Bro women are unpredictable, but to think of it that 25k is not enough for her in this current harsh Nigeria. Economy hard

economy don spoil
things don cost

If the story is genuine, methinks capable people should try to help this family out. Advice and criticisms are great, but they need more than that now.

Toks2008:
My mum was nursing twins with older siblings that were still young and she was still doing her hairdressing business.

What sort of question are you asking? There are lots of business she can do. She can open a small business like small shop to sell provisions or food stuffs as well as other types of businesses even if she is still breastfeeding the children...

The guy is trying abeg.

Am glad you mentioned older siblings which was a plus because they served as minders even if they were minors themselves so your mum could focus somewhere else and was running her hair dressing business before the twins but a first time mother with triplets which no extra hand (at least the OP didn't mention they have). I am imagining a woman breastfeeding triplets, cleaning them up regularly, cooing them individually to sleep will effectively run a business.

Elliot2:
For what? when she bn dey shout harder harder she no realise sey life no balance? Nag sey make him go theif or what? Instead of brainstorming, baby nagging she wants use solve problem?

he should have thought of stealing before bringing 3 inocent children into this world

madridguy:
Brother, no point regretting marrying your wife. The only problem is a simple fact, 55K is small for a family of 5 in this present Nigeria.

I would suggest you continue to pacify your wife because raising 3 kids is not a small a task.

May God expand your income.

Well said.
If only we were a sane country, someone with triplets ought to have some form of financial assistance. Ie social services.
Have triplets in Russia and you don hammer.

od501:
Do you even consider the fact that this guy might be transporting himself to work, eat at work? Did you read the part he also said he gives 10k to the mother monthly? Did you also read the part that says he earns 55k ?

did u read the part where the woman wil buy pampars baby food.buy food for herself cuz if she doesnt eat well while breastfeeding at night she will go mad.prepare food for the man in d morning and evening.why should a man with 3 children that earns 55k eat in d afternoon...did u read the part that those babies need cloths and drugs when they fall sick..he should give the wife the whole 55k ..trek to work to and fro and beg his mum for assistance with the asurance that he will return the assistance once he gets more income.thats a real man..sacrifice

ABANGWABOI:
I read your comments thrice..
Gosh, any man that marries you is a lucky Chap..
All female contributors here were just saying balderdash without offering a balanced advice without sentiments and emotions but your contribution stood out..
other contributors here including the males were shouting that he should cut off the 10k he sends to his mom, but you never said so.. (I read that line thrice to be sure of it) it shows how considerate you are, and you brought up an idea of him sitting his ass down and planning how to diligently spend the remaining 45k on the family, even suggesting the maize, dawa options..
Everything you said was just on point..
can't start listing them all..
Rounding it up by telling him to ignore her Rants and he should remain positive..
I am totally overwhelmed, I doff my hats to your sensible contribution..
OP, this is the best advice you could get here.. Not the one been dished out by some confused boys and some bitter Feminist wannabes..

Jossy, Your kind is so Rare. ..
#Respect.

osazsky:
now wat has the wife done..as a female student can u live with 25k a month and u expect 4 peole to live with 25k a month..from this 25k the wife will still cook for the house where the husband also eats from when he comes back from work..hus kept 25k for himself for data sub and tfair and gives 20k to four persons and he go still use him own stomach cut that 25k..this woman deserves a mendal.nobody should tell this woman to go and work she already has a job for the nxt 4 years..i feel for her.you have everyright to fighy complain nag and insult him this will serve as a morivation to him

God bless you for saying the truth.
OP Go back to your wife and apologize to her, make her understand your predicament and assure that as soon as things improves she will certainly enjoy.

my own take is the money given to her is too small and u still feed frm stuffs she buys out of this small money. Get her a small job even if its 30k so she supports u and also see that its not easy.

SweetCunt97:
my dear one baby consumes almost 20k per month not to talk of 3. She cant breaetfeed them all na. Baby food is now expensive sef

Almost ke? One baby consumes 20k per week.

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